Best friend threatening legal action against my neighbour

[mommy_k]

As your friend sounds like a close frient, I think it totally acceptable to remind her that she was the one who got drunk and acted stupidly. Likewise, It should be acceptable to tell the neighbors that they have a serious issue with a vicious dog, one that must be kept under tight control, though putting such a beast down is between them and animal control. Surely with so much blame and stupidity on both sides, some compromise could be reached, like letting them just pay the medical bills and the friend sucking up the pain, or maybe even paying half.

Yes.i suggested they pay the Dr biill, but they are in Canada and it’s free.

However:

They served alchohol in thier home. Then they agreed to have the friend feed this dog a biscuit and having this contact knowing the op was drunk. They could have locked up the dog at any point and not encourage contact.

Then when the op first met this large dog, it put its paws on her shoulders and growled in her face. She was not drunk at the time…
So, the other side to this is why would anyone even go into this home and stay with this dog roaming around?

So yes, alot of stupidity and carelessness is going on for all parties here. And then to worry that the neighbors will somehow retaliate or be a problem–what kind of people are these neighbors if you worry about that–they should own up to thier part in all of this.
They shoyld be calling to see how the guest felt, and feel pretty badly about it and apologise.

 

[EasterJoy]

As your friend sounds like a close frient, I think it totally acceptable to remind her that she was the one who got drunk and acted stupidly. Likewise, It should be acceptable to tell the neighbors that they have a serious issue with a vicious dog, one that must be kept under tight control, though putting such a beast down is between them and animal control. Surely with so much blame and stupidity on both sides, some compromise could be reached, like letting them just pay the medical bills and the friend sucking up the pain, or maybe even paying half.

Telling both her friend and her neighbor, “This is your issue, you deal with it, because I’m not touching it with a ten foot pole,” is probably the wisest option.

Some of us have relationships and communication styles from which we and our friends can tell each other when we’re being stupid, and we actually listen to each other. That is a golden situation, and that might allow the OP to offer advice. Most of us, however, do not have that.

The only reason I might get into a “shoot the messenger” scenario with my neighbor in a case similar to this is the chance that they’re so likely to have a far more serious tragedy next time. Their dog has bitten someone. It has killed one of their other pets. It is not well-socialized and it is one of the exceptionally powerful breeds of dogs. The people in their life who know about this threat, a threat that could get a child or even an adult killed or maimed for life, have a duty to ask themselves if there is any chance a word from them might shake these dog-owners out of their denial. If so, bite the bullet, sit both owners down, and say something.

As for the friend, people who drink to excess put their friends in a terrible spot. It is one thing to seek safety in numbers, in case someone inadvertently has too much to drink. It is another to ask your friend who has the ability to be temperate to be your side-kick on your planned binges. Designated drivers server a very important purpose, but they are wise to avoid habitually enabling problem drinkers.

 

[UbiCaritas]

Yes.i suggested they pay the Dr biill, but they are in Canada and it’s free.

However:

They served alchohol in thier home. Then they agreed to have the friend feed this dog a biscuit and having this contact knowing the op was drunk. They could have locked up the dog at any point and not encourage contact.

Then when the op first met this large dog, it put its paws on her shoulders and growled in her face. She was not drunk at the time…
So, the other side to this is why would anyone even go into this home and stay with this dog roaming around?

So yes, alot of stupidity and carelessness is going on for all parties here. And then to worry that the neighbors will somehow retaliate or be a problem–what kind of people are these neighbors if you worry about that–they should own up to thier part in all of this.
They shoyld be calling to see how the guest felt, and feel pretty badly about it and apologise.

An animal control officer once told me that a lot of dog owners are in near-total denial about how badly their dogs can behave. It’s similar to the way some parents are about their kids in school: you could have video of a 6th-grader beating the snot out of a 1st-grader, and show it to the parents, and they’d say that the older kid was provoked/had a bad day/it wasn’t his fault, and how dare you suggest that he so much as apologize?

Of course, it’s usually the dog who ends up suffering.

 

[EasterJoy]

I wish this forum had a “like” button for especially good posts. Of course, we don’t want to use too broad a brush. The owners who are not in denial probably don’t encounter animal control officers nearly so often as the clueless owners who vainly suppose that their affection for their dogs makes up for everything else they fail to do as dog owners. (Such as acting like an the party with responsibility and the capacity to make adjustments to ward off bad situations, rather than as the side-kick who happens to supply the car and the cash for a life of adventure between equals.)

An animal control officer once told me that a lot of dog owners are in near-total denial about how badly their dogs can behave. It’s similar to the way some parents are about their kids in school: you could have video of a 6th-grader beating the snot out of a 1st-grader, and show it to the parents, and they’d say that the older kid was provoked/had a bad day/it wasn’t his fault, and how dare you suggest that he so much as apologize?

Of course, it’s usually the dog who ends up suffering.

And the children who are “too good” to be disciplined suffer, too.

 

[JanetF]

Coming from a different angle… do you not have restricted breed legislation there? We and the UK do and I wonder at anyone letting a breed like a rottie roam the house like that without even a muzzle?

Not the dog’s fault…

If that had happened here in ireland probably no more dog sadly

But yes, do not borrow trouble Stay clear and pray,

Not all rottweilers are aggressive! Though I do agree with the idea that the owners should have put the dog in another room during a party knowing the dog didn’t like strangers.

 

[Listener]

As a cat lover, I am sorry to be so harsh, but these sound like neighbors from hell. If you’re friend is suing them for a dog bite, maybe that’s a blessing in disguise. If they snub you now, you won’t have to be in the house with that dog any more.

If you’re sharing a driveway, it sounds like you live in the city. They need someone who lives in the country to adopt that dog, and it needs to have its own dog house instead of being in the house.

I would never let my child go in that house! The child’s fate could be the same as the cat’s.

 

[EasterJoy]

As a cat lover, I am sorry to be so harsh, but these sound like neighbors from hell. If you’re friend is suing them for a dog bite, maybe that’s a blessing in disguise. If they snub you now, you won’t have to be in the house with that dog any more.

If you’re sharing a driveway, it sounds like you live in the city. They need someone who lives in the country to adopt that dog, and it needs to have its own dog house instead of being in the house.

I would never let my child go in that house! The child’s fate could be the same as the cat’s.

Harsh to say it, but that dog could easily be “going away to live in the country” some day.

 

[Viki63]

I would never let my child go in that house! The child’s fate could be the same as the cat’s.

I think this needs to be emphasized. You have a two year old? You seem a little too anxious not to offend your neighbors. That might be a recipe for disaster.
Dogs, especially vicious ones, will frequently attack children without provocation,
Please keep your child far away from that dog.

.

 

[ConfusedLucy]

It reminds me of a horrible story in the UK where a teenager who was sleeping over was killed by a large dog that was roaming around the house. Big dogs can require several hours walking per day or a secure open space for exercise. These breeds aren’t suitable house pets for people living in built up areas with sedentary lifestyles. I know someone who is really suffering because her next door neighbour has bought a dog they never walk and it just sits in the house barking all the time.

Don’t get a dog if you are unable or unwilling to adjust your lifestyle, get a hamster.

 

[UbiCaritas]

It reminds me of a horrible story in the UK where a teenager who was sleeping over was killed by a large dog that was roaming around the house. Big dogs can require several hours walking per day or a secure open space for exercise. These breeds aren’t suitable house pets for people living in built up areas with sedentary lifestyles. I know someone who is really suffering because her next door neighbour has bought a dog they never walk and it just sits in the house barking all the time.

Don’t get a dog if you are unable or unwilling to adjust your lifestyle, get a hamster.

Right.

Our next-door neighbors have an unneutered, unresponsive-to-commands, fear-aggressive pit bull* they let wander the street. Leaving aside the nuisance factor–one of the reasons we don’t have a dog is so that I don’t have to pick up poop from my front yard–this animal is a tragedy waiting to happen. It runs up to people and barks/postures aggressively, chases people from their own yards, etc. I am particularly worried about DD, age 2, who loves all dogs and who, despite our efforts to the contrary, doesn’t understand that not all “PUPPIES!!!” are the sort with whom you play. (Please note she isn’t allowed in the front yard alone anyway, and I check things out before I let her out there with me.) There’s also the elderly lady across the street, who has nearly fallen when charged by this dog while she goes to her car or to get the mail.

This is probably not a “bad” dog. Few dogs are. However, lack of training, socialization, and stimulation will make it that way, and it will end up suffering the consequences. I can think of one neighbor whose response, if it charges his wife or elderly, live-in MIL, will likely be to shoot the dog, and I can’t say I’d blame him too much.

*Yes, this dog and its owners have been reported on multiple occasions to both animal control and the HOA, but neither can do much about it unless an officer actually witnesses the dog being loose. I’m generally too busy running inside to get video. Sigh.

 

[EasterJoy]

I think this needs to be emphasized. You have a two year old? You seem a little too anxious not to offend your neighbors. That might be a recipe for disaster.
Dogs, especially vicious ones, will frequently attack children without provocation,
Please keep your child far away from that dog.

.

I would want a fence or door between me and that dog at all times. There is no way I’d let a child anywhere near a poorly-socialized Rottweiler, especially not after what happened to the poor cat that lived with it.

Any poorly-socialized dog can give your child a fear of dogs that lasts. A powerful poorly-socialized dog can maim or kill a child, though, and in a matter of seconds. Don’t take that chance.

 

[AbideWithMe]

Any poorly-socialized dog can give your child a fear of dogs that lasts.

Yes. Even apart from the risk of a child getting bitten or knocked over, a dog like this could ruin a child’s possibility of being confident and calm around other dogs.

These neighbors have repeatedly shown extremely poor judgment, as evidenced by the fact that incidents keep happening though I’m sure they don’t want them to happen; proof, then, that they can’t handle this dog.

 

[maltmom]

*Yes, this dog and its owners have been reported on multiple occasions to both animal control and the HOA, but neither can do much about it unless an officer actually witnesses the dog being loose. I’m generally too busy running inside to get video. Sigh.

If any of your neighbors have outdoor security cameras they probably have recorded this dog running around. That might be worth checking into before someone gets hurt.

 

[ConfusedLucy]

I would be terrified to live on a street where there was a dog like that running around loose. I hope you manage to resolve this.

 

[jazzy0710]

UPDATE:

MY Best friend’s bite did heal. There was no infection of any sort. She didn’t pursue any legal action. The dog will be muzzled when she visits.

 

[ConfusedLucy]

Have your neighbours learned anything from this experience?

 

[misspriss]

The dog should be muzzled when anyone visits, or put away.

 

[EasterJoy]

UPDATE:

MY Best friend’s bite did heal. There was no infection of any sort. She didn’t pursue any legal action. The dog will be muzzled when she visits.

This dog bit a fellow family pet on *at least *one occasion (“One night the dog bit Cat A’s eye and it bled”) killed a family pet on a separate occasion (“Sadly the cat had to be put down because her injuries were too severe. The dog basically clamped down on the cat’s head crushing her skull.”), been aggressive with you on a third occasion (“The day I first met the dog I gently put out my hand but didn’t touch her. She jumped right up, paws on my chest growling at me”) and on this last occasion has bitten yet another guest.

We all know those were not the sole isolated incidents of aggression from this dog. They own a fearful dog that deals with its anxiety by attacking. The solution of the owners is an occasional muzzle? Are they crazy? They have to make certain that this dog is *always *secured where it cannot possibly bite anyone or harm any of their other pets. Even then, they have to admit that they’ll still have a dog with psychological problems they have never dealt with.

They think the way to deal with a fearful dog that bites is to scold it when it does? Honestly, someone like that should not even be allowed to own a dog at all. They essentially killed that cat of theirs by failing to see the danger this dog posed to it. Are they going to wait until their dog maims or kills a fellow human being, too? What is that kitten to them? Is it a disposable accessory to the “dog child”?

I would have a talk with Woman B about this. She and Woman A have gotten off lucky, so far. They should not assume their luck is going to hold forever. Enough of this “tragedy struck” stuff. They have to see that more of the same is coming. The person who suffers for their recklessness is likely to be someone else and could easily be a child. What excuse are they going to have for that child’s parents?

If you say nothing to them, what will your excuse be?