Baptism of infant

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monmouth15

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Hello,

I am a faithful catholic and go to church every Sunday. My Husband however is not catholic. We recently welcomed our first child into the world! What a blessing. We are however in a bit of a debate. My husband is not against us raising the child Catholic be he is very much against an infant babtism. He believes the child should be able to choose for himself. I am aware fo the church’s believe of original sin but do not fully agree with it myself. I would like to have a Christening for the child and also for my family. Again - my husband is not against the Catholic religion be he is very against an infant babtism. I do not know what to do??? Please help!
 
monmouth15 said:
Hello,

I am a faithful catholic and go to church every Sunday. My Husband however is not catholic. We recently welcomed our first child into the world! What a blessing. We are however in a bit of a debate. My husband is not against us raising the child Catholic be he is very much against an infant babtism. He believes the child should be able to choose for himself. I am aware fo the church’s believe of original sin but do not fully agree with it myself. I would like to have a Christening for the child and also for my family. Again - my husband is not against the Catholic religion be he is very against an infant babtism. I do not know what to do??? Please help!
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First- it’s Baptism 🙂
Second- if your husband has said he will raise the children catholic, Infant baptism is one of those things that he, and you, have to accept.
You’re going to have to take a Baptism prep class before your child is baptized, so you can get some answers to y’alls questions then. Additionally- you need to make an appointment, for both of you, with your parish priest to discuss your baptism questions.
 
I am amazed that the subject of infant Baptism comes up every now and then – my children are all in their 50’s and we had them baptized when they were about 3-4 weeks old – that seemed to be the tradition at that time.
I don’t know what your husband would think if “you” were in a situation like I found myself with my first child. It was a “breech” birth, and I’m sure in today’s time they could probably do more to save the child. At any rate, my fist child only lived a couple of minutes, and I was totally in a state of unbelief, but when the doctor cried out for oxygen for the baby, I CRIED out for a priest. I don’t think there’s anything more difficult than losing a child, but sometimes wonder how I would feel if that priest didn’t come immediately and baptize my daughter.
 
This must be very difficult for you. As you are aware, infant baptism is a serious obligation on your part. From Canon 867 (Code of Canon Law):

Parents are obliged to see that their infants are baptized within the first few weeks. As soon as possible after the birth, indeed even before it, they are to approach the parish priest to ask for the sacrament for their child, and to be themselves duly prepared for it.

Jesus Himself told us of the necessity of Baptism:

Jesus answered, “Amen, amen, I say to you, no one can enter the kingdom of God without being born of water and Spirit.” (John 3:5)

Who would want to deny their child the Sacrament that assures the child eternal life should the child die unexpectedly?

As for letting the child “choose for himself,” that makes about as much sense as letting the child “choose for himself” whether he will eat properly, brush his teeth, receive medical care, go to school … you get the picture. As parents, we make decisions for our children’s benefit when they are too young to make these decisions for themselves. If we make decisions for their physical and social welfare, it is even more important that we make decisions for their spiritual welfare, since these decisions have eternal consequences.

Don’t forget prayer; it can soften hearts.
 
BarbG said:
I am amazed that the subject of infant Baptism comes up every now and then – my children are all in their 50’s and we had them baptized when they were about 3-4 weeks old – that seemed to be the tradition at that time.
I don’t know what your husband would think if “you” were in a situation like I found myself with my first child. It was a “breech” birth, and I’m sure in today’s time they could probably do more to save the child. At any rate, my fist child only lived a couple of minutes, and I was totally in a state of unbelief, but when the doctor cried out for oxygen for the baby, I CRIED out for a priest. I don’t think there’s anything more difficult than losing a child, but sometimes wonder how I would feel if that priest didn’t come immediately and baptize my daughter.
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Sorry for your loss. I may be wrong, but i have heard that in case of an emergency, any lay person can perform a baptism using the baptismal formula. I think I goes" I baptize you in the name of the Father, The Son…" That one.
 
monmouth15 said:
Hello,

I am a faithful catholic and go to church every Sunday. My Husband however is not catholic. We recently welcomed our first child into the world! What a blessing. We are however in a bit of a debate. My husband is not against us raising the child Catholic be he is very much against an infant babtism. He believes the child should be able to choose for himself. I am aware fo the church’s believe of original sin but do not fully agree with it myself. I would like to have a Christening for the child and also for my family. Again - my husband is not against the Catholic religion be he is very against an infant babtism. I do not know what to do??? Please help!
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So you are willing to leave your child totally subject to satan, with no access to Gods grace, until he/or she can decide what they want?
 
So you are saying I am SUBJECTING my child to evil? That is quite a statement. I do not believe that most of you out there actually think that God would subject MY child to Satan because he was not baptised yet. Nor do I believe that my child has sinned and therefore should repent for those sins. Jesus was not baptised until he was 30. And yes he was subjected to satan…and he stood up against him. It was his choice and his will to do so. For those who have lost children too young to be baptised - how can one possibly believe that they would not go to heaven. Surely there parents did not choose such a fate…therefore subjecting them to satan. They are the most innocent of all.
 
No, what we are saying is that you need to read the Catechism and make an appointment with your priest to discuss it with him.
 
monmouth, you are not talking about waiting until the child is 4 or 5 to be baptized. By the time the child is old enough to “decide for himself” he will be well past the age of reason. If not baptized he will not have the grace of the Holy Spirit infused with his baptism nor will he have access to the sacraments of Confession and Holy Communion which strengthen us every time we receive them. We are all subject to temptation and without the Sacraments you are making it much harder for your son to resist sin and to grow in holiness.

Most parishes also require children to at least be baptized before attending Religious Ed. (other then RCIC) It would be hard to raise him as a Catholic without his participating in RE. And at some point, if you are taking him to Mass he would notice that all the other kids his age are making First Communion, going up for Communion at Mass and getting Confirmed. He won’t be in true communion with the Church since he cannot fully participate. I just don’t see how it can be done.

Didn’t you and your husband cover all this in marriage prep? :confused:
 
From the Catechism of the Catholic Church:

1250 Born with a fallen human nature and tainted by original sin, children also have need of the new birth in Baptism to be freed from the power of darkness and brought into the realm of the freedom of the children of God, to which all men are called. The sheer gratuitousness of the grace of salvation is particularly manifest in infant Baptism. The Church and the parents would deny a child the priceless grace of becoming a child of God were they not to confer Baptism shortly after birth.

1251 Christian parents will recognize that this practice also accords with their role as nurturers of the life that God has entrusted to them.

1252 The practice of infant Baptism is an immemorial tradition of the Church. There is explicit testimony to this practice from the second century on, and it is quite possible that, from the beginning of the apostolic preaching, when whole “households” received baptism, infants may also have been baptized.
Nor do I believe that my child has sinned and therefore should repent for those sins … They are the most innocent of all.
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Children are innocent of personal sin, but we are all born with original sin (inherited from our first parents). I think a good analogy would be a baby who is born with some sort of illness — genetic, or something the child was exposed to during pregnancy, etc. It is not the child’s fault, but as good parents we do everything possible to apply whatever remedies are available. By baptizing infants, we do the same for our children spiritually, even though original sin is not their “fault.”

We do not really know what happens to children who die without Baptism. The Church has left the question open, and tells us that we should entrust them to the mercy of God, as we read in the Catechism:

1261 As regards children who have died without Baptism, the Church can only entrust them to the mercy of God, as she does in her funeral rites for them. Indeed, the great mercy of God who desires that all men should be saved, and Jesus’ tenderness toward children which caused him to say: “Let the children come to me, do not hinder them,” allow us to hope that there is a way of salvation for children who have died without Baptism. All the more urgent is the Church’s call not to prevent little children coming to Christ through the gift of holy Baptism.
 
Sometimes the truth is hard to accept, especially if it is something that is scary. Monmouth, you should have been taught about Baptism and its meaning and importance. . .and your husband should have been told when he agreed to raise your child Catholic that this mean with all the Catholic SACRAMENTS which are necessary. It sounds to me that you might have absorbed yourself a lot of your husband’s thinking on religious subjects, perhaps unconsciously. It is so easy to say, “we’re in love, we respect each other’s faiths, it will all work out” UNTIL we run into a road block where suddenly one partner says, “Hey, I didn’t know that THIS was part of the deal”. You may well be thinking that with him so adamantly against, you should just go along with him, and you’re looking to justify WHY you should do so. . .and getting probably a little miffed that people are NOT supporting you and especially peeved that some of them are even stating that this could be a real salvation issue for your child. What a worry this must be for you. I know it must be difficult not to immediately go into self defense mode --heaven only knows what your Catholic teaching was, after all, so this may be a real shock to you!

May I suggest that not only do you see your priest, but that you attend your parish RCIA classes as well? These are NOT ‘just for’ people converting; they are for any Catholic as well who wishes to know their faith better. You may also wish to either check out the section on Baptism in the Catechism of the Catholic Church online, or buy or borrow a copy; this is also very helpful. God bless you and your family, and please know that the salvation and the life of you, your husband, and your little one are very important to all of us.
 
monmouth15 said:
Hello, … I do not know what to do??? Please help!
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Baptize with or without your husband, ask him to support your child. Tell him his desire to raise the child with a desire to be baptized later is academic because this child will have already achieved baptism.

Then you and he can discuss with holding all medical care until the child is old enough to choose what care, which doctor, etc… Did that come off sounding stupid? Well maybe parenting is not a part time job.
 
This is the “Husband” and I’m just posting a THANK YOU to all for your opinions. Some were polite and some were extreme. I wonder how many of you left this country for years at a time to teach Christianity. I did. That’s all I did while I was there. I have never tried to convince my wife of anything (about religion) (cars, houses and football teams, well yes). My wife was looking for some open-minded suggestions and what she received was all the same “Catholic” answer said many different ways. She has gone to bed and will not be checking this message board again. She may check it, out of curiosity, but that is probably all.

P.S. She read this post before she retired.
 
monmouth15 (and husband):

It’s possible that you two may have more of an issue of whether or not to baptize your infant. Based on your husband’s answers, he doesn’t seem open at all to raising your child Catholic and the responsibilities a Catholic parent has to ensure that the child learns the faith and has access to the Sacraments. There may even be some control issues here…but this is only my observation…

Before your husband dismisses Catholic teaching, please have him study what the Church, from the beginning, believes in regards to infant baptism. Go to the home page of Catholic Answers, (www.catholic.com) where explanations on infant baptism and other teachings of the Church are readily available for examination.
 
Well, God bless and have a good evening, hubby monmouth and mrs.monmouth! 🙂

One thing to consider for both. . . if the ‘same Catholic answer’ is given by so many, it is because there is ONE TRUE ANSWER. And that was it.

Open-minded is okay when one is talking about something which has more than one answer. Like, which is your favorite Scripture verse? All of them are good, but I can say John 3:16 and somebody else can say Luke 20:42-44, and both are equally good answers.

But if there is only ONE answer, then offering anything other than that answer simply to seem ‘open minded’ would be an offense against truth.

I encourage Mr. Monmouth to go with his wife to talk to the priest, to read the catechism with them both, and if he doesn’t want to go to RCIA, to at least listen to what his wife has to say about what she learns there. Baptism, to us a sacrament, is not a ‘negotiable’ issue to us Catholics, and we’d be lying if we said that it was NOT all that important or that it wasn’t ‘worth’ arguing about because what is important is that the person ‘know’ when he is baptized, not the fact that he actually ‘is’ baptized. With respect, and with sadness, while I can certainly agree with Mr. Monmouth on many, many things, our positions on what Baptism is and what it does and what is necessary for a person’s receptions are just too far apart. There can be no compromise here.

I’m just very sorry that Mr. Monmouth never knew when he was going through premarriage instruction that Baptism for an infant is requisite for Catholics, so that he could have had his questions and concerns answered THEN.
 
monmouth15 said:
My wife was looking for some open-minded suggestions and what she received was all the same “Catholic” answer said many different ways.
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What were you expecting from a forum called Catholic Answers? In any case, an open-minded response is of no value to a close-minded inquisitor. People demanding an “open-minded” response are usually looking for an answer that confirms the opinion they already hold. The answers to your wife’s questions are explicitly spelled out in the Catechism of the Catholic Church. Anyone who answers otherwise here is not giving the Catholic answer.

It’s not a perfect analogy, but I wonder . . . are you waiting for your child to decide for itself whether to be vaccinated against disease?

JSA+
 
monmouth15 said:
So you are saying I am SUBJECTING my child to evil? That is quite a statement. I do not believe that most of you out there actually think that God would subject MY child to Satan because he was not baptised yet. Nor do I believe that my child has sinned and therefore should repent for those sins. Jesus was not baptised until he was 30. And yes he was subjected to satan…and he stood up against him. It was his choice and his will to do so. For those who have lost children too young to be baptised - how can one possibly believe that they would not go to heaven. Surely there parents did not choose such a fate…therefore subjecting them to satan. They are the most innocent of all.
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Yes, Original sin blocks God’s grace in the soul. We do not become adopted children of God until Baptism. The Holy Spirit does not dwell in us until Baptism. It leaves the soul subject to satan without any protection until Original Sin is removed in Baptism. After Baptism we are all still subject to temptation by satan, but have God’s grace in us, unless we commit personal mortal sin, to counter the temptation.
 
monmouth15 said:
. My husband is not against us raising the child Catholic be he is very much against an infant babtism. !
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Does you husband think that you should also hold off against vaccinating the child until the child can choose for themselves?

If one is willing to act on behalf of the child to protect against physical illness, why not spiritual illness?

That’s what Baptism does, it is a source of Grace. As a vaccine helps the body fight infection, Grace helps the soul fight against sin.
 
monmouth15 said:
This is the “Husband” and I’m just posting a THANK YOU to all for your opinions. Some were polite and some were extreme. I wonder how many of you left this country for years at a time to teach Christianity. I did. That’s all I did while I was there. I have never tried to convince my wife of anything (about religion) (cars, houses and football teams, well yes). My wife was looking for some open-minded suggestions and what she received was all the same “Catholic” answer said many different ways. She has gone to bed and will not be checking this message board again. She may check it, out of curiosity, but that is probably all.

P.S. She read this post before she retired.
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The Church has one teaching regarding infant baptism, and that’s the answer you are always going to get.
Don’t be so open minded that your brain falls out.
 
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