B
BLB_Oregon
Guest
I was engaged to a guy whose family really liked me. It was tough for them, but they get over it. We are on pleasant terms when we meet, though. I could have stayed close friends with the family, but I can’t imagine having shown up at family functions when he would be there. That is going too far.
If he calls, tell him, “Randy, I am really sorry, but the patient is dead. This is not helping me and it is not helping you. I am the wrong person to talk this over with.” Then hang up, close the door, drive off, whatever you have to do. Do not ever return his phone calls. (If you think 911 should be called, get a third party to contact him.)
As for your family, tell them to stop encouraging him. It might be different if he (or they) were willing to respect your wishes–obviously, he can remain friends with your family, if they all choose–but as it is, he has been making desperate efforts to change your mind, in spite of your clear wishes to the contrary. Because of that, if you see him at a family function, you are going to have to turn toe and leave. Surely they have other opportunities to socialize with him, if they want to. Then follow through. Even if they prefer him to you, they’ll get over it. Blood is thicker than water. If not, it wasn’t much for blood.
Make it clear that this “him or me” aspect for family functions is something you are forced to do because of HIS choices, not yours.
If he calls, tell him, “Randy, I am really sorry, but the patient is dead. This is not helping me and it is not helping you. I am the wrong person to talk this over with.” Then hang up, close the door, drive off, whatever you have to do. Do not ever return his phone calls. (If you think 911 should be called, get a third party to contact him.)
As for your family, tell them to stop encouraging him. It might be different if he (or they) were willing to respect your wishes–obviously, he can remain friends with your family, if they all choose–but as it is, he has been making desperate efforts to change your mind, in spite of your clear wishes to the contrary. Because of that, if you see him at a family function, you are going to have to turn toe and leave. Surely they have other opportunities to socialize with him, if they want to. Then follow through. Even if they prefer him to you, they’ll get over it. Blood is thicker than water. If not, it wasn’t much for blood.
Make it clear that this “him or me” aspect for family functions is something you are forced to do because of HIS choices, not yours.