BF coming to first Mass with me

  • Thread starter Thread starter keri6789
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
K

keri6789

Guest
My BF is planning on going with me to Christmas Mass. He is not Catholic but knows how important the Church is to me and wants to go with me. I wasn’t sure what all I needed to tell him. Its been a very long time since I went to my first Mass and I don’t want him to go in there not knowing anything. Any suggestions about what I need to tell him?
 
Yes, please be clear the reasons why he will not be able to receive the Eucharist.

How wonderful that you are bringing him and he has decided to join you. Thrilling!
 
You might go over how we use postures (sitting, standing kneeling, bowing, etc…) in our worship. This is because we are not pure spirits, but a body and soul composite, and when we worship, we worship with our whole selves.

I’d also go over a basic overview of the parts of the Mass (pray for God’s forgiveness in the Penitential rite, listen to readings form the Bible, sermon, creed stating what we believe, prepare for communion, consecration, communion rite, dismissal).

Finally, with regards to his not receiving communion, I’d compare it to marriage. The marital embrace is a good and holy thing, but it is reserved for those who have publically professed their union (ie, marriage vows). Just the same with receiving Holy Communion: until a person publically unites himself to the Catholic creed and is confirmed/baptized Catholic, he should refrain from receiving her sacraments. Also, assuming he does not believe in the Real Presence, it would not be honest for him to receive, for as Paul the Apostle tells us in 1Corinthians 11:29, “to eat and drink without recognizing the body and blood brings damnation unto himself.” You’re just looking out for him.
 
How wonderful that your boyfriend is going to go to Mass with you! I remember the first time I went to Mass. It left an impression in my mind that the Catholic Church is the one true Church. I fell in love with the Catholic Church quite quickly.
 
I actually would not try to teach him too much beforehand, simply that he knows to dress appropriately, not to chew gum or bring food, basic etiquette, if you think he needs it. Let him know he can either sit, stand and kneel when you do, or remain sitting if he prefers, and that of course he will not receive communion as it is reserved for Catholics only. He does not need to know all the theology, but should just observe and drink it in. If he asks questions later, that would be the time to give more detail.
 
I’d explain the ‘sign of peace’ to him, and as puzzleannie said, explain that he shouldn’t feel obliged to kneel if he prefers not to.
 
It will not draw attention to him. If people are preoccupied with what your BF is doing, that is their problem. However, he should sit forward in the pew so the people behind him don’t hit him in the head when they kneel.

Also, pull out the Music Issue and open it to the Mass, that way, he can follow along. Get the Missaelette out as well, since Midnight Mass is it’s open specialness. And “warn” him that there will incense.
 
puzzleannie,

I agree that one shouldn’t overwhelm a guest to a Mass, but it’s also good to have answers ready in case the guest asks the logical question, “Why do you do it that way?” I guess that was my reason for posting the background info.

Ciao.
 
Hi Keri,
I don’t have any more advice than what you’ve been given here but just want to congratulate you on snagging a nice fellow that is open to going to Mass with you. What a beautiful Mass to attend too! Let me know how it goes!
 
Last year at Christmas vigil, I was still a catechumin, so I didn’t know alot. Just enough to get by during mass. My roomate-noncatholic- went with me. The only advice I gave her was if they say anything, respond “and also with you”. When the sign of peace came, she turned white and responded “and also with you” to every one who greeted her. Needless to say, I don’t think she wants to go back this year! :rotfl:
 
Sit next to him (I’ll assume you’d do that) and guide him a long. It isn’t very difficult to follow along in the postures of the Novus Ordo. As my Benedictine Brothers told me, “Monk-ee see, Monk-ee do!”
😃

Adam
 
…and make sure he turns off his cell phone…LOL

How wonderful tht he is going with you. The Mass is a delight to experience…

:heart:Blyss
 
Sit when you sit.
Sit when you kneel.
Stand when you stand.
Sit when you go up for Communion.
Sing. Whether you sing or not 😃
 
IrishAm said:
Sing. Whether you sing or not 😃
Click to expand...
Once I took my non-Christian girlfriend to mass with me and she was singing the parts of the hymn that only the choir was singing. I forget which one exactly. I wasn’t sure whether to tell her to stop singing or not. I found it pretty awkward.

So tell him not to sing if he’s the only one singing besides the choir. LOL.
 
Neil_Anthony said:
Once I took my non-Christian girlfriend to mass with me and she was singing the parts of the hymn that only the choir was singing. I forget which one exactly. I wasn’t sure whether to tell her to stop singing or not. I found it pretty awkward.

So tell him not to sing if he’s the only one singing besides the choir. LOL.
Click to expand...
She was right. If the Choir sings, you sing. There is nothing that the Choir does that you can’t do.
 
PatienceAndLove said:
She was right. If the Choir sings, you sing. There is nothing that the Choir does that you can’t do.
Click to expand...
Thinking back… I think everyone including the choir was singing the chorus, but one person from the choir was soloing the other parts.

But… I didn’t say anything to her. 🙂
 
Chovy said:
Hi Keri,
I don’t have any more advice than what you’ve been given here but just want to congratulate you on snagging a nice fellow that is open to going to Mass with you. What a beautiful Mass to attend too! Let me know how it goes!
Click to expand...
How well I remember the first Midnight Mass my husband, then boyfriend of only 2 months, attended with me – 35 years ago! He wasn’t Catholic, still isn’t for that matter, but wasn’t unfamiliar with Mass because as a kid his youth choir had sung at Masses/services in all the different churches in the town where he grew up so I didn’t have to give him any pointers.
He didn’t kneel when we did, but sat down at consecration & communion. In this day and age, with so many mixed-marriages and couples of mixed faith attending Mass at Christmas, nobody will pay attention to that.

My son’s girlfriend, who had no religious background whatsoever, attended
Mas with us Christmas Eve 2005. She was a little overwhelmed but certainly didn’t stand out any more than anyone else.

BTW, the only Midnight Masses he’s missed in 35 years were the few when he was working. He now sings in our church choir at Christmas and Easter – but he’s not ready to take that any further. He may never be, but he was always there with me if I needed him to be with the children at Mass while I was a reader or EMHC. He was always present and encouraging the children when they were preparing for the sacraments. Even when it came to Communion, he’s had priests offer it to him under the cloak of ecumenism but he’s always refused “I can’t. It would be saying I believe what you do and I don’t.”
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top