BIG mistake

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t68ware

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A while ago, I made a huge mistake. For 3 years I was struggling to become Catholic while my Protestant family disagreed with me. On Pentecost I entered the Catholic Church, but after 3 months, it was too unbearable in my family for me to continue to stay Catholic, so I went back to the Wesleyan Church they belong to, thus making all my family happy, everyone but me. While everybody thinks I made the right choice and I am back where I belong, I am still Catholic in my thinking and belief system. During my defection, I hurt my Catholic friends and my priest, and I feel horrible about. I dont know how to fix this…how can I become Catholic again if the opportunity arises? I made such a mess of this, my heart hurts. My family is happy but I am not, but they will throw a fit if I become Catholic again. Please help!!
 
Pray. Ask God to help you get the best out this experience, and ask him to get you back to the Catholic Church as soon as possible. And don’t feel too bad about your priests and everything. I’m sure they will understand if you explain things to them.

God Bless
 
I believe all you have to do to make yourself right with the Catholic Church is to go to Confession. Please, go to your priest, make a confession, talk to him, give him the opportunity to guide you through this difficulty. Your priest will not hold this against you; after all, this is what he does – guide the lost sheep back to Christ through His Church.
 
It is time to take a stand for the Catholic Church. Tell your family calmly but firmly, that you are now a practicing Catholic and you will no longer be attending their church, just to please them. You have the right to make your own decisions in other areas of your life and this is no different. Just go to confession and a make a firm re-commitment to remain loyal to the Catholic Church. Stand your ground and your family will come around eventually. Don’t forget to pray for them! :highprayer:
 
You ARE a Catholic! If you were accepted into the church you are a Catholic for good. You don’t get out that easily:D. So now you are a Catholic who is regularly attending a Wesleyan church. There’s no problem if you sometimes attend Wesleyan services with your family (if you were also going to mass every weekend). But your family thinks you are a Wesleyan. It’s easier for you, and them, if they think that but it’s not the truth.

You’re in a very difficult situation. You’re living a lie to keep peace in the family. Is there anyone in your family you can talk to and explain how you feel about this? Someone who can support you? Is there any way to convince your family that you are still ‘saved’ if that’s what they are concerned about, and that you are not rejecting them by following Jesus where he is leading you?

In any case, coming back to the Catholic church is as simple as going to confession.
 
Go to your priest to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation as soon as you can. If you have been accepted into the Catholic Church, you are a Catholic for life; as another poster said, it would be very difficult for you to change that. Go to confession, and tell your priest your situation; he will not only be able to forgive you, through the authority of Christ, but he will also be able to provide advice based on what you have told him.

Be honest with him, and he will do what he can to help you deal with your family situation. What is even more important is that you pray. Pray that God will give you the light of true faith to remain in the bosom of Holy Church, and that He will give you the courage to stand your ground when your family members question you or belittle you for your decision. Pray also for your family members, that the Lord will enlighten their minds and hearts with knowledge and bring them to thirst for Him in the Catholic Faith.

I will pray for you, t68ware. Your situation must not be easy, but you have God and your fellow Catholics on your side. Above all, do not be combative with your family, but as my choir director says, “love on them” even if they don’t understand or accept why you’ve become Catholic; I have to deal with this in my own family, as I have experienced a deepening in my faith that they have not yet experienced. God will accomplish all these things in His good time, so take heart in the knowledge that He keeps His promises. 🙂
 
ok, let me clarify something…when I said I went back to the Wesleyan Church, I mean I was taken into full membership with them…that is why I do not know if I am considered a Catholic or do I have to go through Confirmation all over again?
 
You’re still Catholic. And you don’t need to receive Confirmation again.

It’s understandable for a person to have second thoughts especially if everyone is against their choices.
You are responsible first of all to God, and when you stand before God at the end,
it will be as yourself, alone, responsible for your own choices.

I can see how painful it will be to admit you made a mistake but as they love you, could not your family accept what is truly right for you and truly your choice? Easily said, I know.

I’ll pray for you for the Holy Spirit to guide you and give you what to say and do, using your understanding and faith.
I ask the Holy Spirit to inspire and heal your family.
 
Confirmation permanently changes you. Like Baptism, it is permanent and can only be done once.

What is involved in being taken into full membership in the Wesleyan Church? Would it be possible for you to talk to the Wesleyan pastor and explain what is in your heart, that you feel pressured by your family to be Wesleyan but feel that you are turning away from Jesus by doing this? Could he intercede with your family to allow you to follow your conscience? Of course, I don’t know your pastor and this may be totally out of the question.

You don’t give your age but you must be mature if you were allowed to become Catholic without your parents’ approval. At some point you will have to do what you know is right. Forget about disappointing the priest and your Catholic friends. If you go to the Wesleyan church to worship God, is He pleased with you? Whose disapproval is harder to bear, God’s or your family’s?
 
Go to confession and go back to mass.

You should also be honest with your family. You are Catholic now. They need to accept that.
 
Claire_from_DE said:
Confirmation permanently changes you. Like Baptism, it is permanent and can only be done once.

What is involved in being taken into full membership in the Wesleyan Church? Would it be possible for you to talk to the Wesleyan pastor and explain what is in your heart, that you feel pressured by your family to be Wesleyan but feel that you are turning away from Jesus by doing this? Could he intercede with your family to allow you to follow your conscience? Of course, I don’t know your pastor and this may be totally out of the question.

You don’t give your age but you must be mature if you were allowed to become Catholic without your parents’ approval. At some point you will have to do what you know is right. Forget about disappointing the priest and your Catholic friends. If you go to the Wesleyan church to worship God, is He pleased with you? Whose disapproval is harder to bear, God’s or your family’s?
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Being taken into full membership is called confirmation in most Protestant churches. Actually, the pastor of the church was all for me leaving the Catholic church. He is VERY sola scriptura and has issues with quite a few of the teachings of the Church. I was so overjoyed last night when I read I was still Catholic, it just about brought tears to my eyes!!!
 
t68ware said:
Being taken into full membership is called confirmation in most Protestant churches. Actually, the pastor of the church was all for me leaving the Catholic church. He is VERY sola scriptura and has issues with quite a few of the teachings of the Church. I was so overjoyed last night when I read I was still Catholic, it just about brought tears to my eyes!!!
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Good! 🙂 Now all you have to do is follow through and go to confession and return to attending Mass each week (more frequently if possible). Remember, it won’t be your relatives who judge your faithfulness to Christ and His Church, but the Lord Himself. Consider that your fidelity may lead some in your family to discover the truth of the Catholic Faith, so make of your sufferings as they badger you a prayer for that to be accomplished.
 
Its tough being a Catholic. Christ came to bring division, son against father and father against son. So stick with your decision to be Catholic. Never quit loving your family, but remember God is first in ALL things.

A few years ago my youngest daughter left the Catholic church for an evangelical group and then decided to marry an evangelical. She asked me to walk her down the aisle. I had to say “no, as a Catholic I cannot participate”. Then her her husband to be asked me for my blessing. Again, I had to tell him that I could not do so because I was Catholic and did not approve of marriage outside of the Catholic church, but that I loved both of them and would pray for them.

It about broke my heart but I will not violate my trust in God and church.
 
We hurt when our loved ones hurt, and it’s natural to want to make them happy. But the Lord also speaks to each of individually and to be in His True Church is such a precious gift. We’ll all be judged on what we do. Remember what Scripture says:
+++
And that servant, who knew the will of his lord and prepared not himself and did not according to his will, shall be beaten with many stripes.

But he that knew not and did things worthy of stripes shall be beaten with few stripes. And unto whomsoever much is given, of him much shall be required: and to whom they have committed much, of him they will demand the more.

I am come to cast fire on the earth. And what will I, but that it be kindled?

And I have a baptism wherewith I am to be baptized. And how am I straitened until it be accomplished?

Think ye, that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, no; but separation.

For there shall be from henceforth five in one house divided: three against two, and two against three.

The father shall be divided against the son and the son against his father: the mother against the daughter and the daughter against her mother: the mother-in-law against the daughter-in-law and the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.

-Luke 12:47-53)

+++

And corsair, your experience also made me sad, but I also could not see myself doing differently in a like situation.

Love our family and friends, yes, but love God first.

🙂
 
Hope you can fix it. I will be praying for you. Get back home:thumbsup:.
 
I know that this is a hard teching because I too will soon have to deal with this. Fortunately for me I at least have Catholic grandparents. But the bottom line is, who do you want to please? Do you want to please your family, your friends, your priest, or even yourself? Your answer to that should be NO. I want to please God. Christ said that son will forsake father and daughter will leave mother. If you believe that the Catholic Faith is the true Faith then you should embrace it. They are your true family. Your spiritual family is worth far more than your earthly family.

I myself am preparing to deal with this. May God be with us
 
t68ware said:
ok, let me clarify something…when I said I went back to the Wesleyan Church, I mean I was taken into full membership with them…that is why I do not know if I am considered a Catholic or do I have to go through Confirmation all over again?
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Your still a Catholic.
I pray for you and your family.
God bless and peace to you:thumbsup:

jesus g
 
My parents aren’t happy about my upcoming conversion, although it doesn’t sound like it’s as hard for me as it is for you. But something a few people suggested to me may help in the long run. As you live as a Catholic, let your parents see that the good stuff that makes you “you” is still there. You still love God and your family and whatever good stuff you were into before your conversion. Let them see that this hasn’t turned you into some “crazy Mary-worshipping drunk” or other such negative stereotype but has truly deepened your faith and love for God and others.
 
I am a convert too. I know how you feel.

TO a certain extent, you really have to just let your family hurt. They will mourn, they will move on. You aren’t dead. Remember dear brother, "He who loves Father, Mother, sister or brother more than me is not worthy of me."

But I can tell you have a heart for God!!! Go to confession and bite your teeth when your parents start crying, and you will be okay.

Make the Catholic Church your refuge, and you will weather ANY storm.

God knew this would happen. But he called you anyway. Do you think he called in vain? No! The actions of God are without repentance, he doesn’t make mistakes!

Return to the Faith GOD called you to, and you will be saved.

caution: he who eats the lamb outside the house is profane… don’t take communion whatever you do in their church.
 
Confirmation sticks with us forever. No givebacks!

Remember, there is more joy at one lost sheep coming back to the flock. All you have to do is do Confession (as others have said, be honest - the priest is not going to tell you to get lost, but rather will help you understand that God comes even before family).

This is definitely cause to be happy. One thing - I love the last chapter of John because Jesus reminds us to ‘follow Him’ and not really concern ourselves with others (granted He was probably getting more at not worrying about why some followers seem to have better fortunes than others. Still, I think you can broadly look at it in this way too).
 
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