Baptizing When Fear of Babies Dying

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BernadetteM

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I know someone whose daughter had triplets, they were born 10 1/2 weeks early and only weighed 2 lbs. There was a fear on her part and the doctors that they might die. She baptized them in the Nicu “sp”. She never told her daughter who had them baptized in the Church when they were allowed to go out.

Is this such a terrible thing to do? She is worried that she might have done the wrong thing, but her fear that they would die without being baptized was overwhelming and she didn’t want the babies not to be recieved into Heaven.

Yours in the Hearts of Jesus and Mary

Bernadette
 
BernadetteM said:
I know someone whose daughter had triplets, they were born 10 1/2 weeks early and only weighed 2 lbs. There was a fear on her part and the doctors that they might die. She baptized them in the Nicu “sp”. She never told her daughter who had them baptized in the Church when they were allowed to go out.

Is this such a terrible thing to do? She is worried that she might have done the wrong thing, but her fear that they would die without being baptized was overwhelming and she didn’t want the babies not to be recieved into Heaven.

Yours in the Hearts of Jesus and Mary

Bernadette
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No. it’s not a terrible thing to do, when necessary no one should hesitate. However Canon Law requires that someone who does Baptize in thiss emergency manner notify the nearest parish that it has taken place so that it may be recorded in the Baptisal register of the parish and the additional Rites of Baptism may follow if the child/children live.

No one should hesitate doing this, but stop by the parish after leaving the hospital and let the pastor know that you have Baptized someone under emergency conditions.
 
BernadetteM said:
I know someone whose daughter had triplets, they were born 10 1/2 weeks early and only weighed 2 lbs. There was a fear on her part and the doctors that they might die. She baptized them in the Nicu “sp”. She never told her daughter who had them baptized in the Church when they were allowed to go out.

Is this such a terrible thing to do? She is worried that she might have done the wrong thing, but her fear that they would die without being baptized was overwhelming and she didn’t want the babies not to be recieved into Heaven.

Yours in the Hearts of Jesus and Mary

Bernadette
Click to expand...
Baptizing a baby in danger of death is fine. But why would she keep it a secret from the children’s mother? She acted as if she had done something shameful.

The children should not have been re-baptized, but rather had the sacrament completed.
 
If the grandmother of the triplets didn’t know to inform their mother or the parish priest, I would guess she didn’t know how to baptize properly either.
 
From my understanding the situation was very emotional and she didn’t want to alarm her daughter any more than she already was. She had just gotten over a C-section and was not feeling very well herself.

I think we all do things out of emotion and fear at times. She used water and baptized them in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Her daughter also had another baby who was 2 years old at the time, so there was a lot of stress going on.

Yours in the Hearts of Jesus and Mary

Bernadette
 
She probably didn’t want her daughter to miss out on the church baptism.

For heaven’s sake wouldn’t it have given her daughter peace of mind to know they had been baptized? Why didn’t she call a priest in to do it? If the Grandmother had access to the babies they weren’t in that much danger. Normally only the parents have access. If she was able to take water to the babies then there probably weren’t in that serious a condition. I hope she used sterile water. If she didn’t that’s another indicator that the babies weren’t in that serious condition.

I think she should talk to her priest about it. She withheld this information from the parents. It’s problematic. I do empathize with her about worrying about the babies. Just not the secrecy and the apparent urgency seems to have been inappropriate.
 
From what I understand, any Christian can have a child who is in danger of death baptized. In this case, the babies lived, thanks be to God. I happen to know a doctor in the ER who has had to baptize babies himself, whether the parent wanted him to or not. I imagine there will be quite a little reception waiting for him when he gets to heaven.

Why aren’t people as scrupulous and legalistic when it comes to how they treat one another?
 
As the mother of a preemie that was born 14 weeks early I hope maybe I can shed a little bit of insight.

My daughter was 1 pound 11 ounces when she was born via emergency C section and less than 2 hours later she was being transported across town to the children’s hospital NICU so I was unable to see her at all until I was discharged when she was 3 days old.
During that time my mother did have access to see my daughter(in my daughter’s NICU parents and grandparents did have round the clock access no matter what condition the baby was in.) and talk to her doctors, this did not mean her condition was not serious because it was actually quite serious, she was on a ventilator, had umbilical lines and was on IV nutrition, she also had her first blood transfusion at 3 days old. As time passed it was determined that she had had a bleed in her brain, problems with the blood vessels in her eyes and a hole in her heart that refused to respond to medications and then came the talk of open heart surgery to close the hole that way.
This was the point where I decided it was time to have her Baptized and I talked to one of the Priests who worked at the hospital, he was at her bedside less than an hour later to perform the Baptism. Sterile water was not used, in fact he took water from the sink and blessed it at the bedside.

I do agree that the daughter should have been informed, however we cannot speak to the seriousness of the babies conditions because we do not know for sure but having been in those shoes myself I know that the first weeks in the NICU are a very critical time for the babies and a very stressful time for the families. My daughter hung on by a thread for the first month and then took off and never looked back, she will be 8 this coming November and outside of some health issues related to her early arrival she is doing great.
 
As a deacon it is not uncommon for me to complete the baptismal rite after an emergency baptism was done in a hospital. The entire rite of using the holy oils, the baptismal candle, the while garment, the blessings, the profession of faith etc are all done, except for the pouring of the water over the infant, because you can only be baptized once and that one time, was sufficient to remove Original and personal sin. So if the reason that grandma did not tell her daughter was so that her grandchildren would not miss out on the church part of a baptism…she needn’t have worried about that at all.

The fact, the children were emergency baptized, should have been properly reported to the hospital chaplain who most likely would have notified the nearest parish for recording, or at the very least it would have been recordedin the newborn’s medical record so that later a record could be sent to the family’s home parish for record.

The important thing is that grandma’s heart was in the right place, she just didn’t have all the facts about baptism and all the confusion could have been avoided. I am happy that the little ones are thriving. God is good! Now, let all those who are baptized, provide a sturdy and healthy soil for their faith to grow and nurture. That’s the bigger work of baptism…the days afterward!
 
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