Bathsheba and adultery

[whiteninja73]

My parents divorced some time ago. My father had an affair which tore my family apart. 6 years later(!) my father is still seeing the woman with whom he cheated on my mother.
She absolutely hates the church with a passion, but my dad started to see a Catholic deacon about this whole mess.

Praise the Lord right?

not so fast.

The deacon has told my father that he has certain obligations to this new woman who is not his wife (there was never an annulment). He is equating the adulterous affair with that of King David’s and Bathsheba’s. If God later blessed their union, then surely this can’t be much different. At least that is the logic.

Is this justified? Or am I correct in thinking that they are living in a state of perpetual adultery, and the best course of action would be for them to split up.

There is a lot of mistrust between my father’s girlfriend and the rest of my family. I don’t know if I am being so biased that I will not accept this answer as being from God.

Can you help me? Am I crazy or is the deacon just a little dodgy?

An thoughts would be much appreciated.

 

[JULIAN_PINTO]

My parents divorced some time ago. My father had an affair which tore my family apart. 6 years later(!) my father is still seeing the woman with whom he cheated on my mother.
She absolutely hates the church with a passion, but my dad started to see a Catholic deacon about this whole mess.

Praise the Lord right?

not so fast.

The deacon has told my father that he has certain obligations to this new woman who is not his wife (there was never an annulment). He is equating the adulterous affair with that of King David’s and Bathsheba’s. If God later blessed their union, then surely this can’t be much different. At least that is the logic.

Is this justified? Or am I correct in thinking that they are living in a state of perpetual adultery, and the best course of action would be for them to split up.

There is a lot of mistrust between my father’s girlfriend and the rest of my family. I don’t know if I am being so biased that I will not accept this answer as being from God.

Can you help me? Am I crazy or is the deacon just a little dodgy?

An thoughts would be much appreciated.

even David committed adultery and had to repent of it. if there was no annulment of your dad’s marriage to your mom then sad to say but your dad is still living an adulterous life. the only way out is to repent with all his heart through a good confession, ask forgiveness from your mom and get back together with her. because the bible says that what God joins man should not destroy.
be blessed.

 

[Sherry_G]

Sometimes, people only hear what they choose to hear and blot out the whole real message if it doesn’t agree with their agenda. This is what I think is going on with your father. I take it that this is what your father is telling you, correct?

The obligation incurred toward a co-adulterer could be concerning a child born of their illicit union? Don’t know about that part. Sometimes there is a small grain of truth contained in the message that is then twisted to suit one’s own desires? Just conjecture on my part.

If a deacon is really advising someone to continue an adulterous affair, there is a serious problem, but somehow, I doubt that was the real content of the deacon’s message.

I’m sorry for your pain over the breakup of your family. I doubt that I could entertain my faither with such a mistress, myself.

 

[Ne_OrangeKnight]

Not to mention that, when David married Bathsheba, her husband Uriah was no longer alive, and therefore no longer married.

Sam, the Neon Orange Knight

 

[SunshineZA]

Not to mention that, when David married Bathsheba, her husband Uriah was no longer alive, and therefore no longer married.

Sam, the Neon Orange Knight

(Added to that, David ‘murdered’ her husband because he was afraid to be found out by Uriah.)

David’s baby son, conceived out of wedlock died as a result of David’s wickedness towards God. 2 Sam. 12: 18

 

[GraceDK]

My parents divorced some time ago. My father had an affair which tore my family apart. 6 years later(!) my father is still seeing the woman with whom he cheated on my mother.
She absolutely hates the church with a passion, but my dad started to see a Catholic deacon about this whole mess.

Praise the Lord right?

not so fast.

The deacon has told my father that he has certain obligations to this new woman who is not his wife (there was never an annulment). He is equating the adulterous affair with that of King David’s and Bathsheba’s. If God later blessed their union, then surely this can’t be much different. At least that is the logic.

Is this justified? Or am I correct in thinking that they are living in a state of perpetual adultery, and the best course of action would be for them to split up.

There is a lot of mistrust between my father’s girlfriend and the rest of my family. I don’t know if I am being so biased that I will not accept this answer as being from God.

Can you help me? Am I crazy or is the deacon just a little dodgy?

An thoughts would be much appreciated.

Thats bizarre.
Your father does NOT have a child with this woman, right?
Of course it would bring in an innocent party who needed to be taken care of - that is full time fathering from your dad, if this child existed - but at any rate he must stop living in adultery, regardless of whether he chooses to stay seperated from his real wife (your mother) or not.
Why don’t you go talk to the deacon yourself? Or call him on the phone. Hear what he actually said. At any rate, the Church teaches what she teaches, even if this deacon had said some kind of nonsense.

 

[redroselover]

seems bizarre to me too. Have you talked to the deacon or are you getting the story from your dad?

 

[whiteninja73]

Not to mention that, when David married Bathsheba, her husband Uriah was no longer alive, and therefore no longer married.

Sam, the Neon Orange Knight

That is a very good point. Thank you for bringing this up.

I have talked to the deacon on my own, and that is what he told me. There is no child involved. The obligations he is talking about is just taking care of her. I suppose that the idea is that since both families were torn apart, they still have each other.

I hope that makes sense.

Is there a way for them to be reconciled with their respective families and still see each other in any context then?

Thanks! you guys are most helpful.

 

[cmscms]

Yes, this sounds odd to me.

I am trying to read between the lines and see if there is any possible way there is a sensible message here

All I can think is your father’s obligation to this other woman is to treat her with respect like he would treat any other child of God’s. As for takin care of her… if they bought a house together, the assets should be sold and fairly shared. ie if your dad has more earning power than this woman gets a bit more than half of the assets.

As for you dad going back to your wife and working something ot with this woman. I don’t think thatis realistic. If your mom agrees to go back to your dad, the last person she will want around is this woman

CM

 

[Suzq2]

“The deacon has told my father that he has certain obligations to this new woman who is not his wife (there was never an annulment)”

The deacon is right in the fact that your father does have certain obligations to this new woman. He has the obligation to discontinue the adultery, to seek an annulment, and, if the annulment is granted, marry her. He should also be very straight forward about her being accepting of his catholic beliefs and invite her to learn more about the church.

Your father has a lot of work to do!

My prayers are with you and your family.