I’m a non-catholic who is looking to come into the church, I started spontaneously praying the rosary a few nights ago, when I left my atheism behind by faith; I have been praying for faith to believe in God and the Catholic Church; I am regaining said faith. What’s interesting is that, since beginning with the rosary, I have began to lose touch with my earthly ambitions; what do I make of this and how do I proceed? It’s quite alarming due to my beginning to lose interest in my long term goals of.money and a sucessful career. How do I move forward?
When you were a baby did you have those ambitions, no. You ‘moved on’ from where you were to those ambitions, so you can ‘move on’ after them, they were not always there,
but God has been.
**In fact coming back to God is more a process of remembering, remembering God and remembering yourself.
**
Your priorities are shifting, that is natural, you might feel you are ‘losing’ some things from your life but what you are gaining is far far greater than anything you can buy or show off to your friends. The sense of ‘losing’ is simply a natural psychological adjustment, the problem is some people get a knee jerk reaction to the feeling they are ‘losing’ something by clinging onto it, even if it is bad for them, but just let go and trust, it is a process of learning to trust, trust yourself, trust God, trust. Focus on trust then faith will follow.
Find new ambitions, there is no reason why you can’t have a purpose in life and your faith, in fact your faith will inspire it if you let it. But for now you need to focus on your inner self and relationship with God and let God guide you in the rest of what you need to do.
On a practical note, you obviously need money to buy food and provide a home for yourself but you need much less than you think, downsize your life, focus on what is REALLY important and do the minimum to keep the rest ticking over. Make time for your relationship with God like you would for any relationship, and it’s the most important relationship you’re ever going to have! If you were getting married or having children you have to shift away from career and make more time and energy for them, so why not for this?
Don’t fear the change, at times you may feel a sudden panic and think you should give up (I have seen this in many people who come to God at first) but HOLD ON, you are going through change and great change at that, take your time, there is no panic, be with God and God will be with you. Keep your Rosary close.