Best dating website?

[abb]

Which of all the dating websites out there do you ladies and gentlemen recommend? It’s hard for me to commit to one since you have to pay for it in the first place, which I don’t agree with. I understand having to pay your server bill every month, but charging so much money per month from each member really bothers me for some reason. Although, it seems as a last resort for me since I have no time to get out and find anyone, because I attend school at night and work during the day, working six days a week. It’s difficult to get out. So if anyone has some opions on the three websites that I know of (ave maria, e-harmoney, catholic singles) or if you know of another one please share. I want to get the most for my money, as bad as that sounds. Thanks.

 

[1ke]

Ave Maria is the site with the most serious, devout Catholic men and women.

The other Catholic sites-- while they do have some devout Catholics-- seem to attract more secular types, although they identify themselves as Catholic.

I met my husband on Ave Maria. We were both on the site 2 years before we met each other. So, don’t expect overnight miracles. Just like anything else, you have to put time and effort into it.

You sound like you kind of expect a woman to just fall in your lap on a dating website, versus having to put in effort in the “real world”. It doesn’t work that way.

As for paying a fee-- well, you get what you pay for. The “free” sites attract nothing but crazy people and weirdos. And, it is a service after all-- one that has bills to pay-- so of course you should have to pay a fee.

 

[gam3rchic]

I agree that avemariasingles.com is the best…i also met my husband on there after i had been a member for almost 2 years. I was a member of just about all the catholic dating sites and I always thought that AMS was the best b/c the people seemed more conservative and not as flaky overall. The fee is just a one time fee (at least it was back when i first joined, did they change it?) and I think they have a discount for students (which they also did back when I joined, dunno if they still do that). If you wanna join just one, go with AMS, IMO.

 

[jrabs]

psssst. I’d have to say CAF. This is where I met my boy friend.
Hey ya never know where God is going to place that someone special.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

I will put my :twocents: in for Ave Maria Singles. My DW and I met on that site. Our marriage has been so blessed (blessed with baby #4 on the way) and we have the good Lord to thank for that. We feel that AMS did a great job with their outline that it did not leave a lot of thing out of the picture. In filling out their very extensive profile, you at times wonder if it will ever end, but your answers are so important and really help others that read your profile get a quick glimpse of you and vice versa.

Not sure how much it is to join, but I think that it would be worth every penny.

 

[Sierrah]

Ave Maria Singles - I no luck there at all. Except for hearing from a few guys from Canada…? Way too far to for me to even think of.
Catholicsingles.com. Met a few nice guys but nothing clicked.
Catholicmatch. Met a lot of nice people but nothing ever clicked.
If I had to choose over again I would have just joined Catholicmatch for a while and not bothered with the rest. I think Catholicmatch has a better track record even though I didn’t have any luck there but I hear about marriages taking place all the time so that’s the one I would go with if I were you.
I think joining clubs and activity groups is really the best way to meet people over all but there’s nothing wrong with posting a profile on a dating website if you feel like it just don’t have high expectations and be open to starting friendships.

 

[kevinsgirl]

I chose AveMariaSingles.com because it seemed more geared towards serious Catholics. I also liked that there was a fee up front because I think that alone weeds out a lot of the people who are just singles site browsers.

It took me 3 years to find my husband, but I met lots of nice guys during the wait. And having nice, Catholic guys to goof around with online definitely makes the wait less stressful.

My hubby’s and my marriage is nothing short of God pushing us toward each other on AMS. We lived on opposite sides of the US–he was on the west coast, I was in the dep south–and yet we really were perfect for each other…

Don’t try to rush God. He’ll send the right person at the right time. Just be open to the direction He pushes you in. For me it was Ave Maria Singles…

God bless,

kevinsgirl

P.S. If you do decide to join a website to find your spouse, don’t be what I call a reluctant member. If you join, do it cheerfully and don’t spend your whole profile talking about how this is a last ditch effort and how you never ever thought you’d actually do this. I found people like that were easy to pass over and get fewer responses from other members. Instead, use your profile to talk about your interests. Throw in a little humor, add some casual pictures, and have fun getting to know more fellow Catholics…

 

[abb]

Thanks for the advice thus far. As for Catholicmatch, I had never heard of that one before, thank you. I looked around on Ave Maria and it seems a little geared towards older than my age group in which I’m interesting in (early twenties).

1ke, with your comment, “You sound like you kind of expect a woman to just fall in your lap on a dating website, versus having to put in effort in the “real world”. It doesn’t work that way.” I’m sorry if I had come across this way, which couldn’t be anything farther from the truth. I just don’t have any personal time at the moment, much less time for me to go out and socialize, which makes it much easier for me to spend 15 minutes a night on the computer trying to meet people. I didn’t mean it was a last resort in the sense that nothing else works, rather than this is the only option I have at the moment. I hope that clears some things up, I wouldn’t want any more fire than necessary out of this thread. Thanks for the reply.

 

[ack]

Hmm, so I guess the relationship didn’t work out then. I’m sorry about that.

Avemaria is best for people who are serious about getting married as soon as possible, and who are willing to commit lots of time to their search. Catholicmatch is good for people who are a little more casual, but are still interested in meeting strong Catholics. Eharmony is not a Catholic site, but some Catholics use it.

I understand having to pay your server bill every month, but charging so much money per month from each member really bothers me for some reason.

Charging fees is a GOOD thing, because that keeps the non-serious from wasting time on the site.

I wish you the best of luck.

 

[abb]

ack:

Hmm, so I guess the relationship didn’t work out then. I’m sorry about that. .

To what are you referring to?

ack:

Charging fees is a GOOD thing, because that keeps the non-serious from wasting time on the site.

I wish you the best of luck.

I’ve come to agree with this as well.

 

[ack]

Well, I remember that you were asking us for girlfriend advice, not so long ago. I remember replying to one of your threads. So, it seems like that relationship didn’t work out.

To what are you referring to?

 

[abb]

Yeah, you’re correct it didn’t. A huge language barrier, with her not wanting to put forth any effort to learn English really didn’t go over all that great in the end. Thanks for remembering me.

 

[kevinsgirl]

Thanks for the advice thus far. As for Catholicmatch, I had never heard of that one before, thank you. I looked around on Ave Maria and it seems a little geared towards older than my age group in which I’m interesting in (early twenties).

I joined AMS when I was 18 and I’m your age now…22. I popped onto my husband’s account and you’re right, there aren’t a TON of girls in our age group, but I counted at least 50…with some real lovely girls on there.

Best of luck with whichever website you choose!

kevinsgirl

 

[HOPEFUL_IN_UK]

I met my husband on Catholic Match.

I was also a member of AMS. It was OK, but at the time, I didn’t like it nearly as much. There were no message boards to mingle on. Women reported being “rushed” in the first few days of membership as “fresh meat” and then getting nothing for weeks on end. I think I’ve heard that AMS now has message boards… that would make it easier, I think, to meet and mingle. The best feature of CM, I found, was the women’s only message board. We had some fun in there! (And, it was useful for sussing out the game players/figuring out what was and wasn’t normal or acceptable.)

And, to be honest: a lot of the same members were on both sites.

If I have one word of advice, it’s this: don’t be too eager to believe everything someone says. I met (IRL or online) and heard about quite a few people who said all the right things in their profiles - very devout, very conservative, very eager to marry - and turned out to be no better than some agnostic you could meet in a bar. I’m serious.

 

[abb]

Hey I had another question, I signed up for Catholicsingles, I think it just seemed the most appealing to me. My question is: how far is too far to travel? I know it’s a somewhat personal preference with each individual… But over 100 miles seems kinda far, wouldn’t you think? There is no one in my area that has had recent activity. For the people that have had success with these type of things: how far did you have to look? Thanks!

 

[AlexaD]

It depends if you are willing to travel to meet someone whom you click with. I imagine that would be harder but it could be worth it. If you aren’t willing, then you might be waiting longer until someone comes along in your area. I don’t have a personal experience to share, but I know the sites have lots of stories of people who met with lots of distance between them, and made it work, right to marriage.

 

[1ke]

Hey I had another question, I signed up for Catholicsingles, I think it just seemed the most appealing to me. My question is: how far is too far to travel? I know it’s a somewhat personal preference with each individual… But over 100 miles seems kinda far, wouldn’t you think? There is no one in my area that has had recent activity. For the people that have had success with these type of things: how far did you have to look? Thanks!

In my 2 years on Ave Maria, I met 3 men in my own city in person, and none worked out. I traveled to 3 other states as part of dating/getting to know 3 other men I met on Ave, who also did not work out. I talked to a couple of other out of state men, but never met them.

Then, I met my now DH. We lived many states away from each other.

So, how far is too far? Personally, I’d go around the world for the right person.

 

[valient_Lucy]

I met my husband on Catholic Match.

I was also a member of AMS. It was OK, but at the time, I didn’t like it nearly as much. There were no message boards to mingle on. Women reported being “rushed” in the first few days of membership as “fresh meat” and then getting nothing for weeks on end. I think I’ve heard that AMS now has message boards… that would make it easier, I think, to meet and mingle. The best feature of CM, I found, was the women’s only message board. We had some fun in there! (And, it was useful for sussing out the game players/figuring out what was and wasn’t normal or acceptable.)

And, to be honest: a lot of the same members were on both sites.

If I have one word of advice, it’s this: don’t be too eager to believe everything someone says. I met (IRL or online) and heard about quite a few people who said all the right things in their profiles - very devout, very conservative, very eager to marry - and turned out to be no better than some agnostic you could meet in a bar. I’m serious.

I keep going back and forth on whether or not I should join a dating site. It’s interesting that you felt like the way you did at AMS. I had to admit, I wondered if that would happen, the whole “fresh meat” thing. Two other things that bother me about AMS is that 1 the people on the site do tend to be a little older than me. I’m not completely opposed to dating an older man, but I’d feel more comfortable with someone near my age and 2 the idea that many people on the website feel the need to get married right now. I’m NOT saying I wouldn’t marry right now. If I met a great Catholic man tomorrow, and we both felt that God was calling us to marry, then I would marry him. But I’m not panicking (for the most part). I don’t want to get involved with someone who’s panicking. In my mind, there’s a difference between someone who wants to get married and has children, even someone who’s serious about looking for a spouse, and someone who’s panicked.

I am thinking more seriously about joining a site now, because I have a little more money at my disposal, and I’m living in a foreign country where there are very few people who speak English. Granted, I still feel a sense of community at my parish, even though I can’t really communicate with the people there. But it’s not quite the same. So, even if it was just for friendship, I am still thinking about joining a website. But the thing that bothers me the most is the fact that it’s still the internet. I mean, as you said, there’s no reason someone can’t say “all the right things” to get a response, and then you find out that that’s not who they are at all. One of my friends calls the internet the “pseudo-world,” and he’s right. I love the “pseudo- world,” but is it really the best place to look for a real relationship?

That being said, I still may join a website.

 

[HOPEFUL_IN_UK]

Hey I had another question, I signed up for Catholicsingles, I think it just seemed the most appealing to me. My question is: how far is too far to travel? I know it’s a somewhat personal preference with each individual… But over 100 miles seems kinda far, wouldn’t you think? There is no one in my area that has had recent activity. For the people that have had success with these type of things: how far did you have to look? Thanks!

That’s like asking “how long is a piece of string?” It’s up to you. I mean, I drive almost 100 miles to buy groceries, which would have seemed absurd to me a few years ago.

I liked meeting men from far away because I didn’t want to date for recreation. I wanted to get married and didn’t want to waste time hanging out and amusing one another on weekends for months. I was in Ohio, and DH was in England. My husband emailed me in late May. We met in person in early September, were married in February, and had our first baby that December. Worked for me!