L
Lost_Sheep
Guest
Thank you.My heart and prayers go out to you, because I know exactly
how you feel…I pray and pray the rosary and I feel God
can’t hear me or just forgot about me. Peace and Love to you
- Status
R
ready
Guest
Union with God and His holy Will *are necessary *for true happiness. We shall not find true happiness in mere amusements, diversions, etc. without union with God and His holy Will. We shall never have peace of mind without union with God and His holy Will either. Please read the short story found at the following link to find where true happiness lies:
catholictradition.org/Classics/heliotropium6.htm
catholictradition.org/Classics/heliotropium6.htm
C
christofirst
Guest
Lost Sheep,
You’ve received some good advice here, and I have gained some insight too. I cannot leave this thread without saying a good word about Ready’s consistent message. Your cynical side might think you’re hearing a broken record, but your Catholic side must know there is truth in what is said. Our pursuit of happiness will always remain frustrated to some degree this side of heaven, for some, it seems, more than others. Whatever else you find that gives you some relief in this life, try to remember that all truly good things come from God, Who is our source, and hopefully, our destination. Even if all you can muster is, “Lord, I believe, help my unbelief!” (a prayer I say often), do not give up on prayer. We fool ourselves if we think that healing, consolation and happiness, however we seem to find them, are not from God. If Prozac helps, then thank God for Prozac!
Take care, Chris
You’ve received some good advice here, and I have gained some insight too. I cannot leave this thread without saying a good word about Ready’s consistent message. Your cynical side might think you’re hearing a broken record, but your Catholic side must know there is truth in what is said. Our pursuit of happiness will always remain frustrated to some degree this side of heaven, for some, it seems, more than others. Whatever else you find that gives you some relief in this life, try to remember that all truly good things come from God, Who is our source, and hopefully, our destination. Even if all you can muster is, “Lord, I believe, help my unbelief!” (a prayer I say often), do not give up on prayer. We fool ourselves if we think that healing, consolation and happiness, however we seem to find them, are not from God. If Prozac helps, then thank God for Prozac!
Take care, Chris
J
jryder
Guest
youtube.com/watch?v=CsYQ1…ature=youtu.be
Amazing new Christmas song , talks about good values and forgiveness.
Amazing new Christmas song , talks about good values and forgiveness.
L
Lost_Sheep
Guest
Remember the Lil Abner comic strip? Remember the guy who always walked around with a cloud over his head? That’s they way I feel sometimes. Actually quite often.
I will be “celebrating” Christmas by myself this year. This past weekend, I had to take my wife back to our home town (400 miles away) to take care of her ailing mother. She will be spending the whole week up there. I am unable to stay there because having just started a new job (after 11 months of unemployment) I do not have any leave time saved up. The trip is too far to go and come back in one day. I cannot stay overnight because I have to report to work on Thursday morning. I have no family here in town, and all my friends will be out of town visiting there families too.
This is typical of the sort of thing that always seems to happen to me. It never seems to fail.
I will be “celebrating” Christmas by myself this year. This past weekend, I had to take my wife back to our home town (400 miles away) to take care of her ailing mother. She will be spending the whole week up there. I am unable to stay there because having just started a new job (after 11 months of unemployment) I do not have any leave time saved up. The trip is too far to go and come back in one day. I cannot stay overnight because I have to report to work on Thursday morning. I have no family here in town, and all my friends will be out of town visiting there families too.
This is typical of the sort of thing that always seems to happen to me. It never seems to fail.
J
JoJoWasAMan
Guest
Our Blessed Mother promised to Saint Bernadette to make her happy not in this life, but in the next. More prayer is always a good idea, but feelings are feelings, you can’t control them. For myself, medications always made me feel far worse. I think God’s Will is more prayer, not more drugs. In the end, pray, convert from your sins, and what more can anyone do? I will pray for you, too, and I wish you the best.
Peace!
Joe.
R
ready
Guest
Dear Lost_Sheep,Remember the Lil Abner comic strip? Remember the guy who always walked around with a cloud over his head? That’s they way I feel sometimes. Actually quite often.
I will be “celebrating” Christmas by myself this year. This past weekend, I had to take my wife back to our home town (400 miles away) to take care of her ailing mother. She will be spending the whole week up there. I am unable to stay there because having just started a new job (after 11 months of unemployment) I do not have any leave time saved up. The trip is too far to go and come back in one day. I cannot stay overnight because I have to report to work on Thursday morning. I have no family here in town, and all my friends will be out of town visiting there families too.
This is typical of the sort of thing that always seems to happen to me. It never seems to fail.
I shall remember you at Midnight Mass. May the Divine Infant Jesus smile upon you and be your best Christmas Guest with His company of Angels this Christmas and every Christmas. Too bad you have to report to work the day after Christmas, but thanks be to God you have found a job!
R
ready
Guest
“Alphonsus, the celebrated King of Naples and Aragon, when he was quite an old man, used to read Livy and Caesar every day, and translated the Epistles of Seneca into the Spanish tongue, and (lest you should think, good reader, that he was versed in profane writers alone) also read the whole Bible, Old and New Testament, together with commentaries on it, fourteen times, and this not in a hurried way either, but line by line. This king, I say, so justly famed for his piety and learning, has left the following Divine memorial to posterity, among many other sayings. Once upon a time he was asked whom he should call happy in this world, and he replied,-----“I judge that man to be perfectly happy in this life who commits himself with entire devotion and affection to the Lord his God, and approves and receives whatever befalls him in no other way than as what is done by God.” And may we not say that this is an oracle, and that it is a voice which comes to us from Heaven? An Angel could not have spoken more truly or devoutly.”
(Taken from Heliotropium by Fr. Jeremias Drexelius)
Dear Lost_Sheep,
I ask that you not wallow in self-pity over your circumstances and be sad, but rather commit yourself with entire devotion and affection to the Lord your God, and approve and receive whatever befalls you in no other way than as what is done by God – for He wills only what is the very best for you, always. There is some very good reason why you can not be with your wife this Christmas. I can assure you of this.
If you want to better get over the pain on being alone this Christmas, heed the wise words of St. Crysostom:
When pains of different kinds are experienced in the body, it generally happens that one is less acutely felt than the other. For example, if a person has a finger which has been injured and is festering, and at the same time is suffering violent pain in his stomach or head, he says nothing about his finger, but complains of the pain he feels in his stomach or head. And in the same way," says S. Chrysostom, “if loss of money or of honour and reputation, or any other calamity, encourages you to grieve, then excite in yourself contrition for your sins, and begin to mourn over them. Meditate upon the unspeakable insults and pains under- gone by Christ when scourged at the pillar, dragged along through the streets, and fastened on the Cross, and then recognize the punishment due to your sins. This sorrow will prevent the other from being felt, or will certainly mitigate it if it is felt.”
(Taken from Heliotropium by Fr. Jeremias Drexelius)
Dear Lost_Sheep,
I ask that you not wallow in self-pity over your circumstances and be sad, but rather commit yourself with entire devotion and affection to the Lord your God, and approve and receive whatever befalls you in no other way than as what is done by God – for He wills only what is the very best for you, always. There is some very good reason why you can not be with your wife this Christmas. I can assure you of this.
If you want to better get over the pain on being alone this Christmas, heed the wise words of St. Crysostom:
When pains of different kinds are experienced in the body, it generally happens that one is less acutely felt than the other. For example, if a person has a finger which has been injured and is festering, and at the same time is suffering violent pain in his stomach or head, he says nothing about his finger, but complains of the pain he feels in his stomach or head. And in the same way," says S. Chrysostom, “if loss of money or of honour and reputation, or any other calamity, encourages you to grieve, then excite in yourself contrition for your sins, and begin to mourn over them. Meditate upon the unspeakable insults and pains under- gone by Christ when scourged at the pillar, dragged along through the streets, and fastened on the Cross, and then recognize the punishment due to your sins. This sorrow will prevent the other from being felt, or will certainly mitigate it if it is felt.”
R
rosemerry
Guest
Hello Lost_Sheep,
I’m in my early twenties and have already experienced two periods of depression lasting about two years each (and I wouldn’t be surprised if I experience it all again someday). Even when not in these longer spells of depression, I’ve still had short episodes of feeling depressed and lost. I understand that you do not want to pray, because in depression, everything, God included, can seem like a hopeless cause.
While I cannot compare my situation to yours, perhaps I can offer some help.
Right now I’m reading Between Heaven and Mirth by James Martin, SJ. He makes a good point: “It’s important during times of struggle to speak to a close friend, family member, a priest or minister, or a therapist. And it’s important to shares those struggles with God in prayer.” An outsider’s counsel could help. For example, I spoke with a priest about my depression once and his opinion really hit me: he told me that I shouldn’t focus so much on myself. How can anyone be happy who focuses on his-or-herself and his or her problems above all else? I know that in depression it is hard to see past your situation. Depression obscures our point of view, and we think everything is futile, that our situation has no good in it, that we would rather have any problems but these. But there has to be something good in your life. And there have to be people in the world whose suffering is much greater than yours. So, to reiterate the advice of that priest, try to see outside of yourself. Think about others who suffer. Even if seeing past your problems is difficult, step outside of yourself anyway and help those in need, or help those in your own home. Do something “selfless.” If you’re Catholic, you’re probably aware of the works of mercy. Those could be a great start.
Secondly, what has helped me move out of my depression is finding stability in life. And keeping busy. When depressed, nearly all of my relationships were failing or strained, I felt distant from my family, my faith was at its lowest point, my sense of purpose was gone, and so on. But it would help you to find a sense of stability, whether in your family, friendships, religious practices, etc. When I couldn’t take the loneliness of depression anymore, I pushed myself to make new friends and to maintain those friendships. These now solid relationships have become a source of stability. I realized that close friendships and more human connection were missing in my life. I also involved myself in an organization that kept me busy, served a purpose outside of myself, and allowed me to meet new people. Being around people is important. Staying busy is important. Why not take up a hobby that you used to enjoy (even if you don’t feel like engaging in it any more) or try something you’ve always wanted to do–but haven’t yet–in order to better yourself. The busier you are, the less time you have to wallow in your sorrows. It takes time to move out of a place of depression; it’s certainly not an easy or instant.
Lastly, if your faith is lost, pray for faith. Praying for faith may sound strange, but keep persistence and confidence in that prayer. Actually, when your defenses are lowered and you are feeling helpless is when you pray your most honest prayers. If you’re Catholic, attend Sunday mass, weekday mass too when you can. When my faith was lost, I could not have recovered it had I not continued to attend mass weekly. It took time, but eventually my skepticism was replaced with a glimmer of faith, and that faith only continued to grow. Faith offers a profound sense of stability and peace.
Don’t give up on anything. You can see this through!
I’m in my early twenties and have already experienced two periods of depression lasting about two years each (and I wouldn’t be surprised if I experience it all again someday). Even when not in these longer spells of depression, I’ve still had short episodes of feeling depressed and lost. I understand that you do not want to pray, because in depression, everything, God included, can seem like a hopeless cause.
While I cannot compare my situation to yours, perhaps I can offer some help.
Right now I’m reading Between Heaven and Mirth by James Martin, SJ. He makes a good point: “It’s important during times of struggle to speak to a close friend, family member, a priest or minister, or a therapist. And it’s important to shares those struggles with God in prayer.” An outsider’s counsel could help. For example, I spoke with a priest about my depression once and his opinion really hit me: he told me that I shouldn’t focus so much on myself. How can anyone be happy who focuses on his-or-herself and his or her problems above all else? I know that in depression it is hard to see past your situation. Depression obscures our point of view, and we think everything is futile, that our situation has no good in it, that we would rather have any problems but these. But there has to be something good in your life. And there have to be people in the world whose suffering is much greater than yours. So, to reiterate the advice of that priest, try to see outside of yourself. Think about others who suffer. Even if seeing past your problems is difficult, step outside of yourself anyway and help those in need, or help those in your own home. Do something “selfless.” If you’re Catholic, you’re probably aware of the works of mercy. Those could be a great start.
Secondly, what has helped me move out of my depression is finding stability in life. And keeping busy. When depressed, nearly all of my relationships were failing or strained, I felt distant from my family, my faith was at its lowest point, my sense of purpose was gone, and so on. But it would help you to find a sense of stability, whether in your family, friendships, religious practices, etc. When I couldn’t take the loneliness of depression anymore, I pushed myself to make new friends and to maintain those friendships. These now solid relationships have become a source of stability. I realized that close friendships and more human connection were missing in my life. I also involved myself in an organization that kept me busy, served a purpose outside of myself, and allowed me to meet new people. Being around people is important. Staying busy is important. Why not take up a hobby that you used to enjoy (even if you don’t feel like engaging in it any more) or try something you’ve always wanted to do–but haven’t yet–in order to better yourself. The busier you are, the less time you have to wallow in your sorrows. It takes time to move out of a place of depression; it’s certainly not an easy or instant.
Lastly, if your faith is lost, pray for faith. Praying for faith may sound strange, but keep persistence and confidence in that prayer. Actually, when your defenses are lowered and you are feeling helpless is when you pray your most honest prayers. If you’re Catholic, attend Sunday mass, weekday mass too when you can. When my faith was lost, I could not have recovered it had I not continued to attend mass weekly. It took time, but eventually my skepticism was replaced with a glimmer of faith, and that faith only continued to grow. Faith offers a profound sense of stability and peace.
Don’t give up on anything. You can see this through!
L
Lost_Sheep
Guest
Thank you, Rosemerry.
A few responses to what you have to offer.
Unlike you, I am in my mid-50s; Hindsight tells me I’ve probably had some sort of depressive illness since childhood, but it wasn’t formally diagnosed until 1994. I take a whole cornucopia of medicines but it really doesn’t helped much other than just barely keep my head above water.
As far as stability goes, I have been married to the same woman for 28 years (following a six-year courtship). We are both Catholics (alas, no children
), dutifully attend mass every Sunday and have tried to live by the Church’s teachings for our entire relationship, (no pre-marital sex, etc.). We have a house in the suburbs we’ve lived in for 25 years, my wife has a good job, mine is pretty good, and we both have masters-degree educations. I’d say we are as stable as it gets.We have struggled with money problems which is a large contributor to my depression. Now we’ve always been able to pay our bills and put food on the table; we’ve always been fiscally responsible and our credit rating is over 800 last time I checked. Still, we don’t have a lot of money for extras; the things that make life fun.
The one hobby I really enjoy is restoring an old sports car I bought but as you can imagine, that is an expensive hobby. And without money; it is difficult to spend much time enjoying it. As far as “selflessness” goes, my dog is a certified therapy animal and I volunteer with a local group of therapy dog owners. I do my “ministry” by providing emotional comfort to seniors, sick children, disaster victims, etc. through my dog.
I could go on, but you get the idea. I’m already doing all the things that people suggest. I suppose it helps a little, but it doesn’t solve the problem.
And with the prayer aspect, as I’m sure you know, it is hard to get yourself kickstarted to believe in the power of prayer. I am a naturally impatient person (spare me the bit about learning to be patient; at my age that isn’t going to happen). I am a technical type person by nature and my way of thinking reflects that. I work with computers for a living and I am use to getting “instant feedback” whenever I work on something. So waiting on prayers to “do any good” is hard for me to do. A priest once told me that I should not pray because I want something but rather I should pray to praise and glory God. Well, I believe that God is responsible for my lot in life so it is hard to get motivated to praise him.
Thank you again for understanding.
F
Finding_Answers
Guest
Hello,
I can relate as have been depressed at times but what helps is keeping busy like a routine. The meds are like resources like depressants as was on the highest dose once but weaned myself off realising my improvement. Emotions are part of being human meds like this block them well that is their purpose. What can help if you can write a positive list of things. Then when you get depressed to look reminding yourself of all the good things should help you feeling happy.
All the best.
R
rosemerry
Guest
Hmm well that certainly makes your situation clearer. I’m sorry that my advice doesn’t help. Your life seems to be in balance, but if your emotional life is not, then I know that makes all the difference. You may have done this already, but have you sought out other online communities that are more focused on healing mental illness?Thank you, Rosemerry.
A few responses to what you have to offer.
Unlike you, I am in my mid-50s; Hindsight tells me I’ve probably had some sort of depressive illness since childhood, but it wasn’t formally diagnosed until 1994. I take a whole cornucopia of medicines but it really doesn’t helped much other than just barely keep my head above water.
As far as stability goes, I have been married to the same woman for 28 years (following a six-year courtship). We are both Catholics (alas, no children
We have struggled with money problems which is a large contributor to my depression. Now we’ve always been able to pay our bills and put food on the table; we’ve always been fiscally responsible and our credit rating is over 800 last time I checked. Still, we don’t have a lot of money for extras; the things that make life fun.
The one hobby I really enjoy is restoring an old sports car I bought but as you can imagine, that is an expensive hobby. And without money; it is difficult to spend much time enjoying it. As far as “selflessness” goes, my dog is a certified therapy animal and I volunteer with a local group of therapy dog owners. I do my “ministry” by providing emotional comfort to seniors, sick children, disaster victims, etc. through my dog.
I could go on, but you get the idea. I’m already doing all the things that people suggest. I suppose it helps a little, but it doesn’t solve the problem.
And with the prayer aspect, as I’m sure you know, it is hard to get yourself kickstarted to believe in the power of prayer. I am a naturally impatient person (spare me the bit about learning to be patient; at my age that isn’t going to happen). I am a technical type person by nature and my way of thinking reflects that. I work with computers for a living and I am use to getting “instant feedback” whenever I work on something. So waiting on prayers to “do any good” is hard for me to do. A priest once told me that I should not pray because I want something but rather I should pray to praise and glory God. Well, I believe that God is responsible for my lot in life so it is hard to get motivated to praise him.
Thank you again for understanding.
R
rosemerry
Guest
I’m hardly educated on the subject of meds for depression, but I have a friend who, when put on antidepressants, became suicidal when she wasn’t before. I know of others who say their medicine makes them emotionally numb because it blocks all emotions. There are times of joy and sadness in all lives, and to feel either is to be emotionally alive. Going off your meds could be one possibility for healing–or perhaps for destruction-- I can’t speak confidently either way nor can I say what going off medicine would mean for you.
I would look for advice on your situation elsewhere. Catholic Answers is a wonderful source, but if you are not wanting specifically Catholic advice, then it may not be the place to help you with your situation. Best of luck
R
rosemerry
Guest
*I just want to add that I don’t mean for you to leave Catholic Answers or to stop speaking about your depression on this site, only that it might help if you looked for answers elsewhere too, on sites that are more centered on depression.I would look for advice on your situation elsewhere. Catholic Answers is a wonderful source, but if you are not wanting specifically Catholic advice, then it may not be the place to help you with your situation. Best of luck
L
Lost_Sheep
Guest
Those are the “horror stories” you hear about from time to time but it’s the exception rather than the rule. Most people do very well on antidepressants; I’ve never had a suicidal thought that I would attribute to the meds.
I
InLight247
Guest
I believe there are two major essences to be happy - being grateful, and having an intimate relationship with God.
You have a nice house, a beautiful wife, a good job, a loyal dog, a church to belong, a place to volunteer, an ancient car purchased to remodel (although not currently in active process). Don’t you agree all these are God’s blessings? Think about those who are physically ill, unemployed, without a family, without a house, without a place to live, without any one to talk to, without any resource to live for the next day… Comparing to so many less fortunate, don’t you agree you are very blessed? Won’t you be grateful? A grateful heart brings joy, an ungrateful heart brings misery.
We are all made for God, with a God-shaped void in our heart. Only God can fill that void. We will always be restless until we rest in God. That is why so many people who have everything are still miserable. Possessions can never satisfy a human heart. Wealth, power, fame, beauty, relationship with others, none suffices. Only God can fulfill the deepest longing of a human heart.
Therefore the best recommendation I can think of is to count your blessings, be grateful, and to cultivate your relationship with God. I hope this makes sense.
R
ready
Guest
Dear Lost_Sheep,
Without the virtue patience you will never EVER be truly happy. If you only seek instant gratification, you are in big trouble.
"It is a mark of great virtue not to wish that your desires should be granted at once. Unwearying patience is of the greatest power, for it can bring into leaf and flower even that barrenest of trees, which has been tended for three whole years. Hence the following counsel of the Son of Sirach:-----“Endure: and make not haste in the time of clouds. Join thyself to God, and endure, that thy life may be increased in the latter end. Take all that shall be brought upon thee: and in thy sorrow endure, and in thy humiliation keep patience. Behold the generations of men: and know ye that no one hath hoped in the Lord, and hath been confounded. For who hath continued in His commandment, and hath been forsaken? Woe to them that have lost patience. And what will they do, when the Lord shall begin to examine? They that fear the Lord, will prepare their hearts, and in His sight will sanctify their souls.” (Ecclus. II. 2 and foll.) But man’s own will ever strives in a contrary direction, and imperiously demands what it desires, in this way:-----“Give me at once; let it be done forthwith; immediately grant it; let there be no delay; and let there be an end to all hesitation.” And therefore we stand in constant need of the caution,-----“Wait, till we see what end the thing will have.” (Ruth III, 18) “If it make any delay wait for it, for it shall surely come, and it shall not be slack.” (Hab. II. 3) "
Trust in God, Lost_Sheep, and endure your sufferings patiently for the love of Him. The saints have said that He will only forsake us if we first forsake Him. You seem to have forsaken Him, dear friend – beware! God bless you.
(excerpt taken from *Heliotropium *by Fr. Jeremias Drexelius, emphasis mine)
Without the virtue patience you will never EVER be truly happy. If you only seek instant gratification, you are in big trouble.
"It is a mark of great virtue not to wish that your desires should be granted at once. Unwearying patience is of the greatest power, for it can bring into leaf and flower even that barrenest of trees, which has been tended for three whole years. Hence the following counsel of the Son of Sirach:-----“Endure: and make not haste in the time of clouds. Join thyself to God, and endure, that thy life may be increased in the latter end. Take all that shall be brought upon thee: and in thy sorrow endure, and in thy humiliation keep patience. Behold the generations of men: and know ye that no one hath hoped in the Lord, and hath been confounded. For who hath continued in His commandment, and hath been forsaken? Woe to them that have lost patience. And what will they do, when the Lord shall begin to examine? They that fear the Lord, will prepare their hearts, and in His sight will sanctify their souls.” (Ecclus. II. 2 and foll.) But man’s own will ever strives in a contrary direction, and imperiously demands what it desires, in this way:-----“Give me at once; let it be done forthwith; immediately grant it; let there be no delay; and let there be an end to all hesitation.” And therefore we stand in constant need of the caution,-----“Wait, till we see what end the thing will have.” (Ruth III, 18) “If it make any delay wait for it, for it shall surely come, and it shall not be slack.” (Hab. II. 3) "
Trust in God, Lost_Sheep, and endure your sufferings patiently for the love of Him. The saints have said that He will only forsake us if we first forsake Him. You seem to have forsaken Him, dear friend – beware! God bless you.
(excerpt taken from *Heliotropium *by Fr. Jeremias Drexelius, emphasis mine)
R
ready
Guest
“God rejoices to confer benefits, and showers the gifts of His munificence on those especially who elevate themselves to great Trust in Him. But if He keeps His bounteous Hand fast closed, and does not spread out the cloud of His Liberality, or only causes it to rain down upon us with very gentle drops, let us silently reflect Who it is that has dried up that heavenly cloud, which hangs suspended in the air, ever ready to descend in showers, and has caused it to cease from falling; let each person, I say, reflect on this, and accuse his sins, his lukewarmness and languor, and specially his want of Trust in God, and let him rouse himself to fresh Trust and hope for showers instead of drops. For when hindrances have been removed these clouds are ever ready to rain, and not merely now with such showers as were expected, but whole rivers and seas will, as it were, be cast down from Heaven that they may overwhelm in the waters of their abundance the heart which pants after them, and is strong in Trust. For God is not so rich in promises as in deeds. He has promised that even mountains may be removed, and the dead raised to life again.”
(excerpt taken from Heliotropium by Fr. Jeremias Drexelius)
(excerpt taken from Heliotropium by Fr. Jeremias Drexelius)
L
Lost_Sheep
Guest
No. I worked my butt off for those things. God had nothing to do with it.
Obviously God does not care about them either.
See response #1 above.
Look, this may sound a little on the immature side, but I did not ask to be born. I am stuck in this miserable existence through no fault of my own. God put me here. He owes me.
L
Lost_Sheep
Guest
Sorry, but that is just the way I am. Patience is not part of my genetic make-up.
Me? Forsaken Him? HELLO! I’m the one who’s been forsaken.
Look, I don’t trust in God. Why should I? I never seen any reason why I should. God is not the answer to my problems; He is the cause of them.
I hate to be so argumentative but I get the feeling that some people just don’t get it.
- Status