Birth control and invalid marriage

[otjm]

I think that the Catholic Church should be more understanding in this matter, especially for people who do get married in order to get rid of porn addiction, fornication and other sins but are too poor to afford having children every time they make love because abstinence is a huge virtue but one or the other might succumb into temptation and adultery. It is an extremely delicate topic.

I am no Canon lawyer, but I have at least a hesitancy, if not a serious concern, about someone marrying “to get rid of porn addiction”.

While pornography is the depiction of sexual action in an overtly self centered approach to sexual contact, removed from any sense of giving of self, simply marrying someone so that one can have sexual activity and the gloss of legitimacy (as opposed to simply fornication) seems to lack any consent to not only a contractual but also a covenant relationship with one’s spouse.

Marriage is a bit more involved than simply saying “I do” with an attitude of “whatever, but now I can have all the sex I want”.

No one is too poor to have children; I have seen poverty in a foreign country which makes our “poor” look rich.

And abstinence is for a rather short period of time; anyone who is going to commit adultery because they needed to be abstinent for a week or ten days hasn’t the faintest clue about what marriage is about.

 

[Blue_Horizon]

D’ya ever notice that [user]dans0622[/user] never makes use of my favorite disclaimer*, “I Am Not A Canon Lawyer”? There’s a reason for that.

(* Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who disclaims such, and/or the only poster who ever gets into trouble when he forgets to do so, but that;s another thread. )

tee

Reminds me of a fellow Logic student with me in the 1980s. He was fascinated by the principle of non-contradiction.
He used to go around saying, “do you realise that everybody in the world is either a Canon-Lawyer … or Not-A-Canon-Lawyer?”

Another logical sophism of his (he was a male in his early twenties afterall) was “do you realise those girls over there are naked … under all their clothes?”

But we’re way off topic.

 

[Blue_Horizon]

God’s mercy is found in the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

Don’t you just hate it when God disobeys the Church and provides it outside the Sacraments as well .

The Scribes and Pharisees sure hated it when Jesus provided ritual purity to the unclean outside of the ritual Laws of Moses.

Why do so many Catholics seem to turn the Sacraments into a substitute for these OT Laws on cleanliness .

Communion is still a gift even for the Sacramentally “Reconciled” methinks.
Yet many see it as well-deserved recognition for keeping the Commandments and making many moral sacrifices for God over the years .

 

[Blue_Horizon]

God’s mercy is found in the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

Yet some just seem to hate it when God seems to disobey Church teaching and provides mercy outside the Sacraments as well .

The Scribes and Pharisees sure hated it when Jesus provided ritual purity to the unclean outside of the Old Covenant Laws of Moses.

Yet significant numbers of Catholics still seem to turn the Sacraments into a substitute for these OT laws on cleanliness .

Communion is still a gift even for the Sacramentally “Reconciled” methinks even though some see Communion as well-deserved recognition for keeping the Commandments and their many moral sacrifices for God over the years .

 

[ToeInTheWater]

I am no Canon lawyer, but I have at least a hesitancy, if not a serious concern, about someone marrying “to get rid of porn addiction”.

While pornography is the depiction of sexual action in an overtly self centered approach to sexual contact, removed from any sense of giving of self, simply marrying someone so that one can have sexual activity and the gloss of legitimacy (as opposed to simply fornication) seems to lack any consent to not only a contractual but also a covenant relationship with one’s spouse.

I totally agree and unfortunately many non-Catholic Christians believe that marriage, at least for men, is essentially about satisfying one’s sexual urges in “the only way God allows” but that it’s impossible to lust after your spouse, that “let the marriage bed be undefiled” actually means it’s impossible to defile the marriage bed even with acts of sodomy, clandestine sex in places such as offices and airplane bathrooms, or even having sex in the same room as another married couple, as long as no actual “wife swapping” takes place. Some even think using porn to “spice up” a marriage is allowed.

So, the narrative when such marriages are affected by adultery, is that “surely the spouse who went astray were denied their marriage rights”. Because apparently, marriage means license to have as much sex as you want as long as it’s with your spouse, but doesn’t require any restraint other than that.

ETA: I know the Catholic Church teaches about the “marital debt” as well, but certainly doesn’t seem to teach as extreme an application of it in practice, as some non-Catholic churches do.

 

[Blue_Horizon]

I totally agree and unfortunately many non-Catholic Christians believe that marriage, at least for men, is essentially about satisfying one’s sexual urges in “the only way God allows” but that it’s impossible to lust after your spouse, that “let the marriage bed be undefiled” actually means it’s impossible to defile the marriage bed even with acts of sodomy, clandestine sex in places such as offices and airplane bathrooms, or even having sex in the same room as another married couple, as long as no actual “wife swapping” takes place. Some even think using porn to “spice up” a marriage is allowed.

So, the narrative when such marriages are affected by adultery, is that “surely the spouse who went astray were denied their marriage rights”. Because apparently, marriage means license to have as much sex as you want as long as it’s with your spouse, but doesn’t require any restraint other than that.

ETA: I know the Catholic Church teaches about the “marital debt” as well, but certainly doesn’t seem to teach as extreme an application of it in practice, as some non-Catholic churches do.

While nobody would disagree with your principle, and few with the practical examples you provide…I think we have to remember that judgments re applied principles are 99% of the time prudential only. Answers may validly vary depending on circumstances…especially differing cultures.

Most of us would consider it a huge indignity if women exposed their breasts in the middle of Mass in front of a bishop and many priests. Yet I witnessed just this in the 1980s at a Papa New Guinean ordination in an isolated jungle “town”. Native women in traditional dress presented their young man to the bishop for ordination. It was in fact
showing Jesus and the bishop the highest respect. Nobody batted an eye-lid. It was expected by the bishop and clergy who apart from myself were the only Euros present.