Being contrite during confession

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I have been afraid of going to communion for a while because I feel I am not contrite in confession. I want to get back into the habit of communion and confession but when I commit sin and go to confession after I can’t feel sorry for my sins. Is going to confession and wanting to be forgiven enough to receive absolution?
 
“Feeling” sorry for our sins doesn’t always happen. We don’t have to be overcome with emotion to recognize that we did something wrong, repent, go to Confession, and receive forgiveness.

If this is something you often experience, I would encourage you to discuss it with your priest.
 
cassidyaltarboy said:
I have been afraid of going to communion for a while because I feel I am not contrite in confession. I want to get back into the habit of communion and confession but when I commit sin and go to confession after I can’t feel sorry for my sins. Is going to confession and wanting to be forgiven enough to receive absolution?
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With a resolution to sin no more, you don’t have to “feel” contrition. Contrition is an act of the will, from my understanding, that is preferably accompanied by a feeling but often is not.

A requirement of absolution is contrition either perfect or imperfect. Imperfect contrition would be, for example, someone who doesn’t want to go to Hell. Perfect contrition is always done because the person loves God and is sorry they have offended God.

You seem to believe in the Real Presence of the Holy Eucharist, and that is a very special grace from God. He loves you very much, literally.

“Feeling” the contrition is also a grace from God. You can ask Him for this grace and if He wills it He will grant it to you.

If you repent of your sins, preferably but not necessarily because you love God and know you have offended Him, and you resolve to sin no more - your absolution is valid. You don’t have to feel the sorrow.

From my understanding, it is possible to have perfect contrition without actually FEELING sorry for the sin. Rather, BEING sorry for offending God whom you love above all things. Also from my understanding, Love is an act of the will that is preferably but not necessarily accompanied by a feeling.

Saint Faustina points out that all merit is in the WILL, if I remember right. That means it is about what we WILL and not what we FEEL. In fact, fighting our feelings in order to Love gains us more merit in God’s sight.

Catholic Answers has articles on this. You will find them more useful than my rambling :cool:

I think another requirement of perfect contrition is no attachment to sin.

God Loves you. Be at peace.
 
cassidyaltarboy said:
I have been afraid of going to communion for a while because I feel I am not contrite in confession. I want to get back into the habit of communion and confession but when I commit sin and go to confession after I can’t feel sorry for my sins. Is going to confession and wanting to be forgiven enough to receive absolution?
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I’d think it is. I mean God’s always talking about us meeting Him halfway on things. So just going to confession means you’re sorry enough about having offended Him to go that far. You should really work on why you don’t feel contrition though. I mean sometimes yeah we do things to people who deserve it. I get that. But you still should try to feel some part of the sorry you should be feeling. That shows effort. And like I said, God likes to meet people half way when they show effort. So you might be surprised at how your feelings deepen the more you try.

I don’t know. I mean I’ve got a situation where I simply have had a really hard time even imagining I could forgive some guys. For something they did to someone else. Not to me. But to someone I cared about. But I’ve confessed this. And I don’t think God will hold that against me. He knows I’m trying. And that’s really what matters I think.

Peace.

-Trident
 
An honest effort is enough. We don’t need to be wailing and moaning and tearing our clothes apart during reconciliation, though certainly God would not mind (but Father might!)… As long as you are not trying to be deceptive in revealing your sins or when saying your act of contrition, you should not worry.

Forgiveness of mortal sins is dependent on perfect contrition. Now, usually we are not able to manifest that - which is part of the role of the sacrament itself. It makes up for our defective contrition to make it perfect… Once again, an honest effort is enough. God is not “out to get us.”

Approach the table of the Lord without scruples or anxiety. The fact you are worried about this reveals faith and charity, but maybe a bit of a lack of hope. God’s love includes you! Think of a child apologizing to a parent. That can be a helpful image. God takes what He can get and is pleased out of proportion with what we do.

Don’t be afraid!
 
Honestly I think the best thing you could do would be to take what you have said here to the confessional and tell your priest. I’m sure he’ll be happy to give you some guidance if you need it.

I’d also advise you to ponder this passage of scripture

If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us: but if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 St. John 1.8-9
 
Faith is not a feeling.

Neither is contrition.

We are called to **be **faithful, not to feel faithful. Just so we are called to **be **contrite, not feel contrite.

These are choices, decisions we make. Feelings and emotions come and go like the waves of an ocean - they are not the ocean itself but just the surface of the ocean. They may have a lot of effects on us but they are not lasting. The choices to have faith or be contrite are something much deeper than waves of transient feelings. They are the depths of our very selves, the currents that run below the surface. They are the true rulers in our lives which may have an effect on the emotions but the emotions don’t affect them. We are called to dive deep in our spiritual lives and so not ride the waves but follow the currents.

Do not fear Communion if you have made an honest Confession. Even imperfect contrition is sufficient for valid Confession. If you have received Absolution and still feel unworthy to receive Communion realize that this is only a feeling and trust in the words of Absolution - you have been forgiven. To doubt this is to doubt the Mercy of God.

Be at peace.
 
cassidyaltarboy said:
I have been afraid of going to communion for a while because I feel I am not contrite in confession. I want to get back into the habit of communion and confession but when I commit sin and go to confession after I can’t feel sorry for my sins. Is going to confession and wanting to be forgiven enough to receive absolution?
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You do not always have to have an emotional reaction for your confession to be contrite. If you resolve to try your hardest to not commit that sin and the priest granted you absolution. Do not dwell on your sins. Just forgive yourself and remember to not repeat the sin.
 
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