Being forsaken by a friend

  • Thread starter Thread starter Mark_j2
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
M

Mark_j2

Guest
This is probably consuming way too much time of my thoughts, but I need some feedback.
My closest friend – the one who brought me to the church in the first place – decided to forsake our friendship because she says (probably rightly so) that I violated certain boundaries. I’m not sure what those were, but I undoubtedly did. She and her family have completely broken off contact with me. I’m devastated, especially since this took all of about four days to happen. I’m confused, sad, depressed. How can I reconcile this? Does anyone else have a similar experience? What did you do?😦
 
Hi Mark, I think you need to talk to a professional counselor about this problem because I think that there a major problem that you might have that you are not aware of the seriousness of it.
My main clue that it is a serious problem is that her whole family has chosen not to be your friends anymore.
Sometimes people make some serious mistakes not realising that the behavior is a “no, no”.
I have worked as a professional counselor and this is a problem that only a professional counselor can help you see why the friendship broke up.
I am really sorry for your loss but you really need to find out if it was your behavior or your friend’s behavior that caused the broken friendship.
It will take a few sessions to clear things up in your mind.
 
I am sorry for what you are going through. I know of the hurt. Years ago I had a friend break our friendship through a misunderstanding of something she thought I did. We did talk together about it and I honestly told her I made a mistake, and that I was sorry. I asked her forgiveness, but she refused to accept my apology.

I have never held it against her, or talked to her since that last meeting, as we moved away, and time has healed old wounds.

I would suggest trying to talk with your friend, and if that is not possible maybe an e-mail explaining how you feel.

You might not get back your friendship , but at least you tried your best to make amends.

You will be in my prayers for peace and healing.
 
My advise is not to try to see her in person. Just send her an e-mail and if she doesn’t respond please let her go. There are times when long term friends break up their friendships for whatever reasons. It is important for you to just move on and leave that person and her family in peace.
Once a person decides to let go it is time to move on to new friends.

Last year I sent a male friend an e-mail message that our friendship was over because we were not really compatiable. I asked him to just send me an e-mail for his last response to me. He sent me the e-mail saying good-bye to me.
He has moved on to other friendships and I have moved on to other friendships.

It is very hard to let go of someone special that was in your life but if that person nolonger wants to be your friend it is time for you to move on in your life.
It is normal to mourn your loss and only time will heal your heart.
Please say a prayer everytime you feel sad about this situation and you will feel at peace and stronger. Prayer will give you peace of mind.
 
decided to forsake our friendship because she says (probably rightly so) that I violated certain boundaries.

It sounds to me like you’re not too sure what you did to offend her.

I think it would be proper to ask her so you could apologize properly; this IS the thing to do before Lent starts.
 
I think all of you have made great points (some of you eerily know what I am going through)…makes it that much more confusing, although giving this family and my former friend space is the proper route.
Letting this friend go is going to be extremely hard. I’m not a person with a lot of friends, and this was an intense friendship so losing it has sent me reeling.
Let me say that I am pleasantly stunned by the great feedback I’ve received here. Thank you.
 
Hi Mark, I sent you a private e-mail.
I notice you live in Seattle. It would really cheer you up if you cruised on June 8th with a group of Catholics to Alaska. Check-out Father Straub Cruise website for more information.
You don’t have to fly since you live in Seattle. The group is planning lots of activities.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top