The problem is that I don’t agree with a few things in the Catholic church, and I don’t know whether I should start seriously thinking about becoming a Catholic if I don’t agree with some parts of it. It’s really conflicting with me now - I’m not sure what to do about it.
That’s a very difficult thing for some people to handle, I don’t blame you. In the end, there are two ways of looking at it:
- “I’ll figure out on my own all the things I believe, and then look for a church that happens to precisely match my personal views. That must be the right church.”
- “I’ll look for the right church, the one instituted by God to continue the work of Jesus on this earth. Then I’ll conform my views to its teachings.”
No doubt about it, it’s extremely unhip to say that you believe in something because that is what the Church teaches. Nowadays it’s all about being independent-minded, being “true to yourself”, etc. One of the absolute hardest things to do is to make that act of submission, because it is not a submission of the body (Eating fish on Fridays, dragging yourself to Mass on Sundays), but of the will – to say, If left to my own devices, I would have come up with a different answer and different moral teachings, but God has not left me to my own devices and God prescribes moral teachings for all, not each individual for herself.
In a way, Protestantism allows us each to become a God: we develop our own moral (and even historical) teachings based on whatever criteria we find important, and then choose to inhabit a little world where people agree and affirm us. If eventually we change our views (“Hey, I think non-celibate gays
should be ordained into ministry”) then by sheer force of will we change the little world around us – by changing denominations – to conform to our new truths.
Sounds really nice. In the end, though, I think we have to admit that that’s not how God works. The whole Bible is full of commandments that God prescribed for people who, if left to their own devices, would have followed some other moral code, or none at all. “Always be true to yourselves, no matter what” is not a Biblical teaching; in fact, it’s pretty much the dead opposite of everything the Bible stands for.
There’s such a tendency to say, “These are matters of opinion; my opinion is no less valid than the opinion of anyone else” – to set oneself, a layperson with no particular theological training, up as somehow equal against millennia of prophets, popes, and sainted theologians. Hopefully these thoughts can help you. Like I say, it is
really difficult to admit, “If I were in charge, that’s not the decision I would have made, but I guess I’m not in charge,” to let go of the reins and let God and the Church he established, lead the way.