Battling Shame

[BlueinSD]

This is something that I’ve been thinking about for the past few days and I can’t seem to come to an answer in my own mind. At the last Mass, my priest mentioned that the closer we come to God, the more apparent our own faults and stains become. This is so unbelievably true that I cannot put words to its validity. Consequently, we become more aware of how much we need God’s love and mercy. However, at what point does focusing on one’s own sins and stains become a bad thing?

I’ve had my own issues and though they are long since past, many of my own sins, particularly those having to deal with impurity still haunt me and cause me shame. On the one hand, it helps to keep me humble and realize how wretched and sinful I truly am, but on the other hand I feel that focusing too much on shame can be unhealthy. I’m kind of caught in a Catch-22 if you see my problem. It helps draw me to God, but I think that at times, I become so focused on my own sin that it might actually hinder my ability to focus on God’s love and mercy. Ultimately, by focusing on God’s love and mercy, we bring Him glory by realizing that a being of such infinite perfection can still love his creation despite how infinitely beneath Him we are…

Thoughts?

 

[fred_conty]

Try shifting the feeling of shame to one of deep gratitude for the wonderful kindness He has extended to you. Something modeled after the magnificat of Mary who praises God for the blessing and favor he has shown to you that all who will see this someday will call you blessed. Then pray for all those who have not been grace favored as you and say the prayer of St. Steven, “Lord, forgive them for they no not what they do.”

 

[Jaypeeto4]

I am appalled at the depth of my own sins and the extent of them.
Many of which (though by far not the majority of them) were even committed after baptism, even after adult confirmation. May God deliver me from such internal serious sin.

My problem was the opposite, I think. Though I acknowledged my serious sins in confession, mentally I tended to minimize them. After all, yes, my sins were serious, but I had never committed armed robbery, never stole anyone’s purse, never raped, never burglarized a home or vehicle, never assaulted, never murdered anyone, so while my sins were mortal, I didn’t think they were as bad as THOSE mortal sins. When, in reality, they kind of are, just in different ways. So I saw little need for personal expiation or penances, which I see the need for now. And I pray God for the grace and the means to carry out these penances, including prayers for the worst and most violent and depraved of sinners.

I would urge you to do penance regularly: especially praying for the salvation of other sinners, especially the most serious, most evil, even violent, sinners. Pray The Chaplet of the Divine Mercy for them, and the Rosary too. You could be the instrument of God’s salvation for them, and for the betterment of society (and the protection of those who would have been their victims had they not converted) once they are converted and transformed. But don’t dwell on your own past sins too much. And do seek to obtain as many indulgences you can each day for your past, forgiven sins, and ask for greater saving grace and individual graces.
God bless you,
Jaypeeto4
+JMJ+

 

[Samuel63]

As you make advances in holiness, other dark forces want to keep you stumbling about. This fixation on the past sins will retard your advances in the spiritual life and into greater holiness. You have to break the cycle.

Go to a good priest for the Sacrament of Penance. Confess your sins, all of them, receive absolution, and complete the prescribed penace. After that, know you are clear and free. Of course there is another payment due for the “temporal punishment due to sin.” You can clear this up too with a plenary indulgence.

Find a priest in the area that is loyal to the magisterium though. A “lukewarm” priest will not help you make progress.

 

[AnneTeresa]

Shame and guilt are two different things. Guilt is what we rightly feel when we sin. Confession of sin takes away the guilt. Shame is feeling bad about ourselves. It’s partly not believing that our sins are forgiven, a form of pride. It doesn’t do any good to feel shame in the big picture. It takes learning of God’s love personally, experiencing his immense forgiveness and mercy. Then we have to surrender to Him and trust that we are forgiven. That means letting go of the shame over our sins, and TRUSTING God’s word that they are forgiven. It can take time to learn this.

It is true we become more aware of our sin as we grow spiritually. Do not give up. Perhaps the point of this awareness is for us to run to Jesus for help and forgiveness when we see this sin. That puts the focus on Him, not us. Reading Mother Teresa and St. Terese, as well as St Faustina, can help us learn more of God’s love so we believe it at a deeper level (at least it helps me). God bless.