Baptizing Grand Children at home

[ronhmason]

May I validly baptize my young grand children at home when I know that my son and his ex-wife, who are not Catholic are never going to have them Baptized in the Catholic Church.

Actually I’ve already baptized them when they were about a year old because thats when I first heard that I could do that under certain circumstances.

But when I mentioned it to my parish Priest the other day, he didn’t want to talk about it and now I’m not sure if it was valid.

Any help appreciated,
Ron

 

[Tantum_ergo]

Provided that you used the proper Trinitarian formula and matter (water) it was indeed valid.

But you should not have done it. The parents are the primary teachers/caregivers of children. And they are not going to be Catholic. Are you somehow going to be able to raise your grandchildren as Catholics–weekly Mass, the sacraments, the education of the Faith? I don’t think so, especially if your children find out that you did this baptism against their (parents’) wishes.

So you have validly baptized grandchildren who are thus going to be held to the higher standards of professing and maintaining the Catholic faith, while they don’t have the teachers or the tools to actually learn and practice that faith. You’ve made their lives more difficult, not less.

I am sorry to have to tell you what I am sure you don’t want to hear, and I do understand your emotions and that you acted out of love. . .

Maybe, just maybe, with lots of prayer and sacrifice and effort your children (and thus hopefully your grandchildren) will choose the Faith. I certainly pray it may be so.

 

[ronhmason]

Indeed I did do it out of love. And I do still have hopes and prayers of returning my son the the Catholic Church.

And if and when he returns, he will have some influence on their religious upbringing.

Thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut,
Ron

 

[JimR-OCDS]

I’m not sure, but I do not believe the Baptisms are valid.

Baptism requires faith and for infants, it’s through the faith of the parents in which the Church allows them to be Baptised. The Baptismal promises are made by the parents for the child. The parents promise to raise the child in the faith, and the church even helps to insure this promise by having godparents in place, should something happen to the parents where they can not raise the child in the faith.

I would suggest that you get the right answer on this, because should the parents decide to return to the Church and have the children Baptised, will you tell them it’s not necessary because you already did it? What if at that point the baptisms are really not valid and the parents think it’s not necessary?

Jim

 

[ronhmason]

I would love to get the right answer and I’ve sent the question to the the Apologist Forum 2 times and have not received a reply yet.

Where else may I get the correct answer? As I said, my Priest didn’t want to discuss it.

Thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut,
Ron

 

[JimR-OCDS]

I would love to get the right answer and I’ve sent the question to the the Apologist Forum 2 times and have not received a reply yet.

Where else may I get the correct answer? As I said, my Priest didn’t want to discuss it.

Thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut,
Ron

Try the EWTN site, and do a search on Baptism of Infants.

ewtn.com/vexperts/search.asp

If you don’t find anything, post your question there. I’ve gotten good advice from them in the past and they’ve been pretty prompt in answering.

Jim

 

[Mommyof02green]

I would love to get the right answer and I’ve sent the question to the the Apologist Forum 2 times and have not received a reply yet.

Where else may I get the correct answer? As I said, my Priest didn’t want to discuss it.

Thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut,
Ron

How did you approach your priest?

Did you arrange to meet with him in his office? Did you have an appointment? Or did you catch him after/before Mass?

The only reason I ask because the timing may of been off.
If you caught him after/before Mass he may not of wanted to talk at that moment…seeing there are others around and he may not of wanted to cause some kind of “scandal”.

I could see it: I over heard Fr. tell so-and-so that it’s okay to baptize your Grandbabies in the kitchen sink; so you know…

Your priest might have been trying to avoid someone overhearing and getting the wrong impression. That is if you were trying asking him about that before/after Mass.

I would call your parish office and make an appointment to speak with Father. I’m sure that he would be willing to talk then.

 

[ronhmason]

How did you approach your priest?

Did you arrange to meet with him in his office? Did you have an appointment? Or did you catch him after/before Mass?

The only reason I ask because the timing may of been off.
If you caught him after/before Mass he may not of wanted to talk at that moment…seeing there are others around and he may not of wanted to cause some kind of “scandal”.

I could see it: I over heard Fr. tell so-and-so that it’s okay to baptize your Grandbabies in the kitchen sink; so you know…

Your priest might have been trying to avoid someone overhearing and getting the wrong impression. That is if you were trying asking him about that before/after Mass.

I would call your parish office and make an appointment to speak with Father. I’m sure that he would be willing to talk then.

Thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut,

You right in that I should make an appointment to speak to him about it but I didn’t get the impression that his problem with the question was because of time or place.

Thanks,
Ron

 

[Mommyof02green]

Thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut,

You right in that I should make an appointment to speak to him about it but I didn’t get the impression that his problem with the question was because of time or place.

Thanks,
Ron

I don’t know if that is or isn’t, because I don’t know the priest at your parish.

I do know that some of the priest in my area will not answer certain question at certain times. They will either say come with me now to my office (time permitting) or let me see when I’m available and make an appointment right then and there, or lastly say call the office tomorrow and we’ll make an appointment.

So my advice was based on that. It also was based on what I would do. If I had a question that I really need an answer for I would make an appointment to talk to the priest.

God Bless!

 

[puzzleannie]

the ordinary minister of Baptism is the priest or bishop. The faculty to baptize may be given to the deacon. A non-ordained person may baptize an infant, or an adult who has indicated a desire to for the sacrament, only in danger of death. If such a baptism is done the details must be communication to the child’s pastor at the earliest opportunity, so the fact of baptism can be properly recorded and if the person survives, the priest will complete the rite.

Canon law states that faith is necessary for baptism, the infant is baptized based on the faith of his parents, that one or both parents must consent to and request baptism, and that the pastor must have assurance that the child will be raised Catholic, educated in the faith, and brought to the other sacraments.

If a grandparent or other well-meaning family members takes it upon themselves to baptized an infant against the will or knowledge of the parents, they have violated canon law which is objectively sinful, and subjectively sinful if they knew about it and understood its gravity. They have taken a perogative away from the pastor and the parents which does not belong to them.

I second the recommendation to make an appointment, lay the whole situation before the priest, and get his help in how to deal with the child’s family and bring them back to the Church. The best book I have ever read on how to approach such family members is Search and Rescue by Patrick Madrid.