"better than thou" attitude

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How or what is the best way to handle people who walk around with that, " better than thou" attitude and spouting grandiose stories along with reminding you - ever so gently…(not), how Godly, knowledgeable, gifted and good they are? Especially when we are personally aware of ALL their traits…

I know you are but I am (try to be) too- doesn’t sound like a good answer…

I’m so tired of people like this. I believe most of the people who are truly gifted by God are modest and at least try to be evasive as they are meek and humble of heart and these things are generally kept private. I understand even these people have moments of breaking, but bragging, talking just to talk, etc are generally not among their traits. So, near a breaking moment myself- what is the best way to handle people like this? ignore them?

Thanks and God Bless
~Bix
 
You sound a bit worn out from it, but it doesn’t matter what people think, but how God sees us, because as Jesus says, “Amen, I say to you, tax collectors and prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God before you.” (Matt 21:31)…because they are humble and repentant.

The Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector

**9 To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable: 10 “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’

13 “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’ (Luke 18:9-14)

14 “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” **

In another post I just quoted words from St Therese, who isn’t just a Saint but also has been declared a Doctor of the Church, and I think she says it for us when responding to the effort to live the Christian life well.
“This desire could certainly appear daring if one were to consider how weak and imperfect I was, and how** after seven years in the religious life, I am still weak and imperfect. I always feel, however, the same bold confidence of becoming a great saint because I do not count on my own merits since I have none, but I trust in God who is Virtue and Holiness. God alone, content with my weak efforts, will raise me to Himself and make me a saint, clothing me in His infinite merits. I didn’t think then that one had to suffer very much to reach sanctity, but God was not long in showing me this was so and in sending me the trials I have already mentioned.**”
Therese remarked that such holiness may “not be evident to the eyes of mortals.”

So does it help just to know that?
 
Just smile slightly, say something like, “how nice for you,” and then turn the topic of conversation to something more interesting than their supposed holiness. Calling them out on it would only start a fight.

By the way, “bearing wrongs patiently” is one of the seven spiritual works of mercy. Dealing with annoying people fits the bill here. By being irritating, thus wronging you, they are giving you an opportunity to grow in your own personal sanctity. I guess that could be one way of looking at it. And when you stop and think about it, the grandiose, whether spiritually or temporally, are really crying out to be noticed and appreciated. Isn’t it sad that some people feel so insignificant that they are compelled to try to be bigger than life? So maybe, while you are yet again stuck listening to their supposed feats of spiritual grandeur, you can silently say a little prayer that God gives them what they need so they can truly and accurately appreciate their worth as one of His children, and bask in that knowledge without having to proclaim it to anyone unfortunate enough not to run away while they hold forth on it!

God bless you for dealing with them–they sound like a few of my office mates. Dealing with them is a martyrdom of paper cuts!
 
God bless you and thank you. Yes, it does.

Thank you so much. I only logged back in to see if the thread was still up as I reported it myself about 5 minutes later apologizing and stating it was not a very
Christ like question or Christ like to have this attitude in the first place… I reported that I already new the answer to my question and promised to be more prayerful before posting… 🙂

Apparently, it was bothering me more than I thought and your reply gives me much peace about it. I guess I knew the answer, but didn’t have peace about it.

:blessyou: for having just the right words to say

Thank you

God Bless
~Bix
 
Bix said:
How or what is the best way to handle people who walk around with that, " better than thou" attitude and spouting grandiose stories along with reminding you - ever so gently…(not), how Godly, knowledgeable, gifted and good they are? Especially when we are personally aware of ALL their traits…

~Bix
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the same way you respond to people who remind you how beautiful, thin, smart, rich, sexy etc. they are:
“How nice for you; who do you like in the playoffs?”
 
Some of those people are, in reality, in need of affirmation. They supply it to themselves on their own if they can’t get it from the outside. Might be in inferiority complex.
 
this is my first time posting in a very long time although I read the forum daily. I’m eagerly waiting to hear more replies since I too am having a most difficult time with something like this which has been going on for quite some time. Its very hard to deal with this type of person, I pray constantly for patience with it but it seems to just be getting worse day by day to the point that I question myself if I’m not growing and maturing in Gods Word as I should be. Some of you have said change the subject… What do you do when the other person does not engage in any other conversation unless its biblical? bring up sports, weather, or how your day was at work or any subject for that matter and it leads this person straight to quoting scripture verses in a matter of seconds which only leads to me feeling more irritated. sometimes I feel like I’m conversing with a human bible instead of a human being. I feel horrible when I think of this person in this way because I know he has a great love for God and I have to repent many times for getting irritated with it. If I try to bring up what is irritating me to make the person aware of anything, it causes them to look at me as if I don’t have a heart for God, don’t have the Holy Spirit, and not wanting to hear Gods Word and saying things like, “one that has the Spirit will only want to share Gods word and not worldly things.”
I truly feel the OP’s frustration… I’m going through it myself and am also in need of help and advice to deal with this. All I feel I can do at this point is pray for both him and myself.
 
lxmom, I’m not sure what could convince a person who cannot speak or share without it being words of scripture.
Can you urge the person to realize that if God created this world, it certainly has value?

Another thought…if God had intended Jesus on earth only to speak the gospel, the why did God not send Jesus as a fully grown adult at the time He began His teaching ministry?

Jesus lived 30 years of ordinary life, so ordinary that His townsfolk wouldn’t believe He could be the Messiah, and wanted to push Him over the cliff. Luke 4.14-21
Now why would the people who had seen Him grow up be unable to believe anything special of Him, yes he was good, but of a known working family. On the surface He lived a normal life, holy though that was. This is a message from God that there is holiness and righteousness in an ordinary life well-lived.

I do realize that arguments or statements don’t help if you’re dealing with someone who believes they are good so long as they quote Scripture all day.
Presumably you cannot get some distance from the person or you might have done so.

My prayers for you
 
Bix, It’s good that you did ask the question.
It meant that lxmom was able to express how she? feels.
Nothing’s wasted. It was good that you did.
We can pray for her? and the person who feels that giving gospel texts each time he speaks.

That person is doing the best he knows how, even though it’s frustrating. Who knows if the grace of prayer will help him gain other insights into faith, like that loving others isn’t always talking God, but quiet witness of consideration and kindness, because loving others is the other half of Jesus’ two commandments of love. But maybe he makes up for so many people who never really apply themselves to reading the gospels.
It would be hard to live with a constant flow of scriptural texts, so God grant lxmom peace.
 
What beautiful thoughtful responses…

I am guilty of holding judgement over OP’s in a thread, now I wonder if I should ask for it to be deleted…
It was someones first post, a couple of the responses made a joke of his question regarding his concerns over a book of ‘White & Dark’ Magic that he found in the attic, his grandfather although a devout catholic had said it had been handed down…

Having had first hand experience of the dangers of both New age & dealing with someone who called herself a ‘Wicca & Witch’ I found the non productive & joking responses made me angry :mad:

After reading the posts here, I do realize my response should have been different…:o

Thanks all …👍
 
Trishie said:
Bix, It’s good that you did ask the question.
It meant that lxmom was able to express how she? feels.
Nothing’s wasted. It was good that you did.
We can pray for her? and the person who feels that giving gospel texts each time he speaks.

That person is doing the best he knows how, even though it’s frustrating. Who knows if the grace of prayer will help him gain other insights into faith, like that loving others isn’t always talking God, but quiet witness of consideration and kindness, because loving others is the other half of Jesus’ two commandments of love. But maybe he makes up for so many people who never really apply themselves to reading the gospels.
It would be hard to live with a constant flow of scriptural texts, so God grant lxmom peace.
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Thank you so much Trishie!
Thank you odile53, puzzleannie, chevalier, and lxmom! Thank you to all for your kind replies and suggestions. 🙂

lxmom, I will be praying for you as I know some people are truly …testing of patience. I will also pray God touches his heart and he is better able to communicate with others. What a gift to be so knowledgeable of scripture, yet so sad to be heard by deaf ears due to inability to communicate or perhaps inability to humble themselves…

Again, thank you everyone!
:blessyou:
 
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