Hi,
I can see you are searching for the general principle, and are not really getting it.
Well, rather than hand you a one sized solution – let’s look at the problem a different way, for a moment.
Scruples are not a sin in and of themselves, so one could argue that having a very tender conscience is a good thing – although as you are noticing, it can be used to justify imprudent things; such as not going to school. Becoming a Pharisee of sorts…
What this means is that God gave you a brain with the ability to imagine certain details that others might miss (and you might miss the big picture, somehow).
Whenever you are confronted with a paradox – it means that a piece of information is missing or hidden, eg: you are ignorant of all the details or are looking at the problem inconsistently – and that’s the problem with scruples. How can one really make a conscientious choice if they don’t know what an action will lead to for certain?
The church talks about near occasions of sin – not as an absolute, but as a guideline. Different people have different weaknesses, similar people have similar weaknesses.
Statistically, most of us males as a group and females as a group , and so on along other similarities, – share certain weaknesses – so that a general knowledge is available, but it doesn’t always apply to every person.
For this reason, the first place for you to ask is your parents – both your mother and your father, not so much for their opinion but for the facts concerning their history: you are likely like them – and so will share their weaknesses and their near occasions of sin (your priest whose weaknesses are also part of your upbringing is also very good for this kind of guidance.).
The second place to look is experience – once you have fallen (venially through ignorance) – you know the occasion of sin. Let’s hope that is not necessary, but often it is. For that there is communion and confession, either of which is sufficient for the inevitable venial sin.
One thing more would be good to think about:
Love, in a good sense, is what one is willing to do for another.
One way love, “looking” as it were, is called admiration.
And this is where the temptation comes in – because you can intentionally confuse love with looking, and then looking with gratification, and then one step more – will finally arrive at lust.
So what is the root attitude you should have for Love, not the feeling but the activity? It is what you and she are willing to do for each other, and how you respect each other (how the good in each other looks out for the other’s good). What you are ‘in’ now, is called admiration – and you are right to be careful, although you should not be fearful.
If one were not interested in an other, there would be no reason to do good. Love your neighbor for love of God, and yourself.
Peace.
