Bi-polar Family Member?

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Amaya

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I’m not a psychologist or a doctor by any means, but I’m pretty sure my older brother (26) is bi-polar. He has ‘episodes’ that used to be rare but happen almost daily now, where he’s either so hyper he can’t stop talking, so depressed that he cant stop crying, or so angry that he throws / breaks inanimate objects. He hasn’t hurt anyone yet, but he talks about sitting alone in his room and feeling pure hate, and even scaring himself with the thoughts that go throughhis head of what he wants to do to people. He refuses to get properly diagnosed, go to therapy or take medication. He’s never had a real job, and is on disability for social anxiety. He also had nightmares and delusions.

These episodes of his are making it impossible for anyone in the house to have a normal life (including our 13 year old brother) and often range and raves at my mother and is very demeaning. He has refused to pay rent or car insurance for months now.

I’m not sure what to do. Everyone my mother has talked to has said that she needs to kick him out, but he has nowhere to go and can’t take care of himself (his rating and sleeping habits are horrible, and he doesn’t even do his own laundry). We all still love him and want to help him, but nothing seems to be working. A suicide hotline that my mother once called and talked to said that he needs to be institutionalized for at least six months.

When do you draw the line? As his family we pray and want to help him, but his behaviour towards our mom is emotionally abuse and he refuses any professional help. Is there a point when enough is enough and he needs to get out, or is this maybe our cross to bear?

Scared and confused. =\
 
*Rants and raves, sorry. Typed this on my phone and it likes to autocorrect.

*Eating and sleeping habits.

*emotionally abusive
 
First, a little self-disclosure. I am bipolar and have been diagnosed as such for the past twelve years. I am currently stable and have been on the same meds for the past 11 months. My wife has the capability to have me hospitalized if I am suffering from psychosis or some other manifestations common with bipolar disorder. Luckily the meds have enabled me to have a fairly normal existence.

I sounds to me that your mother should seek to have your brother hospitalized until he is properly diagnosed and has been stabilized on medications. It does not appear that he is able to make rational decisions at this stage of his illness and that this course of action will, in point of fact, bring him back to his senses and give him a chance at a normal life.

Absent such intervention you can expect more of the same and possibly much worse, up to and including the possibility that he will harm himself or another family member.

Do not walk but run to begin this process. His life, and that of everyone in your family hinge on this course.
 
Thank you so much for the reply. My mother has had to call the cops on him twice, both times they have brought him to the hospital he has been released. The first time he was even there for 9 hours and talked to 3 different doctors and they still sent him home. I suppose that is the system failing but we will have to try again. =\ We really do worry about him and want to help him.

Again, thanks so much for the reply. We are all struggling with this, probably him most of all.
 
Amaya said:
I’m not a psychologist or a doctor by any means, but I’m pretty sure my older brother (26) is bi-polar. He has ‘episodes’ that used to be rare but happen almost daily now, where he’s either so hyper he can’t stop talking, so depressed that he cant stop crying, or so angry that he throws / breaks inanimate objects. He hasn’t hurt anyone yet, but he talks about sitting alone in his room and feeling pure hate, and even scaring himself with the thoughts that go throughhis head of what he wants to do to people. He refuses to get properly diagnosed, go to therapy or take medication. He’s never had a real job, and is on disability for social anxiety. He also had nightmares and delusions.

These episodes of his are making it impossible for anyone in the house to have a normal life (including our 13 year old brother) and often range and raves at my mother and is very demeaning. He has refused to pay rent or car insurance for months now.

I’m not sure what to do. Everyone my mother has talked to has said that she needs to kick him out, but he has nowhere to go and can’t take care of himself (his rating and sleeping habits are horrible, and he doesn’t even do his own laundry). We all still love him and want to help him, but nothing seems to be working. A suicide hotline that my mother once called and talked to said that he needs to be institutionalized for at least six months.

When do you draw the line? As his family we pray and want to help him, but his behaviour towards our mom is emotionally abuse and he refuses any professional help. Is there a point when enough is enough and he needs to get out, or is this maybe our cross to bear?

Scared and confused. =\
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Amaya,

I wonder if it wouldn’t be a good idea to get some expert legal help now to find out what everybody’s respective rights are.
 
Hi Amaya,

I have a brother-in-law who has bi-polar disorder. My heart goes out to you and all of your family including your brother who is struggling with this problem. In the course of my sister’s dealing with the situation, she discovered a group called NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) Their web site is www.nami.org. Hopefully this group can give you some help to understand what is going on and how you can best deal with it. They have support groups as well. I hope you are able to get some help for your brother. God bless you.
 
May our Lord Jesus Christ and our Blessed Mother be with all the family!
 
kykid said:
First, a little self-disclosure. I am bipolar and have been diagnosed as such for the past twelve years. I am currently stable and have been on the same meds for the past 11 months. My wife has the capability to have me hospitalized if I am suffering from psychosis or some other manifestations common with bipolar disorder. Luckily the meds have enabled me to have a fairly normal existence.

I sounds to me that your mother should seek to have your brother hospitalized until he is properly diagnosed and has been stabilized on medications. It does not appear that he is able to make rational decisions at this stage of his illness and that this course of action will, in point of fact, bring him back to his senses and give him a chance at a normal life.

Absent such intervention you can expect more of the same and possibly much worse, up to and including the possibility that he will harm himself or another family member.

Do not walk but run to begin this process. His life, and that of everyone in your family hinge on this course.
Click to expand...
I agree. I suffer from bipolar disorder and depression which have led to suicidal ideation.

I will pray for your brother, but please make sure he gets the help that he needs.
 
The criteria for acute admission to psychiatric award are if patient is suicidal or putting or serious threat to others. That is the only criteria they will use to admit. That is in my locality. However, patients can be admitted for residential treatment in facilities that treat long term.

As OP suggested the www.nami.org is a good site.

Also, if your mom hasn’t already, I would suggest therapy for herself, if your brother refuses to go. They will educate her on setting boundaries and provide her with resources for help. There is help out there. I hope that your family gets it.

I will pray for your whole family.
 
Your mother should not allow him to stay with her if he is being that disrespectful and not following the rules. She needs to learn to draw boundaries. In my opinion, paying rent or attending school and attending therapy for his mental problems ought to be requirements for him living there. Family members are often amazed at how quickly one can learn to do laundery when one doesn’t have a choice.
 
I noticed that you’re from Canada as am I.There is a mobile mental health crisis unit in my area. Is there a mobile mental health crisis unit in your area? If so I’d give them a call and have them pay a visit when he’s having an episode. They may be able to help.
 
I’m not sure if there is a mobile unit here but I will look into that. My parents talked to a psychiatrist recently (without my brother) who claimed that institutions will not hold him because he has the ability to act ‘normal’ in front of others, but said that there is definitely something psychotic going on there and he should not be living at home. I’m not sure where we are going from here but I will definitely see if there is a mobile unit that could come when he is having an episode. As always thank you to everyone for the (name removed by moderator)ut and advice.
 
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