As someone who goes to church regularly, grew up reading the bible, and praying, I too sometimes get moments of …not so much doubt, but just wondering. Wondering what real proof do we have. How do we know God is really out there? I like science, and I like philosophy. I have read a few different view points from atheists and theists. I would suggest you do the same, but never settle on one answer. Explore and question. If you don’t question it, you’ll never find the answer.
One thing I enjoyed realizing is this:
There are two types of reality: some say it is apparent reality and ultimate reality. Apparent reality is everything that we are able to touch, see, hear, taste…basically, a notion of ultimate reality, our limited comprehension of it (theories, hypothesis’ and beliefs)…apparent reality is not always Truth. Ultimate reality is the state of things as they actually exist. We are unable to see it fully, or even comprehend it, but we know that it exists .
We discover aspects of ultimate reality all the time though our five senses. Take for instance the laws of gravity. The laws of gravity were always there, but we didn’t know they existed. We didn’t author those laws, they were there waiting for us to discover them. But our discoveries of certain aspects of ultimate reality are not just confined to our five senses. The knowledge of good and evil does not rely on any of our five senses, but we are all aware of it (even people who do not believe in God are aware of it, because they commonly state they do not need religion to be a good person).
The only true constant in the universe is ultimate reality. It does not change, so therefore it was, it is, and it always will be regardless of the state of anything else. It is everything. Ultimate reality is God.
Einstein said this on the subject of God and the universe: “We are in the position of a little child, entering a huge library whose walls are covered to the ceiling with books in many different tongues. The child knows that someone must have written those books. It does not know who or how. It does not understand the languages in which they are written. The child notes a definite plan in the arrangement of the books, a mysterious order, which it does not comprehend, but only dimly suspects. That, it seems to me, is the attitude of the human mind, even the greatest and most cultured, toward God. We see a universe marvelously arranged, obeying certain laws, but we understand the laws only dimly.”
Just my two cents on this subject. I wish you the best in your journey to the Truth.