Being Gay in the Catholic Church

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aristotle

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Hello,

I am interested in becoming part of the Catholic Church. But I am gay. By this, I mean that I was born with only attraction toward men. This was not due to any traumatic circumstance; it is simply the way I was born. This I know, and so this will not be open to debate (it seems perfectly obvious to me).

What is a good Catholic group to go to, one that won’t try to “cure” me of these desires, but rather one that will help me live with them in a Christian manner?
 
aristotle said:
Hello,

I am interested in becoming part of the Catholic Church. But I am gay. By this, I mean that I was born with only attraction toward men. This was not due to any traumatic circumstance; it is simply the way I was born. This I know, and so this will not be open to debate (it seems perfectly obvious to me).

What is a good Catholic group to go to, one that won’t try to “cure” me of these desires, but rather one that will help me live with them in a Christian manner?
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First off, let me welcome you with open arms to the Catholic Church. But let me also warn you that living a gay lifestyle, one that includes sexual activity is a sin in the eyes of the church. It should also be pointed out that non-married heterosexual sexual activity is also a sin in the eyes of the church, so the church is consistent on the issue.

Honestly, I don’t know of any Catholic groups that are like what you ask, I’ve simple never looked into the issue. Sorry I can’t be of any help.
 
Some parishes have more to offer than others. It all depends on the local level. One place to contact would be St Joan of Arc Parish in Minneapolis, Minnesota. If you are not close to the parish they could probably help network you with more local resources nearby you.

stjoan.com/gl/index.htm
 
Seeing as it is that there is no cure for same sex attraction, you don’t need a support group. I am a member of no such group because I find them all too dismal. I simply attend mass every week. God is my support. Beware of reparative therapy.
 
aristotle said:
Hello,

I am interested in becoming part of the Catholic Church. But I am gay. By this, I mean that I was born with only attraction toward men. This was not due to any traumatic circumstance; it is simply the way I was born. This I know, and so this will not be open to debate (it seems perfectly obvious to me).

What is a good Catholic group to go to, one that won’t try to “cure” me of these desires, but rather one that will help me live with them in a Christian manner?
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Homosexuals are accepted as persons in the Catholic Church, but, their lifestyle and activities are not accepted. The Church does not accept homosexual lifestyles and acts as normal and acceptable, it considers them morally disordered. The Church with a unified voice strongly objects them for the protection of society as a whole. The Church teaches that “homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered”. (Gen 19:1-29; Lev 18:22,20:13; 1Cor 6:9; Rom 1:24-27; 1Tim 1:9-10) They are contrary to natural law. “Homosexual orientation entails no more sin than shortness or tallness. Is such an orientation a good thing in it self? No, objectively speaking, it is a deficiency, a disorder; but not a sin.”( Archbishop Pilarczyk) The many people with homosexual tendencies must be accepted with respect, and compassion as any other human person. To be homosexual does not cause a person to forfeit God’s love. All homosexual persons are called to live lives of chastity, as are all, who are not in a marriage relationship. The sexual act outside of marriage is always Gravely sinful. All who strive to live their lives according to God’s law’s can attain Christian perfection, and are welcome and invited into the Catholic Church.
 
I don’t think that you necessarily need therapy, nor do I recommend it under any circumstance if you aren’t willing to cooperate with a therapist. When I went through a bout of depression and anxiety, I went to a psychiatrist and took medication, assuming this was the solution. Much to my dismay, this made me worse, as my secular therapist seemed only to corrobate my suspicion that life had no meaning. I only began to recover when I threw my pills into the wastebin, told my psychiatrist I didn’t need her, and started to grow in faith.

As an unmarried heterosexual male, I know that lust and sexual sins are difficult to resist, regardless of who you are attracted to. Even married men sometimes have trouble with various sexual sins–it doesn’t suddenly disappear because you married or were ordained.

In a sense, we’re all in the same boat on this one. What I try to do to help become holier and resist temptation is say a prayer everyday to the Archangel Michael to help guard against impurity, and pray to Mary whenever an impure thought enters my head.

I once read that to overcome anything, one must become a man of prayer. If you pray, go to confession weekly, and recieve communion whenever you can, I am sure that you will be able to live a righteous life. A Marian devotion helps with this sort of thing: go to confession, go to mass within three days of the confession, and say the Rosary. This will bring you closer to the Immaculate heart of Mary.

Your friend,

Mat.
 
As a homosexual you have the same calling as a single heterosexual…to live a Chaste life. The only time your sexuality would become an issue is if you start telling the Church it’s wrong about gay marriage, and that it’s ok to have same gender sex. Welcome to the Church.
 
NewUlm1976_2000 said:
Some parishes have more to offer than others. It all depends on the local level. One place to contact would be St Joan of Arc Parish in Minneapolis, Minnesota. If you are not close to the parish they could probably help network you with more local resources nearby you.
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Be careful, Aristotle. Not all ministries are equally orthodox and faithful to the Magesterium. By your original post, you seem to be looking for a ministry that embraces Church teaching.

Courage is 100% faithful to the Magesterium and has been acknowledged for its work by the late JPII.

Then, there are some other “ministries” that are questionable.

So, please ensure that the ministry is centered on chastity.
 
1ke said:
Be careful, Aristotle. Not all ministries are equally orthodox and faithful to the Magesterium. By your original post, you seem to be looking for a ministry that embraces Church teaching.

Courage is 100% faithful to the Magesterium and has been acknowledged for its work by the late JPII.

Then, there are some other “ministries” that are questionable.

So, please ensure that the ministry is centered on chastity.
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I am referencing the Solidarity, Dignity of the Human Person, Common Good and Community, and Rights and Responsibilities parts of Catholic Social Teachings for my stance here.

osjspm.org/major_themes.aspx
 
As a homosexual you have the same calling as a single heterosexual…to live a Chaste life. . . . Welcome to the Church.
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I just thought that was worth repeating.
 
NewUlm1976_2000 said:
Some parishes have more to offer than others. It all depends on the local level. One place to contact would be St Joan of Arc Parish in Minneapolis, Minnesota. If you are not close to the parish they could probably help network you with more local resources nearby you.

stjoan.com/gl/index.htm
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I’m not sure that ignoring Church teaching would really be called support for a Catholic.
St. Joan of Arc’s GLBT Families
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St. Joan of Arc has a vibrant number of gay and lesbian partners with children. St. Joan of Arc’s GLBT Families Group was initiated to meet this diverse group’s needs.
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This is the equivalent of having a support group for unwed, heterosexual partners with children. Or, an adulterer’s support club. A parish should not support people living out their sin.

Some people with same sex attraction may be able to live a chaste life on their own (e.g. goofyjim), but others can benefit from groups like Courage.
 
NewUlm1976_2000 said:
I am referencing the Solidarity, Dignity of the Human Person, Common Good and Community, and Rights and Responsibilities parts of Catholic Social Teachings for my stance here.

osjspm.org/major_themes.aspx
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Unfortunately you were ignoring the other parts of Catholic teaching for your “stance”.

The website you linked above has articles and references on their website to items that are in direct opposition to Catholic teaching, including support of same-sex couple adoption, tacit approval of active homosexual lifestyle including “partners”, and a social group that marches in the Gay Pride parade.

Honestly, I find nothing *useful *in the link you posted and plenty that is *harmful *to someone who has come to a Catholic website looking for support in living a chaste life and in living a life in conformity to the Catholic Church teaching on same sex attraction.
 
I am referencing the Solidarity, Dignity of the Human Person, Common Good and Community, and Rights and Responsibilities parts of Catholic Social Teachings for my stance here.
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osjspm.org/major_themes.aspx
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Welcome here, Aristotle (=. I realize you didn’t post the above, but I believe it needs to be responded to anyway.

Be extremely wary of Christians who attempt to link Catholic social teaching inseperably with support for gravely evil acts (perhaps by trying to blanket both under “dignity of the human person” or a similar basic teaching). Such people are incredibly dangerous, not merely because they encourage others to sin, but because they are so intent on pushing their agenda that they are willing to actually harm the cause of social justice in order to support things like homosexual sex.

Such Christians dissuade Catholics and Christians who are extremely concerned with orthodoxy from pursuing social justice. By constantly linking social morality with support for homosexual sex (or support for contraception, or for female priests, or anything similar), these individuals cause Catholics like most you find on these boards to turn from Catholic social teaching and de-emphasize ot. How many Catholics can you find on this board who are extremely concerned with personal holiness and morality (as they should be), but never take the time to defend or promote basic Catholic social teaching (outside of the issue of abortion)?

But it isn’t really their fault; if many “social justice Catholics” try hard to link Catholic social teaching with their heterodoxical (and often pro-sin) agendas, and if it seems like all “social justice Catholics” are heretics, no wonder neoconservatist Catholics like those on these boards don’t promote social justice. So it comes to pass that these dangerous Catholics actually harm the cause of social justice by alienating extremely orthodox Catholics, and all because they’re so intent on pushing their pro-homosexual-sex-and-the-like agendas.

Sorry if that was confrontational, Aristotle; I don’t mean to imply at all that you support such individuals, and I honestly don’t have any idea whether or not the website NewUlm linked to promotes sin. I simply felt that this point needed to be made, and this thread felt like an appropriate place.

God bless!
 
Aristotle, welcome!

Have you talked to your priest about it? I’m sure you’re not the only one in the area having to deal with the issue and perhaps the priest has knowledge of groups in the locale.
 
I’m sorry, but I have to disagree with the comment, “I was born gay.” This is a common misconception that people have. God does not create gay human beings. He would never do such a thing.
 
Shadee216 said:
I’m sorry, but I have to disagree with the comment, “I was born gay.” This is a common misconception that people have. God does not create gay human beings. He would never do such a thing.
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[SIGN]Amen[/SIGN]
 
But it isn’t really their fault; if many “social justice Catholics” try hard to link Catholic social teaching with their heterodoxical (and often pro-sin) agendas, and if it seems like all “social justice Catholics” are heretics, no wonder neoconservatist Catholics like those on these boards don’t promote social justice. So it comes to pass that these dangerous Catholics actually harm the cause of social justice by alienating extremely orthodox Catholics, and all because they’re so intent on pushing their pro-homosexual-sex-and-the-like agendas.
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That’s why I’m not social justice anything, smacks of to much liberalism for me.
 
You were obviously not born with any sexual attraction toward men.

What I mean by this, is undeniably, you did not come from your mothers womb with having any sexual attraction towards men.

You came from a man and woman, usually having sex with one another.
But not always the case today.

But sexual nature and our coming to be born of this nature, shows sexual nature of a man and woman.

We develope, our bodies, minds, spirituality.
Maybe our sexuality, for we are not born sexually active.
We grow, we develope.

Maybe our sexuality, grows and developes.
Just as our minds by the enviroment, and teaching, how we are brought up.
Just as our bodies, exercise, healthy diet.

I don’t quite know what effects our sexuality.
I myself developed a desire for the female sex.
My physical sexual desires, can lead me just by my sexual appetite.

But my spiritual yearning, it wants love and a relationship, family all in the way God has created it for us.
I want to love my wife, I want my wife also to be submitive to God’s love, I would want us to bring our children up in God’s love, all encircled in His love and purpose.
This I beleive has a great connection to nature, as God is it’s creator.

I don’t know why you have turned out homosexual, only you can discover that within yourself.

But I know some who have, and it may with some be the case of sexual abuse.

I could accept many things of myself, is just the way I am and I cannot change.
And I cannot.
But God can change me.
He has, and it’s not all at once, I still have things that haven’t completely changed.

But we have to rely on God, to heal us, we have to take hold of His hand and be prepared to follow where He will lead us.

Saint Teresa of Avila says:
our whole welfare consists in doing the will of God. If we start with the false principle of wishing God to follow our will and to lead us in the way we think best, upon what firm foundation can this spiritual edifice rest?
 
Debating the issue of whether or not someone is born gay would best be discussed in its own thread.

Truth is, no one can say for sure, but all can express their opinions. IMO, gay is not a choice, but whether or not I was born gay is beside the point.

The point is whether I choose to follow the church’s teachings and live my life accordingly.

I would be careful which members of any catholic “support group” you spend time with, as some people who profess to be “reformed” become very homophobic.

Good luck, you will need it. Your life ahead will be one long battle against the flesh. Just like the rest of us.
 
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