Baptist church

  • Thread starter Thread starter Roblox84
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
R

Roblox84

Guest
I am Catholic and have been going to a baptist church with my girlfriend for some time. We mostly go to her church but sometimes we go to my church also. We agree on many things, although I believe that you need the church to fully understand the bible and most protestants don’t. I previously had no problem with the baptist church because the pastors would preech things that would most likely bring the people closer to God. The pastors bible translations were somewhat skewed because he would pretty much give his opinion on what the passage might have meant, but his translations were never to lead the people away from Christ. I have been going there for about 2 years and I have been noticing the pastor would talk down on other religions, not much, but enough for me to notice. For example, he would say something of the matter that Catholics don’t believe something the way it was meant in the bible and the way they(baptists) do it. Now, I have been going to a Catholic church and I have never heard them talk down on any religion and they actually embrace the protestant as the “seperated bretheren”, so I was just wondering if they do that at protestant chruches because they are trying to hide something and so that people will remain anti-catholic as so not to loose attendance or is it in their mission statement of the church. I am worried about this because we plan on marrying and she doesn’t want to raise the kids Catholic. I had no problem with that but now i’m not sure because I could only think that the baptists will teach our kids from a yound age how to hate Catholics and that their way is the only right way. Also, I don’t want them to be taught anything that is contradicting to the bible. Any help from a Catholic or Baptist that would ease my mind would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.
 
hey Rob ~

Baptists can certainly tend to be very, very anti-Catholic. often in unkind and judgemental ways.

Protestants do tend to see Catholics as astray, wayward, and even as non-Christians. somtimes this is articulated in Protestant churches, sometimes not.

if you would like your children to remain friendly towards the CC, it would be best to raise them in the CC.

if your girl friend is a Baptist with serious concerns about the CC, i don’t see how the marriage would be a happy one… and at teh least it would be difficult to raise your kids as Catholics if your wife is refusing, or trying to prevent that. it’s truly best to be equally yoked with your spouse, theologically and ecclesiastically.
 
How can you say you are Catholic and yet say that is doesn’t matter if your future children would be raised Catholic? I think you need to get off the fence. If you believe that the Catholic Church was founded by Christ then shouldn’t your children be raised in the faith that He established?
Will your future wife let your children be baptized as infants or will they have to wait until they are adults and “accept Christ as their personal Savior?”
You need to evangelize your future wife. If you love her then give her the greatest gift you can, the One True Faith.
 
Well I wouldn’t wait for them to find God as adults, I would make sure that they would be taught and embrace God from childhood like my parents did for me. But then when they get older they would be able to determine if they want to stay in that religion or become Catholic but this is why I was wondering if they will just teach anti-catholic doctrine every Sunday which would prevent my children from making a good decision. She doesn’t mind if the kids would be baptised in the Catholic church but I wouldn’t want that only for them to go to a Baptist church.
 
Rob, i don’t think that would work.

yes, they will likely hear anti-Catholic sermons and lectures in a Baptist church. if they go to Mass they will learn that according to Catholics the CC is the One True Church founded by Christ, and all other churches are apostate.

at the very least they will be very, very confused.

these are the kind of issues you do need to talk about with your gf before marriage. i do not suggest marrying a woman with whom you have so many theological and practical differences. she belongs to a denomination with very negative views of the CC. you are a Catholic hoping to raise your kids to be open-minded, and hopefully chose the CC as adults.

it will be very, very tough. on you, her, and the kids. you will likely have a torn home, or will eventually have to settle for either one church, or the other.
Roblox84 said:
Well I wouldn’t wait for them to find God as adults, I would make sure that they would be taught and embrace God from childhood like my parents did for me. But then when they get older they would be able to determine if they want to stay in that religion or become Catholic but this is why I was wondering if they will just teach anti-catholic doctrine every Sunday which would prevent my children from making a good decision. She doesn’t mind if the kids would be baptised in the Catholic church but I wouldn’t want that only for them to go to a Baptist church.
Click to expand...
 
Hmm… Well, maybe you can try it this way.

Why not sit your girlfriend down and have a talk with her about each others’ faiths? You can tell why you are in love with your faith and she can tell you about hers. You should start slow on this and by that I mean that you should start by just telling her about the beautiful history of the Church and all the good it has done. Or something else you wish.

Just try to be gentle. She might not agree with you if she has been hearing all that anti-catholic stuff for so long.
 
We have talked many, many times about the topic. And the one thing that I alway’s bring up, which I can’t stand is the giving of 10 percent to the church. She alway’s claims that it is in the bible, but I haven’t talked to her about any other issues or bible passages that prove that her pastor is wrong. So I will have to try and sit down with her again and hopefully it won’t get too heated.
 
Roblox84 said:
We have talked many, many times about the topic. And the one thing that I alway’s bring up, which I can’t stand is the giving of 10 percent to the church. She alway’s claims that it is in the bible, but I haven’t talked to her about any other issues or bible passages that prove that her pastor is wrong. So I will have to try and sit down with her again and hopefully it won’t get too heated.
Click to expand...
You must be careful. Many relationships like these have ended because of these kinds of discussions. You shouldn’t focus on the differences but rather on what brings the faiths together which is Chirst. Just show your deep love for God and start from there. Is there anything about the Catholic faith that really attracts her to it?
 
I have to agree with a previous post that suggests that you act more like a Catholic. This is VERY personal, about the person you want to marry. I can’t say anything about that, but it seems that it would be better for two people, any two people who want to marry, should be like-minded about their faith.

“Mixed” marriages are OK in the Church, but I think there is no reason for you to be less committed about your Catholic faith than any Protestant is, Baptist or whatever.

It’s your life, but I suggest you stop attending Baptist church. It’s NOT OK, it’s not as good as going to Mass on Sunday, not anywhere near the same thing. I say this not because I hate anybody, rather it is Christian love that says, Brother, what a treasure we have in the Catholic Church.
 
It almost ended but I don’t want something like this to end it for good this time. Honestly, I don’t think she knows anything about the Catholic faith apart from the slander they taught her at her church. I bring her to my mass once in a while but i’m not sure that will be enough for her to learn about my faith. I have to admit that I myself are a pretty ****** Catholic and have done things that the church should have probably shunned me for, but I try my best at life. There wouldn’t be many things that I know about Catholicism that I could teach her apart from just taking her to a priest or through informative sources online which I have been trying to study daily. I just taught that if she is more of a devout baptist then at least our kids would have a chance at being closer to God rather then me trying to teach the kids about something that I don’t know much about. But then again, maybe that will come with age or when I am actually a father and it will be an instinct to teach them about my faith.
 
Roblox84 said:
We have talked many, many times about the topic. And the one thing that I alway’s bring up, which I can’t stand is the giving of 10 percent to the church. She alway’s claims that it is in the bible, but I haven’t talked to her about any other issues or bible passages that prove that her pastor is wrong. So I will have to try and sit down with her again and hopefully it won’t get too heated.
Click to expand...
It is in the Bible, but it’s in the Old Testament. Catholics certainly believe in giving, but there aren’t hard and fast rules about it like that. You might want to mention the story in the Gospels about the widow’s mites in this context.

I don’t have any advice about what to do about your gf. I would try to get her to come to Mass with you more often (don’t forget, you should be there every Sunday–even if you go to the Baptist church too!), and pray about it.
 
Roblox84 said:
It almost ended but I don’t want something like this to end it for good this time. Honestly, I don’t think she knows anything about the Catholic faith apart from the slander they taught her at her church. I bring her to my mass once in a while but i’m not sure that will be enough for her to learn about my faith. I have to admit that I myself are a pretty ****** Catholic and have done things that the church should have probably shunned me for, but I try my best at life. There wouldn’t be many things that I know about Catholicism that I could teach her apart from just taking her to a priest or through informative sources online which I have been trying to study daily. I just taught that if she is more of a devout baptist then at least our kids would have a chance at being closer to God rather then me trying to teach the kids about something that I don’t know much about. But then again, maybe that will come with age or when I am actually a father and it will be an instinct to teach them about my faith.
Click to expand...
You need to remember that once you get married, YOU will the spiritual leader in your home. You have an obligation to teach your future children the Beautiful Catholic Faith. All I can say is just pray to God and leave it in his hands, but at the same time try your best to live the Catholic Faith in your life so that your girlfriend will be able to see the real truth through you. I know you can lead her to Chirst. Don’t give up, God is with you always.
 
Art321 said:
You must be careful. Many relationships like these have ended because of these kinds of discussions. You shouldn’t focus on the differences but rather on what brings the faiths together which is Chirst. Just show your deep love for God and start from there. Is there anything about the Catholic faith that really attracts her to it?
Click to expand...
The one thing she did say is that she doesn’t disagree with the teachings at my mass. But the one thing that is that she doesn’t like is the whole ritualistic function of mass, she much prefers her church were the pastor comes in and say’s “I was going to preach about this topic but the holy spirit blew another topic my way and told me I should preach this instead”. She thinks its way more personal then at a Catholic church, so it will definately be a hard time overcoming this. But I will def. be praying hard about it.
 
Roblox84 said:
The one thing she did say is that she doesn’t disagree with the teachings at my mass. But the one thing that is that she doesn’t like is the whole ritualistic function of mass, she much prefers her church were the pastor comes in and say’s “I was going to preach about this topic but the holy spirit blew another topic my way and told me I should preach this instead”. She thinks its way more personal then at a Catholic church, so it will definately be a hard time overcoming this. But I will def. be praying hard about it.
Click to expand...
Best of luck!
 
Roblox84 said:
I am Catholic and have been going to a baptist church with my girlfriend for some time. We mostly go to her church but sometimes we go to my church also. We agree on many things, although I believe that you need the church to fully understand the bible and most protestants don’t. I previously had no problem with the baptist church because the pastors would preech things that would most likely bring the people closer to God. The pastors bible translations were somewhat skewed because he would pretty much give his opinion on what the passage might have meant, but his translations were never to lead the people away from Christ. I have been going there for about 2 years and I have been noticing the pastor would talk down on other religions, not much, but enough for me to notice. For example, he would say something of the matter that Catholics don’t believe something the way it was meant in the bible and the way they(baptists) do it. Now, I have been going to a Catholic church and I have never heard them talk down on any religion and they actually embrace the protestant as the “seperated bretheren”, so I was just wondering if they do that at protestant chruches because they are trying to hide something and so that people will remain anti-catholic as so not to loose attendance or is it in their mission statement of the church. I am worried about this because we plan on marrying and she doesn’t want to raise the kids Catholic. I had no problem with that but now i’m not sure because I could only think that the baptists will teach our kids from a yound age how to hate Catholics and that their way is the only right way. Also, I don’t want them to be taught anything that is contradicting to the bible. Any help from a Catholic or Baptist that would ease my mind would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.
Click to expand...
Having been there myself at one point in my life, I can tell you that it will be difficult to work things out, particularly if you have strong feelings now. Do what you want, but don’t be surprised.
 
Roblox84,
Ok, I think I see some of the problem here.
It sounds like you don’t know a lot of what the Catholic Church teaches, even though you’re Catholic.
So here’s what I would do if I were you, starting tomorrow.
Go to a local Catholic bookstore and get the United States Catholic Catechism for Adults. It’s a big red book. Read it asap 🙂 It’s easy to follow and will give you what you need to know about the Catholic Church, all the basic stuff.
Code: 
Here's some other stuff you need to be aware of as a Catholic considering marrying a non Catholic. 
1- You, being a Catholic male, are supposed to be the spiritual head of the family, meaning it's your responsibility to spiritually guide your wife in the Catholic faith, and raise your kids Catholic. 
2- You won't be able to baptize your future children Catholic unless both you and your wife promise that you will do all in your power to raise those children in the Catholic faith, without that, it's very possible that your request to have the children baptized Catholic will be denied. 
3- Your marriage will be very hard on both you, your future wife, and any future children. Let me explain: You will be arguing about faith a lot, because of what she's been taught and all of her and her churches misconceptions, and because of that, any children you have will most likely be highly confused, and could reject God all together. I've heard of this happening A LOT on this forum with other couples in your situation. I'm 'kind of' in your situation now with me being Catholic and my husband non Catholic, however he's not a believer at all.. but even the two of us are having an extremely hard time. 
4- Being a Catholic, you should be attending Mass every Sunday, if you haven't been you need to go to Confession as this is a mortal sin. God loves you so much and wants you in His presence :)
5- You being a Catholic, need to marry in the Catholic Church if you're going to marry her, or you're not having the Sacrament, only a civil marriage, and your marriage, according to the Church wouldn't be considered 'valid', until you do it before a priest.
Take heart though, it sounds like you are confused, and just need some instruction 🙂
Start simple, go get the book above, read it, maybe even have your gf read it (it may just lead her to the Catholic Church), then go to Confession, and also speak with your priest about all of this, he’ll help you get through it in the easiest way possible 🙂
If you need anyone to talk to feel free to talk to me, and I’m sure there are others here that would help you out as well, but make sure you speak with your priest about all of this also.

edit-to correct spelling
 
Roblox84 said:
I am Catholic and have been going to a baptist church with my girlfriend for some time. We mostly go to her church but sometimes we go to my church also. We agree on many things, although I believe that you need the church to fully understand the bible and most protestants don’t. I previously had no problem with the baptist church because the pastors would preech things that would most likely bring the people closer to God. The pastors bible translations were somewhat skewed because he would pretty much give his opinion on what the passage might have meant, but his translations were never to lead the people away from Christ. I have been going there for about 2 years and I have been noticing the pastor would talk down on other religions, not much, but enough for me to notice. For example, he would say something of the matter that Catholics don’t believe something the way it was meant in the bible and the way they(baptists) do it. Now, I have been going to a Catholic church and I have never heard them talk down on any religion and they actually embrace the protestant as the “seperated bretheren”, so I was just wondering if they do that at protestant chruches because they are trying to hide something and so that people will remain anti-catholic as so not to loose attendance or is it in their mission statement of the church. I am worried about this because we plan on marrying and she doesn’t want to raise the kids Catholic. I had no problem with that but now i’m not sure because I could only think that the baptists will teach our kids from a yound age how to hate Catholics and that their way is the only right way. Also, I don’t want them to be taught anything that is contradicting to the bible. Any help from a Catholic or Baptist that would ease my mind would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.
Click to expand...
Rob,

I was a Baptist (SBC) when I met my wife (Catholic). I am now an Anglican Priest. Was a Baptist minister (preacher). I have known my wife for 24 years with 20 years married.
We have 5 children. All baptized in the Catholic Church and 2 confirmed Catholic.

The problem I see is a lack of mutual respect of each others faith. I was like your Baptist Girlfriend. Baptist believe their way is the only way. Other protestants are wrong and Catholic are very wrong. Decieved, clueless etc. Learned this at seminary. Constantine changed/destroyed the Church etc…all the old canards.

Your girlfriend’s pastor, many same ideas. And he has passed them on to her. If your girlfriend and her parents are committed baptists, they are looking for your conversion or salvation. Your baptism and confirmation are not valid and since you did not come to Christ through the process Baptist approve of, you are not saved. Baptism does not save you, your profession of faith prior to baptism saves you.

When children arrive, the entire relationship changes. You will want them baptized and raised Catholic, so will the Church prior to baptism. Your wife will want them raised Baptist. And this teach them both and let them decide…why so flippant with their soul? My 5 kids, we raise them and teach them and pray they don’t have a chance and are captive to the love of Christ. For a period of time we taught both protestant and catholic beliefs and theology. Guess what? We had confused and angry kids. I prayed about it and broke out the catholic catechism and have not looked back.

You need to first decide if your Catholic faith is true and geninue. Then have a heart to heart with your girlfriend. I appears you are doing all the giving. If she wants the relationship to work and the upcoming marriage. RCIA. She may not join, but she should respect you enough to learn about your faith from you and the Church. Not her Baptist preacher and friends. My wedding gift from Fr. Michael (who married us in the Catholic Church) was the Catechism. At the time I did not agree with much of catholicism. But I respected and loved my wife enough to learn about her faith from the source. Her Church.
She learned about mine. She is happier I am now an Anglican.

May not be what you want to hear. But my friend you are on a dangerous path that will lead to trouble, unless you and your wife are on the same page in your faith and ideas on teaching your potential future children. Think of your girlfriend, future kid and yourself carefully before continuing.

Blessings,

Fr.Mark
 
hi rob. honestly, i wouldnt marry her. first there is the differences in the faith. it will hurt your marriage. trust me. i am a former baptist, and my ex wife was a mennonite. very little difference in doctrine, just the mennonites are more ariminian and the baptist tend to be more calvinist. if those two dont mix, just think what would happen if you try to mix Catholocism with the baptist faith. second. why is she opposed to the children being raised Catholic, or at the very least be allowed to chatechised. is she harboring some hidden feelings against your Catholic faith? may be a good question to ask. finding out after the marriage is a recipe for disaster. it sure wouldnt hurt to get some good counselling before taking such a huge step. peace:)
 
Third_Day said:
How can you say you are Catholic and yet say that is doesn’t matter if your future children would be raised Catholic? I think you need to get off the fence. If you believe that the Catholic Church was founded by Christ then shouldn’t your children be raised in the faith that He established?
Will your future wife let your children be baptized as infants or will they have to wait until they are adults and “accept Christ as their personal Savior?”
You need to evangelize your future wife. If you love her then give her the greatest gift you can, the One True Faith.
Click to expand...
I agree 100%. Don’t ever give up your faith.

Matt
 
I see this more from the Baptist prespective. One of the previous catholic posters has it right, the man is the spiritual head of the home. True, but in practice in todays society the woman holds all the cards. You sir are making a huge mistake trying to make this relationship work. Not that I care mind you but you and the lovely lady are miles apart. Based on what you are saying and I admire your honesty by the way neither of you intend to budge. Put kids and family pressures into the mix (grandparents and so forth) and you will have one unhappy marrage and family life.

Don’t underestimate how big of a deal this will become for you two. In the end, your proposed wife will win this battle. You will be paying child support, she will raise the kids outside of the catholic church, except for the once a month you get them for visitation. No one will be on speaking terms. Based on your statements, your proposed wife is considerably stronger in her faith than you are, not trying to insult you, just being honest. There is no simple 1, 2, 3 sit down with her and hash this out. The gap between you and her is very large.

Having said all this, good luck.
Jon
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top