Baptist girl, catholic guy?

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Hi I was catholic my whole life until I left the catholic church to become a Baptist 2 yrs ago, I dated a few christian guys but it seemed to never work out and my soon to be new bf is catholic and im Baptist (southern baptist) I love my church and im not willing to go back and hes not leaving catholicism either, we plan to alternate churches every other week my mother is a devout catholic as all my family is catholic on both sides a few are not practicing like my dad, my question is can a Southern Baptist and my catholic bf workout? So far it hasnt been a issue we have a ton in common and can talk for hrs everyday, I couldnt help liking him we are just drawn to each other 🙂 hes 26 and im 24, thank you 🙂
 
Godsprincess24 said:
Hi I was catholic my whole life until I left the catholic church to become a Baptist 2 yrs ago, I dated a few christian guys but it seemed to never work out and my soon to be new bf is catholic and im Baptist (southern baptist) I love my church and im not willing to go back and hes not leaving catholicism either, we plan to alternate churches every other week my mother is a devout catholic as all my family is catholic on both sides a few are not practicing like my dad, my question is can a Southern Baptist and my catholic bf workout? So far it hasnt been a issue we have a ton in common and can talk for hrs everyday, I couldnt help liking him we are just drawn to each other 🙂 hes 26 and im 24, thank you 🙂
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I don’t see why not, it usually depends on how narrow minded the families are as the relationship begins to involve both families, children come into the picture, family gatherings and so forth. God Bless, prayers are with you all. 😉
 
Godsprincess24 said:
Hi I was catholic my whole life until I left the catholic church to become a Baptist 2 yrs ago, I dated a few christian guys but it seemed to never work out and my soon to be new bf is catholic and im Baptist (southern baptist) I love my church and im not willing to go back and hes not leaving catholicism either, we plan to alternate churches every other week my mother is a devout catholic as all my family is catholic on both sides a few are not practicing like my dad, my question is can a Southern Baptist and my catholic bf workout? So far it hasnt been a issue we have a ton in common and can talk for hrs everyday, I couldnt help liking him we are just drawn to each other 🙂 hes 26 and im 24, thank you 🙂
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Princess, why did you leave the Catholic Church? Your answer could impact my answer on the two of you …
 
I left because I didnt feel connected with God it felt too much a routine with me
 
Also i wanted a relationship with God not just a routine I was going through the motions as catholic
 
we plan to alternate churches every other week my mother is a devout catholic as all my family is catholic on both sides a few are not practicing like my dad,
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In these situations Mom will get her way in regards to faith, 🙂 dad who is not practicing won’t have much influence on the practicing.

I also don’t think the alternating idea is conducive to the conviction of …
I love my church and im not willing to go back
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Some things to think about.
 
Im willing to respect his catholic faith and he can respect mine, im just worried if we will butt heads 😦
 
Godsprincess24 said:
Im willing to respect his catholic faith and he can respect mine, im just worried if we will butt heads 😦
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How you two get along and start off down the path of love and Christianity, I have no doubt has sincere intentions, but at some point this will be impacted by the families. What do you think you will butt heads about?
 
Godsprincess24 said:
Im willing to respect his catholic faith and he can respect mine, im just worried if we will butt heads 😦
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Usually, the biggest conflict will come as to how the kids will be raised, especially if both spouses are devout in their faith.

My younger sister is a lifelong Presbyterian and married a Catholic man. They have two kids and their marriage seems fine for the most part, but I think part of that is due to the fact that she is more devout than he is and he doesn’t mind her going to the Presbyterian church and taking the kids with her.

He rarely attends anywhere, but when he does, he goes to Catholic Mass. Occasionally he’ll make a cameo appearance with my sister and the kids at the Presbyterian church but for the most part he is not religious and doesn’t attend anywhere.

Is that an ideal situation? No. but it seems to work for them.

I think marriages of different Christian faith traditions can work out, but mostly when one spouse is devout in theirs and the other is not in theirs. I would anticipate more butting of heads if two devout people got together. Therefore, a person should not undertake such a relationship lightly. Just my opinion.
 
Thank y’all I just feel we would butt heads when it comes to kids, I thonk,we are equally devout, he tried being a Christian bit stuck to being catholic Bc its what hes used,
 
He said to me it doesn’t matter to him im protestant, its how we click, but he wont leave his church or ne mine
 
Godsprincess24 said:
Thank y’all I just feel we would butt heads when it comes to kids, I thonk,we are equally devout, he tried being a Christian bit stuck to being catholic Bc its what hes used,
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Mixed marriages can work out and I think there are some folks on CAF who can testify to that. However, it is usually less confusing and less problems for everyone involved when both spouses are on the same page.

By the way, I assume you realize that Catholics are Christians too, right? I assume you didn’t mean it the way it came out.

I wish you the best on your future. Please pray and seek the wisdom of godly people around you whom you trust – would be my only other piece of advice.
 
My parents were of different traditions, though my father ended up becoming Catholic after over 40 years. It can work, but it’s tricky. A couple points:
  1. You’ll have to figure out what to do about the kids. This can’t be overstated.
  2. For your husband to truly follow the rules of his Church, he has to go to mass every week - not every other week. That isn’t to say that he can’t go to both.
  3. Generally speaking, the Church requires Catholics to get married in a Catholic church, and the Catholic spouse is required to do his best to raise the children as Catholic.
Here’s my take - a lot of Catholics go through the motions, but never go beyond that. Some of those Catholics eventually realize that there’s more to Christianity than going through motions (which there is), and they end up at a non-Catholic church, where they feel more of a connection. They look around, and see that there aren’t as many lukewarm people - which is probably true. Lukewarm Baptists are probably sleeping in on Sunday morning, whereas lukewarm Catholics may at least go to mass (if only out of obligation). But that isn’t to say that you can’t have the same connection in a Catholic church, or more of one - especially if you learn why everything is the way it is - the meaning and history behind each prayer. There is an incredible richness and variety in the Church, and there is always “more”. Beyond Sunday Mass, there’s daily readings. Beyond daily readings, there’s bible study, or daily Mass. Beyond daily Mass, there’s liturgy of the hours. There’s adoration. There’s contemplative prayer. There’s 2000 years of biblical commentary, Christian thought, and Christian practice. And of course, there’s the Eucharist, where we receive Christ in an unparalleled way.

No matter what you do, if you’re looking to get married, I’d strongly suggest going through pre-Cana (Catholic marriage preparation). You’ll know what you’re getting yourself into (with marriage and with marriage to a Catholic), and it helps you both to prepare for married life.
 
" he tried being a Christian bit stuck to being catholic"

Did you actually just say that?

Yes, you are going to have problems.

Catholics ARE Christian!
 
Godsprincess24 said:
my question is can a Southern Baptist and my catholic bf workout?
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Speaking from experience… yes, but it may not be easy. In fact, it can be downright difficult at times. My wife (SBC) and I (Catholic) got married when we were 27. We were married in a Baptist church by a Baptist pastor with a Catholic priest participating after a dispensation was granted. (He will need to speak to his priest about a dispensation prior to the wedding for the Church to recognize its validity.) We each had no intention of leaving our respective churches. I was reared Catholic. She was reared Baptist (her late grandfather was a Baptist pastor).

There are a lot of theological conflicts that arise in a mixed marriage such as this. To name a few… infant baptism, contraception, Sunday obligations, and so forth.
Godsprincess24 said:
we plan to alternate churches every other week
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We started out with this plan too. We also agreed to baptize our children catholic, but expose them to both churches equally. Worked for a few years after we were married. However, we eventually came to the conclusion that some very essential teachings of our faiths contradicted each other. Additionally, we learned from both Catholic and non-Catholic sources that exposing children to conflicting religious teachings can be very burdensome for them. Sometimes leading to disbelief. This became a pressing issue once our first child was born.

Long story short…. We got to a point that we no longer shared much about our own faith journey with each other. We would discuss things here and there. I was led by experiences outside of our marriage to study apologetics, with a specific focus on responding to fundamentalist claims. Eventually, she became open to the possibility of conversion. She studied, mostly on her own, specific topics she found difficult to accept. After much prayer, reflection and study, she is now in RCIA.
 
He is staying catholic because he likes the way how concrete catholicism, we are starting to fall for each other and are happy together, I really meant to say catholics. Are christians but protestants think differently, I can see myself marrying him and raising the kids catholic just as long as they experience both sides of the coin
 
Godsprincess24 said:
Thank y’all I just feel we would butt heads when it comes to kids, I thonk,we are equally devout, he tried being a Christian bit stuck to being catholic Bc its what hes used,
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I have to say, if you believe or if he believes that he stayed Catholic simply because it is what he is used to, this will not work. At all.

He is obligated as a Catholic to attend Mass EVERY week, not every other. So he will be in a constant state of sin. With no hope of Confession, because he doesn’t plan to change how he lives. If he is devout, this will wear on him.

Think about birth control. Most Baptist couples would have no problem with birth control. But you know and understand that he won’t use birth control, right?

His children, whom he must agree to raise as Catholics, to the best of his ability, will be raised Baptist. Why? Because he will give up the weekly fight. This will also wear on him.

I foresee a lifetime of on compromise. No one should have to compromise on their salvation.
 
a house divided doesn’t stand too good especially with children in the middle. There is a very good book out called “Till Faith do us Part”. The author is Jewish and married to a JW and the book explores all aspects of mixed faith marriages. Basically what come out in the book is that there are more conflicts, less happiness and children generally wash out of any religion. The only mixed type faith marriage I’ve seen that work is usually when one spouse is not as strong or determined in their particular faith and supports or goes along with the spouse that is. That doesn’t sound like your situation and some of your comments about him such as he tried to be Christian implies that you have some “conversion” plans for him. One should never marry another with conversion plan on the back burner or have those hopes of change. You have a number of big issues on your road here such as baptism (infant or adult) for starters. If you marry in the Catholic Church, he has the promise to raise the children Catholic which is going to be different from the Baptist you attend. The idea that love with find a way is another bogus romantic myth and there are too many threads on CAF here from mixed religions marriages and the raising of children etc. Starting out the marriage with a major conflict or difference is a bad idea all away around. Marriage is challenging enough with out adding different faiths and ideas into the mix.
 
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