Being in mortal sin

[Camillus14]

With the start of Lent, and the many days to come till Easter, I feel the need to look more into my sins.
I struggle with the temptation to not go to Mass - Sundays and Holy Day of Obligations both, and also have this anxiety of not going up to Communion because others will think badly of me because I am so often in mortal sin. I feel the need of reassurance that I am not “alone” when doing something, or I will feel like I am the odd one out and I feel extremely embarrassed and ashamed.

I fear I may be scrupulous because it seems like even a day after I have gone to Confession, I am already back into mortal sin. I try to go monthly but I wonder if going more than that would benefit or just worsen things? I’m really not sure. Also, I remember someone telling me in the past that when I’m in mortal sin, prayers are useless and thinking that makes things seem so much more hopeless. :imsorry:

And when discussion of the end of the world comes up, I get extremely nervous. I am not on very close terms with God unfortunately and my resolutions this Lenten season I hope will help me get to know Him more, but when talk of the end comes about I sometimes want to just lie on the ground and cry because I don’t want to be too late. Right now my relationship with God is more of a “I don’t want to go to Hell!” than a true friendship. I’m always saying to myself,
“You never know when Jesus is coming back, and He waited for you long enough to go last Saturday for Confession and stay in the state of grace, it was your own fault for doing so-and-so and cutting yourself off from Him!”
This was more than a ramble than anything, but does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do?

Thanks in advance, and God bless.

 

[Vico]

With the start of Lent, and the many days to come till Easter, I feel the need to look more into my sins.
I struggle with the temptation to not go to Mass - Sundays and Holy Day of Obligations both, and also have this anxiety of not going up to Communion because others will think badly of me because I am so often in mortal sin. I feel the need of reassurance that I am not “alone” when doing something, or I will feel like I am the odd one out and I feel extremely embarrassed and ashamed.

I fear I may be scrupulous because it seems like even a day after I have gone to Confession, I am already back into mortal sin. I try to go monthly but I wonder if going more than that would benefit or just worsen things? I’m really not sure. Also, I remember someone telling me in the past that when I’m in mortal sin, prayers are useless and thinking that makes things seem so much more hopeless. :imsorry:

And when discussion of the end of the world comes up, I get extremely nervous. I am not on very close terms with God unfortunately and my resolutions this Lenten season I hope will help me get to know Him more, but when talk of the end comes about I sometimes want to just lie on the ground and cry because I don’t want to be too late. Right now my relationship with God is more of a “I don’t want to go to Hell!” than a true friendship. I’m always saying to myself,
“You never know when Jesus is coming back, and He waited for you long enough to go last Saturday for Confession and stay in the state of grace, it was your own fault for doing so-and-so and cutting yourself off from Him!”
This was more than a ramble than anything, but does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do?

Thanks in advance, and God bless.

God always hears your prayers, so pray. No merit is acquired when in a state of mortal sin, but actual graces may be merited.

Fundamentals of Catholic Dogma, by Ludwig Ott:

• A just man merits for himself through each good work an increase of sanctifying grace, eternal life (if he dies in a state of grace) and an increase of heavenly glory. (De fide.)
• A person in mortal sin can merit de congruo, by his free co-operation with actual grace, further actual graces in preparation for justification, and finally the grace of justification itself. (Sent. probabilis.)

From the Catechism:

1451 Among the penitent’s acts contrition occupies first place. Contrition is "sorrow of the soul and detestation for the sin committed, together with the resolution not to sin again."50

1452 When it arises from a love by which God is loved above all else, contrition is called “perfect” (contrition of charity). Such contrition remits venial sins; it also obtains forgiveness of mortal sins if it includes the firm resolution to have recourse to sacramental confession as soon as possible.51

 

[May1980]

I can understand that frustration. I sometimes feel like I am second guessing myself if I’m in mortal sin (or not), and then get really anxious and disappointed in myself. I am new to even learning what mortal sin is and the complexities of it all, so this is also why I get so confused.

To use your example of going to mass, my Catholic-raised brother does not attend. Maybe once in a while. He has no clue what mortal sin is or even that there is a requirement. So he is not in mortal sin being ignorant and has no need for confession for this? But I am in sin if I miss, and not him, because I read up on the faith and am trying to live it? I don’t understand that! That just seems…wrong. Maybe someone can help me out here, who knows more.

I agree with OP that mortal sin (having now learned sort of what it is) is making me anxious about a lot of things, and making me worried I am going to hell, which isn’t the relationship with God I want. I guess I have no answer to that, only that I can relate.

 

[PureChaos]

(Post 1of 2)

Have you ever watched Bishop Fulton j. Sheen? You can see alot of his shows free on YouTube, and many more of his audio sermons/shows at keepthefaith.org
He also has many books…The reason I bring him up, is because he is a wonderful teacher of the Catholic faith, he is good at explaining and breaking down the teachings of the Church in a simple way that anyone can understand, so I highly recommend him.

But as for your concerns, first of all, prayers are heard even when not in the state of grace, God wants you to be restored to grace and to enter into heaven more than you do, and He is also more patient and understanding with your sins than you are, think of Him as a father(which He truly is) when a father or mother is dealing with a child who is struggling to be good, they suffer with the child, which by that I mean, they feel his pain, they are anxious for his happiness, God is that way with us, we must see Him as a loving Father, who has His arms open for us to run into after we have fallen,
God does hate sin, but He also understands our weakness, and that without Him we can do no good…You must be patient with yourself, you cannot be perfect all at once, especially if you’re putting trust in yourself to overcome your faults and grow in holiness and not in God.
You must depend entirely on God in order to do any good, never neglect to ask for His help when either in temptation to sin, or when you are struggling to do what is right.
Tell yourself when you fall “I am not surprised, this is only what I can expect from myself when I do not ask God for help, or do not accept His graces, I am weak and utterly helpless alone, so please Lord, help me to get back up, and try again”
All God wants is for you to keep trying, as long as you keep moving forward, He can hold your hand and direct you where to go, but if you give up and just sit there, what can He do?
And yes, there is alot to learn and will be many mistakes made along the way, but as long as you have a good attitude and your focus on God, then you will not only advance in holiness, but also experience much joy on the way…Learning to know and love God ought to be a wonderful thing, not to say we won’t also suffer, but those sufferings too should bring us closer to God…If our sufferings or our efforts to know and love God result in depression or stress or anxiety, then we are doing something wrong.

I actually used to struggle alot myself with going to mass, it went on for several years, but I honestly can’t take credit for overcoming that, I prayed alot, and just kept trying, I think at a certain point God just took that temptation away from me, and gave me what I needed to keep going… Perhaps there was something He wanted me to learn from that struggle, that I finally did, and he released me from it? I really am not sure, but all I can say is, keep trying, never give up, to give up is a clear indication that all our efforts are selfish, for our own gain, and not out of love for God.

 

[PureChaos]

(Post 2 of 2)

Also, I know it’s hard, but try not to worry what others think of you, you go to Mass and communion to be with God, not them, and if they look down their noses at you for being a sinner, then they are hypocrites, and you should say to yourself “let he who is without sin cast the first stone”…Because believe me, anyone who is decent won’t look at you or judge/criticise you like that, and anyone who would look at you that way, are only doing so to make themselves feel better about their own sinful life, which may very well be worse than yours, and it often happens that those who are the worst of sinners, are treated with the most kindness, because their sins are hidden, and then those with lesser sins, are treated as scum simply because their sins are known, this is just the way people are, and we simply must pay it no mind…of course I’m by no means saying to judge others, we should always think the best of others first and give the benefit of the doubt…But my point is, the only thing you should be worrying about is how God sees you, not how others see you, because at the end of your life, they won’t be the ones judging you…Also consider that worrying what others think of us is a form of pride, although it’s good to want to look good before others for God’s sake, but when it causes us to sin, then it is without a doubt rooted in pride.
This life is so short, go to mass for Jesus alone, Who waits for you in the tabernacle, lonely and longing for you, we can’t imagine how he desires to be with us, think to yourself, who else in the world longs to be with me that much, even though I have hurt them immeasurably? Only Jesus, and we owe Him so much, going to mass is the least we can do, and all the better if we can visit Him more often then that.
Think of those in the bible who Jesus forgave, some sinned against Him directly, but despite the evil looks and harsh judgments of others, the love and forgiveness from Jesus was all they needed, even Judas would have been forgiven if he gave Our Lord the chance…But he let his sorrow overcome himself, he was not thinking of how good and loving God is, but only of how wreched he was, if he had spent more time learning to know and love Jesus, and not spend so much time worrying about money and other worldly things, he may not have taken his own life…

I know I’ve said too much already, but just wanted to add one more thing regarding end times and whatnot, I do understand your fear, I often get scared at the reality that I will leave this body some day, but keep this in mind, God chose to create you and put you in this particular time for a reason, and there is no randomness or chance involved, He gives us all exactly what time we need in order to be saved, which may not be as difficult or involved as you may think, I’m not saying it’s altogether easy, but often times we create our own problems by over complicating things and making life harder than it needs to be.
Whatever time you are to die is fixed, end of world or not(which personally I don’t think is any time soon)
The devil likes to trick and distract us in any way he can, to either slow us down or mislead us, but more than anything he wants you to think of anything at all besides God, and I think that is often the case with regard to things like this, andp perhaps you will benefit from just treating it as a temptation, when the thoughts come to you, pray for them to go away, and try to think of something else…It can be very good to keep death before your eyes(as the saints did) to help you remember your purpose in life and focus on God, but if it’s causing you anxiety, then it’s best to think of something else…

Ok well that’s all, sorry to make it so long, but I hope this helps, take care.

 

[Camillus14]

Thank you so much to everyone who replied. They’ve definitely been helpful to me!

 

[ynotzap]

Just remember that we all are born in sin. And Jesus came to redeem us from the works of Satan. These works are directed towards our weaknesses. We all have a leaning towards sensuality as apposed to control over our passions. We also are ignorant to the truth, and we need to be informed. We also are weak when it comes to moral choices. When we fall, we come under Satan’s reign again. This should frighten us, he is a murder and liar, and seeks our downfall. We must try our best to obey and love our Saviour, He died for us while we were still in sin. So call on Him to expel Satan’s influence on you, and establish you in His love. If we truly love Him, it strengthen us is our resolve to stay in that love and we will be strong in resisting sin. Real love of Christ is the greatest motivator for avoiding sin, pray to the Holy Spirit to give you that love.

 

[Techno2000]

With the start of Lent, and the many days to come till Easter, I feel the need to look more into my sins.
I struggle with the temptation to not go to Mass - Sundays and Holy Day of Obligations both, and also have this anxiety of not going up to Communion because others will think badly of me because I am so often in mortal sin. I feel the need of reassurance that I am not “alone” when doing something, or I will feel like I am the odd one out and I feel extremely embarrassed and ashamed.

I fear I may be scrupulous because it seems like even a day after I have gone to Confession, I am already back into mortal sin. I try to go monthly but I wonder if going more than that would benefit or just worsen things? I’m really not sure. Also, I remember someone telling me in the past that when I’m in mortal sin, prayers are useless and thinking that makes things seem so much more hopeless. :imsorry:

And when discussion of the end of the world comes up, I get extremely nervous. I am not on very close terms with God unfortunately and my resolutions this Lenten season I hope will help me get to know Him more, but when talk of the end comes about I sometimes want to just lie on the ground and cry because I don’t want to be too late. Right now my relationship with God is more of a “I don’t want to go to Hell!” than a true friendship. I’m always saying to myself,
“You never know when Jesus is coming back, and He waited for you long enough to go last Saturday for Confession and stay in the state of grace, it was your own fault for doing so-and-so and cutting yourself off from Him!”
This was more than a ramble than anything, but does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do?

Thanks in advance, and God bless.

Sr. Josefa Menendez (1890-1923) -Jesus’ Message to the World of His Mercy for All :

“It is My intention also, to show souls that I never refuse grace, even to those who are guilty of grave sin; nor do I separate them from the good souls whom I love with predilection. I keep them all in My Heart, that all may receive the help needed for their state of soul.”

“I would like these [those living with sin] to understand that it is not the fact of being in sin that ought to keep them from Me. They must never think that there is no remedy for them, nor that they have forfeited for ever the love that once was theirs… No, poor souls, the God who has shed all His Blood for you has no such feelings for you!” -Jesus to Sr. Josefa Menendez

mysticsofthechurch.com/2009/12/sister-josefa-menendez-way-of-divine.html