The arguments in this thread are absolutely ridiculous on both sides. On the one hand, there is the argument that people should just have as many children as they possibly can and God will provide fully for them. This is irresponsible, and if the children would be placed in jeopardy because of malnutrition or lack of shelter or clothing, it would be idiotic to jump into having the next child assuming that God will feed them.
However, the arguments on the other side are shallow, as well. I believe it was stated that women are not baby making factories, and that the woman is somehow not more geared towards the care of children than the male. This is blatantly false. As God created human beings, women are the natural providers of sustenance to the child until they are able to eat solid food. They are also physically weaker than males, and, because of the natural shape of their hips, are not geared towards hunting (which required walking great distances). There is a REASON that females cared for children for thousands of years (though they did work in the fields, as well), and not merely because men were jerks. They are simply naturally geared for it.God created man and woman complimentary to one another, equal in dignity. He did NOT make us equal in every department, as is seen. There are clearly differences between men and women, and it cannot all be attributed merely to social learning and societal norms (see the New Advent link).
The statement that women are not called to be baby making factories (derogatory term that I’ll address later) and that God calls them to a career rather than to have children is certainly possible, but the discernment process must be placed in context. First, what does one consider God ‘calling’ them to stop having children? The fact that it is difficult? The fact that more luxuries will be given up to provide for the child? The fact that a career might be sacrificed for the child? These are foolish reasons for discerning out of having more children. If my mother had ‘discerned’ this way, many of my brothers and sisters would not be born, and she would still be working as an engineer. Children are a sacrifice, yes. But is God really calling someone to stop having them for the sake of a career? I can’t answer this, but EXTENSIVE prayer and spiritual direction should be taken before one considers ceasing to have children because of the desire for a career or luxuries.
If one does truly come to the conclusion that they are being called to stop having children and pursue a career, that is fine. But saying that a woman is merely a ‘baby making machine’, and that making many children during the lifetime of the woman is somehow a bad thing takes away so much from the human dignity and beauty of women that I am actually repulsed by this viewpoint. The Blessed Mother was a wife and mother. She is the most amazing person that has ever been created. Since all she did was bear Christ and rear Him (and serve God faithfully, this is obvious), was she merely a ‘baby making machine’? Was my mother, who gave up her career for more children, a ‘baby making machine?’ Absolutely not. Mary is a beautiful and wonderful woman that carried out the will of God without selfishness or fear. And, quite honestly, my mother is a braver woman for giving up her career for the sake of my beloved brothers and sisters than most of the ‘career’ women I know that stopped having children. Actually, make that all of them.
Just think if Mary had lived today and had been asked to bear Christ in her womb, and she had a career that she loved but would have to give it up. She would still do it. Christ, Mary, the Joseph and all the saints are the people we should be imitating when it comes to discernment of something difficult, not resorting to ‘I don’t feel called to have more children because I want them to have their own rooms and pay entirely for their school and be able to buy them designer clothes’. NONE of those things were necessary for me to be raised, and I thank God that my mother had the courage and love of Him to give up her personal aspiration for a career in order to bring my beloved brothers and sisters into this world.
This question must be asked: are you seeking to hastily stop having children because of personal aspirations, or are you truly, with your whole heart, crying out the the Lord, “What may I do to serve You, that Your Will be done?” Catholicism isn’t a faith of comfort, it is a faith of conforming (to God) regardless of comfort (not necessities). In the end, if one has come to a conclusion after enduring, consistent prayer, receiving of sacraments, spiritual direction, and surrender of self to God, the conclusion will likely be correct (so long as it is not sinful).
A final note to some of the other ‘arguments’ made: the Catholic teaching on matrimony actually does place the male as the spiritual head of the family and the mother as the traditional primary care-taker (both links). This does not mean women are subservient, or that they are required to relinquish careers. At all. Again, men and women are both complimentary to one another’s strengths and weaknesses, and should not be attempting to outdo one another in idiotic societal contests.
Childbearing is such a beautiful and wonderful thing, it should never be looked down upon in favor of more luxury or comfort or personal aspirations, but only for absolute necessity (sustenance, shelter, clothing, safety). Childbearing is a far greater thing than anything any man will ever do in any career.
Encyclical on Marriage:
vatican.va/holy_father/pius_xi/encyclicals/documents/hf_p-xi_enc_31121930_casti-connubii_en.html
New Advent explanation of the Christian family:
newadvent.org/cathen/05782a.htm
May you all discern selflessly and with God’s will at the forefront. Pray for me, that I may do the same.
