Baptism, Yes. Marriage, No

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If a Protestant baptism (if conducted porperly) is recognized by the Catholic church, why not a Protestant marriage?

I am a “cradle” Catholic. My wife converted through RCIA. Do we have to marry in the Church?

Is this a mortal sin? We married innocently. I had drifted away, and did not sin intentionally with any complete knowledge of a sin.
 
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KJames:
If a Protestant baptism (if conducted porperly) is recognized by the Catholic church, why not a Protestant marriage?

I am a “cradle” Catholic. My wife converted through RCIA. Do we have to marry in the Church?

Is this a mortal sin? We married innocently. I had drifted away, and did not sin intentionally with any complete knowledge of a sin.
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The Church does recognize Protestant marriages as valid provided that neither party is Catholic or that the Catholic party has the appropriate dispensation from canonical form. Because you are Catholic and never left the Church through a formal act you are bound by canon law to have your marriage witnessed by a bishop, priest or deacon in a church. The fact that you are Catholic and, apparently, married in a non-Catholic ceremony means that your marriage is invalid (lack of form). In order to receive the sacraments your marriage must be convalidated (blessed) by the Church. If neither of you had been married before this is a fairly simple process. If either has a prior marriage then the annulment process must be used to determine if that part is free to enter into a marriage.

Since mortal sin requires knowledge and you apparently lacked that knowledge you are probably not in mortal sin (unless you resume marital relations after reading this).

Deacon Ed
 
Thank you and Bless you, Deacon. Forgive me, I’m really trying to come to terms with this and understand. I am in real pain.

A respondent in the Ask An Apologist forum replied to a question on mortal sin:

"One of the requirements for a sin to be mortal is that it be grave matter. If you believe that forgetting to say your morning prayers is a mortal sin, then you have a problem with impaired judgment. You are not able to always distinguish between grave and light matter. We call this scrupulosity.

“For a sin to be mortal, the act must be grave in matter—objectively evil. One has to know that it is evil. And one must freely choose it. If any one of these requirements is absent, the act is not mortally sinful.”

The marriage is a grave matter, but I (we) were not intending to be evil.

Is my wife in mortal sin? Just me?
 
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KJames:
The marriage is a grave matter, but I (we) were not intending to be evil.

Is my wife in mortal sin? Just me?
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As Deacon Ed mentioned, unless you knew that getting married outside the church was a sin, you are not held accountable. The problem is, now you know it is a sin, so what are you going to do now?

The proper thing to do would be to abstain from marital relations until your marriage has been properly blessed. If neither of you were married before, this can be a very short time. If either of you had a previous marriage, you will have to go through the annulment process which can take a long time.

Consult a priest ASAP and he can tell you what is needed and how long it will take.

Since you said you were/are Catholic, if you want to receive the sacraments while you are waiting for this process to complete, you need to go to confession. Confess this, even though it might not be a mortal sin, why take the chance. Also confess anything else you may have done. Then as long as you are not having marital relations you can partake of the sacraments.
 
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KJames:
Thank you and Bless you, Deacon. Forgive me, I’m really trying to come to terms with this and understand. I am in real pain.

A respondent in the Ask An Apologist forum replied to a question on mortal sin:

"One of the requirements for a sin to be mortal is that it be grave matter. If you believe that forgetting to say your morning prayers is a mortal sin, then you have a problem with impaired judgment. You are not able to always distinguish between grave and light matter. We call this scrupulosity.

“For a sin to be mortal, the act must be grave in matter—objectively evil. One has to know that it is evil. And one must freely choose it. If any one of these requirements is absent, the act is not mortally sinful.”

The marriage is a grave matter, but I (we) were not intending to be evil.

Is my wife in mortal sin? Just me?
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Let me provide a quick overview of moral theology here. We deal with two levels, objective and subjective morality. On an objective level living together as husband and wife without being validly married is mortally sinful (I’m referring to marital relations). On a subjective level, the fact that you *thought *you were married eliminated any guilt that might be incurred from this objectively sinful act. Since your wife still does not know that the marriage is invalid, she is not guilty of sin. When, however, she becomes aware of this (and the RCIA process should make her aware if it’s doing its function) she will then no longer have the excuse of ignorance.

Thus, my recommendations are:
  1. See a priest or deacon about getting your marriage convalidated (blessed).
  2. See a priest about confession (this is a sticky issue since, as long as you live as man and wife in an invalid marriage the sacrament of reconciliation is not accessible to you – one of the requirements is to avoid the occasion of sin and your living together provides that occasion).
As I said, if neither of you had been married before you can have the marriage convalidated with relative ease. Should your wife not wish to participate in this (which I can’t see since she is going through the RCIA process) there is another way this can be addressed. Assuming you were both free to enter into this marriage it can be sanated by the bishop of your diocese. This will make the marriage valid by removing the impediment of no dispensation from canonical form. Again, a priest or deacon familiar with the canons regarding marriage can help you to understand this option, if it is necessary.

If you wish to discuss this privately, you may send me a PM and we can follow up that way.

Deacon Ed
 
Deacon, I know what I need to do.

Thank you.

Pray for me in the interim.
 
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KJames:
If a Protestant baptism (if conducted porperly) is recognized by the Catholic church, why not a Protestant marriage?

I am a “cradle” Catholic. My wife converted through RCIA. Do we have to marry in the Church?

Is this a mortal sin? We married innocently. I had drifted away, and did not sin intentionally with any complete knowledge of a sin.
Click to expand...
The Catholic Church recognizes as valid Marriage entered into freely by two Protestants who are capable and free to enter Marriage. As well as a Catholic and a Protestant Marriage as valid if entered into freely with the necessary permission/dispensation of the Bishop according to Canon Law.
 
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