Bedroom question

[SpeakKindly]

This is a bit of an adult question, but what are some Catholic approved personal lubricants?

Obviously one that doesn’t mess with the openness to life is what we’re looking for. Are there any commonly known ones that are good for Catholics?

 

[Xantippe]

I don’t know that it matters a lot.

I know there is a lubricant that those trying to conceive like because it’s particularly conception-friendly, but it doesn’t sound necessary to me to go that extra step. As long as the lubricant isn’t sold as a spermicide, I think you’re good.

 

[Xantippe]

Pre-seed is the fertility friendly one.

 

[SpeakKindly]

I don’t know that it matters a lot.

I know there is a lubricant that those trying to conceive like because it’s particularly conception-friendly, but it doesn’t sound necessary to me to go that extra step. As long as the lubricant isn’t sold as a spermicide, I think you’re good.

yeah but I’ve heard that some hurts the movement of sperm and stuff, and the pre-seed stuff doesn’t sound like it’s made for outside of planning on conceiving.

 

[Xantippe]

yeah but I’ve heard that some hurts the movement of sperm and stuff, and the pre-seed stuff doesn’t sound like it’s made for outside of planning on conceiving.

Pre-seed is about $18-20 per 1.4 oz tube, so yeah.

Other lubricants do impair sperm motility.

rhrealitycheck.org/article/2014/02/06/youre-trying-get-pregnant-pass-lube/

The only issue that comes to mind with that article is that needing to use lubricant while trying to conceive strongly suggests that the couple is not optimally fertile, so that does raise some questions about the study. It may be that less fertile couples need more lubricant, rather than that lubricant causes problems with fertility.

I wouldn’t worry about this unless actually attempting to conceive.

Oh–I just remembered the moral principle involved: double effect.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Principle_of_double_effect

Because the couple is using the lubricant in order to make intercourse comfortable, not as a spermicide, it is licit to use the lubricant. If the couple were using the lubricant as a spermicide in order not to conceive, that would be illicit (as well as dumb).

 

[pensmama87]

I wouldn’t worry overmuch about the moral side of it. The links Xantippe provided are very good. You’re not using them as spermicide, and nothing I’ve seen convinces me that they’re actually very good at inhibiting fertility anyway. I think it’s more likely that there is an absence of fertile cervical fluid that necessitates the use of the lubricant, not that the lubricant is really doing anything by itself to kill sperm.

Coconut oil (or olive oil, but coconut oil is less messy) is very good, cheap, and multipurpose, too. I have found that a lot of the items produced and marketed solely as personal lubricants have ingredients in them that are irritating afterwards, not to mention they are more expensive.

 

[12345678]

I wouldn’t worry overmuch about the moral side of it. The links Xantippe provided are very good. You’re not using them as spermicide, and nothing I’ve seen convinces me that they’re actually very good at inhibiting fertility anyway. I think it’s more likely that there is an absence of fertile cervical fluid that necessitates the use of the lubricant, not that the lubricant is really doing anything by itself to kill sperm.

Coconut oil (or olive oil, but coconut oil is less messy) is very good, cheap, and multipurpose, too. I have found that a lot of the items produced and marketed solely as personal lubricants have ingredients in them that are irritating afterwards, not to mention they are more expensive.

I agree with pensmama in that if it is clear that a lubricant serves as a spermicide, it isn’t wrong. I don’t agree with the principle of double effect being a reason why it could be used if it did contain a known spermicide, as people often forget that one of the criteria for the principal of double effect to be (and I took this from the link above)

the good effect outweighs the bad effect in circumstances sufficiently grave to justify causing the bad effect and the agent exercises due diligence to minimize the harm.

In other words, you can’t assume that just because your intentions are good, you can allow bad results to happen… you have to evaluate whether the good justifies the bad. Let’s say condoms made sex more comfortable for you, and you were not using them to avoid pregnancy, but for comfort… You wouldn’t be able to justify the use of condoms even if the reason for using them was not contraception.
But going back to your question, I would use lubricants that are not advertised as having spermicide/being contraceptive. Research it a little, and you may find that there are mainstream ones that aren’t really contraceptive.

 

[Xantippe]

I agree with pensmama in that if it is clear that a lubricant serves as a spermicide, it isn’t wrong. I don’t agree with the principle of double effect being a reason why it could be used if it did contain a known spermicide, as people often forget that one of the criteria for the principal of double effect to be (and I took this from the link above)

In other words, you can’t assume that just because your intentions are good, you can allow bad results to happen… you have to evaluate whether the good justifies the bad. Let’s say condoms made sex more comfortable for you, and you were not using them to avoid pregnancy, but for comfort… You wouldn’t be able to justify the use of condoms even if the reason for using them was not contraception.
But going back to your question, I would use lubricants that are not advertised as having spermicide/being contraceptive. Research it a little, and you may find that there are mainstream ones that aren’t really contraceptive.

That’s a lot of them.

The nice people at K-Y Jelly don’t want to be sued if people get pregnant relying on their product as birth control. If it doesn’t say “spermicide” on the box, I think you’re morally in the clear.

I think I’d compare the case to a man wearing briefs instead of boxer shorts. On the one hand, briefs may reduce his fertility, but on the other hand, if he’s MUCH more comfortable wearing briefs, it’s OK for him to wear the underwear that is more comfortable.

 

[BettyBoop416]

This is a bit of an adult question, but what are some Catholic approved personal lubricants?

I’ve never heard of a Catholic approved lubricant. To my knowledge, the only religious organization to approve a lubricant is the Religious Society of Friends. They approve of Quaker State 5W30. But even the Friends don’t approve it for bedroom use.

 

[12345678]

That’s a lot of them.

The nice people at K-Y Jelly don’t want to be sued if people get pregnant relying on their product as birth control. If it doesn’t say “spermicide” on the box, I think you’re morally in the clear.

I think I’d compare the case to a man wearing briefs instead of boxer shorts. On the one hand, briefs may reduce his fertility, but on the other hand, if he’s MUCH more comfortable wearing briefs, it’s OK for him to wear the underwear that is more comfortable.

Yeah, it wouldn’t be in the right spirit for someone who prefers boxers to switch to briefs because he is trying to avoid and heard it could reduce his fertility, but a briefs guy isn’t under obligation to change to something he finds very uncomfortable because it may or may not slightly affect his fertility.

OP: If you need lubrication, use one that is not a spermicide (there are some that are specifically spermicide, use one that is not). Don’t use it if you don’t need it, and were just using it in hopes of reducing fertility. You obviously did not ask for it for that reason, so I really didn’t need to say that, but just saying it in general since this is a public forum where other people can read about the subject.

 

[NFPWife]

Just adding my voice to the “if it doesn’t say spermicide, it’s licit” chorus. I wouldn’t be overly concerned about the effect of the lubricant on fertility. I’d be more concerned about when / why a lubricant is needed. If lubrication is needed leading up to Peak or during Peak, there could be legitimate concerns about the quality and quantity of cervical mucus. If you’re actively trying to get pregnant, it could make sense to address that. If you’re not actively trying to achieve a pregnancy, I wouldn’t worry myself about it.

 

[on_the_hill]

I guess I learned something today.

My first response to the OP was a resounding, "Wha? "

 

[Beryllos]

Some personal lubricants are better for fertility, and health care researchers believe they are also better for your health.

Here is a link to a chemistry newsletter article on it. Content advisory: It’s rather technical, and also discusses risky sexual behaviors and STDs. Sorry:

Chemical and Engineering News - Studies Raise Questions About Safety Of Personal Lubricants

The short summary is that lubricants which have a high osmolality (tendency to extract water from fluids and cells by osmosis) cause damage to delicate tissues, making them more susceptible to infection. For most of us, this represents a tiny risk, but it’s a significant additional risk for those who are already at high risk for catching STDs (e.g., prostitutes).

 

[porthos11]

That’s a lot of them.

The nice people at K-Y Jelly don’t want to be sued if people get pregnant relying on their product as birth control. If it doesn’t say “spermicide” on the box, I think you’re morally in the clear.

I think I’d compare the case to a man wearing briefs instead of boxer shorts. On the one hand, briefs may reduce his fertility, but on the other hand, if he’s MUCH more comfortable wearing briefs, it’s OK for him to wear the underwear that is more comfortable.

In fact, K-Y explicitly states on the box that it’s does not contain spermicide and is not a contraceptive.

 

[Tarpeian_Rock]

Yeah, it wouldn’t be in the right spirit for someone who prefers boxers to switch to briefs because he is trying to avoid and heard it could reduce his fertility, but a briefs guy isn’t under obligation to change to something he finds very uncomfortable because it may or may not slightly affect his fertility.

OP: If you need lubrication, use one that is not a spermicide (there are some that are specifically spermicide, use one that is not). Don’t use it if you don’t need it, and were just using it in hopes of reducing fertility. You obviously did not ask for it for that reason, so I really didn’t need to say that, but just saying it in general since this is a public forum where other people can read about the subject.

I’m sorry, but there’s a moral dimension to men’s underwear?

 

[PaulinVA]

I’ve never heard of a Catholic approved lubricant. To my knowledge, the only religious organization to approve a lubricant is the Religious Society of Friends. They approve of Quaker State 5W30. But even the Friends don’t approve it for bedroom use.

 

[Avocadomom]

Seriously? Anything at the drugstore is fine as long as it does not contain a specific spermicide.

 

[PaulinVA]

I’m sorry, but there’s a moral dimension to men’s underwear?

There are a bunch of things that one can do to* help* conception. This is a question about if you are not helping are you hurting or are you neutral. As examples:

Wearing briefs can cause heat in the groin that can hamper sperm production.
To conceive, the woman should lay still for a certain period of time after relations.
etc, etc, etc.

 

[PaulGH]

If you’re worried about it, try Pre-Seed, which is fertility-friendly. It is expensive, but (and sorry if this is too much information), one tube can last a fairly long time, even if you use it often.

 

[HopenHappiness]

I will second the coconut oil, Make sure it is food grade, it is a solid, but because a liquid quick. Added benefit, great for a massage and keeps your skin nice and soft. Can be messy, but nothing a towel can’t handle.