Being answered in prayer?

[Jan_Bolbot]

Everytime I sign in to this forum and start reading just to read, I think up another question to ask…

The background is that I am going through a very tough time with my wife (she had an affair, possibly consumated; no longer loves me, “loves” the other person; has treated me like I am subhuman for almost a year; very toxic behavior; always negative [guilt?]; refuses to talk to me; refuses counseling or efforts at reconciliation; refuses forgiveness; we have two children; both of us believing Catholics and [at least outwardly] quite devout).

So my question…I pray a lot, I suppose because I am in pain a lot. One day a couple months ago, my wife had said or done something quite cruel to me, don’t recall the details because it is almost daily. I felt so empty toward her. So I prayed and I asked God “Lord do you really want me to love this person? Do you want me to be her husband? What if she becomes completely evil?” A few hours later, maybe half a day, I was sitting at my desk and I have picture on my desktop of my wife in happier times and I can’t really put this into words but I glanced across the picture as I do just automatically as I work and I felt this overwhelming flood of love and compassion for her. Words don’t even capture it. I can’t even describe it–like if love were water and you were suddenly immersed like a baptism (Southern Baptist style).

Is this God’s answer? I have no doubt and it fits with everything I’ve tried to discern of God’s plan for me during these long and painful months. Is this legitimate? Or perhaps just a extension of what I wish for?

It is ironic, because I have been praying a lot for my wife (you know, convert her heart, Lord…) without too much visible effect. And I must say, everything hasn’t become instantly super. I still feel immense pain but there is also a sense of peace and sense that I’ll be held up somehow no matter what. I’ve come more and more to think about the harm she is doing to herself and less about the harm being done to me.

I’ve praying all my life (way more now) and always had the gift of faith, but a direct answer from God? It almost sounds like a joke or that I’m loosing my marbles. Has anyone had a similar experience? Should I talk to my pastor? A therapist?

Somewhere between laughing and crying…
JB

 

[Snerticus]

I get those feelings too, even when I don’t ask a question. But then again, perhaps I subconciously do and I just don’t realize it!

I was going to Church last Sunday night and I stopped at a stop sign. I turned to my left and saw this tree that looked freshly pruned. Actually, I don’t ever remember seeing that tree before, but I thought maybe it’s because it was just pruned and perhaps I remembered it before when it was unpruned and overgrown. Anyway, as I was staring at it for about 3 seconds waiting for the cars to clear so I could pull out, the wind was blowing the branches and they looked droopy, like a willow. All of a sudden this flood of longing to be with God washed over me, kind of like you mentioned. I thought to myself “what is this that I’m feeling, and why?”. I thought perhaps the tree looked like one of those scenes that you see an old oak or similar tree in the middle of a peaceful field, but when I pictured that scene, the peace and longing I had dissappeared. I looked away and back at the road for an opening in the traffic again and the feeling just went totally away. The wind was really blowing that day, and I thought, “wow, that was really wierd!” Since the cars still were whizzing by, I looked back at the tree. Again, that flood of longing to be with God and that God was either in or around that tree. It was just amazing. I had to pull out because I thought a car was behind me and there was a clearing in the traffic, so I pulled onto the road to the Church and looked back. The feeling left as soon as I turned away from the tree and when I pulled onto the road and looked back at the intersection I came from, no other car was there. I swore there was another car. No, I didn’t get into an accident!

That was a wierd experience for me. But my friend, you had a wonderful spiritual experience. What it meant, though, is not for me to say. Unfortunately that’s only for you to find out. But praying is the best way to do that!

I don’t think you need a therapist if that’s the only thing that happened. And I’m sorry if I bored you with my story, I was just trying to point out that things like that happen to others too.

You and your wife are in my prayers.

God Bless,
Snert

 

[Luke65]

It sounds to me like God answered your prayer because He doesn’t want you to give up hope for your marriage. But even if that is not the case you shouldn’t give up hope. Keep praying, and try to get your wife to understand her committment - “what God has joined, let no man separate.” And what God said: “I hate divorce.” (Malachi 2:16) And we will pray for you too.

 

[Trishie]

I think that God was letting you experiencing a little of His love for your wife.
I believe He is asking your trust and your continued prayer for her.

I still feel immense pain but there is also a sense of peace and sense that I’ll be held up somehow no matter what. I’ve come more and more to think about the harm she is doing to herself and less about the harm being done to me.

These word show to me that the Holy Spirit of God’s love is at work in you.

You wife will make whatever decisions she makes, and will act however she acts, but you have a gift beyond price, a heart that is pleasing to God