Being Happy

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Don’t get me wrong here. I have not outright rejected God. I want very much to believe He cares, but I’m just not feeling it.

I once explained to my shrink (when I was really really down) that before anyone can help me with my depression someone is going to first have to convince me that I even *can *be helped.

Likewise, until it is proven to my satisfaction that God cares (and like I said, I’m not feeling it) trying to pray isn’t the answer because my heart won’t be in it.

And please don’t suggest that I can overcome that problem with more prayer. PRAYER IS NOT THE ANSWER! PERIOD! :mad:
Your frustration and anger is entirely understandable. But you cannot let your emotions and feelings lead you. I cannot say whether your depression will ever disappear. Perhaps it is something you will struggle with for the rest of your days.

But you are completely rejecting the only true answer to your question. That is prayer. I am assuming at this moment and I beg you to allow me this small trespass. Is your frustration with prayer because you believe your prayer has not been answered so far? What have you been praying for? Do you pray that God will take your depression away? And He has not, thus leading you to become cold and indifferent to prayer?

If this is the case—and I do not say that it definitely is the case—then you have approached prayer from the very beginning fundamentally wrong. It is no wonder that you are cold to prayer when you have not been praying right! It is a natural human response for our first petition to always be that a burden be lifted from us in times of hardship. But you are seeking happiness, and true happiness is not natural, it is supernatural. So you must seek a supernatural response, that is grace. And grace is granted to virtuous petitions and causes. It is natural to ask God to spare you a cross, it is virtuous and holy to ask God to give you the grace to carry that cross.

From reading your posts I believe you are being self-centred. I do not mean to judge you. You are human as am I and I do not in any way pretend to be a bastion of sanctity and holiness. But you appear to be only seeking your own comfort and your own peace by seeking to eliminate your troubles entirely. But we learned this lesson from Christ in the garden. “Father …] not my will, but thine be done!”

You are suffering now and my heart does go out to you. I can only give you one answer to why you are suffering and that is because your own greater good will come from it if you suffer as a Christian suffers. That is in union with the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Sorrowful Heart of His Mother. Our lives here will always be fraught with hardship and trial. But our lives in heaven, which is our end and should be our only goal, will be glorious. And meriting through our sufferings on earth will only increase our glory ten-fold the other side of this life.

But I readily admit that my words may not be of much consolation to you right now. So I propose one final thought to you. Your suffering need not be for yourself. Follow in the footsteps of Our Lord and offer your suffering to the Father in Heaven for others. When you wake up say “Lord, thy will and not mine be done, I offer everything to you today for the Holy Souls in Purgatory” or some other such intention. How many souls sojourn in purgatory right now that you could free with that simple prayer? Through your suffering how much joy can you bring to their hearts, hearts that will finally come into their thrones in heaven? And how happy would Our Lord Jesus be at seeing more of his brethren freed from that place to enjoy eternal communion with Him? Or how many souls can you save in their Last Agony by offering your suffering to God that they may triumph in that final battle for their souls between Heaven and the entire array of hell?

There is a purpose behind your suffering. The greater glory of God, your own sanctification and the sanctification of the world.

Do not close yourself to prayer. Pray but more importantly, pray right.

Yours in Jesus and Mary,
OS.
 
Thomas didn’t believe it was Jesus until he felt the wounds in Jesus’ palms. He has been called Doubting Thomas. Remove your doubts.
 
Don’t go by feelings, Lost_Sheep; just look at a crucifix and see how much God loves you and cares about you. The crucifix is proof to us all that God cares so much about us – He even gave up His own life for us to a most cruel and bitter death so that we could enter eternal heavenly bliss with Him.
Oh, please. Christ’s suffering was all physical. Mine is emotional which is worse.
I think that God is preparing a place in Heaven for you and is pruning you. Remember, without the present cross and suffering and dying to self there can be no future resurrection with glory. God’s will is that you suffer like his Son Jesus did (and He suffered immensely!). In this vale of tears you will experience great trials and suffering, but it is only so that God’s will can be accomplished in you – your sanctification here on earth and beatitude in Heaven.
So what you are suggesting is my current situation is really my own “crucifixion” to prepare me for something better?
Even if you know you won’t FEEL what you say when you pray to God you still MUST communicate with Him, that is, you must pray to him, even if without words (Tell him with your heart how much you love him or want to love him; tell him with your heart how you want to trust him but are having some trust issues; tell him how you are sorry for wanting to kill him sometimes and let him know that you know that your feelings are very wrong; tell him you are very, very sorry for your irreverence and that you want to honor him and need some help doing so; tell him all your doubts, fears, joys, etc. – just have a faithful father-son relationship with him).
That will take some time.
Remember what St. Alphonsus says about those who do not pray – they will be damned! So if you don’t want to be damned pray to God with sorrow for your sins, with thanksgiving for your wife and for all the other good in your life, especially in thanksgiving for all the tortures He suffered for you in HIs Passion. The bottom line is: if you want to be saved, then you must pray – even if in the beginning, or for a long time, you won’t FEEL what you are saying.*** Just WILL what you are saying and that will be enough! ***
I hope it is not too late.
 
Oh, please. Christ’s suffering was all physical. Mine is emotional which is worse.
But that is not true my friend. First and foremost consider the sheer extent of the physical sufferings of Christ. It was only by the fact that He is God that He could live until the consummation of the Cross. But are you really going to sit and say that Christ suffered no emotional and mental suffering? The Agony in the Garden… the agony was not from the bloody sweat, rather the blood sweat was a result of the sheer internal anguish that He suffered. Are you so ready to state that someone that is scourged and crucified would experience no emotional torment from the experience? That the jeering laughter of the crowd, the insolence of the soldiers, would have had no emotional impact?

Come now…

And even if you believe that Christ suffered solely physical torment… what about Our Lady, Mother of Sorrows and Queen of Martyrs? Oh for she is truly the Queen of martyrs although she suffered no physical pain in her martyrdom. If you cannot believe it of Christ, can you believe it of His Mother? The mother that stood by Him as His flesh was flayed? The mother that watched as her Son was nailed to a tree? The mother that listened to the taunts and blasphemies hurled against Him? The mother that received the broken and desolated body of her Son from the Cross? Can you possibly say that she does not understand? And in your arrogance would you dare presume to state that her sufferings cannot equal your own?

She understands truly what you are going through. Your emotional and mental struggles and torments do not even register on the horrors that she experienced. In fact Saint Aplhonsus tells us that she only survived the emotional passion she suffered as she watched her Son’s Redeeming action by an act of God. So throw yourself into her maternal arms, she is there to comfort you, she is there to support you and she will always plead for you before the throne of God. In Mary all things can be accomplished.

Yours in Jesus and Mary,
OS.
 
Your frustration and anger is entirely understandable. But you cannot let your emotions and feelings lead you. I cannot say whether your depression will ever disappear. Perhaps it is something you will struggle with for the rest of your days.

I have pretty much resigned myself to that.
But you are completely rejecting the only true answer to your question. That is prayer. I am assuming at this moment and I beg you to allow me this small trespass. Is your frustration with prayer because you believe your prayer has not been answered so far? What have you been praying for? Do you pray that God will take your depression away? And He has not, thus leading you to become cold and indifferent to prayer?
Thank you.
 
I have also suffered with depression, regret, brooding, etc my whole life. Some of it I believe is hereditary in my family, some of it (most) is self inflicted from a life of sin. There have been many very dark periods in my life full of emotional and spiritual agony.

I have prayed for answers to these many problems in my life, to be free from lust, bloated pride, anxiety, depression, jealousy, regret. Where is God in all this when the answers and solutions are not forthcoming? When I asked him for answers, he did not give me the answers I wanted. But he gives me the only answer that matters…Himself. This is hard to swallow when we want solutions and answers in our own way.

God is the answer himself. His existence and presence is the only good, and the complete good, the only source of joy and happiness. All else fades to nothing. The only purpose of life is to be united to him. God gives us a “way” to unity with him, in the person of Jesus Christ.

Who is Jesus Christ? He is God in the flesh, spotless, without blame or sin, he is infinitely good and loving. Yet he was subjected to a cruel and scandalous human death. This is infinitely unjust and unfair. His death is the ultimate injustice, the ultimate unanswered prayer. (Father if you are willing, let this cup pass me by)
This is a prayer from Him who is deserving of answers and solutions, but it was not answered the way we would like, there is no comfort or good feelings here. None of the suffering or injustice we endure can compare with his. That fact doesn’t make it all better, but puts suffering in the proper perspective.

I can only say that in my life, suffering slowly opened a door to peace and joy that I did not understand. I still don’t understand it. I just know that as other posters have said above, our suffering united to Christ’s opens the door for all good things. Uniting ourselves to Christ is not some half hearted and barely acceptable second rate solution to life, it is the one and only way there is. There is no other way. He is the way. The cross is absolutely unavoidable for each and every human being.

We have to trust this and plunge forward faithfully, and accept what God gives us. This is very hard to do, but God’s love is there, and that is the only thing that matters. His love is for eternity, our suffering is only the blink of an eye. Trusting God seems like a weak surrender to our problems, but in fact it’s the only power that matters, and it’s the only power we really have.
 
Think of what happens at the Mass. The sacrificial suffering of Jesus is at the heart of it. But His suffering has not brought despair and slavery.Think of the fruit of his suffering, faithfully endured:

The choirs of angels and all the heavenly hosts rejoice. All of creation sings in praise. Through Him, with Him, in Him comes all glory and honor.
This is the fruit of his suffering, faithfully endured.

This is what we are promised a participation in, if we trust Christ in our suffering as well as good times. Eternal rejoicing. God’s promises are good. He does not fail on his promises, his love does not end for those who trust him.
 
Thanks ynotzap, for your post!
you are welcomed brother in Christ. There is a philosophical truth that shines by its own light . “you can,t give what you don,t have” And there are times we can,t give what we don’t have. We as christians have given our love, our prayers ,our experience and our best efforts to help Lost-sheep. We can’t change his mind or his convictions, It is his free will (I don’t believe he is lost, maybe mixed up, confused) but I believe he is honest, and from his description of his life, he shows evidence of good will. Not only that, he is a brother in the Faith, stamped with an indelibile sign. He belongs to God, like us. He appears to be his own enemy, like many of us. I know that Jesus loves him infinitely. He loved us while we were in sin. Jesus’ love doesn’t depend on Lost sheep’s love for Jesus. Thats why I said “It’s O.K.” to him trusting in God’s love for him. He can’t give what he doesn’t have, only God can give what he needs(thats what salvation is all about. and that’s when we really experience His love for us.) He gives us a heart of flesh, for a heart of stone. I see this thread as a really providential one. They all are, but this one I find very significant. Our Church is loaded with the truth in Her teaching and doctrines because Christ is its head, and the Holy Spirit its soul. We are strong on convictions of truth, but knowing the life of Christ, He wept, He was sad, He was hungry and thirsty, He mourned, He delighted in children, He spat on the ground and made a clay like lump and put in on the eyes of a blind man. He had feeling like us. He was like us in every way except sin. What I am trying to say is that we are loaded with convictions but poor in sentiment. Feelings are looked upon as a spiritual weakness, I know this for a fact. Often quoted “More blessed are they who believe and have not seen” and its true. But Jesus in His mercy became all things to all men. He has given many signs through His mother, through the saints. Even St.Theresa of Avilla professed that when we climb the mountain of perfection God does provide a place of spiritual oasis along the way. she speaks of spiritual consolations. She states there are some souls that can climb the shear mountain side (the practice of virtues without consolation) but this was not for her. Yet she was spiritual giant,by God’s graces. My own attitude about feeling is “dear God if it brings me closer to You, pour it on”, who am I to tell Him what to do, and who knows the mind of the Lord. I have the experience of not seeing but believing, like most,if not all of us, but by God’s benevolence I also had “consolations of seeing” I also helped others to receive these blessings, for they are 'gratuitus, freely given. We catholics need more feeling to make us whole, body and soul not just soul. To be whole, is to be holy. Lost Sheep is in need of this “Holy Sentiment” and not only him, perhaps all of us. I have a prayer, its an old one, made a few modifications.

Look down upon me, good , gentle and humble Jesus, while before Thy cross, I humbly kneel with burning soul I pray and beseech Thee to fix deep in my heart and soul the lively sentiments and convictions of Faith, Hope and Love…You know, He did!: Praise God!! 👍
 
Dear Lost_Sheep,

A faithful Catholic experiences a daily crucifixion that is much, much less painful than Christ’s, but still is a crucifixion … and if he suffers patiently and faithfully TO THE END, he will be rewarded a million, billion, trillion, zillion times over by our Lord, Who is perfectly just and rewards good and punishes evil. Daily contradictions, misunderstandings, ill treatment, ridicule, painful illnesses (including depression), unemployment, homelessness, etc. born well, that is, selflessly, patiently, faithfully, courageously, and all for the love of God – is like one long crucifixion, but a crucifixion that is also followed by guaranteed reward and glory for those who persevere to the end.(Lost_Sheep, Christ suffered a great deal mentally. Why do you think He sweat Blood! Ven. Mary of Agreda says that He even sweat His Blood as a baby because of His anguish.)

But you don’t want to suffer selflessly, do you? You say you don’t even care about God’s Will. If you only seek your will and not God’s (Whose Will is holy and perfect and what is the very best for you) then I really can’t help you. I’m hoping that my posts can at least be helpful to somebody else who is seeking their happiness in God and in His holy Will. You are putting yourself before our Lord, dear friend, which certainly will be the cause of your utter ruin. You are in my prayers. God bless you.
 
Dear ynotzap,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I enjoyed reading your post. It is funny that you should say that we can’t give what we don’t have because *just yesterday *I heard the same saying and thought of … Lost_Sheep! The big problem I see here is that Lost_Sheep is so upset with God that he is refusing to ask Him for what he so desperately needs. And God requires us to ask for what we need, says the saints. (Why do you think a ring on our Lady of the Miraculous Medal’s finger has no rays coming forth from it?) If we ask, seek, and knock (with a humble and contrite heart), then we are guaranteed what we ask for – or guaranteed something even better for us, for Christ says we shall receive. If on the other hand, we don’t ask, seek and knock, then we are not promised anything. If Lost_Sheep were meek and humble, like Jesus, and were contrite like the saints, then our Lord would help him in such wonderful ways. But Lost_Sheep is proud and God resists the proud and does not hear them. That’s what the Scriptures says. Lost_Sheep is not meek (he’s so angry with God) and he is not humble (he thinks God owes him something and is abusing him and he could care less about His holy Will) and he doesn’t even show any contrition for his irreverence toward God. I fear for Lost_Sheep. His soul is in grave peril, until the day he gains humility, meekness and contrition – and a willingness to pray. I told him what St. Alphonsus has said about those who don’t pray being damned. But does Lost_Sheep care about what St. Alphonsus has said? He may just think that he knows more than the saint. I hope and pray that he doesn’t because those who do not pray are certainly damned (says more than one saint). I told Lost_Sheep just to WILL what he says when he prays, even if he doesn’t FEEL what he says – but will Lost_Sheep follow this counsel? Or will he refuse to humble himself before God? Those who do not pray are damned, and Lost_Sheep still refuses to pray. It makes no difference his reasons for not praying; – he still will be damned if he refuses to pray. His soul is in grave peril because he is refusing the medicine that will help him – the medicine of humility and prayer! God bless you.
 
Dear Lost_Sheep,

I’m afraid you’re just like a spoiled child who wants only what he wants, and now. Self-will and love for immediate gratification will put you in Hell. Don’t you know that good things come to those who wait, to those who are humbly patient and wait upon the Lord? The Lord is faithful to his promises … but we must be humbly patient for what we ask for. Did he not promise never to forsake his people? I mean no disrespect, but if you think that you are forsaken, you may just want to ask yourself if you are really still his. He will not forsake his own … we have his word. God bless you.
 
Dear Lost_Sheep,

A faithful Catholic experiences a daily crucifixion that is much, much less painful than Christ’s, but still is a crucifixion … and if he suffers patiently and faithfully TO THE END, he will be rewarded a million, billion, trillion, zillion times over by our Lord, Who is perfectly just and rewards good and punishes evil. Daily contradictions, misunderstandings, ill treatment, ridicule, painful illnesses (including depression), unemployment, homelessness, etc. born well, that is, selflessly, patiently, faithfully, courageously, and all for the love of God – is like one long crucifixion, but a crucifixion that is also followed by guaranteed reward and glory for those who persevere to the end.(Lost_Sheep, Christ suffered a great deal mentally. Why do you think He sweat Blood! Ven. Mary of Agreda says that He even sweat His Blood as a baby because of His anguish.)

But you don’t want to suffer selflessly, do you? You say you don’t even care about God’s Will. If you only seek your will and not God’s (Whose Will is holy and perfect and what is the very best for you) then I really can’t help you. I’m hoping that my posts can at least be helpful to somebody else who is seeking their happiness in God and in His holy Will. You are putting yourself before our Lord, dear friend, which certainly will be the cause of your utter ruin. You are in my prayers. God bless you.
Please do not confuse my anger and frustration with a lack of faith. I just don’t think that God cares; that’s all. If God does care about me He doesn’t seem to be very forthcoming about it. If I’m destined to suffer through life I guess I’m destined to suffer through life.

Still, it is no fun.
 
God is present in the souls of those who love Him, He is resurrected in these souls. He also is present in souls that don’t love Him, but He is still in the tomb. What we fail to realize is that He is showing His love and care for us in those that minister, pray and love us. We I am afraid don’t recognize this profound truth. If He is anywhere, He lives in the hearts and minds of people that belong to Him. He lives in their souls. God is love. he who abides in love abides in God and God in him (her too:)) We believe, we take Christs words for it I know it for a fact. Thank you Jesus! Lost sheep God cares for you .and He is showing it Lord remove my blindness that I may see. I pray this for myself frequently, and He answers!👍
 
I wanted to add to the precious post:

I sought my soul and my soul I could not see

I sought my God and my God eluded me

I sought my neigbor and I found all three.
 
So to sum it all up, all I have to do is pray, whether I think it will do any good or not, and everything will be sunshine, rainbows, butterflies and unicorns; if not in this life then in the next. Right?
 
I don’t think anything I say will be acceptable to you,or anything others say to you thats why you may remain a prisoner to your own mind. You always have your own answer, and apparently you think you are right in responding the way you do . Only Jesus can liberate you, thats why He came to set captives free. No just you but all of us. When we quit listening to ourselves and listen to that still small voice of conscience then thats the beginning of “enlightenment” I place you along with myself in the presence of God in prayer and ask Him to save us form Satan and ourselves. We are our greatest cross in this life, no exceptions.
 
How can anybody be happy in a miserable and corrupt world? For example, 9,500 innocent children dying of starvation each and every year? Store up your riches in Heaven, and forsake this sorrowful world.

"The death of the just: Death will reach everyone, the good and the bad; but the destiny of each one is quite different. The just man sees himself in this valley of tears as a prisoner, serving a very hard term. He considers himself a slave in this world, suffering an extremely distressing servitude. He regards himself a sailor caught in a horrible storm. And as death means an end of his confinement, an end of his slavery, and is the port of his salvation, he ceases not to cry with David, ‘Woe is me that my sojourning is prolonged!’ (Ps. 119:5)… He ceases not to ask with the Apostle’… Who shall deliver me from the body of this death? (Rom. 7:24)”
-The Golden Key to Heaven, by Saint Anthony Mary Claret

Oh, when will all these evils come to an end? When shall I be set free from the unhappy slavery of sin? When, O Lord, shall my mind be fixed on You alone?’ When shall the fullness of your joys be mine? When shall I enjoy true freedom, untrammelled and untroubled in mind or body? When shall true peace be established -peace untroubled and secure, peace both inward and outward, peace in every way assured? Good Jesus, when shall I stand in Your presence? When shall I see the glory of Your Kingdom? When will You be All in all to me? When shall I dwell with You in Your Kingdom, which You have prepared from eternity for those whom You love?
-The Imitation of Christ, Book 3, Chapter 48
 
How can anybody be happy in a miserable and corrupt world? For example, 9,500 innocent children dying of starvation each and every year? Store up your riches in Heaven, and forsake this sorrowful world.

"The death of the just: Death will reach everyone, the good and the bad; but the destiny of each one is quite different. The just man sees himself in this valley of tears as a prisoner, serving a very hard term. He considers himself a slave in this world, suffering an extremely distressing servitude. He regards himself a sailor caught in a horrible storm. And as death means an end of his confinement, an end of his slavery, and is the port of his salvation, he ceases not to cry with David, ‘Woe is me that my sojourning is prolonged!’ (Ps. 119:5)… He ceases not to ask with the Apostle’… Who shall deliver me from the body of this death? (Rom. 7:24)”
-The Golden Key to Heaven, by Saint Anthony Mary Claret

Oh, when will all these evils come to an end? When shall I be set free from the unhappy slavery of sin? When, O Lord, shall my mind be fixed on You alone?’ When shall the fullness of your joys be mine? When shall I enjoy true freedom, untrammelled and untroubled in mind or body? When shall true peace be established -peace untroubled and secure, peace both inward and outward, peace in every way assured? Good Jesus, when shall I stand in Your presence? When shall I see the glory of Your Kingdom? When will You be All in all to me? When shall I dwell with You in Your Kingdom, which You have prepared from eternity for those whom You love?
-The Imitation of Christ, Book 3, Chapter 48
Using the words of Jesus: Jn:l4:27 The Advocate, the Father will send you in my Name will teach you. Peace I leave you, my peace I give you. Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Let your hearts not be troubled or be afraid.

Jn l6-24 Until now you have not asked the Father in my Name so that your joy may be complete. If you keep my commandments you will remain in my love, so that my joy may be in you, and your joy might be complete.

Jesus is saying we can have His peace and joy in this world inspite of all human suffering. Complete happiness is not possible in this ever changing world. Complete happiness is permanent. Only in Heaven. The peace and joy that Jesus speaks of can only be had from His Holy Spirit. Jesus desires this. We must submit to God’s commantments which are given for our good not His. Those that keep them truly love
God. Ask the Father in the Name of Jesus for His Holy Spirit of joy and peace, and love.
Holy Scripture mentioned several times that the Spirit was not given because Jesus was not yet glorified. When He took His place beside the Father after His resurrection He was glorified. We too must glorify Him for who He is. We do this when we accept Him as our Lord and King, Saviour and God-man Redeemer. We ask Him for forgiveness, and we open ourselves to Him If we are humble and sincere, I have no doubt we will receive what He promised. We will know we have our answer in God’s way and time. I have experienced it. Other have too. It also involved others praying for me sharing their faith and love with me. When Jesus touches you, you will know. Do we believe?
 
Using the words of Jesus: Jn:l4:27 The Advocate, the Father will send you in my Name will teach you. Peace I leave you, my peace I give you. Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Let your hearts not be troubled or be afraid.

Jn l6-24 Until now you have not asked the Father in my Name so that your joy may be complete. If you keep my commandments you will remain in my love, so that my joy may be in you, and your joy might be complete.

Jesus is saying we can have His peace and joy in this world inspite of all human suffering. Complete happiness is not possible in this ever changing world. Complete happiness is permanent. Only in Heaven. The peace and joy that Jesus speaks of can only be had from His Holy Spirit. Jesus desires this. We must submit to God’s commantments which are given for our good not His. Those that keep them truly love
God. Ask the Father in the Name of Jesus for His Holy Spirit of joy and peace, and love.
Holy Scripture mentioned several times that the Spirit was not given because Jesus was not yet glorified. When He took His place beside the Father after His resurrection He was glorified. We too must glorify Him for who He is. We do this when we accept Him as our Lord and King, Saviour and God-man Redeemer. We ask Him for forgiveness, and we open ourselves to Him If we are humble and sincere, I have no doubt we will receive what He promised. We will know we have our answer in God’s way and time. I have experienced it. Other have too. It also involved others praying for me sharing their faith and love with me. When Jesus touches you, you will know. Do we believe?
We should have joy in Christ that our salvation is assured given we are righteous. We should not however, be happy in this miserable and corrupt world.
 
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