Being involved in religious education has caused some difficulties in my faith

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Marshmallow1

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I don’t lack belief and sometimes I feel very excited about what I’m doing but the more I get involved or hear about things the more it takes a hit to my personal relationship with God. Some of the parents don’t seem to understand CCD classes should be supplementary not the main influence of faith in their kids lives. It makes me just feel angry and resentful in general and some distance with God. How do I overcome this? Any saints for this?
 
I don’t know about any Saints for this specifically…maybe Elizabeth Ann Seton? I am a faith formation teacher as well and probably more than half of my students don’t attend mass at all outside of sacraments or special occasions, and most of the rest only go sporadically. I’m 90% sure that I am the only source of religious education that many of these kids are receiving. I just look on the bright side that these parents are making an effort to bring their kids to class, and it makes me want to put my heart into it even more so that I can be an influence for these kids and hopefully help them be eager to learn and excited about God. If the kids have a good experience in your class they are much more likely to get their parents involved and interested. Do you have a curriculum that includes an option for family involvement? If so be sure to point it out to the parents when they come for pick up. Alternatively, you could suggest having your lessons expanded on at home and send a sheet home with the kids. Some parents just won’t be interested in learning/teaching religion in the home but you can at least plant a seed with them.
 
I’ve been teaching teens in recent years, and I get discouraged sometimes too, but in my case it doesn’t lead to relationship-with-God difficulties.
Marshmallow1 said:
How do I overcome this?
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I have a few ideas.
  • Ask your Director of Religious Education (DRE), if there is one, for advice on how to maintain a positive attitude. Mine says something to the effect of “Don’t worry. We plant seeds and we don’t always see how they grow.” If you don’t have a DRE, or if you are the DRE, talk to your pastor or perhaps a religious education director at the diocese level.
  • Examine and reconsider your expectations. Unrealistic expectations lead to disappointment. Low expectations tend to be self-fulfilling. So let’s forget about expectations for the moment, and instead identify the fundamental goal of religious education. What would that be? (Keep it simple.) Work toward that goal, one step at a time. If one approach doesn’t work, try another approach; the goal is still good, it doesn’t change.
  • Build you own faith. Pray for the Holy Spirit to strengthen your faith, hope, and charity. Pray for your students and their families. Read Catholic books. Go to Confession. If your parish has adult faith formation programs, try them out. Serve your family well. Get adequate sleep, good nutrition, and some exercise.
I’ll pray for you.
 
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I understand that frustration, and I share it too, to some extent.

What I have been doing is focusing on the kids I have in class, trying to be a good witness for my faith, and praying for their families (and I am often blown away to hear what they say during the concluding prayer time ; they do pray for their families too). I remind myself that I can’t solve every single problem on my own, and that what is expected from me is that I do the best I can at that given place and time.

That said, I am convinced that one of the biggest challenges we face, at least here in Europe, is the lack in catechesis in parents. So I have a few projects in the works for them.

I don’t know if you would be interested in getting involved in adult catechesis projects, but to me, it is one of the most intellectually stimulating, challenging, interesting and rewarding ministries out there.
 
It is a human failure as a product of our concupiscence that we always want “somebody” to do our work for us. Parents, even though hearing at their child’s baptism that they are the child’s primary teachers of the faith, are certainly not immune to this. They do not teach because quite often they do not know.
  1. How much time do you spend before Christ at adoration? Huge help.
  2. Might you be called to a different apostolate?
  3. Maybe draw up a slightly revised lesson plan taking into account that the parents probably do not know their own faith.
  4. This might include a copy of Catholicism for Dummies as a parent’s resource, as it is user-friendly and the format is well-known. The cost could be worked into a fee.
  5. A sad fact that, before you educate the kids, you must educate the parents.
  6. If you do not already, go before Christ at adoration! Let Him help you bear the load of this enormous responsibility you have taken on.
  7. May the Lord bless you for stepping out and helping to perpetuate the faith!
 
As a catechist, I do have to say it’s saddening to realize your one hour / week (or 35 minutes / week in my case!) is all some kids are getting. Buuuut… I try to make those 35 minutes really count!! I used to try to jam as much info into the 35 minutes as possible. Then my own biological kids started saying I was their least-fun religious Ed teacher, lol! So I began shortening my scope and adding a game into the class. The kids have more fun & I think that makes them more eager to come back - which is why we want! 😉 So I try to do my weekly 15-minute “pitch” for Jesus re: whatEVER our topic is… and just see it as a seed planted. I’ve learned you can fit a good bit into 15 minutes. It challenges me to really pull out the salient points in each topic and present them as excellently as I can. I focus on the intensity of that challenge instead of the discouraging thought of how much more I wish I could do / the kids actually need. Hope that helps a little.
 
Thank you for the advice! I tend to always have idealistic expectations and get easily discouraged so I’m gonna have to work on that
 
Thank you! I wish I could go to Adoration but I cant drive, but I know it would be a huge help! Even just thinking about going kind of calms me a little!
 
My kids are dumb as rocks. It annoyed me. I would teach junior high/high school RE, and we’d talk about things 100 times in class, but they’d be clueless as though we never addressed it. And at the end of the semester, they’re not really solid on a Hail Mary, or who the four Evangelists were, or name three of the Apostles, or whatever. And a big chunk of that was because faith wasn’t part of their home life— it wasn’t reinforced by the parents-- it was just, “Show up to RE” as though that was sufficient, but in the end, Catholicism is a lifestyle, not something you do for an hour or two a week.

So I took a break. I figured I’d been doing this for mumblemumble years, and it was scheduled for my own kids’ bedtime, so I needed to take care of my family. I wasn’t getting through to them, so someone else could teach them who would do a better job of it. I had all kinds of rationales to excuse dropping out— but ultimately, I was tired of wasting my time, and someone else could have a turn.

Fast-forward a little bit of time, and I was at an icon-writing workshop. We were on lunch break, and I had stopped by a bank to do something. We were standing in line, and the line wasn’t moving, because it was lunch and everyone else was banking, too, and there were some people who had complicated transactions going on. So we were all waiting patiently and not looking at each other. A little old black grandma tried making small talk, and mentioned how much she liked her crazy socks. No one else responded, so I felt bad for her, and lifted my pants leg a little, and showed her that I had crazy socks, too. We chatted a little, and then out of the blue, she said, “You’re not doing what you’re supposed to be doing.” And I’m like, “Yeah, I’m on vacation–” And she’s like, “No, you’re supposed to be teaching people about God’s Word, and you’re not doing it.” And I’m like, “Ah, thank you for telling me.”

Maybe she was a nut. Or maybe she had a genuine message. But what she said was true— out of everyone in our poor, rural parish, there aren’t many people who are able to do what I was doing. And the current people were just snacks-and-games, which is okay for Youth Group, but not okay for RE. So I eventually got back into the volunteer circuit.

I still think my kids are clueless, and they still waste my time. But I do what I do because it’s what I’m supposed to be doing, regardless of whether I perceived any worth in it myself. And I trust to God that something I do or say will stick in a place where I can’t see, and will grow, and do something useful. Because God’s not going to hold me accountable for whether they learned the lesson, but whether I tried to teach it in the first place. 💙
 
Don’t feel bad if you should decide CCD teaching isn’t for you. As someone else said, you could teach adults, or you could do something else for the church.
My mother tried to teach CCD. She lasted one year. She found it way too frustrating as the kids had learned virtually nothing at home from their parents and were ill-behaved. She ended up running the women’s group at the parish instead and held officer positions there for some years. It was a much better fit for her talents.
 
You are struggling because some parents are not as excellent as you think they ought to be? Most parishes see only a small percentage of RE age children actually enrolled. Ask your parish office what the number is for your parish. That shows you that the parents who ARE bringing their kids every week (especially in the non-sacramental prep years) are making their Faith a priority. Every week, thank the parents for bringing their kids.

Talk the DRE about a faith sharing group that can meet for the parents during RE time.
 
Thank you! I love your story! It definitely humbled me a bit.
 
Be aware that your teaching and enthusiasm may be the only positive thing most of those young ones get in their life. You may never know of the good seeds you are planting!

And praying regularly about this will help very much.

If you continue to feel concerned about the difficulties you mention, then it might mean you should not be a teacher.
 
Thank you! It may not be, I definitely have to think it over. For now I’m gonna try to make the best out of it
 
Thank you! They do have a RCIA class in Spanish during that time and their are some parents who take their kids no matter what. I need to be more grateful for them.
 
RCIA prep is going to fit the bill for a small number of the parents. Talk to the team about doing something as simple as a course from Formed.org or Catholic Alpha for RE parents.
 
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