Being "Too Old" is Getting Old

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basenji

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I realize, understand and fully appreciate the misgivings and many reasons that most orders have regarding older inquirers. It’s certainly not as if they wish to serve “Cycle 3: For Older and Less Active Postulants”. But geez…lighten up fellas. It’s not a crime to be one’s mid-forties and discerning What Comes Next.

I ask Vocation Directors, in all humility, that we at least be able to ask and not be considered to be an annoyance.

Okay, I’m going to quit venting now before I get too excited and fall out of my chair and break a hip. 😉

Thanks for your time, appreciation and (hopefully) smiles.

Peace
 
basenji said:
I realize, understand and fully appreciate the misgivings and many reasons that most orders have regarding older inquirers. It’s certainly not as if they wish to serve “Cycle 3: For Older and Less Active Postulants”. But geez…lighten up fellas. It’s not a crime to be one’s mid-forties and discerning What Comes Next.

I ask Vocation Directors, in all humility, that we at least be able to ask and not be considered to be an annoyance.

Okay, I’m going to quit venting now before I get too excited and fall out of my chair and break a hip. 😉

Thanks for your time, appreciation and (hopefully) smiles.

Peace
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Most male orders have a maximum age where they tend to draw the line. This is due to the older candidate not really being able to adjust to community life, though that is something that they are willing to test, but the other issue is the formation period.

My community has a minimum of 8 years in formation.
 
I’m 59 and feel I still have about 25 good years ahead because I look after myself ( still do 80-100 push-ups of a morning) and judging by other family members (long lived and healthy). I’m going to keep working till I drop, if I can.

Seems a pity now that the population is ageing that people can’t be made greater use of in their final decades. I think there is a place for older vocations considering the needs of the ‘harvest’.

Rove
 
basenji said:
I realize, understand and fully appreciate the misgivings and many reasons that most orders have regarding older inquirers. It’s certainly not as if they wish to serve “Cycle 3: For Older and Less Active Postulants”. But geez…lighten up fellas. It’s not a crime to be one’s mid-forties and discerning What Comes Next.

I ask Vocation Directors, in all humility, that we at least be able to ask and not be considered to be an annoyance.

Okay, I’m going to quit venting now before I get too excited and fall out of my chair and break a hip. 😉

Thanks for your time, appreciation and (hopefully) smiles.

Peace
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Are you wanting to be a “Priest” or a Brother"? If you would like to be a brother and are interesting in the medical field, social work, etc try the Alexian Brothers. You fit within their age parameters. They appear to have a wonderful ministry.
youtube.com/watch?v=YTPIiFI23wo&feature=related
youtube.com/watch?v=YjWYqqz8rVU&feature=related
youtube.com/watch?v=VRplwFWXhI8&NR=1

The problem for some orders is the difficulty of people who are a little older (not necessarily old) in adjusting. Think about it. A 25 year old with little life experience tends to be a little more flexible and adjust (just like the military). Take a 45 year old with a great deal of life experience who is a corporate CEO. The CEO suddenly joins an order as a novice (military Private). The CEO is used to running organizations, analyzing trends, supervising department heads, developing ways to improve organizations, etc. In the order he will not be telling the Abbot how to run the order nor giving advice on personnel matters and so on. The novice may be pealing potatoes. Hard adjustment. It is a also a generalization. Some orders will make age exceptions when they get to know someone. It makes sense.
 
RevDrNorth said:
If you would like to be a brother and are interesting in the medical field, social work, etc try the Alexian Brothers. You fit within their age parameters. They appear to have a wonderful ministry.
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Funny that you should mention the Alexians. I mentioned them to a Cathecumen I sponsored a few years ago as they seemed to be a good fit for him in the direction he wished to head in for the future. Your information is doubly appreciated.

And yes, it’s very apparent why many orders would care for the younger mind set and lack of world experience.

In a word, I was just bellyachin’

Peace
 
basenji said:
And yes, it’s very apparent why many orders would care for the younger mind set and lack of world experience.

In a word, I was just bellyachin’

Peace
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I share the same sentiment. Times have changed, many people above forty are still doing great and are not that old.

albertziggy:rolleyes:
 
basenji said:
I realize, understand and fully appreciate the misgivings and many reasons that most orders have regarding older inquirers. It’s certainly not as if they wish to serve “Cycle 3: For Older and Less Active Postulants”. But geez…lighten up fellas. It’s not a crime to be one’s mid-forties and discerning What Comes Next.

I ask Vocation Directors, in all humility, that we at least be able to ask and not be considered to be an annoyance.

Okay, I’m going to quit venting now before I get too excited and fall out of my chair and break a hip. 😉

Thanks for your time, appreciation and (hopefully) smiles.

Peace
Click to expand...
Haha, Basenji-I did laugh at your post-especially the ‘break a hip’ part…😃

But, seriously-I’m in total agreement with you. I’ll be 54 next month, and I know that there is nowhere for people like us to go to with regards to a vocation!

My diocese is rather liberal-we just got a new Bishop-and the only Orders we got are the same ol’ tired ones that are gonna die anyway. No new blood at all.

But the ones that are flourishing elsewhere? It’s ‘no one over 35 need apply’…:rolleyes:

Oy…it DOES ‘get old’ very fast! 🤷
 
ByzCath said:
Most male orders have a maximum age where they tend to draw the line. This is due to the older candidate not really being able to adjust to community life, though that is something that they are willing to test, but the other issue is the formation period.

My community has a minimum of 8 years in formation.
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The same thing for female orders, too, Brother David. A lot of them have 5 or 6 years in formation.

Not like the ‘olden days’ when it was six months for postulancy, a year for novitiate, and BOOM! final vows!
 
I understand there are some legitimate reasons for age limits. But also, we are in a time where a large percentage of Americans are aging baby boomers who have a lot of life to give yet even though they are older. When I was 40, I was told I was too old. I am now 50 and I guess I’ll never be a nun now. But I still look for new orders and new opportunities. Maybe I’ll look into a lay ministry or a third order but I have always wanted a “total commitment” and to witness my commitment to God by wearing a habit. Guess we might have to settle for something else to serve our God and community? Or not.
 
barb_finnegan said:
BTW, basenji-do you have a basenji? I mean, the dog?
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I used to be owned by a Basenji and they’d be the first to insist that they aren’t dogs 😉

My schedule now is too chaotic for one. I’d like to get another but I seem to be discerning a different direction in my life, if you know what I mean.
 
janessa1850 said:
I understand there are some legitimate reasons for age limits. But also, we are in a time where a large percentage of Americans are aging baby boomers who have a lot of life to give yet even though they are older. When I was 40, I was told I was too old. I am now 50 and I guess I’ll never be a nun now. But I still look for new orders and new opportunities. Maybe I’ll look into a lay ministry or a third order but I have always wanted a “total commitment” and to witness my commitment to God by wearing a habit. Guess we might have to settle for something else to serve our God and community? Or not.
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Please take a look at the Eudist Servants of the 11th Hour
eudistservants.org/site/index.php

The sister whom I know entered the order around age of 60. Mother Antonia, the founder, is an awesome sister. I have met her too. The order is taking women at 40 and older.
 
In my diocese we have a seminarian who is a widower and his son is a priest! This man was a deacon and sometime after his wife died, began to discern a call to the priesthood.

Can you imagine . . . one day his son might vest him at his ordination!! 👍
 
withwind said:
Please take a look at the Eudist Servants of the 11th Hour
eudistservants.org/site/index.php

The sister whom I know entered the order around age of 60. Mother Antonia, the founder, is an awesome sister. I have met her too. The order is taking women at 40 and older.
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Very interesting. An order for women that encourages older vocations and one (Alexian Brothers) for men that does the same (though I think only to age 55). Let us know if either of you explore those vocations.
 
RevDrNorth said:
Very interesting. An order for women that encourages older vocations and one (Alexian Brothers) for men that does the same (though I think only to age 55). Let us know if either of you explore those vocations.
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The orders of brothers (ie all are brothers) are worse off than the sisters. I would be very surprised if they wouldn’t consider a man in good health through his 60’s!
 
There is a great program for the priesthood-older vocations at Hales Corner, Wis. I head of one student that was 80. I had one friend that was ordained at 50 and another at 64-that went there. Rather than a degree in theology they offer certification and a shorter time of study. Finding a bishop willing to send you is another problem. Most diocese offer a discernment group for the priesthood and the vocation director can help you get started.

Dcn Tony
 
Since Holy Thursday, April 2007, The Sisters of the Real Presence of Our Lord Jesus Christ was started by myself and another Sister in the Archdiocese of Chicago. Our “Project” to form a religious community of consecrated Sisters is meant for the Church’s work of teaching the true Catholic faith, especially the Real Presence of Jeus in the Blessed Sacrament, to pray for Priests and to teach the traditions and truth of our faith by using Fine arts to teach the Sacred. We will provide events, presentations, fine dinners, pilgrimages, performances by using the Arts, writing, music, acting, architecture and even culinary arts. We will have no age limit and we are willing to take women who have health challenges as long as she can care for herself. We participate at the Extraordinary Form of the Latin Rite Mass and at the Novus Ordo. We pray and chant the entire Divine Office (so we are monastic), follow the Rule of St. Augustine and wear a long black tunic habit and veil. Please call or write to us today. 1-773-984-8725, 773-582-5282 or P.O. Box 587 Summit, IL 60501. God Bless You! —Sister Kathleen Marie
 
This subject seems to be one that literally goes around in circles endlessly. I understand what each side is saying about a vocation at an older age. To begin, its is a fact that everyone learns from everyone. This goes on everyday of our lives. This whole idea needs to be looked at in depth. Alot of depth. It can not just be brushed off with excuses from both sides of the argument. I have often thought about my own calling at the early age of about 9 years of age and it might have been younger. (Yes, I know there can be discussion about this fact, also.) Has anyone stopped and thought about why many older men did not go into a vocation at an early age. Let me tell you one, my own. I think that mine might be one of the more significant ones. Telling ones family at an early age is very hard to do in many families. Especially in todays times with all that is going on in the church. Then there are the friends and the ridicule.One of the reasons that I did not follow my strong calling is that no one told me what to do. At eight years of age I was getting up and going to mass seven days a week. When I walked into a church, I was and still am overwhelmed. Had some one told me how to follow what was going on inside of me I would be a priest today for sure. I remember hearing my family saying in another room that they thought that one day I would be in a seminary. No one explained anythingto me what might be the next step. The next thing, the family and friends. I know many families and I am still not sure if my family would fall under this, that would start with the "But I have plans for you when you get older or why would you want to go and do a thing like that. I know many people that had that happen to them. Its a subject that you won’t usually hear around a bunch of teen or even twenty year-olds talking about while they are together playing basketball or today with the video games, etc. By that time, you are usually into the family business or got a good job, but still have that one most important thing in your life missing. Without going into this more I am sure most if not all of you are getting the picture I am trying to portray. This is alot deeper than people realize. Well for along time now I thought of an order of brothers that did nothing but going around the country, visiting catholic schools and religious instruction classes unannounced and not going in as the older person trying to get into the mind and soul of a young person, but just entering, throwing out the teacher and taking the kids to an informal area, ( not the classrom ) and letting everyone open up and discuss each others feelings, ask all the questions they have and getting them into the direction they want. If they would like the brother to go to they parents and discuss the feelings and callings, also doing that. The brother would come down to their level feet on the desk or kicking back on a sofa type of scene. so they can see that they have all the right to say and ask what they are or are not feeling without the possibility of making them feel like they are beneath the people they love and like. Most of those people, their friends, would be right there and asking also. This would make it easier for them to talk to their own peers about what they are contemplating and possibly understand and give them the support that they need if they weren’t thinking of doing it them selves. The brother(s) could agree to stay around for a day or two to talk more with em, maybe one on one or more with the family. Giving the family a better understanding what their child is being called for. This would be the only thing tht this order of brothers would do. When they showed up to hang out, and I mean hang out with these kids, the teachers are out the door and nowhere to be seen. I know of so many people that did not persue a vocation for these and many other reasons. These brothers would have to have a certain quality to be able to come down to level of these kids so they could connect. I always have young people coming to m to show them things about computers or to do some electrical work aroundtheir parents house so they can imprees their family that they can do that. Why not with religion. For these reasons we have lost so many piests and brothers. Myself included. My calling to do something for the Lord is stronger than ever and I have thought long and hard about this. There would be a priest or two in the order forthe mass and be up front to tell the world what we brothers are doing and how many people have decided to enter an order. Thats another thing that most kids today don’t understand is the different orders. All of this can be done so easily with the right brothers. That would not only be a great thing for our church but for the young people that we are losing everyday and the older people that we are losing everyday. If you think about it, its kind of like what Francis of Assisi did… This is a win, win plan, when you look at doing something like this in depth. When you come down to the children, they open up and listen. They can see all the options they have and their families would probably get involved. All of this could come about just by a couple of brothers just showing up one day and throwing all the rules out the window and everybody just talking and talking. My heart and soul tells me this would bring so many priest and brothers to the church. I think one of the keys to this who thing working is that the order has permission to walk into a scholl or a catechism class unannouced. The only thing that schools and catechism class instructors would know is that this could happen anytime thru the year. They are out of the picture completely while this goes on. Afterwards, they would be involved with any student that is now on the path to a vocation. In my mind and especially my heart and soul, I know this would bring many people to THE LORD. I have thought about this for along time. Gene
 
Gene,

Good thoughts.

I imagine that you haven’t posted much, but I find that it’s easier to read a long post if it’s broken up into paragraphs, whether that is appropriate or not, depending on the context.

That said, your idea has merit, tho’ I suspect many catechists and teachers would be seriously annoyed.

Young people who think that they may have a call should consult their priest. I don’t know if you did or not. In your day, there were a lot of priests around, and one could have helped you. Today, each diocese has a vocation director who probably can be contacted online if not in person, in case the priest is absent. No one would overlook a kid who goes to daily Mass.

I don’t know how old you are or what your personal situation is, but older men can still become priests, and/or join many orders, particularly orders of brothers, which are in serious trouble, or orders which contain brothers.
 
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