Becoming a Catholic at 19

[sunnyyy]

Hi there, forumgoers. My name is Sunny and I am new here… I have come because I need some advice and guidance. Let me tell you all a story first.

My parents were both raised Catholic. Neither of them were particularly devout or serious about it, but I’m pretty sure they were both baptized and generally accepted into Catholicism as children. They both married other people when they were young and both divorced, and I think in the 70’s when this happened, it was a reason to be excommunicated. However, I think that since my father was the only one who was married in a Catholic church (pretty sure my mom was married in someone’s house), only he was excommunicated. I am pretty sure that my mom is still Catholic. Nobody in my house has gone to mass as a family during my lifetime (I went last summer twice with my then-boyfriend out of curiosity).

My mom’s mom (Grandma) was raised and lived Catholic. I never knew that she was religious. Her sister is extremely religious and goes to mass every day. However, Grandma seemed to be less religious. Throughout my entire life Grandma was the most important person to me, by far. She passed away on April 12th this year.

During her last week, she and my mother would talk all day and all night. Grandma said that when she died, she knew that God was going to lift her away into heaven. Her faith and belief in God allowed her to truly accept her death and be willing to move onto her next step in this universe. She believed in eternal life, heaven, and everything. I was always a bit of a skeptic, but during her last week I also personally witnessed many phenomena that I can only describe as God-given miracles.

Because of this turn of events, I have been thinking strongly about converting to Catholicism. I was never baptized. My boyfriend is a Lutheran and I occasionally go to church events with him. I do not know much about different sects of Christianity, but all of my encounters with any kind of churches has always been inspirational and positive. I could not help but tear up at both of the Catholic masses I have attended because I was just so moved and inspired by something that was present in the room. I really do feel like there is something divine drawing me to be faithful. I was never religious, never read the Bible, never was a church-goer. But something is pulling me to do this. I want to explore the Catholic faith before making the plunge to actually become a Catholic. Mind you, I am a busy college student on summer break so come September I will be a bit rushed and lacking free time. I hope that being Catholic does not require me to spend hours a day praying, but I would like to be connected with God as much as I can.

I would appreciate some general commentary relating to what I have said. I want to make sure that I’m not misguided and not just trying to hold onto any remnants of my grandmother or try to use religion to replace her or fill the hole in my heart that she left.

Here are some questions I have, as well:

1. What do I do to become a Catholic? I don’t know if my family will be on board with this, so it’s better to assume that I will be flying solo.
2. My boyfriend is a Lutheran. I plan on staying with him for some long term (not necessarily marriage, but we are very good for each other). Will I have to break up with him? Will anything change in our relationship if I become a Catholic? I mentioned to him that I wanted to practice religion more. He offered to take me to his church but was quite shocked when I said I wanted to go to Catholic church.
3. Does it matter what church I go to? There are a ton here in my conservative Italian state. Do I have to stick to one or can I keep church-hopping till I find one that I like?
4. Am I going to be treated any differently or held to a different standard because I have committed mortal sins in the past? What if I don’t want to stop committing them? Am I going to hell because I sleep with my boyfriend and had a promiscuous past?
5. Will I be treated any differently because I waited nineteen years to become a Catholic?
6. Is someone going to teach me how to do church things? (take the communion after becoming Catholic, what to say during church, how and when to genuflect, confession, praying, how to memorize the things you have to say, praying the rosary, etc etc etc, stressful things like that)

I think that’s enough for now… hopefully you guys will be willing to read my long, stressed-out rant. Thank you in advance for ANYTHING you can contribute!!

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

H…
Here are some questions I have, as well:

1. What do I do to become a Catholic? I don’t know if my family will be on board with this, so it’s better to assume that I will be flying solo.
2. My boyfriend is a Lutheran. I plan on staying with him for some long term (not necessarily marriage, but we are very good for each other). Will I have to break up with him? Will anything change in our relationship if I become a Catholic? I mentioned to him that I wanted to practice religion more. He offered to take me to his church but was quite shocked when I said I wanted to go to Catholic church.
3. Does it matter what church I go to? There are a ton here in my conservative Italian state. Do I have to stick to one or can I keep church-hopping till I find one that I like?
4. Am I going to be treated any differently or held to a different standard because I have committed mortal sins in the past? What if I don’t want to stop committing them? Am I going to hell because I sleep with my boyfriend and had a promiscuous past?
5. Will I be treated any differently because I waited nineteen years to become a Catholic?
6. Is someone going to teach me how to do church things? (take the communion after becoming Catholic, what to say during church, how and when to genuflect, confession, praying, how to memorize the things you have to say, praying the rosary, etc etc etc, stressful things like that)

I think that’s enough for now… hopefully you guys will be willing to read my long, stressed-out rant. Thank you in advance for ANYTHING you can contribute!!

1. To become Catholic you go to a parish and register for RCIA (rite of Christian Initiation for Adults) If you want something more tailored to your specific age, try your local college Catholic parish. This will be a process that I wish were quicker, but you will most certainly have all your other questions answered in the classes. I converted to Catholicism at 19, I did not go through the RCIA process that many do, but the “rite” was valid. It was just done under personal spiritual guidance at a College I went to.
2. No, you will not be asked to break up with him. Yes, things will change.
   As an aside, I think your thought process toward your relationship and marriage will changed dramatically regardless of your religion.
3. Your “parish” is determined on where you reside. Your attendance on any given parish is usually up to your discretion. I parish shop myself.
4. No, you will not be held to a different standard because of past mortal sins. At all, period. You will however be required to stop committing these sins. This includes sins against chastity and life. Ironically, you are held to that same accountability if you are Catholic or not. You could be a star wars jedi for a faith and you would be wrong to commit mortal sins.
5. No, in fact if anything we converts are generally regarded as more knowledgeable about the faith than some cradle Catholics.
6. yes, absolutely! Though some are better at it than others!

Welcome and may God bless your journey.

 

[Magdalenaa]

“I also personally witnessed many phenomena…”

I’m curious as to what kind of phenomena you witnessed.

And don’t worry we are all sinners. Nobody is going to look at you any different.

But you do need to get baptized in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit right away. Don’t procrastinate on this one. Talk to the priest or RCIA director.

Also don’t worry about having waited 19 years before coming to the Church. I was born into the Church and rejected Her for years and left for over a decade. I came back not long ago.
It is better to seek Truth and have found it, than to know Truth and reject it.

Please, if it’s not so personal, tell us about the things you witnessed. You are not alone on that one.
Viva Cristo Rey!
I can tell your Grandma is helping…

 

[eamonnroma]

I am not going to reply to your questions. I would like to say how wonderful it is to hear of someone young intending to take such a big step. I am praying for you.

 

[eightydeuce82]

1. What do I do to become a Catholic? I don’t know if my family will be on board with this, so it’s better to assume that I will be flying solo.

RCIA and that can be done by going to talk to your local parish. Be prepared for a year long process. Alternatively if a priest has the ability a private instruction can be given (that’s on the priest) most common is RCIA.

1. My boyfriend is a Lutheran. I plan on staying with him for some long term (not necessarily marriage, but we are very good for each other). Will I have to break up with him? Will anything change in our relationship if I become a Catholic? I mentioned to him that I wanted to practice religion more. He offered to take me to his church but was quite shocked when I said I wanted to go to Catholic church.

Not a problem as YOU will be entering the church. You will not have to break up but if you are living together and having sexual relations you will probably be asked to stop. As a Lutheran he may have some serious reservations about the Catholic Church.

1. Does it matter what church I go to? There are a ton here in my conservative Italian state. Do I have to stick to one or can I keep church-hopping till I find one that I like?

Once Catholic you can go to any Catholic Church in the world. You will see the same thing every one you go to…maybe not in form but the sacraments are there.

1. Am I going to be treated any differently or held to a different standard because I have committed mortal sins in the past? What if I don’t want to stop committing them? Am I going to hell because I sleep with my boyfriend and had a promiscuous past?

This might not be what you want to hear but ill be honest with you…first off Baptism removes ALL sin…With that said if you wish to continue in sin why are you converting or attempting to become religious? Becoming a Catholic is a serious deal.

You have no idea where you are going nor does any of us (heaven, hell, purgatory)…your past transgressions can be rectified but if you continue to live in sin that’s a sure way get there no matter what religion you are in. If you plan on continuing to sleep with him (before marriage) you might want to really think about what you are getting into since that’s a sin (weather you are Catholic or not). BTW Lutherans also believe sex before marriage is a sin. All of us commit sin, Catholics use the sacrament of confession for forgiveness…one must be truly repentant to receive absolution. God does not forgive those who plan on just continuing down that same path.

1. Will I be treated any differently because I waited nineteen years to become a Catholic?

No not at all

1. Is someone going to teach me how to do church things? (take the communion after becoming Catholic, what to say during church, how and when to genuflect, confession, praying, how to memorize the things you have to say, praying the rosary, etc etc etc, stressful things like that)

You will learn the rites of the Church at RCIA and by attending Mass.

There is a big deal at the church and that is the Eucharist which IS the Body Blood Soul and Divinity under the appearance of bread and wine. Jesus is truly present at every Catholic Church. It is not a symbol, its not a invention it is the truth.

 

[PaulfromIowa]

I am sorry for your loss of your grandmother. You can pray for her reception into Heaven.

Your parents are not excommunicated for being divorced and married outside the Church. However, they are objectively in a state of sin because of that and not attending Mass. Your entry into the Church could be the sign for them to get right with God.

Normally, adult converts go through the RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults) process, which usually begins in the fall and ends at the Easter Vigil with Baptism, Confirmation, and First Communion. Is there a Newman Center or other Catholic ministry at your college? That might be the place to do RCIA if they have a good program.

A good basic intro to Catholicism is the book “Catholicism for Dummies” by Father John Trigilio. It is widely available.

 

[SAVINGRACE]

That pull you are feeling is the Holy Spirit. Remain open to it and follow it.

First step is contact your local parish/any parish and ask them about RCIA.

If you have other questions (re: your relationship etc) make a time to talk to the Priest.

Doesn’t matter what mortal sin you have committed if you are truly repentant confess them and you will be absolved. Do not be afraid of confession, Priests have heard every type of sin imaginable on this planet.

It is not your fault that you are 19 and now coming to the Church. Some don’t come to the Church until they are 57, some leave and then return. The Church will ALWAYS be there for you.

RCIA is the initiation of all adults into the Catholic faith, you will learn the basics and can ask as many questions as you like about the faith. It takes about 9 months and all adults new to the faith have to take this instruction.

A word of warning: Take it slow. As a convert I was so excited to have finally discovered HIS Church I went overboard. Reading a lot of books, some of basics and some “theologically deep” books which I had no business reading and struggled to understand. It became overwhelming because I had this insatiable desire to know EVERYTHING about the Church. I’m good now thanks to guidance from my Priest and RCIA instructor. One bite at a time, ponder it, savor it and then move on to the next bite.

There is so much I keep discovering about the Church either on this forum or my parish discussion groups, books I read. I get excited almost every day and thank God every day that I am Home.

Welcome.

 

[Colorad007]

1.) Find a good, holy priest and go from there. Usually it involves a process called RCIA that takes place within a parish, and usually you’ll be received into the Church at the following Easter vigil.

2.) You don’t have to leave your boyfriend, although becoming a Catholic may end up making things more difficult between you. In any case, being a Catholic involves following Christ, and that means living a holy, chaste life. Premarital sexual activity (which involves a large number of things beyond intercourse) is sinful. But, frankly, that is true whether or not you’re a Catholic. So if that is currently a part of your relationship with your boyfriend, it would be a really good to stop. I don’t think that you need to assume that becoming a Catholic will end your relationship with him, but I do think that you need to be prepared to do what it takes to follow our Lord, even if that means breaking up and moving on.

3.) Catholic dioceses and archdioceses are split up into different geographical boundaries called “parishes.” You ought give your own parish a try, but you aren’t necessarily bound to it. If your communal and liturgical experience is so much better at another parish—especially if it is particularly orthodox and your own parish is not—then you are free to attend that parish.

4.) You’ll be able to go to confession before being received into the Church, at which point you’ll have your mortal sins absolved. We are all sinners and so it is a big blessing to have the Sacrament of Penance available. Having unmarried sex is definitely a serious sin and, if done knowingly and willfully, is indeed a mortal sin. Nobody here can say who is and who is not going to hell, but I certainly wouldn’t want to be in mortal sin on the day of my death. You can seek forgiveness for your mortal sins literally this minute through a perfect act of contrition and a resolve to go to confession as soon as possible (even though, in your case, that might be a while). If you aren’t sorry for your mortal sins then either you don’t understand how destructive your actions are, or you don’t care. In either case, you are poisoning your soul and separating yourself from the God who made you. Obviously it is absurd to seek forgiveness for sins that you aren’t sorry for.

5.) Of course not. I was 23 when I was received into the Church—about seven years ago.

6.) Hopefully. You’ll find a sponsor through RCIA, and that is what RCIA is all about—initiating you into the faith. But the sad truth is that sometimes even that can be insufficient and you may very well need to find good Catholic friends and mentors to help you along the way. This forum can be a good resource, too.

You are certainly in my prayers.

 

[sunnyyy]

Thank you all so so much for your (name removed by moderator)ut, this is so helpful already! I am becoming so excited to start a new journey in my life and welcome God into my world. This all feels so right and I do not feel like I will regret this at all.

1. No, you will not be asked to break up with him. Yes, things will change.
   As an aside, I think your thought process toward your relationship and marriage will changed dramatically regardless of your religion.

Welcome and may God bless your journey.

Can you explain what you mean exactly though? How will it change?
As a side note my boyfriend did say he “hates Catholics” during a conversation one day but he also made it clear that he will not judge me poorly or treat me any less if I do convert. I honestly think that just has not met a lot of Catholics in his life.

“I also personally witnessed many phenomena…”

I’m curious as to what kind of phenomena you witnessed.

Here’s one that I found to be the most chilling:
As she reached her final couple of days on this earth, my grandmother and my mother and I were talking by her hospital bed in my house. During their conversation, she suddenly reached up her hands to the sky completely out of the blue and shook her hands, as if someone were trying to lift her up (like a child wanting to be picked up by their mother). She looked at my mom and said “I have no idea why I did that.”
The Catholic nurse that pronounced her dead two days later had never met her. She mentioned during our conversation that often, when nearing death, people would reach up to the sky, as if reaching out to God.

In addition, long story short, the series of events that led to my uncle arriving in Rhode Island from California to see my grandmother in her last moments was nothing short of a miracle. It is an incredibly long story but basically he was in the airport to go on a vacation to Grenada. My mom called him 15 mins before their plane boarded. They then went on a crazy chase to get onto a plane all the way across LAX that was about to leave. They somehow opened the pressurized door as well after being told that they could not get on.

Also, I have never felt as much of a “presence” as much as 1. during my time in church and 2. in my grandmother’s room while she was dying. It felt as if there was someone physically in the room watching what was happening, both times.

I am not going to reply to your questions. I would like to say how wonderful it is to hear of someone young intending to take such a big step. I am praying for you.

Thank you very much!! I have never been prayed for and this has already happened twice since deciding to do this and joining the forum. I must say it is a very good feeling. Thank you so much.

 

[sunnyyy]

Not a problem as YOU will be entering the church. You will not have to break up but if you are living together and having sexual relations you will probably be asked to stop. As a Lutheran he may have some serious reservations about the Catholic Church.

He does have reservations about Catholicism. In fact, he claims that he hates Catholics because they are “judgmental.” He does not know many Catholics so I am willing to forgive that generalization but he has also told me that he will not think less of me if I convert. But this has definitely occurred to me.

You have no idea where you are going nor does any of us (heaven, hell, purgatory)…your past transgressions can be rectified but if you continue to live in sin that’s a sure way get there no matter what religion you are in. If you plan on continuing to sleep with him (before marriage) you might want to really think about what you are getting into since that’s a sin (weather you are Catholic or not). BTW Lutherans also believe sex before marriage is a sin. All of us commit sin, Catholics use the sacrament of confession for forgiveness…one must be truly repentant to receive absolution. God does not forgive those who plan on just continuing down that same path.

This is something I am confused about… No matter the religion, Catholic, Lutheran, Baptist, Jewish, etc etc etc, I have never met a person in my generation that has any reservations about premarital sex. I am not saying it is not a sin, but does that mean everyone is going to hell together? I went to Catholic church with my religious then-boyfriend at his parish during the time in which I was sleeping with him. Does that mean God is angry at all of us? Do these people, including myself, have to go to confession every time we commit this sin? Again I’m not defending it I just don’t understand why people so widely do it if it’s a sin. Even Catholics.

There is a big deal at the church and that is the Eucharist which IS the Body Blood Soul and Divinity under the appearance of bread and wine. Jesus is truly present at every Catholic Church. It is not a symbol, its not a invention it is the truth.

I have never believed anything more than this statement. I did not know that when I went to Catholic church twice last summer but I swear to you that I truly felt something in the church that moved me almost to tears.

That pull you are feeling is the Holy Spirit. Remain open to it and follow it.

I cannot describe that as anything but awesome and incredible. I have always been somewhat of a non-believer, feeling that religion was unneccessary and that science is the utmost truth. But I really did feel God! God was physically with me! It feels so good that I really felt it myself, I didn’t need someone to tell me and force me to believe it. This is why I am so much happier doing this on my own and not by birth or marriage.

Priests have heard every type of sin imaginable on this planet.

It is not your fault that you are 19 and now coming to the Church. Some don’t come to the Church until they are 57, some leave and then return. The Church will ALWAYS be there for you.

Very good point about the priests. But I think that what I really need is something unconditional that I can always go back to, something permanent.

A word of warning: Take it slow. As a convert I was so excited to have finally discovered HIS Church I went overboard. Reading a lot of books, some of basics and some “theologically deep” books which I had no business reading and struggled to understand. It became overwhelming because I had this insatiable desire to know EVERYTHING about the Church. I’m good now thanks to guidance from my Priest and RCIA instructor. One bite at a time, ponder it, savor it and then move on to the next bite.

There is so much I keep discovering about the Church either on this forum or my parish discussion groups, books I read. I get excited almost every day and thank God every day that I am Home.

We have a lot in common! I think I’ve read this whole website!!

3.) Catholic dioceses and archdioceses are split up into different geographical boundaries called “parishes.” You ought give your own parish a try, but you aren’t necessarily bound to it. If your communal and liturgical experience is so much better at another parish—especially if it is particularly orthodox and your own parish is not—then you are free to attend that parish.

My grandmother’s funeral service was at my parish, so ideally I would like to continue visiting that one. There is a really beautiful one down the street (that she got married in, actually) but I think my university’s small Catholic center may be the most convenient. It is good to know that I am not stuck though.

 

[Thorolfr]

BTW Lutherans also believe sex before marriage is a sin.

It kind of depends on what kind of Lutherans you’re talking about. While many ELCA Lutherans certainly think that marriage is a good idea for a couple, if two people are cohabiting in a committed relationship and having sex outside of marriage, I’m not certain that this would be considered a serious sin and they would certainly still be welcome in an ELCA church and would still be allowed to take communion.

 

[eightydeuce82]

This is something I am confused about… No matter the religion, Catholic, Lutheran, Baptist, Jewish, etc etc etc, I have never met a person in my generation that has any reservations about premarital sex. I am not saying it is not a sin, but does that mean everyone is going to hell together? I went to Catholic church with my religious then-boyfriend at his parish during the time in which I was sleeping with him. Does that mean God is angry at all of us? Do these people, including myself, have to go to confession every time we commit this sin? Again I’m not defending it I just don’t understand why people so widely do it if it’s a sin. Even Catholics.

That’s because most people have lost the sense of sin. I blame Protestantism and once saved always saved and Martin Luther’s snow covered dung heap and the theology surrounding that. Most protestants simply believe that once you accept Jesus salvation is guaranteed…which is found nowhere in the bible or in anyone’s understanding in Christian history until the protestant revolt. In general Luke warm Christians/what ever they are and the secular society have much to do with the loss of the repercussions for sin. All protestant churches at one time condemned divorce and premarital sex things started to change with the culture in the 1900s and slowly the normalization of things once considered big no-no’s were completely ok. Of course im sure every generation has had its problems however this generation and the few before in particular has really normalized things that were once frowned upon. Only one church has stood firm in all of this and that’s the Catholic Church. We are counter cultural and will not change our beliefs because society says its ok. We cant anyway because these things were given by God who are we to change them.

I’m sure God is not pleased with us. How could he be? As for your previous boyfriend…that’s what’s called living a contradiction. Religious on the exterior. There is one thing you will start to notice as you get deeper into Catholicism and you take it seriously and that’s the awareness of your own personal sin. I call it catholic guilt.Yes you would have to go to confession but remember you will only be forgiven if you are truly repentant. You cant just go confess and have every intention to continue in sin. Even if the priest absolves you that doesn’t mean God forgave you. The priest only knows what you tell him so he is basing his actions on what you say. God sees your heart and knows if you are truly repentant. Its not a game of ill just go to confession and get my sins whipped away. It doesn’t work like that.

 

[eightydeuce82]

It kind of depends on what kind of Lutherans you’re talking about. While many ELCA Lutherans certainly think that marriage is a good idea for a couple, if two people are cohabiting in a committed relationship and having sex outside of marriage, I’m not certain that this would be considered a serious sin and they would certainly still be welcome in an ELCA church and would still be allowed to take communion.

Of course that’s because your communion isn’t the body of Christ so why not just violate Paul’s warning?

 

[InNomineDomini]

This is something I am confused about… No matter the religion, Catholic, Lutheran, Baptist, Jewish, etc etc etc, I have never met a person in my generation that has any reservations about premarital sex. I am not saying it is not a sin, but does that mean everyone is going to hell together? I went to Catholic church with my religious then-boyfriend at his parish during the time in which I was sleeping with him. Does that mean God is angry at all of us? Do these people, including myself, have to go to confession every time we commit this sin? Again I’m not defending it I just don’t understand why people so widely do it if it’s a sin. Even Catholics.

This kind of assumes people would stop doing it if they knew it was a sin.

The basic answer is this: people fornicate because they find it pleasurable, because they’re ignorant, and because they’re apathetic about whether or not God is offended at their actions.

Our culture tells such people that there is nothing wrong with the act, and they readily believe it, because they want to. This is a lie, and yes, it is a lie that leads many people to Hell. While it’s true that the vast ignorance of our culture may reduce culpability, or personal guilt, it’s also true that we shouldn’t bet on it. Only God knows our culpability, and while there are those who truly are so ignorant that God may give them extra chances, we shouldn’t overestimate our own stupidity. We are not so stupid as to not know that sex is sacred, and that we shouldn’t engage in it like a pig rolling around in mud.

Not only must this sin be confessed should, God forbid, someone fall into it, but they must also STOP DOING IT.

Yes, God is angry at those who commit this sin. But there’s good news: God is also merciful. But don’t forget the crucial element to the Catholic understanding of mercy: contrition and repentance. God extends His mercy to those who respond to His graces, and who repent of their sins. His mercy does not mean that He allows people to do whatever their sinful nature wants to do. He cuts off all evil from Himself.

… but, as St. Alphonsus de’ Ligouri taught, God may very well permit a certain amount of mortal sins, and after that point, He may refuse to give such a person any further graces to repent.

We must avoid presumption and avoid sinning, because we never know when our souls will be required of us, and we never know when God will cease giving us the graces to repent.

Moreover, if we spend our whole lives giving in easily to such sins, we will inevitably form a habit. This habit will make it extremely difficult to escape temptations when we are dying, which in turn will make it extremely difficult to die in a state of grace. Dying is a battle against temptation, and we need to form habits that will make it easy to resist temptations, not those that will make it easy to give in to them. You don’t want to spend your dying moments recalling with pleasure the sins you committed in your life.

Don’t play with this, but repent, and learn to control your appetites.

 

[eightydeuce82]

This kind of assumes people would stop doing it if they knew it was a sin.

The basic answer is this: people fornicate because they find it pleasurable, because they’re ignorant, and because they’re apathetic about whether or not God is offended at their actions.

Our culture tells such people that there is nothing wrong with the act, and they readily believe it, because they want to. This is a lie, and yes, it is a lie that leads many people to Hell. While it’s true that the vast ignorance of our culture may reduce culpability, or personal guilt, it’s also true that we shouldn’t bet on it. Only God knows our culpability, and while there are those who truly are so ignorant that God may give them extra chances, we shouldn’t overestimate our own stupidity. We are not so stupid as to not know that sex is sacred, and that we shouldn’t engage in it like a pig rolling around in mud.

Not only must this sin be confessed should, God forbid, someone fall into it, but they must also STOP DOING IT.

Yes, God is angry at those who commit this sin. But there’s good news: God is also merciful. But don’t forget the crucial element to the Catholic understanding of mercy: contrition and repentance. God extends His mercy to those who respond to His graces, and who repent of their sins. His mercy does not mean that He allows people to do whatever their sinful nature wants to do. He cuts off all evil from Himself.

… but, as St. Alphonsus de’ Ligouri taught, God may very well permit a certain amount of mortal sins, and after that point, He may refuse to give such a person any further graces to repent.

We must avoid presumption and avoid sinning, because we never know when our souls will be required of us, and we never know when God will cease giving us the graces to repent.

Moreover, if we spend our whole lives giving in easily to such sins, we will inevitably form a habit. This habit will make it extremely difficult to escape temptations when we are dying, which in turn will make it extremely difficult to die in a state of grace. Dying is a battle against temptation, and we need to form habits that will make it easy to resist temptations, not those that will make it easy to give in to them. You don’t want to spend your dying moments recalling with pleasure the sins you committed in your life.

Don’t play with this, but repent, and learn to control your appetites.

Awesome Post!!!

 

[Muzhik]

I don’t doubt that your boyfriend finds Catholics judgmental because, frankly, we are judgmental. There are things upon which reasonable people can disagree, such as the justice of a particular war. But, there are things where Catholics say “this is right” and “this is wrong” and no amount of cultural pressure will cause or force us to change that teaching.

During one of the great Roman persecutions, a Christian author (Tertullian) wrote to the emperor explaining that his actions with the persecutions were having the opposite effect: instead of destroying Christianity, “The blood of the martyrs is the seed of the Church.” I’m mentioning this because we are at the start of a new period of Christian (and especially Catholic) persecution in America. I won’t go into any details – a brief search of Catholic Answers Forum will give you more than enough examples.

I’m bringing this up because no matter how “accepting” the local culture has been about Christianity and Christian morals, the Church has always been counter-cultural. Every secular culture has pushed “approval of the masses” as the marker of whether or not an action or a belief was good or evil. The Church has always been judgmental over which actions are good or evil, regardless of the local culture. Now we are being told by those in power that we must change our teachings in order to “promote the advancement of humanity” and to avoid being on the wrong side of history. Frankly, I’d rather be on the wrong side of history than be on the wrong side of God.

I will keep you and your boyfriend in my prayers. If you continue to seek to join the Church, be advised that you will find more and more rejection as time goes on. BUT, also be advised that the great “something” that you felt in the church, which is the physical presence of Jesus in the Tabernacle on the altar, the spiritual presence of the Holy Spirit with Jesus, and the unseen presence of multitudes of angels who constantly worship and adore Jesus in every Tabernacle of every Catholic Church in the world, will always be there to guide, protect, and nurture you regardless of how the world rejects you.

“Wherever the Catholic sun doth shine
There’s food, and mirth, and good red wine.
At least I’ve always found it so,
Benedicamus Domino!”

 

[sunnyyy]

Thank you all so much, I am so appreciative of the commentary that I am receiving!! I think that it would be selfish and shallow to decide not to take this step welcoming God and Jesus into my life just because I want to continue having sex. At my age, I am sure that I will be married in due time and will be free to do whatever I want with my husband at that time. Now I understand why my boyfriend and I may experience a different relationship dynamic.

I do not think that sex is enough of a pleasure to decide that it is more important that being faithful to God.

And in addition… I discussed wanting to become Catholic in general with my boyfriend yesterday. Already he has begun coming up with his own “Catholic rules” that HE feels that I should abide by. For example, my best friend texted me yesterday. She is a very very firm atheist and hates religion in general. I mentioned to Manny that I wouldn’t talk to her about becoming Catholic until all has been said and done, lest she try to change my mind. He told me that not volunteering to everyone and anyone information about my religion without being asked is “un-Catholic” and that already I am violating the religion that I am not yet even part of. I asked him if I am supposed to go outside and yell to the city streets that I am a Catholic (which I am NOT right now). I think that unfortunately our true colors are going to come out and that things might seriously change in our relationship. Is this God’s plan for me? Would He let me crash and burn a relationship that was meant to be?

 

[sunnyyy]

Also- regarding “parish-shopping…” is it okay to attend, say, St. Peter’s Church in Warwick on Sundays, and the Catholic Center at my university during the week? based on my location during the week and on weekends it will be very inconvenient and potentially impossible to stay at one parish every day.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Also- regarding “parish-shopping…” is it okay to attend, say, St. Peter’s Church in Warwick on Sundays, and the Catholic Center at my university during the week? based on my location during the week and on weekends it will be very inconvenient and potentially impossible to stay at one parish every day.

Yes, attend where you wish. You are going to do just fine. I can tell.

 

[sunnyyy]

Yes, attend where you wish. You are going to do just fine. I can tell.

Thank you!! It turns out one of my friends from college is a practicing Catholic and is tight with the Catholic Center on campus. He offered his support to me and told me who to speak to to begin my conversion. His girlfriend is converting as well from Baptism and he said there are many people I can meet and a club I can join. I think this is definitely a good decision. I already have gained so much support.