Being approached by men- advice needed

[iwillrisenow]

Please forgive me for speaking frankly on the following matter. I do not mean to offend anyone, but rather am seeking advice on how to handle a touchy situation. I am currently living in an environment overseas where there are a number of single foreign men. The society is very conservative and most of the local women risk rejection if they are involved in any way with a foreign man. There is also a very cosmetic secular society here, so there are tons of people walking around with makeup, surgically enhanced figures and revealing clothes (think Los Angeles). Since my arrival, I’ve met a number of men who are…for lack of a better word…frustrated by the situation. Some of these men are Catholics, even devout ones, but the sheer isolation of the place plus the emphasis on looks and gratification drives them against their values. I am open to friendship with men but am aware of these risks. Unfortunately, my social interactions with men here keep going down the same road. It has happened on two separate occasions with men I’ve met at Church. As a result, I feel more like an “opportunity” for a release of frustration than a woman of faith who deserves respect for her body and chaste friendship. I am serious about my faith and remaining chaste until marriage, if it is God’s will. But I feel like I’ve been labeled somehow.

Has anyone (especially women) ever found themselves in a similar situation? How can I respond to these advances? Is there some way I can examine myself to figure out why I keep attracting these types of individuals? Should I avoid friendships with men in this environment altogether?

 

[Scoobyshme]

Please forgive me for speaking frankly on the following matter. I do not mean to offend anyone, but rather am seeking advice on how to handle a touchy situation. I am currently living in an environment overseas where there are a number of single foreign men. The society is very conservative and most of the local women risk rejection if they are involved in any way with a foreign man. There is also a very cosmetic secular society here, so there are tons of people walking around with makeup, surgically enhanced figures and revealing clothes (think Los Angeles). Since my arrival, I’ve met a number of men who are…for lack of a better word…frustrated by the situation. Some of these men are Catholics, even devout ones, but the sheer isolation of the place plus the emphasis on looks and gratification drives them against their values. I am open to friendship with men but am aware of these risks. Unfortunately, my social interactions with men here keep going down the same road. It has happened on two separate occasions with men I’ve met at Church. As a result, I feel more like an “opportunity” for a release of frustration than a woman of faith who deserves respect for her body and chaste friendship. I am serious about my faith and remaining chaste until marriage, if it is God’s will. But I feel like I’ve been labeled somehow.

Has anyone (especially women) ever found themselves in a similar situation? How can I respond to these advances? Is there some way I can examine myself to figure out why I keep attracting these types of individuals? Should I avoid friendships with men in this environment altogether?

Well, you need to set up boundaries on the front end of these relationships. Let them know where you firmly stand, no exceptions! No monkey business, period! Otherwise, hit the road, Jack! That ought to weed out the bad guys pretty quick, and put you in control of the situation.