E
Eftwyrd
Guest
Hi! I found this place tonight, and puttered around for a while before deciding to just jump in at the deep end. 
To make a very long & weird story a whole lot shorter, Iām one of the many on the fence. I was baptized into the Church in 1987, and so I am āofficiallyā Catholic⦠but I ended up going down other paths for a while, eventually coming full circle back to Catholicism. Almost.
I guess my belief in all of this is solid on nearly every front, but thereās still that final little gap between me and total acceptance⦠it seriously feels like Iām trying to hammer a round peg into a square hole. This is the point where Iām sure most would say to just take that last great leap of faith, but Iām just not quite able to.
To try to summarize all of the things that have been swirling around in my head for the last decade or so: I just cannot believe that the Christian God is a loving god. Belief in his existence? Sure. But belief in his benevolence? Ehā¦
Case in point: Hitler. And probably not in the way that youāre thinking! Forget the millions who died because of him: I want to know why his life went the way it did.
This is a guy who was at least technically Catholic himself. And surely, at at least one point in his unhappy life, he prayed for guidance/answers/etc. Long before the Holocaust, he was just a bum living on the street.
But apparently Godās response was āscrew you, I need you to be miserable so that you can slaughter lots & lots of people so that Israel can be re-createdā.
Iām sure that thatāll be a pretty unpopular comment, but if you believe in Christianity at all, then you believe that everything that has happened throughout history had to happen. After all, itās not as though Jesus died āhopingā others would carry on his work⦠or did the Son of God flip a coin and hope for the best?
God knew how āthe Jesus adventureā would turn out⦠he knew how the Bible would turn out⦠and he knew how his Church would turn out. He knew how everything would turn out. Heās God, isnāt he? He knew from before creation that I would be sitting here typing this⦠if you believe in an all-knowing, all-powerful God, that is.
So apparently Hitler was born to be screwed (and donāt try to dismiss him as a monster⦠monsters donāt sell pretty watercolors lol). Hitler was born to be a spectacular !@#$, and to make countless others suffer even more than he did.
My question, then, is this: when the Nazi death squads were sweeping across Europe, and Godās people were begging him for help, where was The Big Guy in Charge? As Christians were being mowed down or stuffed into cattle cars, was God taking a nap? And when the Soviets came back a few years later and āliberatedā that part of the world from the Germans (ie horrifying oppression that lasted for decades), was God taking a āsmoke breakā?
It seems to me that God takes a lot of smoke breaks.
Iām not worried about the question of evil in the world necessarily⦠Iām just wondering if thereās any point whatsoever to believing in a god who presides over a world of such atrocities. Even in ācivilizedā America, weāre wiping out future generations via abortion⦠and then there are the colossal natural disasters⦠not to mention the delightful things happening now in Libya and other parts of the world. And the list goes on & on.
Why should we care, if weāre just another pawn like Hitler⦠or just another guy standing on a Japanese beach at the wrong time?
To make a very long & weird story a whole lot shorter, Iām one of the many on the fence. I was baptized into the Church in 1987, and so I am āofficiallyā Catholic⦠but I ended up going down other paths for a while, eventually coming full circle back to Catholicism. Almost.
I guess my belief in all of this is solid on nearly every front, but thereās still that final little gap between me and total acceptance⦠it seriously feels like Iām trying to hammer a round peg into a square hole. This is the point where Iām sure most would say to just take that last great leap of faith, but Iām just not quite able to.
To try to summarize all of the things that have been swirling around in my head for the last decade or so: I just cannot believe that the Christian God is a loving god. Belief in his existence? Sure. But belief in his benevolence? Ehā¦
Case in point: Hitler. And probably not in the way that youāre thinking! Forget the millions who died because of him: I want to know why his life went the way it did.
This is a guy who was at least technically Catholic himself. And surely, at at least one point in his unhappy life, he prayed for guidance/answers/etc. Long before the Holocaust, he was just a bum living on the street.
But apparently Godās response was āscrew you, I need you to be miserable so that you can slaughter lots & lots of people so that Israel can be re-createdā.
Iām sure that thatāll be a pretty unpopular comment, but if you believe in Christianity at all, then you believe that everything that has happened throughout history had to happen. After all, itās not as though Jesus died āhopingā others would carry on his work⦠or did the Son of God flip a coin and hope for the best?
God knew how āthe Jesus adventureā would turn out⦠he knew how the Bible would turn out⦠and he knew how his Church would turn out. He knew how everything would turn out. Heās God, isnāt he? He knew from before creation that I would be sitting here typing this⦠if you believe in an all-knowing, all-powerful God, that is.
So apparently Hitler was born to be screwed (and donāt try to dismiss him as a monster⦠monsters donāt sell pretty watercolors lol). Hitler was born to be a spectacular !@#$, and to make countless others suffer even more than he did.
My question, then, is this: when the Nazi death squads were sweeping across Europe, and Godās people were begging him for help, where was The Big Guy in Charge? As Christians were being mowed down or stuffed into cattle cars, was God taking a nap? And when the Soviets came back a few years later and āliberatedā that part of the world from the Germans (ie horrifying oppression that lasted for decades), was God taking a āsmoke breakā?
It seems to me that God takes a lot of smoke breaks.
Iām not worried about the question of evil in the world necessarily⦠Iām just wondering if thereās any point whatsoever to believing in a god who presides over a world of such atrocities. Even in ācivilizedā America, weāre wiping out future generations via abortion⦠and then there are the colossal natural disasters⦠not to mention the delightful things happening now in Libya and other parts of the world. And the list goes on & on.
Why should we care, if weāre just another pawn like Hitler⦠or just another guy standing on a Japanese beach at the wrong time?