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CatholicThought
Guest
My wife has epilepsy, and she generally has a few seizures on one day in a month. Before we got married we took a class on the Creighton model of NFP, and because of that I noticed that her epilepsy seemed to occur around a particular part of her menstrual cycle. Once we noticed this and talked to her neurologist, he was able to prescribe us additional medication to take around the times when she might have her seizure. Now she is more likely to go a month without having a seizure, or only have a single seizure in a month. Because she still has seizures on occasion and her menstrual cycle is fairly irregular and unpredictable, her neurologist suggested she go on birth control to regulate her cycle and hopefully control her seizures. I was opposed to this because that necessarily removes one of the primary goods of sex, but from a medical perspective it doesn’t resolve the underlying issue. I told him I wanted to try to identify the underlying problem if at all possible. At that point he kind of threw his hands up in the air and kind of gave up on trying to figure out the problem.
My wife hasn’t been to an Ob/Gyn since we moved here to NY, mainly because we cannot find a pro-life or NaPro technology trained physician. The primary care doctor just wanted to put her on birth control as well. Just today we finally went to see a Ob/Gyn and she gave my wife a prescription for an injectable birth control, and my wife said that we could use it in a way that wouldn’t let it act like birth control. I wasn’t in the room with the Ob/Gyn with my wife, so I am not 100% sure what conversation my wife had with the physician since my wife has some memory problems (which are likely associated with her epilepsy).
To give a little background on myself, I am currently a PhD candidate in neural engineering and I attend a university in the diocese of Albany. I only mention this because I have a reasonable grasp on anatomy and physiology and I can speak about medicine at a reasonably high level. I’m not a med student, but I can speak somewhat technically with physicians, and the neurologist I can speak fairly fluently with because I do neuroscience research. My wife didn’t want me to go in to see the doctor with her because she was going to have an exam. I really wanted to go in to ask if there was a way that we could use a very low dose of birth control to help with hormonal regulation without making her infertile. I tried explaining to my wife that I was skeptical about using an injectable form of birth control since there are a reasonable number of safety issues associated with injectable vs pill form of birth control, and I don’t see how it could be used at a low dose to still allow her to be fertile. She immediately started crying and yelling, and it kind of scared me a bit. She then went on to explain how miserable she is with her seizures and she is willing to try anything to be over it, and that she understands that it’s wrong to intentionally make herself infertile but she is living a pretty terrible life right now.
Now that you have the reasonably long backstory, I guess I am looking for advice about:
My wife hasn’t been to an Ob/Gyn since we moved here to NY, mainly because we cannot find a pro-life or NaPro technology trained physician. The primary care doctor just wanted to put her on birth control as well. Just today we finally went to see a Ob/Gyn and she gave my wife a prescription for an injectable birth control, and my wife said that we could use it in a way that wouldn’t let it act like birth control. I wasn’t in the room with the Ob/Gyn with my wife, so I am not 100% sure what conversation my wife had with the physician since my wife has some memory problems (which are likely associated with her epilepsy).
To give a little background on myself, I am currently a PhD candidate in neural engineering and I attend a university in the diocese of Albany. I only mention this because I have a reasonable grasp on anatomy and physiology and I can speak about medicine at a reasonably high level. I’m not a med student, but I can speak somewhat technically with physicians, and the neurologist I can speak fairly fluently with because I do neuroscience research. My wife didn’t want me to go in to see the doctor with her because she was going to have an exam. I really wanted to go in to ask if there was a way that we could use a very low dose of birth control to help with hormonal regulation without making her infertile. I tried explaining to my wife that I was skeptical about using an injectable form of birth control since there are a reasonable number of safety issues associated with injectable vs pill form of birth control, and I don’t see how it could be used at a low dose to still allow her to be fertile. She immediately started crying and yelling, and it kind of scared me a bit. She then went on to explain how miserable she is with her seizures and she is willing to try anything to be over it, and that she understands that it’s wrong to intentionally make herself infertile but she is living a pretty terrible life right now.
Now that you have the reasonably long backstory, I guess I am looking for advice about:
- Whether birth control can be used at a low dose to regulate the menstrual cycle. If not, are their other things such as hormone replacement therapy that might allow us to help regulate her cycle without making her infertile? Being an engineer, I have run some analysis on different things and read some scientific papers on epilepsy in women and really think that hormones play a factor in her seizures.
- If she decides to do the birth control, what do I do? I’ve considered myself maybe having her go on birth control for a short period of time and remaining abstinent while she is on it just to see if the birth control does help to resolve the issue. My main reason for not sharing this with her is that I have suspected that she is getting desperate enough to consider staying on it permanently if she finds she has no seizures while taking it.
- I have kind of been worried about her position on the subject of fertility and sex since before we got married she said she wanted to not get pregnant during the first year of marriage so we could settle in with each other. I really found that mentality unacceptable, even if we didn’t conceive in the first year, since intentionally avoiding without grave reason seems to go against Evangelium Vitae. I think it is kind of coming back to haunt me now where she might be willing to go on it to prevent seizures, possibly indefinitely. I think even considering this situation in the context of the principle of double effect, taking birth control would be unacceptable since the primary action (no seizures) produces a good, but not in equal proportion to the bad side effect (infertility).
- Am I being overly scrupulous about this? I was a catholic theology student for a little while, and I have been a very avid reader of Saint JPII and my line of thinking seems to be appropriate according to catholic teaching. However, I have a difficult time finding someone to discuss these things with because of the area I live in. I feel my priest would tell us that it is morally acceptable to use birth control, mainly because he has told me that my opposition to gay marriage and the female priesthood is wrong. Unfortunately, the friends we have at this church have an identical position as the priest. I think part of the reason my wife is really considering using the birth control is only partially because of her exhaustion of dealing with epilepsy, but also because it is so prevalent around us even amongst our fellow church goers.