Beverly Jean

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Beverly_Jean

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I have a question: I am a Catholic coming home after 27 yrs, From what I have read, the church requires that all “serious” sins be confessed by kind and number since the last confession.I did an examination of conscience to try to cover the last 27 yrs. (since my last confession), and I found some sins that fit the criteria for serious (per catechism). When I went to my priest upon first coming back to the church, he gave me absolution and a penance without hearing what the sins were, and he stated that it wasn’t necessary to mention each serious sin specifically. He said he thought that I was worrying too much about it. He further said that a confession should take under two to three minutes approx.
My concerns are: 1. How can I reconcile what he is saying with what the institutional church is saying. What about the doctrine of church authority? If I do it his way, would my confession be valid?
Another Question: Is missing Mass still considered a serious sin, that would have to be mentioned to the priest?
I’m confused about how far a priest can choose to differ from the institutional church. I would very much like to read your answer.
Thank you very much.
Beverly Jean
 
My opinion: He wanted to make it easy on you, coming home. Priests are human. Some, not all, priests think they can extend their power to do as they please.

My other opinion: Your sins are absolved, but you still have a need to express your serious sins. While I would caution you against scrupulosity- if I was the penitent, I would simply find another priest, MAKE AN APPOINTMENT, and explain what happened with the first priest. The second priest could then make the call.
 
Beverly_Jean said:
I have a question: I am a Catholic coming home after 27 yrs, From what I have read, the church requires that all “serious” sins be confessed by kind and number since the last confession.I did an examination of conscience to try to cover the last 27 yrs. (since my last confession), and I found some sins that fit the criteria for serious (per catechism). When I went to my priest upon first coming back to the church, he gave me absolution and a penance without hearing what the sins were, and he stated that it wasn’t necessary to mention each serious sin specifically. He said he thought that I was worrying too much about it. He further said that a confession should take under two to three minutes approx.
My concerns are: 1. How can I reconcile what he is saying with what the institutional church is saying. What about the doctrine of church authority? If I do it his way, would my confession be valid?
Another Question: Is missing Mass still considered a serious sin, that would have to be mentioned to the priest?
I’m confused about how far a priest can choose to differ from the institutional church. I would very much like to read your answer.
Thank you very much.
Beverly Jean
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Dear Beverly Jean,

First welcome back to the Church and welcome to these forums! 👍

Next, to answer your questions:
  1. <paraphrasing> Must we confess our sins individually to a Priest?
    Yes, we are required to do so and I am sorry that your Priest did not allow you that opportunity. This is one example why it is so important that the laity is educated about their faith and the Church. If I were in your situation, I would go to confession again, either with the same Priest or another. If it is with the same Priest, perhaps you might call ahead and make an appointment first. Make sure that you let him know that you expect to be allowed to confess your sins this time. As for the validity of your last confession, I would simply try again just to make sure.
  2. Is missing Mass still considered a serious sin, that would have to be mentioned to the priest?
    Yes, it is still a mortal sin to miss mass on Sundays and other holy days of obligation. It is therefore necessary to confess this sin to the priest in the confessional.
 
Unless of course there’s a serious reason - illness, looking after the sick, travelling, no transport when it’s a long distance etc.
 
Welcome home, congratulations on having the guts to do this and seek to reconcile yourself with God. It is unfortunate that the priest cut you off, he probably was trying to make it easy on you.

I am not so sure that is a good thing, since you are a grown up and should get those sins behind you without having that sort of feeling of doubt put upon you just because the Priest wants to make it easy on you.

It would be better if you found another priest, just look for a parish where they seem to have a lot of confessions or a more “traditional” feeling. These priests generally take their vocation a bit more seriously and seek to help save souls by offering good confessions and being available for them. You don’t even need to make an appointment with a very faithful priest they usually make themselves very available for confession.

As with all people there are ones who take their responsibilities in life seriously and some who just do the minimum. Seek a strong, faithful Priest and get this off your chest and behind you. This will make you a better Catholic and follower of Christ if you do things as seeking to give the best to God and not just “good enough”.

Don’t get too worked up about it, just seek to do the best for God and if it is possible God will help you. On the other hand you will be tempted not to and to seek the easy way. Life is a battle, live it strongly.

In Christ
Scylla
 
As I understand it, and I may be very wrong about this, being a fairly recent convert myself and having just come through a similar experience of having more than 20 years of sins to confess. My first confession lasted 35-40mins. The subsequent ones have only been 3-5 minutes long. I have been blessed to have a wonderful confessor, who is also my spiritual director.

The only thing that makes confession invalid is if you DELIBERATELY miss out any mortal sins. It seems clear to me that you had made a good examination of conscience, and the priest you confessed to probably heard the start of your confession and realised that you had done so, then stopped you. Thus, you made a good confession, your sins are absolved.

Always trying to think the best of God’s holy priests, there may have been some reason, albeit misplaced, that your confessor had to stop you. Maybe he had to get away to say mass or give a sick person the sacrament of anointing, maybe he just tried to go easy on you, maybe he thought you were being too scrupulous and wanted you to avoid getting into too much detail about your venial sins. I can’t say for sure.

At the same time, I don’t think the priest should have stopped you if the sins you were confessing were mortal sins according to the teaching of the Church.

If you forget a sin, or for whatever other reason (other than DELIBERATELY witholding it), were unable to confess it at your last confession, you can simply mention it at your next confession for your own peace of mind. Next time you go to confession, just mention that, because of time, you didn’t get the chance to confess all of your sins last time, then start where you left off. But don’t worry in the meantime, your sins are forgiven.
 
Maybe I didn’t clearly say it, and I should have as the last poster did.

If you had contrition, it wasn’t your fault you could not confess and the Priest absolved you, then you are forgiven. Don’t worry about it and use the next chance with a Priest to confess.

God knows your heart and your intent, so don’t worry about dying or anything before your next confession. God does not do “whammy’s”. Do your best, allow God to work through you and He will open the doors for you.

In Christ
Scylla
 
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