Baptism: Proper sacramental preparation

[CyrilSebastian]

One Catholic church bulletin indicated that Baptism has Proper sacramental preparation three months in advance.
Some Catholics did not know about the three months preparation in advance.
Please explain.

 

[Jennifoo]

One Catholic church bulletin indicated that Baptism has Proper sacramental preparation three months in advance.
Some Catholics did not know about the three months preparation in advance.
Please explain.

That’s common procedure in my diocese. Each Sacrament has meaning and requires preparation, including for adults, so as to form each soul in Christ. For instance, those wanting to convert to Catholicism have to attend RCIA. I’m a convert, and I met one on one with the priest for several months, studying Scripture and the Catechism. I was required to memorize certain prayers, as well, before I was deemed ready for Baptism.

Is this somehow problematic for you?

 

[Ad_Orientem]

Three months is too long, unless the classes are held before the child is born. The Code of Canon Law of the Latin Church states:

Can. 867 §1. Parents are obliged to take care that infants are baptized in the first few weeks; as soon as possible after the birth or even before it, they are to go to the pastor to request the sacrament for their child and to be prepared properly for it.

 

[1ke]

One Catholic church bulletin indicated that Baptism has Proper sacramental preparation three months in advance.

Preparation is required by both adults and parents of children. The timeframe and method is up to the pastor of the parish. Sound like the pastor of that parish asks parents to inquire about 3 months before their child is born/the desire baptism for their child. That’s about right.

*Can. 851 The celebration of baptism must be prepared properly; consequently:

1/ an adult who intends to receive baptism is to be admitted to the catechumenate and is to be led insofar as possible through the various stages to sacramental initiation, according to the order of initiation adapted by the conference of bishops and the special norms issued by it;

2/ the parents of an infant to be baptized and those who are to undertake the function of sponsor are to be instructed properly on the meaning of this sacrament and the obligations attached to it. The pastor personally or through others is to take care that the parents are properly instructed through both pastoral advice and common prayer, bringing several families together and, where possible, visiting them.*

Some Catholics did not know about the three months preparation in advance.

Well it is in the bulletin so I am not sure what more the pastor can do. You’ve got 9 months to plan every other aspect of baby’s arrival, I am unclear why preparing for baptism would present a problem.

Please explain.

Explain what?

 

[jmcrae]

People sometimes get the idea from TV and movies that while you’re running away from the bad guys, you can rush over to the Rectory, wake up the priest in the middle of the night and have him marry you, baptize your child, and provide you with money and weapons to complete your escape.

In real life, priests expect people to plan ahead and enter into the most important days of their lives with sober forethought, including appropriate preparation classes.

 

[Tarpeian_Rock]

There’s a difference between “preparation” and “notice.” The most extensive Baptismal “preparation” program I’ve seen consisted of two evenings of 2 hours each. I hope no one is suggesting that it’s appropriate for expecting or new parents to attend classes for 3 months in order to prepare for their child’s Baptism. On the other hand, 90 days’ “notice” to the parish doesn’t seem so unreasonable.

 

[jmcrae]

There’s a difference between “preparation” and “notice.” The most extensive Baptismal “preparation” program I’ve seen consisted of two evenings of 2 hours each. I hope no one is suggesting that it’s appropriate for expecting or new parents to attend classes for 3 months in order to prepare for their child’s Baptism. On the other hand, 90 days’ “notice” to the parish doesn’t seem so unreasonable.

Same here. I assume the parish in question asks parents to complete a prep class that takes place three months prior to a scheduled Baptism date.

 

[Phemie]

Wish we had that kind of rule.

In my parish we advertise the preparation session about 2 weeks ahead of time and make a point of saying that expectant parents should attend because it’s easier before baby comes. We also make a point of saying that if you want to have your child baptized before a specific date you have to attend this particular preparation. For example I did preparation yesterday and we said “If you expect to have your child baptized before the end of January 2017” since we simply don’t have time with our work schedules to do prep again before the middle of January.

What usually happens though (with one notable exception) is that the only family that shows up is the one that waited until baby was 6 months old and then called to have baby baptized “next weekend”. Then within two weeks we get another request for baptism “next weekend” by another couple who doesn’t go to church and hadn’t seen the advertisement in the bulletin. Happened again yesterday.

The notable exception was the time that the three couples who showed up had never contacted us, two were still expecting, and all three had done preparation less than two years before for a previous child. The conversations were so different from those we normally have.

 

[jmcrae]

Wish we had that kind of rule.

In my parish we advertise the preparation session about 2 weeks ahead of time and make a point of saying that expectant parents should attend because it’s easier before baby comes. We also make a point of saying that if you want to have your child baptized before a specific date you have to attend this particular preparation. For example I did preparation yesterday and we said “If you expect to have your child baptized before the end of January 2017” since we simply don’t have time with our work schedules to do prep again before the middle of January.

What usually happens though (with one notable exception) is that the only family that shows up is the one that waited until baby was 6 months old and then called to have baby baptized “next weekend”. Then within two weeks we get another request for baptism “next weekend” by another couple who doesn’t go to church and hadn’t seen the advertisement in the bulletin. Happened again yesterday.

The notable exception was the time that the three couples who showed up had never contacted us, two were still expecting, and all three had done preparation less than two years before for a previous child. The conversations were so different from those we normally have.

Is there anyone in the Church office who screens the calls and makes sure the parents know how the system works before they get to the prep class? Or do they just show up at the class without calling ahead?

At our parish, they have to register for the class through the parish office, and the person who takes their call walks them through the process, and makes sure they understand that they aren’t having the child baptized “next weekend” but rather on the date and at the time chosen by the Deacon who does the Baptisms - typically at some point during the month following completion of the prep class, in our case.

There is also a contingency plan for emergency baptisms and for cases where it’s not physically possible for the family to be present at the Deacon’s recommended time, but we deal with those on a case by case basis.

 

[Kielbasi]

Well it is in the bulletin so I am not sure what more the pastor can do. You’ve got 9 months to plan every other aspect of baby’s arrival, I am unclear why preparing for baptism would present a problem.

I don’t know what else they can do either, but the facts are that not everyone reads the bulletin.

Baptism is a once in a lifetime event, even for the parents nowadays as a lot of folks only have 1 child nowadays.

Having a little bit of flexibility in these matters might be in order

 

[Phemie]

Is there anyone in the Church office who screens the calls and makes sure the parents know how the system works before they get to the prep class? Or do they just show up at the class without calling ahead?

At our parish, they have to register for the class through the parish office, and the person who takes their call walks them through the process, and makes sure they understand that they aren’t having the child baptized “next weekend” but rather on the date and at the time chosen by the Deacon who does the Baptisms - typically at some point during the month following completion of the prep class, in our case.

There is also a contingency plan for emergency baptisms and for cases where it’s not physically possible for the family to be present at the Deacon’s recommended time, but we deal with those on a case by case basis.

There’s no one employed at the parish. Either Father gets the original call or a volunteer does and they both refer them to me. They call me and I explain the procedure but almost invariably when they call the baby is already several months old and they expect Baptism last week so to speak. I’m the one who has to break it to them that it won’t be happening this weekend. I work shift work and the other person doing prep is a mom with 2 kids involved in everything so we have to coordinate ourselves and usually shift working parents. Not easy.

But to tell you how unreasonable some people are, I had one woman call me two weeks ago because her bother is coming home for Christmas and expects to have his two “infants”, his 10 year old step-daughter and his wife baptized when they’re here.

I mentioned that the babies could be baptized if the parents prepared in their own parish and came with a letter stating they had been and that their pastor gave his permission. Step-daughter and wife, OTOH, was a whole different kettle of fish (I didn’t quite use those words). She started yelling at me and threatening “Fine, then, I can take them to the Anglican Church and they’ll baptize them no problem.” I had to bite my tongue to not say “Fill your boots, Honey.” Then it turns out that they’ll only be here for a few days over Christmas and she couldn’t understand why there might be a problem with 4 baptisms on Christmas morning.

Father later told me that he’d spoken to this man early in the summer and had determined that they didn’t attend church in their own parish. OK, so an adult who doesn’t attend church at all and has had no preparation expects to be baptized at Christmas outside her parish and diocese of residence??? I made it clear to Father that I don’t prepare adults for Baptism and that we wouldn’t have time to deal with preparation when they arrive on Dec. 20.

 

[jmcrae]

There’s no one employed at the parish. Either Father gets the original call or a volunteer does and they both refer them to me. They call me and I explain the procedure but almost invariably when they call the baby is already several months old and they expect Baptism last week so to speak. I’m the one who has to break it to them that it won’t be happening this weekend. I work shift work and the other person doing prep is a mom with 2 kids involved in everything so we have to coordinate ourselves and usually shift working parents. Not easy.

But to tell you how unreasonable some people are, I had one woman call me two weeks ago because her bother is coming home for Christmas and expects to have his two “infants”, his 10 year old step-daughter and his wife baptized when they’re here.

I mentioned that the babies could be baptized if the parents prepared in their own parish and came with a letter stating they had been and that their pastor gave his permission. Step-daughter and wife, OTOH, was a whole different kettle of fish (I didn’t quite use those words). She started yelling at me and threatening “Fine, then, I can take them to the Anglican Church and they’ll baptize them no problem.” I had to bite my tongue to not say “Fill your boots, Honey.” Then it turns out that they’ll only be here for a few days over Christmas and she couldn’t understand why there might be a problem with 4 baptisms on Christmas morning.

Father later told me that he’d spoken to this man early in the summer and had determined that they didn’t attend church in their own parish. OK, so an adult who doesn’t attend church at all and has had no preparation expects to be baptized at Christmas outside her parish and diocese of residence??? I made it clear to Father that I don’t prepare adults for Baptism and that we wouldn’t have time to deal with preparation when they arrive on Dec. 20.

It sounds like you’ve got a tough situation!

Have you thought of setting up a schedule so that you can just say, prep happens on this date, to be prepared for Baptism on such and such a date? It might make things easier in the long run?

 

[Don_Ruggero]

Three months is too long, unless the classes are held before the child is born. The Code of Canon Law of the Latin Church states:

Can. 867 §1. Parents are obliged to take care that infants are baptized in the first few weeks; as soon as possible after the birth or even before it, they are to go to the pastor to request the sacrament for their child and to be prepared properly for it.

Much depends upon the parish.

I have been in parishes that were small enough, we could make accommodations later in the cycle. Whether we chose to do so is another matter.

On the other hand, I have been in other parishes that advise parents that they need three months (or even more) in order to meet all the requirement, including scheduling and attending the class(es) – which could fill up to capacity very early on – and that both they AND the godparents had to complete all the prerequisites beyond the pre-baptismal classes. If this was not done, the baptism was deferred. When the prerequisites were fulfilled, they could proceed to choose an available date – which also could be several weeks in the future, depending upon how many baptisms we were dealing with at a given moment…

 

[Phemie]

It sounds like you’ve got a tough situation!

Have you thought of setting up a schedule so that you can just say, prep happens on this date, to be prepared for Baptism on such and such a date? It might make things easier in the long run?

We have tried that but it’s difficult because both Tracey’s and my work schedule can change considerably over the course of a month, not to mention her husband’s irregular work/on-call hours and her daughters’ extra-curricular activities.