what I’m reading is a whole lot of blaming… a whole lot of Your daughter should have done this or that… instead of guiding me, on helping her now! Please consider this when helping others. Not everything is Black and white. The Church she (and I now) attended, is very wealthy… and very large… with 2500 families.
That said, yes, she should have done many things differently… but she didn’t… she is (was ) young. She reacted… We all have made mistakes.
She is trying to get back on track… Instead of helping her, she is being shunned.
Instead of saying… "if you go back to Church and … your baby can be Baptized… : she is getting “NO”
And this is what you all are saying to me…
“your daughter was wrong…” “your daughter should’ve done …” etc etc
Well it is too late for should haves/…/
I can’t speak for the motivation of anyone else…only me
I wasn’t attempting to blame your daughter at all
Rather, I was seeking to explain why the priest had grounds for deferring the baptism and to propose why the parents might have been removed from the list to which support envelopes are mailed
I was also attempting to tell you how a priest can conclude that someone has ceased being an active member of the parish by not seeing them, having any contact with them or at least from them
If this parish is also your canonical parish, then you need be aware that you’re able to guarantee yourself the child will be brought up in the faith, which fulfills the cited Canon 868 and its requirement, presuming you are willing to undertake that responsibility before the Church
I’ve done that myself many times…declined a baptism because there’s no founded hope for the parents to raise the child in the faith and then reversed the decision when a grandparent, aunt, uncle or other near relative attending Mass says they will see to the child’s Catholic formation and the parents agree to cooperate
Anyone can make an error, as you say. But your daughter would need to explain why she, in essence, dropped out of the parish
As I already said, not being well enough to get to Mass is well understandable to all of us who are priests
What is not understandable at all would be a parishioner facing a health crisis who is not seeking the pastoral care that generous volunteers provide in bringing the Eucharist to the homebound or in people not seeking the Church’s solicitude in a health crisis – when they may be facing God Himself
I mean…when I have had to be rushed to the hospital without time to alert a brother priest, the first thing I do after giving my medical history is to ask that a priest be called because that intervention is every bit as important – and even more – than my medical care, if I’m dangerously ill.
I agree with you that not everything is always black or white. But…if a person chooses not to practice their Catholic faith and instead goes and joins another Church/ecclesial community, that’s an act with profound consequences for both confessions; that decision has to be owned, when one is an adult
If it is indeed that the parish priest sent a letter telling your daughter and son-in-law that they could not participate in/be a part of their canonical parish because of an amount of money they did not give – and not simply a letter saying they would not be receiving any longer envelopes that were going unused – you should photocopy the letter and send it to the bishop. That is in violation of universal law and no particular law would allow for any abridgement or abrogation in that regard
If it is indeed that the pastor of the parish refuses to baptise the baby when you guarantee that you, as grandmother, attending Mass every Sunday in said parish, will see to the baby’s Catholic upbringing, that should be brought to the attention of the bishop, too. Canon law requires the priest with
cura animarum to provide necessary care to those souls who are his lawful subjects…and this would include baptism of an infant where there truly is founded hope that the child will be raised Catholic
If it is indeed that your daughter has explained how she was too ill to be part of parish activities and was not in touch with the parish’s ministry for the infirm and housebound for whatever valid reason she educes and the pastor is simply taking a punitive action, then that, too, should be made known to the chancery
The resolution to this lies with the priest of the parish and, perhaps, the bishop of the diocese – or at least the officials of his curia. I have no jurisdiction to resolve this matter and I’m not the ecclesiastic who can use all necessary authority in his hands to establish the facts in this case and arrive at a judgment…but, I can assure you, there is someone in your diocese who has that power and should willingly use it to adjudicate the matter
I spent years working in the chancery in various roles. When someone came to us with a situation in which they were wronged, we took corrective action
On the one hand, we did have people who came presenting to the Bishop an argument and a petition of pleading that was not accurate to the facts. They contended, for example, the priest had wrongfully denied baptism. Upon interrogation by the Bishop, however, it was established they were not attending Mass regularly nor was any member of family, there was no founded hope that the child would grow up attending Mass and catechism, and the priest’s decision was sustained by the Bishop
I remember other cases where the Bishop determined the founded hope mandated by the canon was present and summarily commanded the baptism be done, overriding everyone else
The fact that the parish is very wealthy and very large should not be part of the equation. That is not material for conferring sacraments upon canonical parishioners…again presuming that this is your parish under canon law
Again I merely wish you and your family well and hope it all works out. God bless each of you with peace.