Big Life Changes

[petitfleur]

I have not been on CAF for ages becuase of a crisis of faith… Still not there but trying. I have to say a huge problem for me has been staying home. I have stayed home 16 years and I love my kids but honestly I am terrible at housekeeping and cooking. I hate it in fact. I cannot wait to go back to the work force and use the talents god gave me.
I am only saying this becuase I thought I was supposed to stay home to be a Godly wife and mother ect. I know some great family’s where both parents work.
I think it is great you are called to stay home. I don’t have much of a point I guess. Reading this post hit a nerve I guess.

 

[NurseAmelia]

Don’t let it bother you! If being home is not for you then it’s not for you and you will find other ways to be there for you’re family!

 

[12345678]

You had a thread where you were positively beside yourself over missing mass and just how sinful it was.

Maybe I just can’t relate to this kind of over-thinking.

Missing Mass is sinful… I read the thread, I don’t think her questions were scrupulous. For some reason CAF people often feel that this one issue of grave matter can be easily dismissed. There can be just reasons to miss Mass, but on here it seems like missing Mass is ok whenever something else comes up that would be in conflict. Someone stated that visiting a friend is worshiping God, and there will always be other Masses, but that special time with a friend is limited.

I think most of us have pride issues to some extent, Nurse Amelia you sound reasonable here. I wish you well in this new stage in life! I do wish I could spend more time with my kids!

 

[Demetra2]

Good for you! You have made some important changes in your life and with the right approach and attitude this will bring you many good fruits. My two daughters are grown up now but over 25 yrs ago my husband and I made the same decision. I have no regrets. My daughters have grown into fine young women and I am very proud of them as they have kept their Catholic faith. Don’t worry about the lack of fancy material goods. You don’t need them. You will be receiving blessings that are far more important and priceless. This time in your life will go by in a flash and before you know it your kids will be grown and on their own. Plenty of time for splurging on fancy stuff then. I will keep you in my prayers. God Bless!

 

[Xantippe]

I have not been on CAF for ages becuase of a crisis of faith… Still not there but trying. I have to say a huge problem for me has been staying home. I have stayed home 16 years and I love my kids but honestly I am terrible at housekeeping and cooking. I hate it in fact. I cannot wait to go back to the work force and use the talents god gave me.
I am only saying this becuase I thought I was supposed to stay home to be a Godly wife and mother ect. I know some great family’s where both parents work.
I think it is great you are called to stay home. I don’t have much of a point I guess. Reading this post hit a nerve I guess.

I’ve been home about 12.5 years (married 16) and my youngest is 1.5 and I’m starting to think hard about what comes next, about the transition from Stay-At-Home-Mom to Help-Pay-For-College-So-Kid-Doesn’t-Have-Huge-Loans-Mom. Would you appreciate it more if you knew that it wasn’t forever?

 

[schaeffer]

I stayed home with my kids. When the littlest one entered school I worked a four hour a day job, then when they got to middle school I worked full time.

We were basically poor. I won’t say it was easy, but I am SO glad I stayed home with them. Wouldn’t change that for the world. It was a privledge, heck, truly it was a luxury. I think it was truly my calling.

Interestingly, I ended up becoming a teacher for home schoolers! That was a way to bring in a bit of money as well. It’s not uncommon for home school groups to hire a teacher for certain classes.

I never missed the “extras”. Fear over not having the basics was a regular stress. There were some times we were truly at the edge. There were some times we toppled over it.

Everyone has their own set of internal and external resources, and their own stress threshold. And I have no idea how far you would have to pare back your lifestyle to make this work.

When my children were young there was no internet, very few true opportunities to work from home etc. That is a more feasible option these days.

I won’t enumerate how pared back our lifestyle was, but from what I have read on CAF I know it was not unique either. Still and all, I am glad we made that choice.

As I said, I do not know what this change means for your family’s financial situation, but it did deeply affect our ability to put aside funds for retirement, and we were not able to purchase a house until we had been married upwards of 20 yrs. So the effects, both positive and negative can be far reaching and I do think it’s important to plan accordingly, and be responsible in that was as well.

 

[mommy_k]

The only thing I want to add as a mom who has worked and has stayed home too, is that we are all called as Catholic women to support each other. There should be no ‘stay at home’ camp or 'working mom 'camp. One group should not look down at the other for their roles, as both are doing what is in the best interest of their family.

To the op: best wishes to you!

 

[Cristiano]

You are very right. I am full of pride. It’s my greatest struggle, and I beg The Lord to surround me with company that makes me humble. Pardon me and my abundance of energy and zeal. I mean not to make enemies but brothers (sisters in Christ). My life has …made me overly defensive.

Welcome to the club of the prideful ones!

You must be aware that zeal and energy are a good thing and they are the virtues of humble people too. Do not constrain yourself for the fear of being prideful just be aware of why you do things. Sanctification can come through hard work in the office or from being a stay at home mother, it is not an either or scenario.

Recently I was lucky to find the book “Leadership is Hell: How to Manage Well - And Escape with your Soul”. It is a very light read that can give us a good insight on who we are and how we do things. It is somehow about managing people and projects, but it is mainly about been aware of ourselves.