Birth Control and Turner's syndrome

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The girl I am dating told me last night that she is not able to have children because of her Turner’s syndrome. If she were to carry a child to term, giving birth would most likely kill her.

We both want children. We both are very pro-adoption. Should we get married one day, we would adopt children. She is a cradle catholic and I will be accepted into the church at easter. I have read much on the church’s position on artifical birth control and understand it.

My question is, what should we do as far as all this is concerned? Obviously as a married couple we will want to have sex. Isn’t that part of consumating the marriage anyway? We will not want to have her conceive, but not because we want to prevent life and not have children.

Would it be acceptable to use artificial control in this case? If not, what else can we do? Thanks
 
JohnnyReb said:
The girl I am dating told me last night that she is not able to have children because of her Turner’s syndrome. If she were to carry a child to term, giving birth would most likely kill her.

We both want children. We both are very pro-adoption. Should we get married one day, we would adopt children. She is a cradle catholic and I will be accepted into the church at easter. I have read much on the church’s position on artifical birth control and understand it.

My question is, what should we do as far as all this is concerned? Obviously as a married couple we will want to have sex. Isn’t that part of consumating the marriage anyway? We will not want to have her conceive, but not because we want to prevent life and not have children.

Would it be acceptable to use artificial control in this case? If not, what else can we do? Thanks
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Artificial Birth Control is wrong in all cases, even this one. What should you do? Find a priest you are comfortable speaking to about this and discuss what options are available to you.
 
Licitness of Therapeutic Means
15. The Church, on the contrary, does not at all consider illicit the use of those therapeutic means truly necessary to cure diseases of the organism, even if an impediment to procreation, which may be foreseen, should result there from, provided such impediment is not, for whatever motive, directly willed [19].

http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/p...ts/hf_p-vi_enc_25071968_humanae-vitae_en.html

not sure if that applies for you but at least you know of it.
 
Johnny… are you saying you don’t trust God? Because that is what it sounds like. Do you know how many people (including myself) were told that they should not have children because it could kill them and yet survived childbirth? It is never ok to not trust God or to use ABC.

If you intend to marry this woman, knowing that you should not have children, the only acceptable solutions are:

  1. *]abstinence
    *]Natural family planning
    If I were you, I would contact popepaulvi.com/about.htm
    and discuss it with them.
 
JohnnyReb said:
The girl I am dating told me last night that she is not able to have children because of her Turner’s syndrome. If she were to carry a child to term, giving birth would most likely kill her.

We both want children. We both are very pro-adoption. Should we get married one day, we would adopt children. She is a cradle catholic and I will be accepted into the church at easter. I have read much on the church’s position on artifical birth control and understand it.

My question is, what should we do as far as all this is concerned? Obviously as a married couple we will want to have sex. Isn’t that part of consumating the marriage anyway? We will not want to have her conceive, but not because we want to prevent life and not have children.

Would it be acceptable to use artificial control in this case? If not, what else can we do? Thanks
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From the catechism…
2370
Periodic continence, that is, the methods of birth regulation based on self-observation and the use of infertile periods, is in conformity with the objective criteria of morality.158 These methods respect the bodies of the spouses, encourage tenderness between them, and favor the education of an authentic freedom. In contrast, “every action which, whether in anticipation of the conjugal act, or in its accomplishment, or in the development of its natural consequences, proposes, whether as an end or as a means, to render procreation impossible” is intrinsically evil:159
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In layman’s terms… Natural Family Planning. LOTS and LOTS of education is highly recommended…
It is possible to successfully use NFP…

Good luck and may God bless you both on your journey together.
 
I did some basic research on Turner’s Syndrome… and infertility is one of the biggest factors…

From this website…
Premature ovarian failure
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Most (90%) TS individuals will experience early ovarian failure. The ovaries produce eggs and hormones necessary for the development of secondary sexual characteristics. Estrogen replacement therapy is necessary for breast development, feminine body contours, menstruation and proper bone development. About a third of TS individuals will show some signs of breast development without estrogen treatment; however, many will not complete puberty, and those that do often have premature ovarian failure. Therefore, the majority of individuals will require estrogen from puberty until the normal age of menopause. Fertility without assisted reproduction therapy is rare (less than 1%).
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So birth control (or even NFP) may not even be necessary if she is infertile. 🤷

And more from that website…
Becoming a family
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Many options are available to TS women who wish to have children. The most common fertility solution for TS women is adoption. There are now also assisted reproduction technology options for TS women who wish to become pregnant. They include in-vitro fertilization with egg donation by a related or anonymous donor or donor embryo transfer. It is critical that a TS patient undergo a thorough physical evaluation (particularly cardiac and renal) before attempting pregnancy.
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With the help of medical specialists and a good social support system, a woman with Turner syndrome can live a happy, healthy life.
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In-vitro fertilization and egg donation are not in line with the morality of the Catholic faith anyway… so adoption is probably the best answer for her!
 
Thanks for your answers.

Let me add some thoughts. We NEVER discussed using artificial means of birth control. We plan on using NFP. She never expressed the desire to use ABC, nor have I. I asked the question because I considered in my mind as an option, but wanted to know what I should do about it.

I am not going to ask her, should we marry to risk conceiving, if it could be potentially fatal.

From my own story, my oldest sister is adopted because my mom was told she would never have children, despite the fact my parents tried so hard to. Lo and behold, the middle sister came and then me, so you never know.
 
Em_in_FL said:
I did some basic research on Turner’s Syndrome… and infertility is one of the biggest factors…

From this website…

So birth control (or even NFP) may not even be necessary if she is infertile. 🤷

And more from that website…

In-vitro fertilization and egg donation are not in line with the morality of the Catholic faith anyway… so adoption is probably the best answer for her!
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My research found the same. However, there is a SLIM chance that she could conceive. I do not want to take chances if becoming pregnant could be potentially fatal for her. Perhaps NFP is all the “contraceptive” we will need then?

Thanks

Johnny
 
JohnnyReb said:
My research found the same. However, there is a SLIM chance that she could conceive. I do not want to take chances if becoming pregnant could be potentially fatal for her. Perhaps NFP is all the “contraceptive” we will need then?

Thanks

Johnny
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Definitely!
I recommend having her look into NFP classes EARLY… way before marriage! The more she can learn about her own fertility the better!

Contact your diocese for NFP classes in your area… (special cases like your girlfriend’s should have a local teacher available to call to discuss any questions she may have)
Or here are some other great websites that may help too…

ccli.org/
nfpandmore.com/
creightonmodel.com/
tcoyf.com/
 
Talk to a priest.

Also GIFT type in vitro is ok by the Church I think.

Also this thread and its replies speak volumes about the level of judgmentalism that this forum has.
 
I would strongly advise speaking with a knowlegeable priest about this issue. Although you have a very pressing reason and intend to do it by licit means, the fact that you intend never to conceive a child could possibly affect the validity of your marriage. I don’t think any of us laypeople are qualified to answer this part of the question.

Betsy
 
Now alot of you recommend speaking with a priest. She and I are not really ready to talk about marriage, yet I feel that both of us hope for that in the future.

Should we do that now or should it be done as part of some type of premarital counseling? (as an evangelical, premartial counseling is something I heard alot about, I do not know if the CC does something similar)
 
IrishJoe said:
Talk to a priest.

Also GIFT type in vitro is ok by the Church I think.

Also this thread and its replies speak volumes about the level of judgmentalism that this forum has.
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I have received some helpful advice, but there has been some judgemental attitudes in some of the posts. I wonder if there is any room for obeying the spirit of the law rather than the letter of the law.
 
JohnnyReb said:
Now alot of you recommend speaking with a priest. She and I are not really ready to talk about marriage, yet I feel that both of us hope for that in the future.

Should we do that now or should it be done as part of some type of premarital counseling? (as an evangelical, premartial counseling is something I heard alot about, I do not know if the CC does something similar)
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You might as well look into it now. Then you will now how to proceed and how to prepare for the challenges ahead.
 
I have a good friend who has Turner’s syndrome. She is still single so she has not had to deal with these issues yet, but from what she’s told me, it sounds like women with Turner’s syndrome have a very small chance of conceiving. So you would probably not need to worry about it. I hadn’t heard that pregnancy can be fatal for women with this condition – are you sure that’s right?

If that is indeed the case, then I don’t blame you for wanting to be extra cautious. Birth control would still be wrong, but NFP is 99% effective when used correctly, especially the more modern methods that involve using a fertility monitor.

I know that in order for a marriage to be valid, couples need to be open to having children. If pregnancy really would kill her, though, then I think this would definitely be a case where it would be acceptable to avoid pregnancy for the entire duration of the marriage. As long as you’re open to adoption, I *think *that would make the marriage valid, but I would check with a priest to make sure.
 
IrishJoe said:
Also GIFT type in vitro is ok by the Church I think.
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The OP states they do not want to have children due to the health risks to the woman, therefore this is a moot point.
IrishJoe said:
Also this thread and its replies speak volumes about the level of judgmentalism that this forum has.
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When someone asks what the Church teaches, telling them is not “being judgmenta” it is “being factual.”
 
Johnny… are you saying you don’t trust God? Because that is what it sounds like. Do you know how many people (including myself) were told that they should not have children because it could kill them and yet survived childbirth? It is never ok to not trust God or to use ABC.
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sounds judgemental to me.

also everything seems so black and white when in reality its not
 
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