Becoming a nun if marriage is annulled

[JPHI]

Is it possible to become a nun even if you have been married? I have been married for 8 years (no children) and have been thinking for years, that I wished that I had become a nun when I was younger and am wondering if the possibility is still open to me. Can the marriage be annulled so that I can seek life long fulfillment? Or would that be an immoral option? I want more than anything to live my life purely for God (not for a “career” or a spouse/significant other"). Does anyone have any advice/insight on this?

thank you so much!
J

 

[lizaanne]

A better place to ask this is probably in the vocations forum. But I do believe that there are orders that do accept women who have been married and are now widowed.

~Liza

 

[JPHI]

thank you! I will try posting it there.

 

[bkayw]

We have a Carmelite Nun in our parish who has 4 grown children. She and her husband are divorced.

 

[Vico]

Is it possible to become a nun even if you have been married? I have been married for 8 years (no children) and have been thinking for years, that I wished that I had become a nun when I was younger and am wondering if the possibility is still open to me. Can the marriage be annulled so that I can seek life long fulfillment? Or would that be an immoral option? I want more than anything to live my life purely for God (not for a “career” or a spouse/significant other"). Does anyone have any advice/insight on this?

thank you so much!
J

It cannot be anulled if it is a truly valid marriage. In the Eastern Catholic Churches there is the possiblity of a validly married couple to both be consecrated to the religious life and live apart.

 

[Cristiano]

Is it possible to become a nun even if you have been married? I have been married for 8 years (no children) and have been thinking for years, that I wished that I had become a nun when I was younger and am wondering if the possibility is still open to me. Can the marriage be annulled so that I can seek life long fulfillment? Or would that be an immoral option? I want more than anything to live my life purely for God (not for a “career” or a spouse/significant other"). Does anyone have any advice/insight on this?

thank you so much!
J

Are you married right now? A marriage cannot be annulled just because you want to seek a life long fulfillment. A marriage is valid or not, and that is independent of what you want to do in life. I think that you should talk to a spiritual director.

 

[Cristiano]

It cannot be anulled if it is a truly valid marriage. In the Eastern Catholic Churches there is the possiblity of a validly married couple to both be consecrated to the religious life and live apart.

That is possible in the Latin Church too; however, it needs specific approval from the holy father.

 

[mdgspencer]

If you are presently married, you can only get an annulment if there are grounds for an annulment. Wanting to become a nun are not grounds. But for all I know of course you may have grounds for some reason.
If you could become a nun with an annulment? This is beyond my knowledge. You can check yourself. You could see the vacations director of an order ot two in your area. Then you could see if orders have rules about this or if there is an impediment in Church law.

 

[HCC]

This is the most comprehensive, wonderful site. It lists many, many traditional women’s religious orders:

womenreligiousorders.blogspot.com/

*One note: When you get to the bottom of the page, click older posts to continue to the next page of orders.

 

[Vico]

That is possible in the Latin Church too; however, it needs specific approval from the holy father.

I was curious so I looked it up.

A spouse with an existing marriage cannot enter the novitiate: CIC 643.1.1, and CCEO 450. A widowed spouse can.

CIC 1151-1155, and CCEO 863-866 cover separation due to adultery or mental or physical danger to spouse or children.

But the Eastern Code CCEO 864.2 also allows for the possibility of an agreed separation of spouses so one can choose the consecrated life, even without an indult from the Holy See.

Canon 864

1. If either of the spouses causes serious danger to the other spouse or to the children, or renders common life too hard, that spouse gives the other a legitimate cause for separating in virtue of a decree of the local hierarch, or even on his or her own authority if there is danger in delay.
2. In the particular law of individual Churches sui iuris other reasons can be established according to the customs of the people and circumstances of the place.
3. In all cases, when the reason for the separation ceases, the conjugal life is to be restored, unless it is established otherwise by competent authority.

 

[FirstCalled]

This is why you are supposed to choose you lifelong vocation carefully.

You have chosen marriage, it cannot be broken because you want to be a nun.
You have been married and are to be open to children. Till one of your deaths.

 

[LilyM]

You could see the vacations director of an order ot two in your area. Then you could see if orders have rules about this or if there is an impediment in Church law.

Nuns have so many holidays that they need someone specially to direct them?

I think you mean vOcations

 

[puzzleannie]

Is it possible to become a nun even if you have been married? I have been married for 8 years (no children) and have been thinking for years, that I wished that I had become a nun when I was younger and am wondering if the possibility is still open to me. Can the marriage be annulled so that I can seek life long fulfillment? Or would that be an immoral option? I want more than anything to live my life purely for God (not for a “career” or a spouse/significant other"). Does anyone have any advice/insight on this?

thank you so much!
J

if you are married, that is your vocation at this time in your life. pray for strength to be faithful in that vocation and to live for God through this fidelity to your husband and the duties of this state in life. No power on earth can annul a valid marriage.

 

[OraLabora]

Shortly after I became a Benedictine oblate, I told my spiritual director that I wished I had discovered the monastery 20 years earlier, before I had a wife and kids.

His reply brought me back to reality: “The Lord has brought you to exactly the place He wants you to be”. In other words, as husband and father.

I think the same applies to the OP. Seeking religious life is certainly not in itself grounds for annulment. Perhaps the OP should explore other routes to sharing the charism of a religious order, either participating in a third order, or as a lay associate or as I have as a Benedictine Oblate. There are many graces from doing so. Many orders have programs for lay associates.

 

[ProVobis]

Most orders I’ve heard of take the vows of obedience, poverty, and chastity. Is the married state necessarily a barrier? I guess it depends on the example or precedence it would set for that order.

 

[OraLabora]

Most orders I’ve heard of take the vows of obedience, poverty, and chastity. Is the married state necessarily a barrier? I guess it depends on the example or precedence it would set for that order.

Yes it is a barrier:

Can. 643 §1. The following are admitted to the novitiate invalidly:

…

2/ a spouse, while the marriage continues to exist;

And:

Can. 645 §1. Before candidates are admitted to the novitiate, they must show proof of baptism, confirmation, and free status.

(Code of Canon Law).

 

[malphono]

One problem with asking such a question in a forum like this is that there are many variables. For example, irrespective of the absence of children, I notice nothing said about being “happily married” or “I married my high school sweetheart” or “I was coerced into marriage” or anything of the like. Nor do I see any indication of the position of the other spouse, or even if the other spouse is aware of the OP’s thoughts. The list can go on and on, but in short, there’s scant information. That could have been intentional or it could been an oversight, but either way, it’s the OP’s business.

It seems to me to be impossible to engage in any discussion of “annulment” here. In the end, I think the only thing that can be discussed is whether it is possible for someone who has obtained an annulment to enter religious life. To that one, single question, I believe the answer is yes. As far as I’m concerned, the rest is between the OP and her confessor/spiritual director.

 

[Vico]

Most orders I’ve heard of take the vows of obedience, poverty, and chastity. Is the married state necessarily a barrier? I guess it depends on the example or precedence it would set for that order.

The rules are different for Diocesan priests who do not make vows and do not promise poverty, than they are for the religious orders.

There is a long tradition of married priests, but nowadays, for the Eastern Catholic and for some converting Anglican priests to the Latin Church, priests may be married, but may not marry after ordination. These are approved individually because the practice varies in different dioceses throughout the world.

 

[mdgspencer]

But of course if someone is married, it seems unlikely that an order would take a woman whose husband would move into her cell with her.

Most orders I’ve heard of take the vows of obedience, poverty, and chastity. Is the married state necessarily a barrier? I guess it depends on the example or precedence it would set for that order.

 

[JReducation]

Is it possible to become a nun even if you have been married? I have been married for 8 years (no children) and have been thinking for years, that I wished that I had become a nun when I was younger and am wondering if the possibility is still open to me. Can the marriage be annulled so that I can seek life long fulfillment? Or would that be an immoral option? I want more than anything to live my life purely for God (not for a “career” or a spouse/significant other"). Does anyone have any advice/insight on this?

thank you so much!
J

If the marriage is valid, then that is your vocation. The Church cannot declare a marriage bond invalid so that one may pursue one’s life-long dream of being a religious. This would violate the bond and do grave injustice to the other spouse. It makes no difference whether the couple is together or not. The marriage need not be a sacrament either. A natural marriage can be valid and therefore, there is no ground of a decree of nullity.

For a decree of nullity to be granted, you cannot argue that you always wanted to be a nun or that you wanted to be a nun when you were younger. You would have to prove that there was a canonical impediment or a natural impediment that made it impossible to marry.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF