R
rivera01
Guest
Hi everyone, I don’t know if you remember reading some of my posts about the problems I was having in my marriage. Well, my wife and I have been seperated since April and the divorce went thru earlier last month. We are married thru the Church, so honestly I hold that marraige to a higher standard than our civil union.
What I am experiencing is a bombardment from my step father telling me to “live it up” now that I am “single” again. Tells me to go out and have a good time, it’s ok to sleep around with other women, but don’t get involved in a relationship, unless I want to. I know that most of you are going to say that I am an adult and I should be able to stand up for myself and make my own choices. And honestly I completely agree, there have been times where I have clashed with my step father and things have not turned out so well. When I was 17 and I started to go to church and change my lifestyle, he would mock me constantly. Know that I have a deeper, fuller, and more mature understanding about what it is to follow Christ, I know that we are going to clash once again. I don’t want any grief for within my family, especially between my mother and step father. I don’t want anymore stress in my life than what I have already. All I do is just listen to what he says and ignore his advice. I know that he may want me to “live” it up because he thinks I’m depressed and that will make me “happy”, but I am not going to give in to advice that will spiritually kill me or morally wrong.
What I find more incredible is the fact that there are some people who are active in the church that tell me that I can rebuild my life again, that I am young and I can be involved in another relationship in the future. I just find it unbelievable they would tell me this. I talked to my parish priest about what I have been advised recently and he supported me for wanting to continue to live my sacrament, even though my wife is not wanting to do so. I told the priest that I want to continue to live a chaste and faithful life, not for my wife, but for Our Lord. I told the priest that I know that at the time of our vows, there were 3 people involved, my wife, me, and God. For God I will live this life, even though there are times where my body desires things that I can not allow it to have. I know that an annulment is available and that this is an option, especially if under the investigation the tribunal finds that there was a fault. But I don’t think that my marriage can be annuled, we both were married out of our free will.
I mean, I trully think that my wife and I were meant to be together, let me shed some light on what I mean. My wife and I were really involved in church and the prayer group when we lived in Los Angeles. We announced to our community that we were going to get married. Everyone wanted to help us and most of them pitched in. There was a lady there that said that she made a wedding dress for a lady from another parish. She was no longer getting married and she had paid for the dress in full and did not want it anymore. The lady that made the dress asked my wife if she wanted it, of course she said yes. She tried it out and my wife told me that it fit her perfectly, no alterations were needed. Now if this is not a sure sign from God, I don’t know what is. We were really blessed to get our wedding ceremony, and I always knew that this is what God wanted. Of course things changed and now I am in the place that I am now. I am still hopefull in the Lord that things will get better and hopefully one day see our family and marriage reconciled, I pray.
What I am experiencing is a bombardment from my step father telling me to “live it up” now that I am “single” again. Tells me to go out and have a good time, it’s ok to sleep around with other women, but don’t get involved in a relationship, unless I want to. I know that most of you are going to say that I am an adult and I should be able to stand up for myself and make my own choices. And honestly I completely agree, there have been times where I have clashed with my step father and things have not turned out so well. When I was 17 and I started to go to church and change my lifestyle, he would mock me constantly. Know that I have a deeper, fuller, and more mature understanding about what it is to follow Christ, I know that we are going to clash once again. I don’t want any grief for within my family, especially between my mother and step father. I don’t want anymore stress in my life than what I have already. All I do is just listen to what he says and ignore his advice. I know that he may want me to “live” it up because he thinks I’m depressed and that will make me “happy”, but I am not going to give in to advice that will spiritually kill me or morally wrong.
What I find more incredible is the fact that there are some people who are active in the church that tell me that I can rebuild my life again, that I am young and I can be involved in another relationship in the future. I just find it unbelievable they would tell me this. I talked to my parish priest about what I have been advised recently and he supported me for wanting to continue to live my sacrament, even though my wife is not wanting to do so. I told the priest that I want to continue to live a chaste and faithful life, not for my wife, but for Our Lord. I told the priest that I know that at the time of our vows, there were 3 people involved, my wife, me, and God. For God I will live this life, even though there are times where my body desires things that I can not allow it to have. I know that an annulment is available and that this is an option, especially if under the investigation the tribunal finds that there was a fault. But I don’t think that my marriage can be annuled, we both were married out of our free will.
I mean, I trully think that my wife and I were meant to be together, let me shed some light on what I mean. My wife and I were really involved in church and the prayer group when we lived in Los Angeles. We announced to our community that we were going to get married. Everyone wanted to help us and most of them pitched in. There was a lady there that said that she made a wedding dress for a lady from another parish. She was no longer getting married and she had paid for the dress in full and did not want it anymore. The lady that made the dress asked my wife if she wanted it, of course she said yes. She tried it out and my wife told me that it fit her perfectly, no alterations were needed. Now if this is not a sure sign from God, I don’t know what is. We were really blessed to get our wedding ceremony, and I always knew that this is what God wanted. Of course things changed and now I am in the place that I am now. I am still hopefull in the Lord that things will get better and hopefully one day see our family and marriage reconciled, I pray.
