Big Brother, Big Sister experiences?

[Sheeniac]

All,

Anyone have any experiences they could share, on either end of the program (as a Little or as a Big)?

My sister is divorced with 3 young boys, and they’ve become greatly attached to her boyfriend. She plans on ending the relationship and they will be crushed. I’d like to recommend enrolling them in this program so they could have independent male role models in their lives.

Her ex-H is not a great dad, and my step-dad is interactive, but not around as much. My SO is not good with kids.

Sigh…

 

[Xantippe]

All,

Anyone have any experiences they could share, on either end of the program (as a Little or as a Big)?

My sister is divorced with 3 young boys, and they’ve become greatly attached to her boyfriend. She plans on ending the relationship and they will be crushed. I’d like to recommend enrolling them in this program so they could have independent male role models in their lives.

Her ex-H is not a great dad, and my step-dad is interactive, but not around as much. My SO is not good with kids.

Sigh…

Maybe just do an activity-oriented group thing (like scouting) that has lots of male role models but isn’t quite so transparently trying to replace boyfriend?

Doing Big Brothers right after dumping the boyfriend may look to the boys like buying them a puppy right after the old beloved dog died.

 

[camerong]

I was a Big Brother to a little boy with divorced, low-income parents from the time he was 8 on, and he just turned 22. For probably 7 years, we saw each other at least once per month. When I went to law school, we tapered to a few times per year, and now its about once a year.

Although my “little” was in a fairly stable home for a “little,” he still had dramatically more instability than I ever did growing up–several moves, different family members living with them at different times, fairly volatile visitation arrangements, etc. I got the impression that my presence in his life was one constant, at that means something.

When I first interviewed with the program, I told the interviewer how excited I was to “save” some kid (I was in high school at the time, and not the brightest). She replied that it was not our job to save the kids (she didn’t have to elaborate that many didn’t need “saving,” whatever I meant by it, and for the ones who did, saving them was probably beyond our abilities), but rather that we were there to be a good friend and role model our Littles could rely upon. And that’s it.

I guess that is how I would think of it in your sister’s situation. I have a hard time believing that any child in a challenging situation at home could not benefit from a BB/BS. So suggest it–there may be a waiting list, anyway. But usually the program is more of a beneficial supplement than a game changer, and that’s the way it is supposed to be.