being late for mass

[angell1]

so it’s almost inevitable that if I go to mass with my paren dots, we will be late. not significantly, maybe the latest is arriving during the Gloria

they’re just late for nearly everything they go to. well mosleast tly my mom, I guess. she’s just not that time conscious and doesn’t think a few minutes is a big deal

I wake them up at 8:30 or 9 on sundays so they have enough time to get ready and I try to have breakfast going so they can focus on other stuff they need to do

but yesterday, the priest said during the homily that if you miss th act of contrition, it can be a grave sin already.

but what am I supposed to do if we’re all driving together? and we have to wait for that one person?

I try to tell them but then I just get “well, we don’t have to go to mass at 11” but when we attend evening mass, it’s the same story.

at least it’s been a bit of an improvement, half the time, they didn’t use to want to go because they thought reading the bible at home was the same thing, at least now, they will come with me every week.

I just don’t want it to be grave matter for me in this case, I can’t really do much about how others feel

 

[WillyAL]

As one who grew up in a mainline protestant church and who now attends Sunday Mass with my Catholic wife, I see this as being just one of many “Catholic things.” Not bashing Catholics, just making an observation about the difference between protestant culture and Catholic culture.

Growing up in a protestant church, I spent several years as an acolyte (what would be an altar server in the Catholic Church). From my seat near the altar I had a full view of the congregation. It was extremely rare for someone to come in after the processional hymn was completed. It was considered very bad form and simply wasn’t done. Now, I often serve as an usher/greeter in the Catholic parish I attend with my wife. At our parish the ushers typically sit in the back of the church in order to keep an eye on things. Again, I have a full view of the congregation. It is not at all uncommon for the congregation to double in size between the end of the gathering hymn and the beginning of the Gospel. As I said, it seems to be a “Catholic thing” that, while certainly not encouraged, is obviously tolerated.

So…are your paren dots late for everything? Or just for Mass? If it’s just Mass, then they’re just behaving as many Catholics behave. You’re not going to change them, so learn to deal with it or find your own way to Mass. If they’re constantly late for everything…well that’s a more serious problem. One of my pet peeves, in fact. But that’s a subject for another thread.

Good luck.

Edited to add: Just re-read your post. So, they’re late for everything. Wishing you even more luck dealing with them.

 

[1ke]

Angel, I am sorry that the priest’s comments touched your scruples off this weekend. First, the Church has NO cut off time for arriving at Mass being sinful. Secondly, you are not culpable for what is out of your control, especially given that you are dependent upon them for a ride. You have done your best to move your parents towards being on time. Be at peace.

 

[Graceful_Lamb]

Can you drive yourself to Mass and your parents can arrive to Mass when they are ready?

 

[Confiteor_Deo]

It is not a mortal sin to be late to Mass, and even if it was you would not be culpable because it is beyond your control. If you are present for the Offertory and stay until the Communion, then you have fulfilled the obligation.

 

[angell1]

Can you drive yourself to Mass and your parents can arrive to Mass when they are ready?

haha, no one on the road would want me to do that.

all joking aside, I could technically bus, but it’s more inconvenient to do so on the weekends, and if we’re going anyways, might as well go together

 

[angell1]

Angel, I am sorry that the priest’s comments touched your scruples off this weekend. First, the Church has NO cut off time for arriving at Mass being sinful. Secondly, you are not culpable for what is out of your control, especially given that you are dependent upon them for a ride. You have done your best to move your parents towards being on time. Be at peace.

is it something that can vary between dioceses?

because everyone I’ve talked to says, if you’ve missed the gospel, you’ve essentially missed mass, priests included.

apparently it has to do with our current archbishop having a policy of not relaly wanting communion distributed outside of a mass context unless strictly necessary.

 

[7_Sorrows]

I also had heard that you needed to arrive by the Gospel reading. It bothers me to see people arriving late. I understand there can be circumstances beyond someone’s control, but if people are always in the habit of being late - there is a problem.

If someone invites you to a celebration or a special dinner, would you want to arrive late or be on time?

 

[Spritus1]

Hi angel. This is a problem for many people. The solution I believe lies in education about the Mass. People need to understand that in the Mass we are fed and nourished both by the Word of God and the Eucharist. In fact listening to the Word prepares us for the receipt of the Eucharist. If people understood that arrival at Mass was not just a matter of etiquette (such as turning up on time so as not to disturb others) but that active participation was vital to get the most out of Mass then the Mass may take on a greater meaning for them. I could liken it to preparing a seed bed. The seed bed must be prepared properly if the planted seed is to mature fully. Likewise with the Eucharist. If the heart has been properly prepared by listening to the Word of God then the Eucharist can be better received.

Too many people think of Mass in terms of fulfilling an obligation. This is very limiting and robs them of so many graces they might otherwise receive. The best way to attend Mass is to prepare for it first. Think about what we are about to do, who we are to encounter. I find turning up say 15 minutes before Mass starts helps me to recollect myself and enter into the ‘sacred’. Perhaps you could give your parents some reading material on the Mass and why
ALL of it is important would encourage them to make a greater effort. We get out of Mass, like most other things in life, what we put into it. The better we are disposed to receiving the Lord both in His Word and in the Eucharist the more effective will be the working of the Sacrament in us.

I am convinced that once they have a better understanding of the Mass and have tried at least once to turn up a little in advance of its commencement then they will appreciate the great difference and won’t look back. You may find that it is they who begin hurrying you up in future.

 

[pianistclare]

Hi angel. This is a problem for many people. The solution I believe lies in education about the Mass. People need to understand that in the Mass we are fed and nourished both by the Word of God and the Eucharist. In fact listening to the Word prepares us for the receipt of the Eucharist. If people understood that arrival at Mass was not just a matter of etiquette (such as turning up on time so as not to disturb others) but that active participation was vital to get the most out of Mass then the Mass may take on a greater meaning for them. I could liken it to preparing a seed bed. The seed bed must be prepared properly if the planted seed is to mature fully. Likewise with the Eucharist. If the heart has been properly prepared by listening to the Word of God then the Eucharist can be better received.

Too many people think of Mass in terms of fulfilling an obligation. This is very limiting and robs them of so many graces they might otherwise receive. The best way to attend Mass is to prepare for it first. Think about what we are about to do, who we are to encounter. I find turning up say 15 minutes before Mass starts helps me to recollect myself and enter into the ‘sacred’. Perhaps you could give your parents some reading material on the Mass and why
ALL of it is important would encourage them to make a greater effort. We get out of Mass, like most other things in life, what we put into it. The better we are disposed to receiving the Lord both in His Word and in the Eucharist the more effective will be the working of the Sacrament in us.

I am convinced that once they have a better understanding of the Mass and have tried at least once to turn up a little in advance of its commencement then they will appreciate the great difference and won’t look back. You may find that it is they who begin hurrying you up in future.

yup. And my personal opinion is that people who are chronically late believe that the world revolves around them.
Something to consider and talk about.
It’s just rude.

 

[ProVobis]

I am convinced that once they have a better understanding of the Mass and have tried at least once to turn up a little in advance of its commencement then they will appreciate the great difference and won’t look back. You may find that it is they who begin hurrying you up in future.

Maybe I can show them my little 1954 prayerbook which I used when I was small. Had pictures of the priest doing things on one side, a small prayer on the other. Loved the Mass.

As far as being late, it used to be if you don’t get there soon enough, you stand for the entire Mass including the sermon. Today, the ushers push everyone down and give you the aisle seat.

 

[thistle]

is it something that can vary between dioceses?

**because everyone I’ve talked to says, if you’ve missed the gospel, you’ve essentially missed mass, priests included. **

apparently it has to do with our current archbishop having a policy of not relaly wanting communion distributed outside of a mass context unless strictly necessary.

That is not true.

The Church has no document that states you are late for Mass after a particular point.

You should ask “everyone” you’ve talked to to produce a Church document that supports what they have told you. They won’t be able to because it does not exist.

Of course that is not say it is not disrespectful for someone to deliberately miss the start of the Mass. On the other hand there is no disrespect by anyone who misses the start due to someone else’s fault.

 

[7_Sorrows]

Hi angel. This is a problem for many people. The solution I believe lies in education about the Mass. People need to understand that in the Mass we are fed and nourished both by the Word of God and the Eucharist. In fact listening to the Word prepares us for the receipt of the Eucharist. If people understood that arrival at Mass was not just a matter of etiquette (such as turning up on time so as not to disturb others) but that active participation was vital to get the most out of Mass then the Mass may take on a greater meaning for them. I could liken it to preparing a seed bed. The seed bed must be prepared properly if the planted seed is to mature fully. Likewise with the Eucharist. If the heart has been properly prepared by listening to the Word of God then the Eucharist can be better received.

Too many people think of Mass in terms of fulfilling an obligation. This is very limiting and robs them of so many graces they might otherwise receive. The best way to attend Mass is to prepare for it first. Think about what we are about to do, who we are to encounter. I find turning up say 15 minutes before Mass starts helps me to recollect myself and enter into the ‘sacred’. Perhaps you could give your parents some reading material on the Mass and why
ALL of it is important would encourage them to make a greater effort. We get out of Mass, like most other things in life, what we put into it. The better we are disposed to receiving the Lord both in His Word and in the Eucharist the more effective will be the working of the Sacrament in us.

I am convinced that once they have a better understanding of the Mass and have tried at least once to turn up a little in advance of its commencement then they will appreciate the great difference and won’t look back. You may find that it is they who begin hurrying you up in future.

very well said my friend!

 

[1ke]

is it something that can vary between dioceses?

No angel.

because everyone I’ve talked to says, if you’ve missed the gospel, you’ve essentially missed mass, priests included.

That is one of those old pious legends that will not die. No, this is NOWHERE in Catholic doctrine nor is it in Canon Law.

apparently it has to do with our current archbishop having a policy of not relaly wanting communion distributed outside of a mass context unless strictly necessary.

You were in mass. Be at peace.

 

[1ke]

It is not a mortal sin to be late to Mass, and even if it was you would not be culpable because it is beyond your control. If you are present for the Offertory and stay until the Communion, then you have fulfilled the obligation.

There is NO Church document stating this. None. Nada. It’s a myth.

 

[1ke]

Can you drive yourself to Mass and your parents can arrive to Mass when they are ready?

I’m sure you are not aware, but angel is blind. She is dependent upon her parents or public transportation (which runs a reduced schedule on Sundays). She also has additional issues with her parents I will not go into here, but suffice it to say that if she rocks the boat her parents will retaliate by refusing to take her to mass. And unfortunately, angel also tends towards scruples.

Angel-- you have done your best to fulfill your obligation. You have done your best to be on time. Now, be at peace. You are not sinning.

 

[HelenRose]

so it’s almost inevitable that if I go to mass with my paren dots, we will be late. not significantly, maybe the latest is arriving during the Gloria

they’re just late for nearly everything they go to. well mosleast tly my mom, I guess. she’s just not that time conscious and doesn’t think a few minutes is a big deal

I wake them up at 8:30 or 9 on sundays so they have enough time to get ready and I try to have breakfast going so they can focus on other stuff they need to do

but yesterday, the priest said during the homily that if you miss th act of contrition, it can be a grave sin already.

but what am I supposed to do if we’re all driving together? and we have to wait for that one person?

I try to tell them but then I just get “well, we don’t have to go to mass at 11” but when we attend evening mass, it’s the same story.

at least it’s been a bit of an improvement, half the time, they didn’t use to want to go because they thought reading the bible at home was the same thing, at least now, they will come with me every week.

I just don’t want it to be grave matter for me in this case, I can’t really do much about how others feel

There simply are people who are late for everything. We have close friends and a couple of family members who can not arrive at a given time so when we have get-togethers I always tell them an hour early. I love them dearly and I guess I would not change them for the world. I have watched my daughter-in-law,( whom I love beyond description) get ready for something. She is an excellent secretary, at one time a legal secretary well respected in her in job. But… she is always late. Watching her is a study in how to be late.

So, just enjoy the ride. Love your mother and realize that it is just part of who she is.

Pushing a person who is trying only makes it worse. It isn’t deliberate on their part and the added stress of someone standing behind them does not help.

 

[mattp0625]

I have read that being late to mass is a sin

I have not looked in the catechism

However, I can see how this could be a sin if you are acting negligently. It’s the house of God with the presence of Jesus.

Honor the Sabbath. Have no other gods.

That said, it’s not this person’s fault. I don’t see any sin here especially since there is a good faith effort and dependence on others

I saw some Protestant/Catholic comments. This wouldn’t make sense to a member of a Protestant Church where there is no liturgy, sacraments, or real presence of the Eucharist.

 

[Graceful_Lamb]

I saw some Protestant/Catholic comments. This wouldn’t make sense to a member of a Protestant Church where there is no liturgy, sacraments, or real presence of the Eucharist.

Seems like you are making assumptions. TEC dies have liturgy. In fact, the Mass at TEC is similar to that of the CC.

There are sacraments in TEC. Baptism. First Holy Communion, Confirmation, Holy Matrimony, etc. As for yhe Real Presence, TEC believrs that the host and wine are the bodty and blood of Jesus.

Actually. It does make sense that one shouldn’t be late for Mass, if one can help it. Just like anything else, it us about respect for others. In the case of being on time for Mass, it is about respect for God, which we should always have anyway.

 

[mattp0625]

Seems like you are making assumptions. TEC dies have liturgy. In fact, the Mass at TEC is similar to that of the CC.

There are sacraments in TEC. Baptism. First Holy Communion, Confirmation, Holy Matrimony, etc. As for yhe Real Presence, TEC believrs that the host and wine are the bodty and blood of Jes.tc.

Actually. It does make sense that one shouldn’t be late for Mass, if one can help it. Just like anything else, it us about respect for others. In the case of being on time for Mass, it is about respect for God, which we should always have anyway.

I’m glad you agree and I understand your point.

We could discuss valid apostolic succession and real presence, but that’s another thread.

That said, I cannot account for all 30,000 Protestant denominations.