Believe but does not like God

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MaryandJoseph

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I believe in God.
I believe in Holy Mother Church…
I believe in the doctrines…
I believe in All Holy Mother Church teaches…

Now here is my problem.

I believe in God but I do not like Him.😦

That is the single most upsetting thing for me. I WANT to Love and Like God, but I struggle with this.

It was not love that brought me to a belief in God,( convert from atheism) but a rational scientific realization that God truly exists and is the creator of all. Sadly though, my heart has not caught up to my brain in that I believe but do not Love God. This is HORRIBLE and causing great spiritual stress for me.

I pray that Jesus puts this love into my heart, and pray for help from my Blessed Mother Mary as well (now SHE I love totally) My faith is in my head only, as my heart seems to be empty. This is distressing to say the least.

Prayer seems to be empty words, and only rarely do I experience an inner joy(as when a car load of habit wearing nuns came through my restaurant drive thru the other day) I had to hold back my tears as they were so beautiful and holy looking to me.

I know that God is always sending little signs and signals to me, but with a cold heart (please forgive me Lord), I do not act upon them like I should.

How do I learn to LOVE God, relative to just believing in Him?

as a side note, I have limited time to gain internet user time, so might not respond in a timely manner.

Mother Mary, please pray that I learn to love God, show me the way…
 
MaryandJoseph said:
I believe in God.
I believe in Holy Mother Church…
I believe in the doctrines…
I believe in All Holy Mother Church teaches…

Now here is my problem.

I believe in God but I do not like Him.😦

That is the single most upsetting thing for me. I WANT to Love and Like God, but I struggle with this.

It was not love that brought me to a belief in God,( convert from atheism) but a rational scientific realization that God truly exists and is the creator of all. Sadly though, my heart has not caught up to my brain in that I believe but do not Love God. This is HORRIBLE and causing great spiritual stress for me.

I pray that Jesus puts this love into my heart, and pray for help from my Blessed Mother Mary as well (now SHE I love totally) My faith is in my head only, as my heart seems to be empty. This is distressing to say the least.

Prayer seems to be empty words, and only rarely do I experience an inner joy(as when a car load of habit wearing nuns came through my restaurant drive thru the other day) I had to hold back my tears as they were so beautiful and holy looking to me.

I know that God is always sending little signs and signals to me, but with a cold heart (please forgive me Lord), I do not act upon them like I should.

How do I learn to LOVE God, relative to just believing in Him?

as a side note, I have limited time to gain internet user time, so might not respond in a timely manner.

Mother Mary, please pray that I learn to love God, show me the way…
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We come to love God as we come to know Him. And this takes time; it’s the very *goal *of Christianity; to the extent that we fulfill the greatest commandments, to love God with our whole heart, soul, mind, and strength and our neighbor as ourselves, our holiness/justice is complete. He’s the Potter, molding the clay; our job is to cooperate: to seek, pray, obey, do the work He gives us to do. As we respond to His grace, He reveals Himself more and more, and love/justice grows in us. we’re all a work in progress. Adam failed miserably to acknowledge God’s value; we’re here to come to understand Adam’s failure-and reverse it within ourselves.
 
MaryandJoseph:

Love is a human emotion, it involves feelings and convictions or thought. We are body and soul, matter and spirit. We can love without feelings such as being committed to the truth and faith no matter how we feel. We pray many times without feelings, because we are committed, and the deepest spiritual love is when we are hurting we still remain committed. This may be called "spiritual aridity, spiritual dryness. Love may not seem like love when we don’t feel anything. But be assured it is love when we seek, and do the will of God in our lives.

But since we are human, it would be wholly human to feel, as well as to live by convictions
There are remedies for spiritual dryness. We can ask God for a spiritual experience. It’s O.K. to do this, because if God doesn’t want to give you one, He won’t. But I know that in His love for us, He will. (He is loaded with gifts). To feel some love for Him is a wonderful gift. Jesus is the precursor when asking for this gift. It’s a personal encounter, not necessarily one of turning from sin and turning to Christ, but one of deepening one’s faith, and love. You need to get to know Christ more, especially His love for you.

I will tell you a true story about a friend of mine, who had cancer, and now is in remission. I told her about what I’m telling you. I told her she could have a mountain top experience with Jesus. She said she desired this. She prayed, and her son found a rose shaped jewel box and in the box was the nativity scene (a precursor pointing to Jesus, the Savior) She was convinced that this was the experience. I said “No it wasn’t”
Then one day before Valentines Day, I went shopping with my wife, and picked up a “dozen roses” for my wife, and in the process I thought I would give one to my friend who wanted the experience with God. We drove to her home, and found her walking near her home. We drove up to her and said we had something for her. We handed her to long stem rose, and all of a sudden she became excited, and joyful, she kissed me, and went to the other side of the truck and kissed my wife. We asked her what the occasion was for such joy and she said that at that very moment she has just finished her novena and requested God, through the Little Flower, St. Theresa that I by name would give her a rose, she received her answer in spades! Since then she received courage to face some neuropathy after effects from cancer treatment, and has practiced her faith more intensely, she through Jesus had received her “mountain top experience” She calls it “Her little miracle” I often think of what Isaiah the Prophet said to King Ahaz, "Ask a sign from the Lord, even it as high as the heavens, or a low as Sheoul, the Lord will grant it to you. Ahaz answered “I will not tempt the Lord”, Isaiah answered " You tire my Lord, why do you treat Him like man, therefore He will give you a sign… (a Virgin shall conceive a son, He will be called Emanuel) para-phrased. I found this true in my life, and experience, praise, and love Jesus, God-man!!
 
I also want to include a prayer I found very helpful.

Look down upon me Oh Good and gentle Jesus, while before you I humbly pray and beseech thee to fix deep within me the lively sentiments and convictions of Faith, Hope, and Love. While I contemplate with great love and tender pity, Thy five wounds, and recall the words of David, thy prophet said of thee, my Jesus “They have pierced my hands and my side, they have numbered all of my bones”
 
Sincerely hand back to God your situation and ask for guidance.

God bless
THT
 
Thank you all for great advice and personal experiences.

Ynotzap, I never thought about simply Asking God for a spiritual experience. This is one prayer I will definitely pray.

I keep trying to find a spiritual adviser to help me understand my inner confusions and attitudes concerning God, but no luck so far.

I truly Want a loving relationship with God, but I lack the discipline to “pray without ceasing” which leads me to dislike God even more.

Mother Mary, you are the one who introduced me to your Son Jesus, please come again and help me.

Please keep me in your prayers as I struggle with. But I will never abandon my faith and God willing, I will come to a better understanding and learn to Love My God with all the Strength and Soul, mind and body.
 
How was your relationship with your earthly father? I have read if we don’t have a good relationship with our father it’s harder to get close to God, from our perspective.

Try to see how much God loves you. Remember all the good things in your life and how God has helped you. God loves you even if you don’t love Him. He also understands so give it time. You will get there.
 
MaryandJoseph said:
I believe in God but I do not like Him.😦

That is the single most upsetting thing for me. I WANT to Love and Like God, but I struggle with this.

…
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I know very well God exists, but I don’t always like Him either. As far as I’m concerned, He’s been very unfair at times, speaking personally.

Even my old pastor once commented to me “God’s unfair to a lot of people”. And he was right - some are born, live and die in absolute poverty, and God doesn’t do much about it. He expects us to do something obviously, but He doesn’t do much.

The same old pastor once said to me, “He doesn’t seem to help His own people much.” And he was a wise old pastor with a lot of experience.

Others live under tyrannical regimes all their life, and God doesn’t do much to get them out either. He also seems to allow the devil, HIs arch enemy, an awful lot of power in this world, while almost seeming to disenfranchise His own people much of the time.

Yet I know He exists. I’ve had far too many direct spiritual experiences to doubt that for a moment. I know the devil exists too, and probably we blame God for a lot of the devil’s works much of the time. The trouble is that God doesn’t seem to do much to stop him.

I suppose He wasn’t even fair to His own Son, when it’s all said and done. What did Christ do to deserve being ridiculed, humiliated, scourged and crucified? And yet despite that, Christ claimed the Father loved Him, and He loved the Father. Maybe so, but at the crucifixion, even He cried out, “Abba! Abba! Why have you forsaken me?”

So what is this divine love?

It’s not something you can understand by looking up the word “love” in the dictionary. Faith requires development, and that comes with time and experience. Which may mean that for a season you don’t like God.
 
Sadly Oneofmany, my dad was killed in an auto accident when I was 5 months old. I grew up never fully understanding WHAT a father really was, other then what I saw from other families and T.V. Obviously, a very myopic view.

I understand being spiritually “dry” at times, but my problem is a bit more serious (least to me it is) Because I do not like God (may He forgive me) I find that I pray less and in fact, feel a sense of anger wash over me.

My 17 yr old son played the movie Gods NOT Dead for his dad and me the other night, and I did not like it. The only character in the movie I actually liked was the college prof.

I know that Love and Feelings are human emotions, but God gave us these emotions and because we are who we are, that is what we have to work with. For me, if I cannot Love, I feel more separated and alone.

I need a spiritual director so much right now, but my deacon said he could not and does not even know of anyone in my parish who has the time. We have a local Catholic HS in my area with a very small group of Sisters, is it possible that one of them could be a spiritual director?

On the UP side though, I will never leave my beloved Catholic faith and turn my back on my belief in God. Maybe at this time in my spiritual life, I am Not suppose to Love God but only to believe and worship Him?? Talk about confusion.
 
Hi, there were several things that helped me… St Alphonsus Liguori helped people to love God by helping them to see how He views them. Thinking about everything more to imagine Jesus’ perspective helped me as well. For example… Try to practice some mental prayer every day and reflect on some points.

Ask Our Lady to give you her own love for Her Son.
Imagine how God created you with so much love, with a mission that only you could fulfill. Think of Jesus seeing your soul in the Garden during His Agony and when He was dying. Think of Him waiting for you in the Blessed Sacrament. Not just waiting but longing for you.

Sometimes we need to grow in trust… Make an act of trust in God’s goodness. If you were to meet Jesus now, how would He look at you? Try to imagine the greatest goodness and this would still not be enough

Think of His love and longing for souls. I would also rely more on your will rather than feelings… That you want to grow in love for God already is a grace 🙂

I think maybe you just need to get to know Him a little more! 🙂 not just about Him, but Him more directly… Mental prayer and Adoration, especially together, can really help. And I would ask Our Lady for her love for Jesus every day 🙂

Another thing I found helpful was reading Jesus’ loving words to the Catholic mystics. Two books I would recommend are “words of love” from TAN publishers and He and I by Gabrielle Bossis. The second book has a preface written by the translator that uses some unusual terminology though there’s a footnote saying the translator was a faithful Catholic… But the book itself is amazing, the mystic (Gabrielle) was a faithful Catholic who lived in the 1900s - I think pre V2 so a while ago. The book has an Imprimatur. Words of Love is a collection of very beautiful approved revelations. These books have helped me a lot…

Other books I would really recommend are Way of Divine Love by Sr Josefa Menendez and St Faustina’s Diary. All these books have helped me to know Jesus more and so love Him more than before.

St Alphonsus Liguori’s Practice of the Love of Jesus Christ is also excellent in raising the heart towards God.

In the end, all this is the result of grace, and so I think Adoration is also very helpful… I mean Eucharistic Adoration. I don’t know if its available in your area… I’m a convert and it was one of the things that helped me deepen my response to Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament.

God bless you! 🙂
 
Also, I wouldn’t advise seeking spiritual experiences but I would recommend asking God to help you know Him better in order to love Him 🙂 He knows exactly the way…

Also its very powerful to ask Our Lady to give you her own love for Jesus and to obtain the graces the She sees you need at this moment. Both of these prayers I have found helpful 🙂

Also if you have some difficulty relating to God as your Father, maybe you could use another aspect of our relationship with Him first? For example Christ is also our Friend, Brother … I have a good relationship with my dad but I actually started relating first to Jesus as to my greatest Friend. Eventually I understood more about God being our Father. I read words from Jesus saying to someone (I forgot who exactly but it has approval by Bishop) that He can be for us what we most need… I didn’t really have friends growing up so that was the first way I came to Him

Try to see with trust His love and goodness in everything 🙂 even in suffering, He is with us and not far away, but suffering with us…
 
Prayer, reading the New Testament, lectio divina, formation …spiritual direction from a good Priest…etc

…holding fast even during dry or painful times…

“I invite all Christians, everywhere, at this very moment, to a renewed personal encounter with Jesus Christ, or at least an openness to letting him encounter them; I ask all of you to do this unfailingly each day.”

~ Pope Francis (The Joy of the Gospel)

“Christian joy thus springs from this certainty: God is close, he is with me, he is with us, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, as a friend and faithful spouse. And this joy endures, even in trials, in suffering itself. It does not remain only on the surface; it dwells in the depths of the person who entrusts himself to God and trusts in him.”

~ Pope Benedict XVI Anglus 16 December 2007

“Being Christian is not the result of an ethical choice or a lofty idea, but the encounter with an event, a person, which gives life a new horizon and a decisive direction.”

~ Pope Benedict XVI Deus Caritas Est

“Faith opens us to knowing and welcoming the real identity of Jesus, his newness and oneness, his word, as a source of life, in order to live a personal relationship with him. Knowledge of the faith grows, it grows with the desire to find the way and in the end it is a gift of God who does not reveal himself to us as an abstract thing without a face or a name, because faith responds to a Person who wants to enter into a relationship of deep love with us and to involve our whole life.”

~ Pope Benedict XVI (Sunday, 14 August 2011)
 
Bookcat said:
Prayer, reading the New Testament, lectio divina, formation …spiritual direction from a good Priest…etc

…holding fast even during dry or painful times…

“I invite all Christians, everywhere, at this very moment, to a renewed personal encounter with Jesus Christ, or at least an openness to letting him encounter them; I ask all of you to do this unfailingly each day.”

~ Pope Francis (The Joy of the Gospel)

“Christian joy thus springs from this certainty: God is close, he is with me, he is with us, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, as a friend and faithful spouse. And this joy endures, even in trials, in suffering itself. It does not remain only on the surface; it dwells in the depths of the person who entrusts himself to God and trusts in him.”

~ Pope Benedict XVI Anglus 16 December 2007

“Being Christian is not the result of an ethical choice or a lofty idea, but the encounter with an event, a person, which gives life a new horizon and a decisive direction.”

~ Pope Benedict XVI Deus Caritas Est

“Faith opens us to knowing and welcoming the real identity of Jesus, his newness and oneness, his word, as a source of life, in order to live a personal relationship with him. Knowledge of the faith grows, it grows with the desire to find the way and in the end it is a gift of God who does not reveal himself to us as an abstract thing without a face or a name, because faith responds to a Person who wants to enter into a relationship of deep love with us and to involve our whole life.”

~ Pope Benedict XVI (Sunday, 14 August 2011)
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Bookcat: 👍

When I mentioned “spiritual experience” I gathered this knowledge , first from my own life, then from the lives of many other Christians, including saints. We do not look for these experiences intentionally to make them a matter of routine, our faith is not based on that. I already mentioned the nobler things of faith, to believe without seeing. But God in His love and mercy has granted them, sometimes without request, and sometimes with request. Even the great mystic, St.Theresa of Avilla, teacher of the spiritual life stated, that some can climb the shear wall of the mountain of perfection (an austere life of the virtues) but as for her she would take the road around the mountain of perfection which has an occasional place of oasis,(where one enjoys an occasional spiritual consolation) If the requested spiritual experience will bring you to a greater love of Jesus, by all means request it. I also said if Jesus doesn’t want to give it at this time, He won’t, but it doesn’t mean that He never will, have expectant faith, I have witnessed that it does happen. Many people have suffered much in many ways, and God is very compassionate, He gives meaning to the word. Why do people treat Him like a Pauper, do they think so little of Him? I am always open to His generosity, I try my best not to keep His Spirit in the box of my mind. Another note: the experience has the potential to give you knowledge and love of God, quicker then you would get it from reading many spiritual books. If God want’s to give His people His consolations,why stifle the Holy Spirit.?
 
MaryandJoseph said:
I WANT to Love and Like God, but I struggle with this.
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How can we love a God who we have never met? The following passage gives a practical answer.

Mathew 25
34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
 
I work 50 to 60 hours a week, so any in-depth reading would be difficult.

Going to Mary though, like alot of you who have suggested, sounds perfect for me. After all, it was She who first showed me who her Son was.👍

As for considering Jesus my Friend! That does not work for me. I communicate best with Jesus when I call Him “My Boss”…please don’t “throw stones” at me.:o It just works best for me.
 
Just keep in mind that over time, we might be drawn to discovering Jesus in different ways, and something might not seem applicable now, but be very helpful in the future 🙂

I do believe that Jesus desires us to have more and more closeness to Him, and there is no fear of irreverence in wanting to be closer to Him 🙂 but we need to get to know Him better and this is a lifetime journey… Adoration has really helped me personally with that.

The books I mentioned also have very short paragraphs that could be read in any order and even just one at a time 🙂

God bless!
 
MaryandJoseph - I suspect/know that your expressed dislike of God is down to you not understanding Him - that you probably find it hard to accept that your understanding of God falls far short of God’s total reality.

ps. For myself, Jesus is indeed ‘my boss’, but He is also so much more. Funnily, I also often refer to Heaven as ‘Head Office’. I am so glad that God through His humanity in Jesus, has a sense of humour! 👍
 
MaryandJoseph,

How I wish I could meet with you and help you through this one! It’s situations like this that make me want to pursue training in spiritual direction. The Church is desperately short on directors from what I’ve seen. I’d have a few questions to ask to better understand your dilemma because as is I’m actually kind of frustrated by it. It seems like you’re RIGHT THERE but not there at the same time, like you’re on your way to see Jesus and He’s already riding shotgun :p.

Some questions that may help me understand: Who in the Trinity do you struggle most with? the Son Jesus Christ? the Father? or the Holy Spirit? If you have a good relationship with one and not the others, how best can you describe why the discrimination? How did you come to have such a devotion to Mary? What’s been your experience with the Gospels of Christ’s Death and Resurrection as it relates to your life experience and testimony? How long ago did you enter the Church?

In lieu of or in addition to proper spiritual direction, I highly suggest following this podcast by Fr. John Richardo called “Christ is the Answer”: itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ave-maria-radio-christ-is/id726437663?mt=2. The past couple of weeks will be especially helpful for your particular needs. I recommend starting with the episode released on March 3, 2015 and working your way to the most recent. I think you’ll find a lot in common with Fr. Richardo’s testimony in that first episode and will get to know him well from it. The ones that follow will contain other testimonies that will prove helpful as well as some exhortations and suggestions for how to better know God.

To summarize some of the points I remember from his sermons that I think will be helpful for you: 1. Knowing things about God is different than knowing God. I’m actually quite amazed that data and argument won you over so strongly. From my experience, conversion normally doesn’t come about by the head alone but with the head and the heart (and sometimes heart sans head). To know God requires the same as knowing any human friend, spending time and talking with them. This is my (and Fr. Richardo’s) first suggestion: waste time with God in the Blessed Sacrament. I read that you’re pressed for time with a 60hr work week and a family. Somehow, however possible, find an opportunity, be it at a perpetual adoration chapel with the Eucharist exposed (most preferable) or by arriving a half hour early or leaving a half hour after mass. If in any of those opportunities you find yourself alone with the Lord, speak your mind out loud. After a while, I’m sure you’ll find that the idea of “wasting time with God” is actually quite ironic because it’ll be some of the most useful time you’ll spend in this life. After all, you’ll be practicing for heaven. This leads into the second point: 2. Wrestle with God, or at least His angels. Israelite means “one who wrestles with God.” Look up Genesis 32:23-33. Fight with Him. Tell Him what’s on your mind and tell Him again until He answers. He may answer to your liking and He may answer to your disliking but He will answer. I guarantee it. Be open to His answer. To better hear it, reduce noise in your life from TV, radio (except Catholic Radio ;)), and gossip. Eventually, this arguing and struggling will turn to expressions of love and submission of will. 3. You said you struggle with “praying without ceasing.” Begin to understand your daily sufferings as prayer by uniting it to Jesus’s Crucifixion. As He offered His suffering for others, so ought we offer ours for others. Fr. Richardo will expound on this in one or more of those episodes. On Catholic Answers Live Friday, he said a line that sounded like a joke and made me laugh out loud “Mother Theresa walked into a hospital room where two cancer patients were suffering terribly. She said to one, ‘You take China,’ and to the other, ‘You take Russia.’” Though this does not give our suffering meaning, it does give it purpose or usefulness. Prayer doesn’t have to be verbal or thoughts formed into words. Works are prayers. I perceive working at my job as prayer. I “suffer” through bad days and making “thanksgiving” for good days. Honestly, the latter has become more difficult as I forget to give thanks for the goods I receive more often than I remember to “offer up” the bad but I’m working on it. Finally, 4. alms-giving and charity. “. . . whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mind, you did for me.” Matthew 25:40. By helping others, you will begin to see the face of God in theirs. That vision will help provide you with the encounter you need to come to know Him. This encounter will be much more effective when you perform corporal and spiritual works of mercy in person rather than through charitable agencies, though please continue charitable donations and please perform works of mercy safely. This point dovetails well with offering things to God. Start with giving Him things you hate if that’s all you can do now. The only thing you can give God that He didn’t give you is your anxiety. Give Him that then work your way to things you love.

These four points all intertwine as they are also the four ways we express love to one another: spending/wasting time with the other, verbal expressions, deeds, and gifts. While it’s easy to perform these four ways when we do genuinely love God, there’s something to be said for performing them when we don’t. Matthew 21:28-32 tells of two sons asked to do the will of their Father (their Boss); one did, one didn’t. The one that did at first refused. The one who didn’t at first agreed. Immanuel Kant might say that the first refused out of disdain and may well have worked still with that disdain and that may actually be more pleasing to the Father.

If nothing else, keep up your devotions to Our Blessed Mother. She always always brings us to “the Boss.”
 
Pray for the Holy Spirit to guide you through this. Ask St Michael to help you remove these doubts that are getting in the way of your relationship with God. Because these are “doubts” and Satan wants us to doubt and question our faith.
God loves you, but we were never promised that any relationship would be “easy” or “feel good” all the time.
Love takes many different shapes and forms. You will find it if you ask.
 
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