Being a groomsman for a ex-Catholic

[that_name]

So what were the “rules” for leaving the Church before? My bil left the Church, along w/ his whole family, back in the late 70s/early 80s when his parents divorced and his mom remarried w/out an annulment. She later received an anullment and returned to the Church, but none of her kids (all basically grown by then) returned. He and my SIL were married in a S. Baptist church (where she was raised), in 1985, and now attend a Vinyard Christian Fellowship church. I’m wondering if their marriage is valid (or any of his siblings for that matter, one who’s a Vinyard pastor and another who’s married to a protestant-of-some-sort pastor)? All were married in the mid to late 80s.

In Christ,

Ellen

What Bro Rich said.

From what you say here, your BIL and SIL are living in an invalid marriage.

 

[Seatuck]

Hmmmm, I guess this is true, as is relates to the OP. In my mind, after 10 years it seems like he has already made up his mind (at this point I wouldn’t consider him Catholic?), but I can see others may see that differently.

What is this “grave situation” my wife is in? This I don’t understand. Just because we have a potpourri of backgrounds standing and reading at our wedding?

An invalid marriage. I thought I read that there was no dispensation for the wedding to be out of the church.

 

[PassingThru]

I didn’t say where the wedding was! Also didn’t say anything about dispensation. I was just curious what the thoughts were on who reads and/or stands.

 

[Seatuck]

I didn’t say where the wedding was! Also didn’t say anything about dispensation. I was just curious what the thoughts were on who reads and/or stands.

My comments referred to Lutheranteach . Sorry for the confusion.

 

[WetCatechumen]

I’m in a serious relationship with a Protestant girl who has agreed to raise the kids Catholic and practice NFP.

Despite my affection for her, this thread tempts me to break up with her just to avoid the headaches. (In case you’re reading this K, I’m kidding).

Although, on the plus side, it means that if my brother asks me to be a groomsman for his wedding I can say no and plead, “The church says I can’t!” as an excuse when the real reason is I think he’s making a serious mistake.

He’s marrying an ex-Catholic. She stopped going to church a while ago. Then she “got saved” and started dating him.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

I’m in a serious relationship with a Protestant girl who has agreed to raise the kids Catholic and practice NFP.

Despite my affection for her, this thread tempts me to break up with her just to avoid the headaches. (In case you’re reading this K, I’m kidding).

Although, on the plus side, it means that if my brother asks me to be a groomsman for his wedding I can say no and plead, “The church says I can’t!” as an excuse when the real reason is I think he’s making a serious mistake.

He’s marrying an ex-Catholic. She stopped going to church a while ago. Then she “got saved” and started dating him.

The problem here is that most times we are concerned with “feelings” and not so concerned that someone we care about is making a grave error that could have Eternal consequences and we are afraid to confront them about it. The Spiritual Work of Mercy requires us to “Admonish the Sinner to turn from their ways”. Not support or encourage them in their sin.

 

[WetCatechumen]

The problem here is that most times we are concerned with “feelings” and not so concerned that someone we care about is making a grave error that could have Eternal consequences and we are afraid to confront them about it. The Spiritual Work of Mercy requires us to “Admonish the Sinner to turn from their ways”. Not support or encourage them in their sin.

My best friend and my sister I’ve told; both of them are already mad at me over it.

This is going to be fun. Definitely gonna talk to my priest about it.

 

[PassingThru]

The problem here is that most times we are concerned with “feelings” and not so concerned that someone we care about is making a grave error that could have Eternal consequences and we are afraid to confront them about it. The Spiritual Work of Mercy requires us to “Admonish the Sinner to turn from their ways”. Not support or encourage them in their sin.

So, assuming everyone is in agreement on the grave error, are you saying that the Church believes that families boycotting otherwise acceptable marriages is the preferred way to bring straying member back into the flock, so to speak? I don’t have any numbers here, but I can not imagine that there could be a worse way to get that to happen…?

 

[graceandglory]

. Of course I received a long letter from his wife, basically on how hurtful I was being. My answer was my son knew what my reaction would be and by doing it anyway, accepted the consequences. .

That’s good. Your son is manning up to it. Good for him. His wife, she can get over it.
My mom has done a lot of mean things in her life, but not attending my protestant sham of a wedding, … well, that is something that I respect today. Did it hurt back then, sure it did. I was young, immature, and stupid. And then I grew up.

All that said…

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They will know we are Christians by our love.***

Pray that they come back to the Church. Often this comes when they want to have a baby baptized… What? You don’t baptized babies? When they come back they can have their marriage convalidated.

In the meanwhile, study up on the Sacrament of Marriage, and how protestants can be validly married.

I wouldn’t recommend anyone to sever ties officially with the Church.