Becoming Catholic without parents' approval

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EveO

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Hello everybody, I hope I’m welcome here even though I’m not really Catholic (yet).🙂 I registered here in hope some of you may have some tips for me on converting to Catholic religion.

First, some background. I come from an atheist family and have always been raised as an atheist, my parents always teaching me there is no God, I was never educated in religion, taken to church, baptised, etc. For many years, I have accepted that as some fact due to being what was known and normal to me. As I got older, I found out more about different religions, including Catholicism (which happens to be the most common religion in my area, too - I’m from Europe) and I first started to really like some of the things about it, not really the religion itself at first, but things like being pro-life, being kind and helping others, etc. Then we read some Bible stories in a class in high school, and they just made more sense to me than any other history, science etc. I’ve learned before. With time, I started to believe there was a God, and I found myself reading Bible, although I can’t have a Bible at home due to my atheist parents and I had to do this at a libary and/or online. I feel bad for having to hide it from my parents, but as soon as I even try to discuss religion with my family, it’s a lost argument. I once went as far as said that I wanted to get baptised, which they called stupid and said I was just being brain washed. I feel like I can’t fight against them, as they’re still my parents (and I still love them very much) and after all, I’m still only 17. But I really would like to start living a religious life, however my parents are very against it. There’s no way I could go to a mass with them approving, or even just buy a Bible. I don’t want to lie to them either, I just want them to accept it. Should I even try with them any longer or just wait until I’m 18 and have all the rights? Even then, I would much prefer it if they could accept it somehow, as I value family highly, even if our religious views differ, and don’t want us to grow apart because of that.

I’m really open to any suggestions you might have, wether it is to keep trying to discuss it with my parents (and how) or to leave it alone for now. Thank you for any help:)
 
I would suggest that you contact a priest in a local Catholic Church and ask for guidance on this matter. Introduce yourself and your desire to be Catholic, your situation regarding your parents, and what options you have for studying the faith until you can officially begin the Catechumenate.
 
First of all - you are welcome here.

Second - it is not disrespectful of your parents to pursue your faith. Tell them that if they ask about you attending mass or reading the bible. Ask them what they are afraid of?

17 is old enough to begin your own faith journey.

This country was based on Freedom OF Religion, not Freedom FROM Religion.

Peace,
John
 
[SIGN]Salve, amicus![/SIGN]

I’d say go for it.
you don’t have to take your parents to Mass with you. If they don’t want to follow Christ then why force them?

I hope this helps!
Schatzl
 
JohnMPhilomena said:
First of all - you are welcome here.

Second - it is not disrespectful of your parents to pursue your faith. Tell them that if they ask about you attending mass or reading the bible. Ask them what they are afraid of?

17 is old enough to begin your own faith journey.

This country was based on Freedom OF Religion, not Freedom FROM Religion.

Peace,
John
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Well said:thumbsup:
 
If they won’t let you go to mass or own a bible then they won’t let you. I would never advise a minor to sneak around or lie about where they are. That’s dangerous and parents have a right to know where their kids are.

I’m going to tell you the same thing that someone told me when I was 14 and interested in Druidism against my mother’s wishes: It is an old religion and it will still be around when you are 18.
 
JohnMPhilomena said:
First of all - you are welcome here.

Second - it is not disrespectful of your parents to pursue your faith. Tell them that if they ask about you attending mass or reading the bible. Ask them what they are afraid of?

17 is old enough to begin your own faith journey.

This country was based on Freedom OF Religion, not Freedom FROM Religion.

Peace,
John
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But just as we recognize the right of catholics to insist that their 17 year olds go to mass, other parents have the right to insist that their children don’t.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
But just as we recognize the right of catholics to insist that their 17 year olds go to mass, other parents have the right to insist that their children don’t.
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You’re statement assumes that Catholicism is equal to atheism.
 
EveO said:
Hello everybody, I hope I’m welcome here even though I’m not really Catholic (yet).🙂 I registered here in hope some of you may have some tips for me on converting to Catholic religion.

First, some background. I come from an atheist family and have always been raised as an atheist, my parents always teaching me there is no God, I was never educated in religion, taken to church, baptised, etc. For many years, I have accepted that as some fact due to being what was known and normal to me. As I got older, I found out more about different religions, including Catholicism (which happens to be the most common religion in my area, too - I’m from Europe) and I first started to really like some of the things about it, not really the religion itself at first, but things like being pro-life, being kind and helping others, etc. Then we read some Bible stories in a class in high school, and they just made more sense to me than any other history, science etc. I’ve learned before. With time, I started to believe there was a God, and I found myself reading Bible, although I can’t have a Bible at home due to my atheist parents and I had to do this at a libary and/or online. I feel bad for having to hide it from my parents, but as soon as I even try to discuss religion with my family, it’s a lost argument. I once went as far as said that I wanted to get baptised, which they called stupid and said I was just being brain washed. I feel like I can’t fight against them, as they’re still my parents (and I still love them very much) and after all, I’m still only 17. But I really would like to start living a religious life, however my parents are very against it. There’s no way I could go to a mass with them approving, or even just buy a Bible. I don’t want to lie to them either, I just want them to accept it. Should I even try with them any longer or just wait until I’m 18 and have all the rights? Even then, I would much prefer it if they could accept it somehow, as I value family highly, even if our religious views differ, and don’t want us to grow apart because of that.

I’m really open to any suggestions you might have, wether it is to keep trying to discuss it with my parents (and how) or to leave it alone for now. Thank you for any help:)
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Welcome, EveO. If you are really interested in Catholicism, this is as good a place to start as any. Catholic.com is a great site, and I encourage you to visit often.

Just because mom & dad won’t let you go to mass, or own a Bible, does not mean you can’t begin your faith-journey now.

~Pray. I would suggest you learn the “Sign of the Cross”, the “Our Father” and the “Hail Mary” for starters (catholicity.com/prayer/prayers.html). Also, pray in your own words for God to help others, right wrongs, care for those in need, and to watch over those you love. In addition to that, when praying, be sure to thank God for His blessings that He has given you and your family. You can pray silently, or out loud before bed, and in the morning (the ususal prayer times for Christians). Many early Christians were not allowed to worship publicly, or own literature. They kept the Faith through prayer.

~Ask questions. Self explanitory.

~Do some research. I hate to say it, but there are a lot of bad sites out there that are not accurate about Catholicism, or downright anti-Catholic. I don’t think anyone here would steer you wrong. This is a “safe” site. Oh, and STAY AWAY from the Sede Vacantists and their websites. They are NOT true Catholics, and will definately lead you in the wrong direction. Please visit frequently, and we all look forward to chatting with you in the future.
 
Also, depending on where in Europe the OP lives there may be laws in place protecting his reigious freedom.
 
devoutchristian said:
You’re statement assumes that Catholicism is equal to atheism.
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I was responding to someone trying to argue freedom of religion from the first amendment standpoint. Legally atheist parents have the same rights as catholic ones. Live with it.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
I was responding to someone trying to argue freedom of religion from the first amendment standpoint. Legally atheist parents have the same rights as catholic ones. Live with it.
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Take him to court. By that time he/she will be 18 and it will be moot.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
I was responding to someone trying to argue freedom of religion from the first amendment standpoint. Legally atheist parents have the same rights as catholic ones. Live with it.
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Yes that’s true from a secular legal perspective, but I don’t think that the OP came to CAF looking for secular legal advice. In any event the OP said that he lives in Europe, which has different laws on this subject.
 
devoutchristian said:
Yes that’s true from a secular legal perspective, but I don’t think that the OP came to CAF looking for secular legal advice. In any event the OP said that he lives in Europe, which has different laws on this subject.
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What it comes down to is that one of the worst things about being a teenager is the lack of control you have over your life. Like it or not if the OP’s parents won’t allow it then there isn’t much that can be done.

Of course she should try to calmly and maturely talk about it, in a way that demonstrates that she’s capable of reasoning and behaving as an adult. But if they won’t budge, not much can be done.
 
Thank you everyone for your answers:) Where I live (I would prefer not to disclose my exact location), I believe we are allowed to choose our religion, but when you’re still underage and dependant on your parents (and I’ll still be dependant for several years, due to continuing my studies) it is hard to go against their will. Due to my parents being quite strongly against religion, they don’t want me owning a Bible or going to church, and I do not want to break their rules or lie to them because I don’t want to live like that (even if you’re safe, lying to your parents is not right). Maybe the following year until I turn 18 is a good chance to learn as much about religion as I can, as I have to admit, at this point there is still a lot that I don’t know about it, although I’ve been doing research for a few months. I do worry though that even after a year, I won’t be able to fully live Catholic because I will still be living with my parents and dependant on them.
 
EveO said:
Thank you everyone for your answers:) Where I live (I would prefer not to disclose my exact location), I believe we are allowed to choose our religion, but when you’re still underage and dependant on your parents (and I’ll still be dependant for several years, due to continuing my studies) it is hard to go against their will. Due to my parents being quite strongly against religion, they don’t want me owning a Bible or going to church, and I do not want to break their rules or lie to them because I don’t want to live like that (even if you’re safe, lying to your parents is not right). Maybe the following year until I turn 18 is a good chance to learn as much about religion as I can, as I have to admit, at this point there is still a lot that I don’t know about it, although I’ve been doing research for a few months. I do worry though that even after a year, I won’t be able to fully live Catholic because I will still be living with my parents and dependant on them.
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Will this change when you turn 18 if you still live with your parents? Will your parents suddenly respect your right to go to church and own a Bible when you are of age? Or will you have to make the difficult decision to leave your parents’ home in order to pursue your own faith?
 
BlueEyedLady said:
I was responding to someone trying to argue freedom of religion from the first amendment standpoint. Legally atheist parents have the same rights as catholic ones. Live with it.
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I would agree from a legal standpoint with you. However, as much as I would want my beloved child to always be a Catholic if he is over 15 and does not want to go to Church as much as it would pain me I would not force him. I guess there are two types of Atheists, those who just do not believe in God and are indifferent to those who do and others who despise religion vigorously and want to wipe it out of human existence.
EveO said:
I’m really open to any suggestions you might have, wether it is to keep trying to discuss it with my parents (and how) or to leave it alone for now. Thank you for any help:)
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For EveO if you parents are just indifferent to religion I guess you can try to talk about it with them and ask them to respect you decision. However, if they are hostile to religion and to those who practice it you would be better off respecting their wishes at home and at 18; however continue to learn as much as you can. You can pursue becoming a Catholic after 18.

You have our prayers and those of us who are Catholic hope that many blessings come to you on your journey. It is going to be a difficult, but worth while one.

God Bless
 
EveO said:
Thank you everyone for your answers:) Where I live (I would prefer not to disclose my exact location), I believe we are allowed to choose our religion, but when you’re still underage and dependant on your parents (and I’ll still be dependant for several years, due to continuing my studies) it is hard to go against their will. Due to my parents being quite strongly against religion, they don’t want me owning a Bible or going to church, and I do not want to break their rules or lie to them because I don’t want to live like that (even if you’re safe, lying to your parents is not right). Maybe the following year until I turn 18 is a good chance to learn as much about religion as I can, as I have to admit, at this point there is still a lot that I don’t know about it, although I’ve been doing research for a few months. I do worry though that even after a year, I won’t be able to fully live Catholic because I will still be living with my parents and dependant on them.
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You’re a good kid with a good head on your shoulders. As someone who plans to raise my child without religion I get where your parents are coming from. But as they grow up if they fond themselves interested in religion or even one in particular my permission to pursue or explore that would depend largely on their maturity and the way they approached it and me. Acknowledging that they had just started studying and that there was a lot they didn’t know would impress me far more than “Mom, I’ve decided that I am a _______ and I worship _________!”
 
BlueEyedLady said:
You’re a good kid with a good head on your shoulders. As someone who plans to raise my child without religion I get where your parents are coming from. But as they grow up if they fond themselves interested in religion or even one in particular my permission to pursue or explore that would depend largely on their maturity and the way they approached it and me. Acknowledging that they had just started studying and that there was a lot they didn’t know would impress me far more than “Mom, I’ve decided that I am a _______ and I worship _________!”
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My personal opinion is that you are old enough to make your own spiritual decisions, and you should pursue your own path, while still respecting your parents. Talk to the priest at your local church. He can help you navigate the situation.
 
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