Becoming catholic has ruined my romatic life

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kage_ar said:
Big huge hugs. My best friend is a black woman and is in the process of Conversion, she wonders why there are so few brown faces in the pews at Mass each Sunday.

Are you aware of this apostolate? nbccongress.org/ There are tons of events -

If marriage is your vocation, keep searching for a devout Catholic man. Sacramental marriage with someone who shares your faith is the most precious thing. There is nothing more attractive than a man who goes to Adoration 🙂

Keep your head high, keep a smile on your face and do not settle.
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Thanks for suggestion. But I try to avoid things that are for one ethic group. I think if we really want to get beyond, then we should just move on and stop organizing things are everybody 's tribe. I just want to be a catholic. No adjectives!

Kendy
 
puzzleannie said:
Maybe your Mr. Right likes a woman with more curves? seriously, it is more likely that since becoming Catholic you have raised your standards considerably, and somebody that might have been a possible formerly is now a “forget it”. Would you really want to spend a lifetime with some of those shallow jerks who would even put race on the radar screen? spend your spiritual energy discerning your vocation, and if it turns out to be marriage, trust that God will put the right man in your path (which is not to say you cannot be out looking at the same time).
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Well, they shallow jerks who put race on their radar are orthodox catholics. The guys I dated before would never be caught dead saying a rosary, but they were open-minded.

Kendy
 
Katzzzz said:
You can still be a practising Catholic and marry outside your faith.
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Marrying a non-Catholic is NOT a good idea. The primary purpose of spouses is to help each other (and their children) reach heaven. This would be greatly impeded by marrying a non-Catholic.
 
Lepanto said:
Marrying a non-Catholic is NOT a good idea. The primary purpose of spouses is to help each other (and their children) reach heaven. This would be greatly impeded by marrying a non-Catholic.
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I agree, but being single is impeded my happiness.
 
Hi Kendy,

Well I’m an orthodox Catholic man and I’ve dated a black woman before. It’s far more important to me that a woman be Catholic than what her race might be.

And please don’t get too thin. Curves are very feminine!
 
Dear sister in Christ,

When i was single these very thoughts crossed my mind too, anxious of finding my pair. When I least expected, the Lord blessed me with a woman. It happens, just not on our pace.

I know that it’s easier said than done, because I heard this same advice then. Believe me, it made absolute sense when I met my future wife.

Just do not precipitate yourself settling for anyone, Catholic or not. Your soul mate is out there, being prepared by the Lord as He prepares you.

Keep the hope in prayers and trust in the Lord, for He knows your needs and cares for you. He has wonderful surprises for you in stock.

:blessyou:
 
Augustine said:
Dear sister in Christ,

When i was single these very thoughts crossed my mind too, anxious of finding my pair. When I least expected, the Lord blessed me with a woman. It happens, just not on our pace.

I know that it’s easier said than done, because I heard this same advice then. Believe me, it made absolute sense when I met my future wife.

Just do not precipitate yourself settling for anyone, Catholic or not. Your soul mate is out there, being prepared by the Lord as He prepares you.

Keep the hope in prayers and trust in the Lord, for He knows your needs and cares for you. He has wonderful surprises for you in stock.

:blessyou:
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Thanks for your encouragement. 🙂
 
I can’t figure out this dating scene. It seems that some are always coupled with someone, so to speak; then others that are every so often, then us where it’s “dry gulch city.” Even though I’ve been around quite awhile I don’t get it.

John
 
Kendy - no advice, just prayers. I remember following your conversion (reversion?) story and admiring how much you sacrificed in leaving the fellowship in your former church. I have a 19 year old daughter who I pray finds a good Catholic man (who’s willing to raise my future grandchildren in St. Louis:D ) so I understand a bit where your mother is coming from.

Kris
 
kwitz said:
Kendy - no advice, just prayers. I remember following your conversion (reversion?) story and admiring how much you sacrificed in leaving the fellowship in your former church. I have a 19 year old daughter who I pray finds a good Catholic man (who’s willing to raise my future grandchildren in St. Louis:D ) so I understand a bit where your mother is coming from.

Kris
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My mother swears that I would have foundf a guy if I had stayed a protestant. There were definitely more single younf men at my last church. 😦
 
A long time ago I heard a radio talk show host in Los Angeles (Ira Fistell) say there was only one race: the human one and this was before DNA results have proven the exact same thing.

John
 
Cordelil said:
A long time ago I heard a radio talk show host in Los Angeles (Ira Fistell) say there was only one race: the human one and this was before DNA results have proven the exact same thing.

John
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Well, the world doesn’t work that way.
 
Kendy, I just thought of some advice that might help. You mentioned people conservative white and Hispanic people don’t seem interested in you. My first thought was that they were simply not interested because of your race (physical features), but I realized that there might be something more underlying.

Our society has a tendency to cling stereotypes to particular races. Many people of these other races might find certain black stereotypes unattractive and because it’s all they have known, they tend to attach it to everyone of that race naturally. You’ll need to show that you’re not that…that those stereotypes don’t define you as an African-American woman. You will find someone (whether in your race or outside). The most important thing is that they are Catholic and they have the love of God in their heart and that they are orthodox.

One thing to keep in mind is that these people are conservative. You’re going to have to do a lot more work on winning them over.

I hope my advice has promote some ideas in you.
 
Kendy,

Does you parish have a group for young singles? If not, you might want to look up a parish that has one. Not that you should get into such a group expecting to find a mate, but just so that you can find fellowship among peers of your age in the same state of life.

Also, consider changing to a parish with a younger demographics, perhaps one near a college.

:blessyou:
 
Kendy said:
Well, the world doesn’t work that way.
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Kendy,

Yes, I know how the world generally works. I like to read a lot and awhile ago I saw where there is an increase in black and white marriages. The article also said that Asians and Hispanics are not marrying out of their groups as much as before. Way back I learned that Native Americans (aka Indians) wed others more than they do themselves - up in the 70% range.

I was married once and it was a disaster that went on for quite some time but ended in divorce. So much for ancient history.

I wish you luck in the dating world.

John
 
More often then not I wouldn’t be interested in an African-American lady for the SOLE reason that I would assume that she wasn’t Catholic. If I knew that she was, I would be just as likely to show interest in her as a white or hispanic woman.
 
Image_of_God said:
Kendy, I just thought of some advice that might help. You mentioned people conservative white and Hispanic people don’t seem interested in you. My first thought was that they were simply not interested because of your race (physical features), but I realized that there might be something more underlying.

Our society has a tendency to cling stereotypes to particular races. Many people of these other races might find certain black stereotypes unattractive and because it’s all they have known, they tend to attach it to everyone of that race naturally. You’ll need to show that you’re not that…that those stereotypes don’t define you as an African-American woman. You will find someone (whether in your race or outside). The most important thing is that they are Catholic and they have the love of God in their heart and that they are orthodox.

One thing to keep in mind is that these people are conservative. You’re going to have to do a lot more work on winning them over.

I hope my advice has promote some ideas in you.
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With all do respect, I should not have to do anything to win anybody over. If you spend five minutes, you will realize that I am nobody’s “baby mama” or whatever stereotypes you may have. And I am not the only black person who is this way. Does Condi Rice ring a bell? Also, I am not even African-American, I was born in Haiti!.
 
Kendy said:
With all do respect, I should not have to do anything to win anybody over. If you spend five minutes, you will realize that I am nobody’s “baby mama” or whatever stereotypes you may have. And I am not the only black person who is this. Does Condi Rice ring a bell? Also, I am not even African-American, I was born in Haiti!.
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I wasn’t meaning to be unkind and I didn’t mean “win over” in a literal sense. I meant it as to change someones previous views much like you “win over” converts to a particular faith. It means to change their mind.

That’s aren’t the stereotypes that I hold. I’m only saying that they do exist. I never said you were anyone’s “baby mama.” You have totally misunderstood what I’ve written.

All that I’m saying is that in America, people are group by race and certain things attributed to them. Is it wrong? Yes. But that doesn’t change things.

I was only trying to help. It’s seems that you have taken it the wrong way and perhaps I shouldn’t give anymore ideas.🤷
 
Image_of_God said:
I wasn’t meaning to be unkind and I didn’t mean “win over” in a literal sense. I meant it as to change someones previous views much like you “win over” converts to a particular faith. It means to change their mind.

That’s aren’t the stereotypes that I hold. I’m only saying that they do exist. I never said you were anyone’s “baby mama.” You have totally misunderstood what I’ve written.

All that I’m saying is that in America, people are group by race and certain things attributed to them. Is it wrong? Yes. But that doesn’t change things.

I was only trying to help. It’s seems that you have taken it the wrong way and perhaps I shouldn’t give anymore ideas.🤷
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I didn’t think you were saying these were your ideas were yours. But I did think you were saying that I should try to get peope to change their minds. And what I am saying is that if anybody gets to know me they will be quickly relieved of their stereotypes, but they have to take the five minutes. I wasn’t mad at you. I am sorry for being harsh.
 
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