Baptism - Parish location question

[MelissaMae]

Hi Everyone -
Recently I had my first son in July and I have a question regarding where to have my child baptised. I know traditionally you would have this done in the parish you live in. I’m just wondering if you can have it done outside of your parish in a different church?

My reasoning is while I have been to church in the parish I live in, this is a new temporary neighborhood and unfortunately I feel no connection to this church. I live in a neighborhood where English is a second language for mostly everyone and I have a very hard time during mass even understanding the priest.

When I got married 2 years ago I was married in my old parish in a church I love and where I still like going to mass. Am I allowed to ask if I can have my son baptised there? My old church is in NY and I now live in NJ. In the future my husband and I will be moving back to NY to my old parish. As an FYI my old church is really only a 15 minute drive from where I live now.

Is this OK to ask my old priest? I know I can just ask him but I was wondering what everyone’s opinions is on this? Has anyone had a sacrament performed in a parish outside their own? As a piece of history I did get married in this old NY church while already living in NJ. I don’t want to be insulting to my current parish but I just miss and like my old church better.

 

[SMHW]

Hi Everyone -
Recently I had my first son in July and I have a question regarding where to have my child baptised. I know traditionally you would have this done in the parish you live in. I’m just wondering if you can have it done outside of your parish in a different church?

My reasoning is while I have been to church in the parish I live in, this is a new temporary neighborhood and unfortunately I feel no connection to this church. I live in a neighborhood where English is a second language for mostly everyone and I have a very hard time during mass even understanding the priest.

When I got married 2 years ago I was married in my old parish in a church I love and where I still like going to mass. Am I allowed to ask if I can have my son baptised there? My old church is in NY and I now live in NJ. In the future my husband and I will be moving back to NY to my old parish. As an FYI my old church is really only a 15 minute drive from where I live now.

Is this OK to ask my old priest? I know I can just ask him but I was wondering what everyone’s opinions is on this? Has anyone had a sacrament performed in a parish outside their own? As a piece of history I did get married in this old NY church while already living in NJ. I don’t want to be insulting to my current parish but I just miss and like my old church better.

Ask at the parish where you would like to have the baptism. You will be informed if there is a problem which requires you to do anything above and beyond the norm. I know that there are cases where both parishes will require you to take pre-baptism classes and the like.

But you won’t know until you ask.

 

[Pfaffenhoffen]

Hi Everyone -
Recently I had my first son in July and I have a question regarding where to have my child baptised. I know traditionally you would have this done in the parish you live in. I’m just wondering if you can have it done outside of your parish in a different church?

My reasoning is while I have been to church in the parish I live in, this is a new temporary neighborhood and unfortunately I feel no connection to this church. I live in a neighborhood where English is a second language for mostly everyone and I have a very hard time during mass even understanding the priest.

When I got married 2 years ago I was married in my old parish in a church I love and where I still like going to mass. Am I allowed to ask if I can have my son baptised there? My old church is in NY and I now live in NJ. In the future my husband and I will be moving back to NY to my old parish. As an FYI my old church is really only a 15 minute drive from where I live now.

Is this OK to ask my old priest? I know I can just ask him but I was wondering what everyone’s opinions is on this? Has anyone had a sacrament performed in a parish outside their own? As a piece of history I did get married in this old NY church while already living in NJ. I don’t want to be insulting to my current parish but I just miss and like my old church better.

You ask permission in your present parish and the priest will give it to you and you baptize in the Church of your preference. No problem.

 

[Matthew_Holford]

Hi Everyone -
Recently I had my first son in July and I have a question regarding where to have my child baptised. I know traditionally you would have this done in the parish you live in. I’m just wondering if you can have it done outside of your parish in a different church?

My reasoning is while I have been to church in the parish I live in, this is a new temporary neighborhood and unfortunately I feel no connection to this church. I live in a neighborhood where English is a second language for mostly everyone and I have a very hard time during mass even understanding the priest.

When I got married 2 years ago I was married in my old parish in a church I love and where I still like going to mass. Am I allowed to ask if I can have my son baptised there? My old church is in NY and I now live in NJ. In the future my husband and I will be moving back to NY to my old parish. As an FYI my old church is really only a 15 minute drive from where I live now.

Is this OK to ask my old priest? I know I can just ask him but I was wondering what everyone’s opinions is on this? Has anyone had a sacrament performed in a parish outside their own? As a piece of history I did get married in this old NY church while already living in NJ. I don’t want to be insulting to my current parish but I just miss and like my old church better.

Your child should be baptised in your proper parish church by your proper parish priest. However, it is not too difficult to arrange for baptism in another church and by another priest. The main consideration would probably be your reason. Our local cathedral won’t conduct baptisms unless it’s the proper parish of the one to be baptised. This is because people want baptisms there just because of the venue. The reasons you give seem very admirable. Ask at your current parish or the one where you want the baptism. I’m sure they’ll help arrange this for you.

 

[Catholic90]

As an FYI my old church is really only a 15 minute drive from where I live now.

If your old church is only 15 minutes from where you live, why don’t you continue attending there and join there?

You do not have to attend the closest parish to your home! You can attend and join anywhere! We have people who belong to our parish who drive for 45 minutes! There are many closer churches to their homes, but they prefer to drive.

 

[Matthew_Holford]

If your old church is only 15 minutes from where you live, why don’t you continue attending there and join there?

You do not have to attend the closest parish to your home! You can attend and join anywhere! We have people who belong to our parish who drive for 45 minutes! There are many closer churches to their homes, but they prefer to drive.

That would be an excellent reason to ask for the child to be baptised there. The family may choose to worship there and may even, as it is the system in the USA, register there. Nevertheless, a person’s proper parish is the one where they live. An infant should be baptised in the parents’ proper parish but the parents may request it happens elsewhere.

 

[marleelynn]

If your old church is only 15 minutes from where you live, why don’t you continue attending there and join there?

You do not have to attend the closest parish to your home! You can attend and join anywhere! We have people who belong to our parish who drive for 45 minutes! There are many closer churches to their homes, but they prefer to drive.

Im in the same situation as both quotes. the parish I am supposed to go (geographically) is about ten minutes away but doesn’t have kneelers and the couple times I’ve been there everyone, not just families, hold hands during the Our Father (I never liked that since growing up my family didn’t hold hands). The parish I go to is also about ten minutes away but about a mile further than the closer parish without kneelers.

now that it gets dark around 5 (I prefer the 5 but don’t like driving at night), on Sunday mornings I go to the parish I was raised in (about six miles away) since their first mass is 8am and usually done in 45 minutes rarely the full hour even though the last two Sundays it was an hour. my parish has a 7am quiet mass but too early for me. my parish has 830

 

[Matthew_Holford]

Im in the same situation as both quotes. the parish I am supposed to go (geographically) is about ten minutes away but doesn’t have kneelers and the couple times I’ve been there everyone, not just families, hold hands during the Our Father (I never liked that since growing up my family didn’t hold hands). The parish I go to is also about ten minutes away but about a mile further than the closer parish without kneelers.

now that it gets dark around 5 (I prefer the 5 but don’t like driving at night), on Sunday mornings I go to the parish I was raised in (about six miles away) since their first mass is 8am and usually done in 45 minutes rarely the full hour even though the last two Sundays it was an hour. my parish has a 7am quiet mass but too early for me. my parish has 830

With due respect I do not see how your position is similar. The OP was asking where to have an infant baptised. You’re talking about going to a church for worship. You are free to go to any Catholic church for Mass and other liturgies. You may choose, as is the practice in the USA, to register with a parish and make donations to that parish. The Church is more specific about where we should receive certain sacraments, e.g. baptism and matriomny.

 

[marleelynn]

With due respect I do not see how your position is similar. The OP was asking where to have an infant baptised. You’re talking about going to a church for worship. You are free to go to any Catholic church for Mass and other liturgies. You may choose, as is the practice in the USA, to register with a parish and make donations to that parish. The Church is more specific about where we should receive certain sacraments, e.g. baptism and matriomny.

I was explaining my situation about parishes.

 

[Joe_Kelley]

From Canon Law

Can. 857 §1. Apart from a case of necessity, the proper place of baptism is a church or oratory.
§2. As a rule an adult is to be baptized in his or her parish church and an infant in the parish church of the parents unless a just cause suggests otherwise.

I don’t know what constitutes Just Cause. I think it is rather liberally interpreted. You will have to ask the priest who you are asking to do the baptism.

Note that you and the godparents will probably be required to attend a session on Baptism before the Baptism; so get started early lining things up.

 

[jilly4ski]

With due respect I do not see how your position is similar. The OP was asking where to have an infant baptised. You’re talking about going to a church for worship. You are free to go to any Catholic church for Mass and other liturgies. You may choose, as is the practice in the USA, to register with a parish and make donations to that parish. The Church is more specific about where we should receive certain sacraments, e.g. baptism and matriomny.

However, it should be noted that the closest parish to one geographically is not necessarily ones"proper" parish. My parents go to the parish (and are registered) at the parish that is closest to them. However, when I was looking for the geographical lines for my own predicament (3 parishes equal distance) I checked out the lines for my parents, and their proper parish is actually much farther from them than the parish they attend. This happened because the parish they go to sits at the south end of its boundaries.

Also in the US, if you are registered at a parish they do not require you to get permission from your geographical parish.

 

[MelissaMae]

If your old church is only 15 minutes from where you live, why don’t you continue attending there and join there?

You do not have to attend the closest parish to your home! You can attend and join anywhere! We have people who belong to our parish who drive for 45 minutes! There are many closer churches to their homes, but they prefer to drive.

I do still attend I was just unsure if because it was a sacrament I would have to attend my geographical parish.

 

[MelissaMae]

Thank you very much for all of your responses!

I’m going to ask my old priest this weekend or next what his thoughts are on the situation. I’m hoping he’ll allow it. I’m a big fan of his and he even turned my husband (a lapsed Catholic) into someone who wants and likes to go to church now.

 

[Matthew_Holford]

However, it should be noted that the closest parish to one geographically is not necessarily ones"proper" parish. My parents go to the parish (and are registered) at the parish that is closest to them. However, when I was looking for the geographical lines for my own predicament (3 parishes equal distance) I checked out the lines for my parents, and their proper parish is actually much farther from them than the parish they attend. This happened because the parish they go to sits at the south end of its boundaries.

Also in the US, if you are registered at a parish they do not require you to get permission from your geographical parish.

I did not say that the closest parish was a person’s proper parish. I am aware of anomalies. My Mother lives much closer to the parish church of a neighbouring parish than she does to her own parish church.Perhaps there exists an indult that dispenses USA from this Canon Law requirement.

 

[Catholic90]

I did not say that the closest parish was a person’s proper parish. I am aware of anomalies. My Mother lives much closer to the parish church of a neighbouring parish than she does to her own parish church.Perhaps there exists an indult that dispenses USA from this Canon Law requirement.

I am not even aware what my “proper parish” is, if there even is one! Most of my Catholic neighbors attend a different closer parish. I attend the parish I do now because we were invited to attend by a friend 25 years ago! We started attending, and we absolutely LOVED it. Our kids were baptized there. Attended school there. Received all their sacraments of initiation there. Husband was buried there.

 

[Matthew_Holford]

I am not even aware what my “proper parish” is, if there even is one!

You will have one. Most people do unless they live where there’s no established Church hierarchy. I won’t bore you with the details of how your proper parish is determined.

Most of my Catholic neighbors attend a different closer parish. I attend the parish I do now because we were invited to attend by a friend 25 years ago! We started attending, and we absolutely LOVED it. Our kids were baptized there. Attended school there. Received all their sacraments of initiation there. Husband was buried there.

I’m not saying that we must or even should go to our proper parish. Nevertheless, we have one and its parish priest is the priest who the Church appoints with specific responsibility for us. We are supposed to receive certain sacraments in our proper parish. It is rare to find any difficulties in receiving those self same sacraments in another parish.

 

[Catholic90]

You will have one. Most people do unless they live where there’s no established Church hierarchy. I won’t bore you with the details of how your proper parish is determined.

I’m not saying that we must or even should go to our proper parish. Nevertheless, we have one and its parish priest is the priest who the Church appoints with specific responsibility for us. We are supposed to receive certain sacraments in our proper parish. It is rare to find any difficulties in receiving those self same sacraments in another parish.

Hmmm. Who knew? Oh, well. All my children received all their sacraments at the church we attend and have attended for over 20 years. I have friends who have attended this same parish for longer than I have and live even farther away than I do, so I I doubt this is their “proper parish” either! We are all happy here and will continue to attend here.

 

[Matthew_Holford]

Hmmm. Who knew?

I’m afraid I don’t understand what you mean by this question.

Oh, well. All my children received all their sacraments at the church we attend and have attended for over 20 years. I have friends who have attended this same parish for longer than I have and live even farther away than I do, so I I doubt this is their “proper parish” either! We are all happy here and will continue to attend here.

I am not saying, and have not said, that’s wrong. It happens a lot.

 

[Catholic90]

I’m afraid I don’t understand what you mean by this question.

I am not saying, and have not said, that’s wrong. It happens a lot.

It was not a question! It is an expression. It is sort of like, “Who would have thought that?”

Have a good night!

 

[jilly4ski]

I am not even aware what my “proper parish” is, if there even is one! Most of my Catholic neighbors attend a different closer parish. I attend the parish I do now because we were invited to attend by a friend 25 years ago! We started attending, and we absolutely LOVED it. Our kids were baptized there. Attended school there. Received all their sacraments of initiation there. Husband was buried there.

I wouldn’t worry about it. In my experiences dioceses make it very difficult to find out where the lines actually are. I only was able to find out mine because the diocese recently went through a re-org where many churches are being shut down and combined or placed into clusters. The map wasn’t even on the regular diocese website. So if you can’t find out what parish you are supposed to belong to, it is pretty hard to ask permission for sacraments. Where I got my last 2 children baptized they didn’t ask that I get permission from the “proper” parish, I was registered so the administered baptism. Even though I am sure we drove by several churches to get there.