Being kind to another best friend

[CRATUS]

My best friend from back home is super close to God the days. That is almost all we talk about. We keep each other on track. She can be too emotionally sensitive though. She is always one criticism away from despair. She has had already six to seven suicide attempts she is only 24. She is too calm about it. It is wonderful she is open to listening to critiques on improving her faith. She easily becomes overwhelmed. Next thing she calls me three am in the morning because she almost committed suicide. Her attitude is if she is not a perfect person than her life is not worth living. Is there such thing as too much criticism or introspect? She talks to me, a priest and psychologist, her family and friends. Why can’t she be happy? Saints are not made overnight. What is the point in all her efforts if she is not even happy?

 

[Trident_H]

This is a good question CRATUS. And I mean it strikes a bit of a chord with me too. As some here know already I’m a bit of a bell sometimes. I mean it doesn’t take much banging to get a sound out of me. I’ve a pretty thin skin sometimes in certain key things. Other times I can handle a full storm. Head on. Without even a whisper.

But your friend needs maybe to get some perspective. She maybe needs to understand that she’s not supposed to be an on/off switch. One hit of that button’s not supposed to make her jump high or else shut her down. She’s supposed to be more of a slow-blow fuse. Maybe take a minute. Maybe an hour. But the reset’s sure to work. Just be patient.

So I’d be tempted to play along only so far as I could. I’d remind her at 3 am that she’s loved. That she’s cherished. That everything’s going to be fine. That Jesus came down to hang out with sinners and hopeless causes because God loves them too.

On clearer days I’d be tempted to softly suggest to her is that a person without pride does not worry about being perfect. That person’s really more interested in making sure that other people are taken care of first. That other people haven’t been left behind. Perfection might be a natural offshoot of that. It might be something that comes about on its own. But faith isn’t a full contact sport. Being perfect’s never going to be a goal we can reasonably meet. Because the second we think we’re perfect? The minute that thought occurs to us? Well that’s the same second we’re most like God’s one-time right-hand angel. That one who also once marveled at his own perfection. And then fell light a bolt of lighting.

So the second we think we’re perfect is the same time we’re the furthest from it possible. And the moment we’re vulnerable and on our knees in true humility for our failings? Well that’s when we’re the closest to God. That’s when we’re pretty much on His lap.

Peace CRATUS.

Your pal,

Trident

 

[CRATUS]

This is a good question CRATUS. And I mean it strikes a bit of a chord with me too. As some here know already I’m a bit of a bell sometimes. I mean it doesn’t take much banging to get a sound out of me. I’ve a pretty thin skin sometimes in certain key things. Other times I can handle a full storm. Head on. Without even a whisper.

But your friend needs maybe to get some perspective. She maybe needs to understand that she’s not supposed to be an on/off switch. One hit of that button’s not supposed to make her jump high or else shut her down. She’s supposed to be more of a slow-blow fuse. Maybe take a minute. Maybe an hour. But the reset’s sure to work. Just be patient.

So I’d be tempted to play along only so far as I could. I’d remind her at 3 am that she’s loved. That she’s cherished. That everything’s going to be fine. That Jesus came down to hang out with sinners and hopeless causes because God loves them too.

On clearer days I’d be tempted to softly suggest to her is that a person without pride does not worry about being perfect. That person’s really more interested in making sure that other people are taken care of first. That other people haven’t been left behind. Perfection might be a natural offshoot of that. It might be something that comes about on its own. But faith isn’t a full contact sport. Being perfect’s never going to be a goal we can reasonably meet. Because the second we think we’re perfect? The minute that thought occurs to us? Well that’s the same second we’re most like God’s one-time right-hand angel. That one who also once marveled at his own perfection. And then fell light a bolt of lighting.

So the second we think we’re perfect is the same time we’re the furthest from it possible. And the moment we’re vulnerable and on our knees in true humility for our failings? Well that’s when we’re the closest to God. That’s when we’re pretty much on His lap.

Peace CRATUS.

Your pal,

Trident

it is always pride isn’t it? If only it could be avoided forever. My life would be tons easier if I had none. Well I’ll tell the sister to enjoy life and take it easy

 

[crystal_waters]

My best friend from back home is super close to God the days. That is almost all we talk about. We keep each other on track. She can be too emotionally sensitive though. She is always one criticism away from despair. She has had already six to seven suicide attempts she is only 24. She is too calm about it. It is wonderful she is open to listening to critiques on improving her faith. She easily becomes overwhelmed. Next thing she calls me three am in the morning because she almost committed suicide. Her attitude is if she is not a perfect person than her life is not worth living. Is there such thing as too much criticism or introspect? She talks to me, a priest and psychologist, her family and friends. Why can’t she be happy? Saints are not made overnight. What is the point in all her efforts if she is not even happy?

We aren’t meant to give medical advice here but if one bit of criticism sends your friend suicidal then you need to make sure that she gets mental health care as one day you may not hear the phone at 3am to answer it and she may suceed and kill herself…

Like one of the previous poster said remind her that Jesus came and hung round with sinners…also tell her that nobody in the world is perfect…we are all sinners…if we were all perfect then planet earth would be heaven…all she can do is love god and do her best to pray and avoid sin…but seriously try and get her some kind of help for her despair (I know you mention she is seeing a therapist but if she is still falling in to despair at the slightest thing and turning suicidal then a therapist isn’t enough)

 

[CRATUS]

We aren’t meant to give medical advice here but if one bit of criticism sends your friend suicidal then you need to make sure that she gets mental health care as one day you may not hear the phone at 3am to answer it and she may suceed and kill herself…

Like one of the previous poster said remind her that Jesus came and hung round with sinners…also tell her that nobody in the world is perfect…we are all sinners…if we were all perfect then planet earth would be heaven…all she can do is love god and do her best to pray and avoid sin…but seriously try and get her some kind of help for her despair (I know you mention she is seeing a therapist but if she is still falling in to despair at the slightest thing and turning suicidal then a therapist isn’t enough)

I think she is attention seeker and she was diagnosed with depression.

 

[Vic_Taltrees_UK]

Any particular professionals may not necessarily hit the right note at any particular time (though some have an appropriate drug - not necessarily a psychotropic one).

The main thing is, ask God to send you and her and any of her other friends off at some sort of “lateral thinking” type tangents, so that she can feel safe in talking over some things that might be bugging her which neither she nor you thought of mulling over before. May He bring to your minds Scriptures that will give her solid new light and growth.

I was very mixed up indeed at 24. I was ultra perfectionist and ultra complacent and ultra laid back all at the same time. Explicit depression surfaced more later. At all times the best help was apparently the most indirect in relation to the presenting problem.

For me, the best remedy was always good company, sometimes Bible studying, sometimes eating, walking etc. Autumn leaves are fabulous!